Remember Me This Way

by Quickening

 

Episode 1:

A Green Sky?  The Storm of the Centuries!

 

            “You didn’t bring your umbrella, did you?  Did I not tell you that it was supposed to rain today?  Did you actually listen to me?  Noooo

 

            At the scolding remarks, Aneko Johnson turned her gaze from the large window through which she was gloomily staring to make a face at her best friend, Chase London.  “Okay, Mr. Future-Weather-Person, let me remind you that you told me it would only be spring showers.  Spring showers means light sprinkles and baby ducks and rainbows in the sky.  That…  She pointed out the window, glaring at the dark, thundering maelstrom which roared just on the other side, “…does not look like ‘spring showers’ to me,” she finished darkly.

 

            Chase shrugged.  “So I was a little off in my calculations.  It happens,” he replied lightly as he pushed his wire-rimmed glasses up his nose, regarding his friend through pale blue eyes that glittered with amusement. 

 

Aneko rolled her own cerulean-colored eyes at him and smacked him lightly across the head, then reached down to yank on the short tail of red hair bound at the nape of his neck.  “A little off?  You’re comparing a light spring rain to Hurricane Bertha out there.  You might as well compare Gilbert the Guppy to Moby Dick,” she snorted.

 

            “You have such a gift for exaggeration,” Chase murmured distractedly as he turned back to his computer, long fingers deftly tapping keys as he opened a webpage on his browser.

 

            Aneko raised an eyebrow, somewhat miffed at her sudden dismissal.  If there was one thing she didn’t like, it was being ignored, especially by him, and especially over some glorified typewriter.  Now what are you looking for?” she demanded, leaning over his shoulder to look.  As she bent forward, the silver dragon pendant she wore around her neck swung forward to pat Chase lightly on the cheek.  He blinked at the touch of the cool metal against his skin, turning his gaze to see what had hit him.  His lips curled up in a smile when he saw the necklace, still as shiny and new-looking as the day he’d given it to her, seven years ago.

 

            “I can’t believe you still wear that thing,” he sniffed, reaching out to flick his finger against it and setting the little dragon to swinging from its chain.  The tiny emerald set in its eye flickered in the light of the computer monitor.

 

            “Of course I do!” she huffed, looking insulted.  “It was the first present you ever gave me, and it’s my favorite necklace!  I never take it off.”

 

            He glanced up at her through lidded eyes and smirked.  “Never ever?” he asked slyly, cocking an eyebrow at her suggestively.  She squeaked and blushed as the insinuation hit home, smacking him on the head again, not so lightly this time.  “Pervert,” she muttered, although she was grinning.  He chuckled and turned his attention back to the computer, inwardly pleased that she so obviously cherished something he’d given her such a long time ago.

 

            “Hey, dork.  You didn’t answer my question,” she reminded him, tapping his head with a finger.  What’cha lookin’ at?  It ain’t porn, is it?”

 

            He shot a mock-glare at her.  Now who’s being the pervert?” he snorted.  “You know me better than that!”

 

She grinned at him.  “If you say so…” she replied in a singsong kind of tone.

 

“I do say so, and if you must know, I’m looking at a site about the history of Japan,” he replied haughtily.  “Specifically, the Meiji era.”

 

Again?” she questioned, her brow furrowing as she tilted her head to one side and stared at the screen.  “What do you find so fascinating about ancient Japan?  Seriously, Chase.  Ever since I met you, you’ve always been talking about the Meiji era and stuff, and you’re always going on about that one guy…um...what’s his face?  The samurai dude?”

 

“You mean Hitokiri Battousai?” he supplied dryly.

 

“Yeah.  That guy.  What’s the big deal about him, anyhow?” she asked curiously.

