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| September 14, 2003: Article #3 Grindelwald: Dark Lord Again? |
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| Of all the feared wizards of our age, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is undoubtedly the most prominent. His predecessor, however, was almost equally as frightening. The Dark wizard Grindelwald is considered to be one of the worst wizards of the century. He instilled fear into every witch and wizard alive during the early 1940�s. Grindelwald was defeated in 1945 by Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore and has long since died. BUT HAS HE? The Quibbler Online has recently received exclusive information about the supposedly dead Grindelwald. The witness described to us (as best she could) her horrific story. Lupana Briggs of London had an unfortunate run-in with the Dark wizard just weeks ago while flying home from her work as a maintenance engineer for the Knight Bus. Family members claim Lupana was crying "He�s back! He�s back! Oh my god, he�s back!" From the information extracted from Lupana by family members, friends, and St. Mungo's officials, it seems that Grindelwald is indeed alive and more fearsome and vengeful than ever. According to Briggs, Grindelwald is breeding a new species of magical beast. The creature is said to be a mix between a demiguise and a dementor. The demiguise in this so-called "dementiguise" allows it to become invisible, thus being able to sneak up on its prey undetected. The dementor half of the creature attacks the victim�s mind, causing them, not to relive horrible memories like normal dementors do, but to become permanently insane. According to Salamander Scamander (son of Newt Scamander, author of "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them"), "the demiguise half of the dementiguise lessens the intensity of the mind attack, but causes it to be permanent." Evidently, the mind attack affects the victim�s sense of reality. The Quibbler Online tried to interview Ms. Briggs, and here�s what we got: TQO- Hello, Lupana. I'm going to ask you a few questions, okay? Okay. What did Grindelwald look like? Briggs- Herman the Hippogriff has a periwinkle talon! TQO- Erm, okay. Do you know where you were when you were attacked? Briggs- Ouch! My boggart hurts! TQO- Oh. I�m sorry. How did it feel to be attacked by the dementiguise? Briggs- Have you ever heard of the Phantom Muggle Zoologist of Doom in Wiley, Texas? Green composition books are my favorite. TQO- Nope, never heard of the Phantom Muggle of-um, yeah. Ok, one more question, Lupana, before we let you get back to your- er- painting of a one legged blue kneazle with a Chudley Cannons cap. Yes. So, how do you feel about Grindelwald�s return? Do you think that he will begin a second reign of fear? Briggs- Cast. Credits. Crew. Soundtrack. TQO- Uhm, thank you, Lupana. That was very-er- englightening. Have fun with your painting. As you can see, Grindelwald�s new species of magical beast is a threat to all wizards and muggles. We here at The Quibbler Online, having seen the unfortunate Ms. Briggs in person, advise the magical community to stay vigilant and watch for any signs of foul play. -Sila Maize, TQO (Thanks to Midget for the edit.) |
| Note: For more information on dementors and demiguises, consult your copy of "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them." If you don't have it yet, get it! |