Title: Words mean nothing 4/?

Author: quew

Disclaimer: See previous sections.

Rating: R?

Notes: urrrrrrrrrrr.

#

Claudia led B'Elanna to a dimly lit changing area and gave her clothes she was told were hers - jeans, a plain shirt and a tight fitting leather jacket. Mindful of the other woman's idle eyes on her, she slipped out of her uniform.

'Where'd you get that?' Claudia asked, fingering the material as B'Elanna changed.

'I…woke up in it. I'm not sure where it came from,' the white lie came easily from her lips as she tried to change as quickly as possible.

'Hmmm. By the way, how much do you remember?'

B'Elanna did up her new jeans and tried to look frustrated. It wasn't hard, and the words were nearly true. 'Not as much as I'd like.'

Claudia nodded, once. 'It's possible whatever accident gave you those…scars muddled your memories somewhat.'

'Count on it,' B'Elanna muttered under her breath.

'What was that?'

'Oh…I said yeah. It's all really messed up,' B'Elanna's eyes narrowed. 'I wish, I just fucking wish, I knew what was going on.'

'What do you mean? You know what's going on,' Claudia was eyeing her up and down with an unfathomable expression, and she did up her shirt quickly.

'I meant…the time after the accident is a little unclear.'

'I think we'll make you an appointment with the Doc, and then…Owen…okay?' The way she said, B'Elanna knew she was not supposed to like it.

'Owen?'

'I think you need it, and if I have to I'll order you there.' Claudia spoke in a commanding tone, but it fell away after a second. 'Please?'

'Whatever,' B'Elanna sighed. It wasn't as if she even knew who Owen was.

#

She was led through the confusing maze of a building, and she started to repeat the words /it's okay, soon you'll be out of here, just keep moving/ to herself, resisting the urge to run out of the building as fast as she could. It became her mantra, as it seemed at every turn there was something holding them up.

Uniforms were prevalent in the building, and B'Elanna was almost sure it was some sort of police station. They stopped by little rooms with desks behind wire mesh, and B'Elanna got lots of items she assumed were hers. She packed them all into a large black hold-all she'd acquired somewhere along the line and continued to follow the other woman out of the building. She couldn't help but notice that Claudia kept glancing at her now covered forehead - covered since they'd found her a police style cap - and a black look would appear in her eyes. Then she would blink and it would be gone.

Men and women she didn't know stopped to talk to her, and she muddled through the conversations as best she could, trying hard not to snap at them. For all she knew, the her that they knew was a pushover. Fortunately, Claudia helped her out, explaining to everyone that she was just tired and in shock. Before B'Elanna knew it, they were outside, and she squinted at the overcast sky and then cast curios looks about her. The buildings around her were all at least three stories high, and the style rang a huge bell in her head, but she just couldn't put her finger on what was so familiar.

Claudia led her to an underground space, filled with vehicles…B'Elanna looked around, eyes wide, as all of them appeared ancient to her eyes.

They reached one such vehicle, and B'Elanna looked at it, giving it the once over as her professional Engineer side came out. It was sleek and a deep midnight blue, low to the ground. Claudia smiled as she unlocked it, seeing the look on B'Elanna's face.

'I'm still not selling it to you,' she said, motioning B'Elanna inside.

So we've had this conversation before? B'Elanna thought, sliding into the seat and hearing a satisfying creak from the leather upholstery, cool against her warm skin.

'I'd love to get my hands on this,' She murmured, running her fingers along the dash. And the weird thing was, it was true. She wanted to get into the guts of the car and understand everything about it. B'Elanna suddenly understood Tom's obsession with his holo-programmes; the car radiated a feel of power and confidence.

'What did I just say?' Claudia chuckled. Then they were off.

After a few moments, the sensation of travelling so close to the ground, and so fast, became exhilarating despite B'Elanna's best efforts not to enjoy it. It felt like flying a shuttle close to a planets' surface with the inertial dampeners turned off, and she loved it.

She wondered if she - or rather, her other self - had one of these machines parked beside her quarte…beside her home. B'Elanna was suddenly impatient to find out, wanting something to take her mind off her predicament. She'd already realised subconsciously that the level of technology here would make it almost impossibly difficult to contact Voyager - not that that had stopped her before - and the task made even worse by the fact she did not even know where the ship was in relation to herself. She wanted a distraction.

'We're here,' Claudia said, shutting off the engine. 'Do you want me to come in? I could-'

'No.' B'Elanna opened the passenger door and looked back. 'I'm sorry, I am, but I just…I just need some time alone…okay? Need to get settled in.'

Claudia smiled, 'You were always so independent…even when we lived together, you were always off on your own.'

B'Elanna, who'd been just stepping out of the car, tripped over her own feet and landed face first on the concrete. '…!' She managed, picking up her spilled bag.

'Are you okay?' Claudia called.

'I'm fine!' B'Elanna snapped. This was just too much. Too much information.

As overwhelmed as she was, she didn't have the time or the patience to continue the charade. She just looked back and said. 'I'm fine.'

'I'll ring you later,' Claudia said.

B'Elanna nodded once and then headed toward the building she assumed she lived in. It must have been the right one, because a few moments later, she heard Claudia gun the engine and drive away.

Finally, for the first time, she was alone. She wandered up to the doors to the apartment building, which was surrounded by other similar looking buildings and trees on a slight hill. For a moment, she stood in front of them, wondering why they weren't opening, and then she realised where she was. Feeling foolish, and extremely frustrated, she pushed the heavy door open and it was then that she realised she didn't actually know where she lived.