 

“You mean other than the fact that he was the most famous hitokiri in all of Japan?” he replied.  “Supposedly, he was responsible for single-handedly bringing about the Meiji era, although I doubt that’s entirely accurate.  Not much is really known about Battousai.  He was a very…vague person, and he basically dropped off the face of the planet after the war.  Probably it was better that way.  He no doubt had a great many enemies to contend with after the war and the fewer people who knew who he was, the better.  Also…”  His tone became soft and contemplating…almost regretful.  “I’d imagine that he had a lot of guilt to contend with after killing all those men,” he continued in almost a murmur.  “Not all of them were guilty, you know.  Some of them were victims of a corrupted government and…well…in a war like that, I guess it’s easy for the black and white to blur into shades of gray…”

 

There was a moment of silence, and then came a skeptical snort.  “You talk like you were actually there or something,” Aneko muttered, somewhat uncomfortably.  She suddenly wished to change the subject to something less…strange.  This wasn’t, she recalled uneasily, the first time that Chase had gone off like that, muttering about the past just as though he’d lived in it.  He’d told her stuff like this before, about the assassin and such, and quite frankly, it always managed to freak her out.  When Chase got like that, it was as though he was another person altogether, and when he got like that, Aneko always wound up feeling weird as a result.  She didn’t know what it was, exactly, but his stories always managed to trigger something in her mind.  It felt like something was tugging at her brain, like a forgotten memory fighting to surface, or sometimes an overwhelming impression that whatever Chase was talking about, it was absolutely true.  That scared her, and it normally gave her a headache when she tried to ignore the feelings of déjà vu, so her usual course of action was simply to change the subject.  That, or to say nothing at all.

 

Chase glanced at Aneko from the corner of his eye as the silence stretched on, noting the slightly-glazed expression that seemed to always appear whenever he tried to tell her about the past.  He frowned, disappointed at her response.  Or rather, the lack of it.  “Are you okay?” he asked, a little concerned at the strange emotions flickering through her eyes.

 

She blinked down at him, then forced a smile to her lips and rose to stride over to his bed.  “Just fine,” she replied flippantly, forcing a bit of normality back into the situation.  “Aside from the fact that I’m once again shoved to the back-burner for a bunch of dead guys,” she added with a haughty sniff.  “I mean, how flattering is that?  Computer Nerd Boy rears his ugly head.”

 

            “Hey, now that isn’t nice,” Chase replied with a slight smile, more than used to his friend’s melodramatics.  “My head is not ugly.”

 

            “Just filled with rocks,” Aneko complained, flopping down onto the bed and idly tossing a baseball into the air.  She contemplated throwing it at him; decided it wouldn’t be worth his wrath if she missed (as she was more-than-occasionally prone to do) and hit his precious computer instead.  Chase could be downright scary when it came to that glorified lump of plastic and microchips.

 

            She huffed a deep, exaggerated sigh and cast a pout at the back of his head.  “You know, I come the whole way over here so I could whine to my heart’s content about getting dumped in a public diner in front of everyone by some two-timing jerk—expecting to get some sympathy from you in return, of course—and instead I get to hear you prattle on about Hikotori Buttsoid or whatever his name is…”

 

            Hitokiri Battousai,” came the disgruntled response.

 

            Whatever.  The point is, I came over here so my best friend could shower me with some TLC and maybe some of that Death by Chocolate ice cream I know he has stashed in the basement freezer, and so far he hasn’t even asked me how I feel!”

 

            “Oh, yeah,” came the vague response.  “You did break up, didn’t you?  Who was it again?  Bob?  Bruce?  George?”

 

            Bill, Chase.  His name was Bill,” she growled, clenching the ball so hard that her nails left grooves in the worn leather.  “And ‘breaking up’ is a nice way to describe the way he treated me today!  Good grief, could you at least pretend to be sympathetic to my plight?  You know, act like the best friend you’re supposed to be?

 

            Chase sighed and swiveled around in his chair to face her, his eyes regarding her with tender concern.  “Look, Aneko, I know you’re upset,” he began, his tone gentle and sympathetic.  “But you know that I have never liked Bill.  I already knew he was a jerk, and he was never right for you from the beginning,” he finished firmly.

 

            She snorted and rolled over, turning her back to him.  “Well, that’s nothing new.  You never like any of the guys I date,” she grumbled, scowling at the wall.

 

            Chase held back a smile.  “That’s because they’re never the right one for you,” he replied.  “Come on, you’ve been through three boyfriends this year alone…”

 

            “Only two, thank-you-very-much,” she snapped.  Then, under her breath, “Donald didn’t count as any kind of a boy, whatsoever…”

 

            “I heard that,” Chase teased, poking her in the side. 

 

She yelped and squirmed away, trying to slap at his hand, which was quickly removed from her reach.  “How do you know that they weren’t right for me, anyway?  Did you suddenly turn into Dr. Freud or something?” she asked snidely.  “It isn’t like you have any experience in dating, Mr. I-Hate-Anything-In-A-Skirt.  I’ve known you since sixth grade and never once have you had anything that even resembled a girlfriend!  People are starting to talk, you know.  I mean, a gorgeous senior like you, dateless?  It’s practically unheard of around here!  Half the school thinks that you’re gay, and the other half thinks…well…that you’re gay!”

 

Expecting to get an indignant remark out of that, Aneko was surprised when he merely laughed at her.  “People will gossip no matter what I do,” he replied easily.  “If they want to think I’m gay, who cares?  I know I’m not and that’s all that matters.  Besides, I don’t hate everything in a skirt.  I like you, don’t I?”

 

She pondered that for a moment, then smirked and held up one finger.  “Ah hah!” she exclaimed.  “But when was the last time you actually saw me in a skirt?

 

Chase blinked, opened his mouth, then closed it again and gave a little laugh, shaking his head.  “Okay, okay.  You win that one,” he conceded.

 

“Thank you,” she smirked, leaning back and crossing her arms smugly.  Then, she suddenly frowned and sat upright.  “You don’t suppose that’s it, do you?” she asked abruptly, gazing at him worriedly.

 

He blinked, confused.  “That what’s it?”

 

“That…it’s why they don’t like me?”  Her voice was suddenly very small.  “Maybe it’s ‘cause I’m not…girly enough for them.  Bill said…he told me I’m too much of a tomboy.  Of course, that was right after I told him to go to hell and dumped his milkshake over his head after I caught him making out with Emily Baker in the back booth of the diner…”

 

“He was making out with someone?  In a public area?”  Chase was furious.  “That two-timing jerk!  How dare he do that to you!”

 

“Thank you for finally taking my side,” she replied dryly.  “But as I was saying, what if he’s right?  What if I’m not girly enough for the guys?  I mean…Emily Baker could be a super model!  No wonder all the guys practically trip over their own feet to be near her.  She wears makeup and dresses in nice clothes and her hair is always so shiny and gorgeous and…and model-y.  Good grief, the girl’s practically a walking Pantene commercial!  It’s not fair!”  Pouting, she raised a hand to her lips and stuck her thumb in her mouth, absently gnawing on her nail as she pondered.

 

Chase sighed and reached out to gently remove her hand, thus saving the nail-tip from being completely chewed off.  She blinked at her hand, then grimaced.  “See what I mean?” she cried.  “I bite my nails!  They’re all…raggedy and short!  Geez, no wonder I can’t get a decent boyfriend, with my nails all chewed up and me always wearing jeans and running around like a…like a guy!  She huffed in disgust.  “That’s it!  Tomorrow I’m going to go out and reinvent myself!  No more Tomboy Aneko!  I’m gonna splurge my savings and buy a nice wardrobe with clothes I can actually wear in public without somebody thinking I just wandered in off the street!  I’ll get some makeup and then maybe I’ll get my hair cut and…”

 

She was stopped abruptly when Chase’s large hand came up to cover her lips, and she blinked at him, surprised to see a very stern expression on his handsome face.  Chase usually didn’t wear such an expression, preferring an easygoing smile or a thoughtful look, never a frown.  But whenever one did appear—especially if it was aimed at her—she knew she was about to get a lecture.

 

“You are going to do absolutely no such thing, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with you,” he told her, very firmly.  “If these guys you pick up can’t love you for who you are, then they are not worthy of you in the first place.  You’re a very special woman, Aneko, and the reason those idiots couldn’t see that is because none of them were the man you are ultimately destined to be with.”

 

Aneko sniffed a little, feeling her throat clog up at the enthusiastic speech.  Chase always knew just the right things to say to make her feel better, and if there was one thing she could say about him, it was that he was a complete romantic at heart.  He was always going on about “the right one” and destiny and two people being born for each other and never being happy until they found each other and good grief, no wonder everyone thought he was gay!  A wavering smile touched her lips at the thought.  What normal guy ever thought like that, anyway, she wondered.  Not that she was complaining or anything.  She thought it was sweet that Chase had romantic sentiments like that.  It was really too bad that she didn’t agree with them.  Destiny was all well and good, but in this day and age, it unfortunately took a back seat to more important things, like how much cash a person had or how attractive they were.