I have no place here. The thought blind sided her and almost made her stumble as she strode toward the stairs, afraid she'd make another mistake if she tried to use the primitive lifts, and then forgot they weren't voice activated or something. I don't belong here.

She blocked the thoughts out, and then another struck. Emptying out the bag of her belongings on the stairs, she found a set of keys with a number on the key-chain. '312'.

She did have a place. And it was apartment 312. It was a start, and though it wasn't much, B'Elanna felt a little better. At least she had somewhere to go.

She found it without much difficulty, and after wrestling with the antiquated locking systems for a moment, she was in. The place was a mess, and for a moment she thought it had been ransacked, but then she realised the devastation was self-inflicted.

Old habits die hard, apparently, she mused as she picked her way across the floor of the living room. The decor was sparse yet tasteful, and B'Elanna found that she liked it. Comfortable, well-used furniture was carefully placed, and then covered with an assortment of clothes, books, magazines and…just stuff.

She opened doors as she passed, and found a bedroom - surprisingly neat - a kitchenette, a bathroom and a study. The last room on her tour made her eyes widen, and she stepped in. Definitely not a pushover.

Weights, weapons, equipment and a punch bag were well spaced in a room that was almost nothing more than windows and unpolished floorboards. The only other items in the room were an old bookcase and a closet. A few pictures were hanging here and there, and she pulled one off the wall.

Her eyes went even wider as she stared back at herself, shocked brown eyes meeting confident ones. It was her, only without the ridges, in some sort of ceremonial blue uniform with nine other people. They were obviously posing, and the plaque at their feet read 'Unit Seven.' She saw Claudia at the front, sitting ramrod straight, and she sighed.

She picked up another picture and saw herself in full military riot gear, holding an old projectile weapon. She looked like she'd been snapped in mid-movement, running toward an unfocused disturbance further down the street, and the inscription on the frame read 'The Street Riots.'

As she went over and examined a third picture - a picture of the police station - her mind wandered back to the blonde woman, locked in that cell. Anna…what's going to happen to you? What's going on here? And where do I fit in?

Her fists clenched, and before she knew it she'd dropped the picture and was taking out all her frustration on the punch-bag, making it swing violently from its chain. She kept going until her knuckles hurt and sweat beaded her forehead, her breath coming in short pants that were almost angry grunts. She slumped to the ground on her knees, her head in her hands.

It had been such a long, weird day, and she just didn't know how to deal with it. Give her thirty seconds to repair a core breach, fine; tell her to keep the ship from ripping itself apart for another minute, great. Those things she knew. What she didn't know was how to perform the same trick on herself. She wanted to go home.

No. A voice in her mind said, sudden and strong. I'm not going to give up. I've been through worse. I will NOT give up. I will find a way.

Buoyed by that thought, she regained her breath and stood, giving the 'bag one last tap as she headed for the door. Just then, her stomach reminded her that it had been god knows how long since she'd last eaten, and she headed for the kitchen.

As she reached it, a wave of dizziness swept over her, making her stumble into the doorframe. 'Wha…?' She managed, before the pain came. It knocked her to her knees immediately, despite her high tolerance, and she opened her mouth in a silent scream as it felt like she was being ripped apart.

'B'E…c…ou…r…us?' The voice was like a whisper, and B'Elanna tried to answer but couldn't, the pain constricting her throat so badly she could not speak. Captain?!

'W..'r…t…ge…u…B…!' Despite her best efforts to answer she couldn't. A few tears began to roll from her eyes, screwed tightly shut, as the pain increased. The last thing she heard before she blacked out was 'St..! Sh…n…in…to…ke…it!'

#

When she came to, she was lying on the cold kitchen floor in darkness. Her body shook as she tried to stand and failed, slumping back to the ground. The voice…could it really have been the captain? But how? Never mind. It didn't matter. What mattered was that they were searching for her, looking for her. Not even the pain mattered as long as they found her.

Groaning, she heaved herself upright using one of the kitchen cabinets…

…and found herself looking down the barrel of a gun.

Following it along its length, she saw a man clad all in black, with a ski-mask over his face. 'Where's Anna?' He growled, and she realised with a start that she knew that voice.

I should be getting used to this by now, A cynical voice said in the back of her mind, but her jaw still fell open.

'Where is she?' He said, poking her with the gun. She pushed it away angrily and got a smack in the face from the cold steel. 'Where!'

'She's…in the jail.' B'Elanna growled, wiping her lip where blood had started to flow.

Before he could respond, a shrill ringing sounded right next to them. Trying to hide the fact that she'd jumped out of her skin when it'd started, B'Elanna looked around for its source.

'Don't answer it,' The man said.

Resisting the urge to lunge forward, B'Elanna nodded once. Soon, the ringing gave way to a strange beeping, and then B'Elanna heard her own voice coming from somewhere.

'/Hey, it's me. Leave a message./'

'/Are you in?/' Claudia's voice rang out across the dark kitchen, and B'Elanna heard the man breath in sharply. '/You're probably in the shower. I'll call back./'

Everything was silent for a second, and then a tone rang out. When that had finished, the man turned his attention back to B'Elanna.

'Anna's caught because of you,' He said harshly. 'Give me access to get her out, and I'll leave right now and let you live. All I want is your key-card.'

Things began to fall together in B'Elanna's mind. If Janeway was working to get her back, that meant the Captain knew where she was, and had some clue of how to do it, two things B'Elanna was sadly lacking. It looked like it was just a question of waiting.

'No.' She said.

He snarled and lifted the weapon to his shoulder, but she held up her hand.

'I'll help you.'

#

End part 4