 

Bill had been very attractive.  He was also quite rich.  Aneko sighed and slumped again.  Maybe that’s why he dumped her, she thought gloomily.  Her family wasn’t exactly known for having money rolling out their ears or anything…

 

“Are you listening to me?”  Chase’s scolding voice cut into her musings like a knife, and she blinked owlishly up at him.

 

“Nothing wrong…not worthy of me…haven’t found Mr. Right,” she repeated like a mantra.

 

Chase rolled his eyes at her.  “You know, for somebody who wants advice on their love life, you certainly aren’t very good at taking it,” he complained.

 

“I never said I wanted advice,” she grumbled back.  “I want sympathy.  There is a difference, you know, but heaven forbid I should get any of that out of you…”

 

Chase sighed and knelt beside her on the floor, resting his head beside hers on the pillow to stare into her eyes.  “You’ll find him,” he whispered, reaching up to tuck a stray lock of dark hair behind her ear.  “You never know…”  His voice dropped suddenly, his eyes turning soft as he continued in a low murmur, “He may be staring you in the face and you don’t even realize it.”

 

Aneko didn’t reply, mostly because she hardly knew what to say.  The way he was looking at her made her…uncomfortable.  Yeah, that was a good word.  Definitely uncomfortable.  Her stomach was suddenly fluttering like crazy and her body kept flushing hot and cold as he continued to search her face with his gentle, seeking gaze.  It was as though he was looking through her or something, or that he was seeing something that wasn’t really there, or trying to get her to see something that she couldn’t.  His tone was vague, mysterious, as though he was hinting at something that she couldn’t even begin to—or maybe just didn’t want to—guess at.  The overall effect was…well…it was completely not-normal, and she sought to find some way to break the moment…the spell…that she suddenly found herself trapped in, before her entire world turned upside down.  

 

It was that feeling again, she realized with a sort of panic.  That feeling she got when he talked about the past…only this time it was stronger than before.  The gentle tugging at her conscience had turned into a hard tug-of-war; a forgotten memory trying hard to stay buried, even as Chase’s probing gaze sought to bring it to the surface of her mind.  It was something important, she sensed, something…life-altering.  She had the bizarre, overwhelming feeling that, if the memory failed in its struggle to stay buried, her world as she knew it would inexorably change.  She was entirely uncertain as to whether this was a good thing or not.

 

But then, as suddenly as it had begun, the moment was over. 

 

Chase was pulling away from her, effectively ending the unusual atmosphere as he rose to his feet and went back to his desk, once more bringing up his browser and searching for more documents.  Time started again, and the feeling of almost-remembering faded to the back of her mind, leaving her to stare at his back dazedly and wonder what in the world had just happened.  She took a deep breath and silently commanded her slightly-erratic pulse to calm down, feeling her flushed face gradually cool as the dark blush left her cheeks.  She was grateful to Chase for giving her time to compose herself and regain her scattered thoughts…but she was also beginning to feel a little foolish.  After all, there was no reason to have gone off the deep end like that.  It was just Chase, for heaven’s sake!

 

“So, um…”  She coughed, trying to rid her voice of the strange hoarseness in its tone.  “So did you find anything that’s actually interesting in there?”

 

Chase’s smile was sly as he continued to stare at his monitor, not really seeing what was on the screen.  He was far more interested in what Aneko was thinking at the moment.  “It’s all very interesting,” he replied calmly, just as though the last few minutes had ever occurred.  “You should come over here and read this.  Hitokiri Battousai was quite fascinating.”

           

            “About as fascinating as getting teeth pulled,” she retorted, striving desperately to get things back to normal.  “You know my thing isn’t ancient history, Charles.”

 

            He grimaced at the name; she knew how much he hated it.  Chase was so much more…suave.  She’d tried Chuck once, just to tease him, and then burst out laughing and added that it brought to mind the evil doll from the Child’s Play movies.  He even fit the description, with the red hair and the blue eyes.  Chase—who was less than amused, to say the least—had then proceeded to pull Aneko into a headlock and start tickling her until she swore she’d never, ever call him that again.

 

“Well, this is a part of your history, too, Neko-chan,” he retorted, using his own nickname for her and grinning at the face she made.  “You are half Japanese, after all,” he pointed out.  “You should at least know where your roots stem from.”

 

            Now you sound like my grandmother,” Aneko grumbled, smacking the ball against the ceiling.  “And I’m only a quarter Japanese.  Mom is half.  Besides, I’ve never even been to Japan.  Why would I need to know anything about a bunch of dead guys who used to run around killing people in it?”

 

            “It’s a part of your culture,” Chase explained with a patient sigh.  “Most people take pride in their culture, you know.”

 

            “My culture is American,” Aneko insisted stubbornly.  “Besides, you wanna talk roots?  I’ve got so many roots in my family tree it’s amazing nobody trips over ‘em.  And if you make one crack about me and tripping, I’ll pound you so hard you’ll be eating through your knees for the rest of your life,” she threatened, tossing him a warning glare.

 

            Chase grinned and closed his mouth.  The girl knew him too well.

 

“Let’s see…” she continued.  She began ticking off points with her fingers.  “There’s some English in me somewhere, from my mother’s father’s side, and I’m pretty sure my great grandfather on my dad’s side had a little Cherokee Indian in him…and I think some German, too.  Or was it Swiss?” 

“I dunno.  Sharp cheddar, maybe?Chase interrupted with a smirk.  He grinned at the exasperated glare she threw at him.  “Okay okay.  Bad pun,” he conceded, holding up his hands.

 

Anyway,” she huffed, “then there’s my great grandmother, who emigrated from Ireland…she was on my mom’s dad’s side, too.  Then there was…”

 

            “I get it, I get it,” Chase interrupted with a chuckle.  “You are the proverbial soup-pot of gene splicing.”

 

            “Chase!  That’s gross!Aneko protested with a laugh.  “But yeah, you’re right.  Wouldn’t shock me in the least if I found out I had ancestors from Africa.”

 

            “So…Chase began innocently, “which of those ancestors is the one who left you the nasty temper?”  He laughed at her outraged yelp and dexterously caught the ball he knew she’d throw at him, almost without even looking at it.  His reflexes were amazingly quick; it was as though he could sense things coming at him before they were even there.  It was a skill that Aneko had always secretly envied, along with the inherent grace and regal poise that seemed to ooze from every pore in his body.  She herself was more than a bit of a klutz; to be as graceful in movement as Chase was something about which she could only dream.  Her state of grace was managing to move from one end of a room to the other without tripping over stray carpet lint.

 

            Aneko sighed and sat up, once again glancing unhappily out the window.  “I guess I’d better head home,” she grumbled.  “It’s getting late and I’m not supposed to let Jonah alone in the house.  He’s bound to be back from soccer practice by now since it’s raining.”

 

            Chase looked at her in concern.  “Wait a moment ‘till I find my keys,” he stated.  “I’ll drive you over.”

 

            Aneko laughed.  “Good grief, Chase, I only live two minutes away!” she replied.  “It’ll take longer for you to drive me since you have to go around Tree Island and I only have to go through it.”  Tree Island was the name they’d long ago dubbed the narrow strip of forest that separated their properties, and a weather-beaten path gave testament to the many times they’d traveled back and forth through that strip to visit each other.

 

            “I know, but I don’t want you running around in this weather.  It’s dangerous out there,” Chase insisted as he began searching through his pockets for his car keys.  “Now where did I put those things…?” he mumbled, picking up a pair of dirty jeans lying on the floor next to his hamper.

 

            Aneko wrinkled her nose.  “And exactly how long have those been there?” she questioned teasingly, waiting for his retort.  When none was forthcoming, she pursed her lips, then added slyly, “Well, they haven’t gotten up to walk around on their own yet, so it couldn’t have been too long since you threw them there…”  When he still didn’t answer she rolled her eyes in disgust.  “You know, ever since we became seniors, you’ve just been no fun anymore,” she complained.

 

            “Or maybe I’m just attempting to teach you how a mature person reacts to insults,” he retorted; his voice came out slightly muffled, as his entire head was now under the bed.  Aneko smirked and gave his backside a tap with her foot.  Then, standing up abruptly (and ignoring his pained grunt, since his back happened to be under her feet), she snatched Chase’s beat-up umbrella from the corner of the room, her own stuffed-to-overflowing backpack from the bed, and headed to the door.

 

            “Well, you keep right on looking for the lost treasure, although I really doubt it’s in the Twilight Zone there, and while you’re doing that, I‘m heading on home to make sure Baby Brother hasn’t blown up the house by now.  Ciao!” she called out, hurriedly leaving the room before he could protest.

 

            Chase popped his head out from under the bed, scowling at his bedroom door as it closed loudly behind her.  Geez!  That girl is so stubborn,” he grumbled to himself while peering out his window.  Sure enough, not a moment later did he see the top of a red umbrella bobbing toward the strip of woodland that separated his large yard from that of his best friend, her mop of chocolate brown hair whipping around beneath it in the wind.  He frowned in concern as the sky growled, wondering if he should go after her, just to make sure she made it home safely.  He could just grab his…

 

            His thought stuttered to a halt, and his scowl deepened.  “Hey!” he shouted indignantly through the window.  “That’s my umbrella!”

 

            As though she’d heard him, Aneko turned around suddenly, strands of dark hair blowing in shocking contrast against her porcelain cheeks, and grinned up at the window, waggling her fingers and making a face at him, before turning back around again to continue on her way home.  Chase just sighed and shook his head, unable to keep an answering grin from spreading across his face.  He hoped, not for the first time, that his best friend would never change.

 

~~~{~@  ~~~{~@  ~~~{~@

 

            Aneko stubbornly clung to the umbrella handle as the wind threatened to tear it from her grasp yet again, grumbling as the rain blew in stinging sheets against her unprotected skin.  She was beginning to rethink the wisdom of turning down a ride in Chase’s car as the sky flashed and thunder rumbled ominously overhead.  She didn’t fancy getting turned into Kentucky Fried Aneko by a stray lightning bolt.  “So of course you choose to take a shortcut through a freaking forest,” she muttered.  “Real brilliant plan there, Einstein.  No wonder Chase worries about your health so much.”

 

            The sky flashed again, causing her to jump and look up.  This early in the spring, the trees had hardly begun to bloom, and she could see the roiling sky looming over her head, colored a pale, sickly-looking green.  She blinked.  “Okay.  Now that is just downright freaky,” she muttered, shuddering as what seemed like yet another bucket of icy water managed to find its way down the back of her shirt (of course she’d left her jacket at Chase’s house…).  The umbrella, she suddenly noticed, had turned completely inside-out, and was therefore pretty much useless.  She scowled at the thing.  It was practically as old as the dinosaurs; no wonder it gave out on her!  It had been doing that for years.  Well, she knew exactly what she was getting Chase for his birthday this year.  The sky flashed again, followed by a crack of thunder that nearly split her eardrums.  Throwing dignity to the wind, Aneko let loose with a loud shriek.  Think later.  Walk faster, you dolt! she commanded herself, turning her fast walk into a slow jog.

 

            Of course that was exactly when her body decided that she was long overdue for a klutz attack. 

 

Before she’d taken more than five steps, her foot unerringly managed to find what was probably the only tree root sticking out of the entire length of the well-worn path stretching between their two homes.  With a startled squawk, Aneko found herself sprawling face-first into the wet dirt.  She lay there for a full minute, spitting out words that would have made her proper, Japanese grandmother die in scandalized horror (if she hadn’t already died, of course), as the rain soaked the parts of her back that weren’t covered by her pack, and the muddy earth soaked her front.  Forget my temper!” she finally screamed at nobody in particular as she struggled to her knees.  “Which one of my bloody ancestors gave me two left feet?!

 

She growled out more profanities as she struggled to said feet, gripping a slimy-wet tree branch for support.  She dimly wondered if the Discman and the brand-new cell phone she had stuffed into the side pocket of her pack had survived the soaking, and then a sudden roaring drowned out all other thought as she raised horror-filled eyes to the green sky above.

 

She knew it was coming.  A sixth sense told her that what was about to happen would not be good in any way, shape, or form.  But it didn’t tell her soon enough, and even as she was hastily yanking her hand away from the slippery wet tree, a brilliant flash lit the entire landscape, like a camera flashing in slow-motion. 

 

Like everything flashing in slow motion.

 

She felt her entire body spasm erratically, a part of her mind dully thinking that she probably looked a bit like a marionette puppet with its strings being cut.  And then, she was filled with a strange, hot tingling that was a surprisingly pleasant sensation for being what was probably several million volts of pure electricity racing through her entire body.  It isn’t as painful as I thought it would be, she thought hazily, even as the world around her turned white.

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