Title: An Unusual Holiday

Author: quew

Disclaimers: Paramount owns them all, honest guv. I own a Star Trek captains
clock which has stopped telling the time due to a flat battery and a packet
of Milkybar Buttons, which I had to eat after being upset by the mere mention
of coffee flavoured Revells *grimaces* (btw, is it revels or revells?)

Rating: PG-13

Notes: This is dedicated to our distinguished captain, who I suspect has been
traumatized due to too many run-ins with those coffee flavoured revels, and a
hyperactive Klingon muse. Hope this raises a giggle, or at least a little
smile? *s* Because, I should warn you Cap'n, you're responsible for my sugar
hyperactivity right now…I was so upset for you and your Revells (Yuck! Yuck!)
that I…er…accidentally ate rather a lot of M&M's as well, in addition to the
Buttons I had earlier. This was /supposed/ to be a small dialogue piece, but
it's turned out a little differently that I imagined *G* ;) 
#

B'Elanna was roused by the insistent ringing of her door chime, pulling her
from a comfortable sleep and urging her to drag her tired body from her warm
bed, across her cold quarters and to the offending portal.

'What?' She growled before the doors had fully opened. 'What, what, what?!
Who the hell is-'

She stopped dead, her jaw dropping open and her eyes wide.

'Trick or Treat,' Seven said in her Borg monotone.

B'Elanna didn't answer, her eyes brown pools of disbelief…/this has to be a
dream…this is all a dream…I'm asleep…this isn't happening./

'Trick or Treat, Lieutenant,' Seven repeated, a tiny hint of frustration
creeping into her flat voice.

'Seven,' B'Elanna choked, dragging her gaze up from the ex-drones chest area.
'You…do you…you're…oh my…' She started to fan herself desperately as her
face flushed a deep red. 'Do you know you're /Naked/?????' She cried
eventually, suddenly remembering herself and closing her eyes.

Seven looked down at her unclothed body, then back at the engineer, who'd
begun to pant somewhat. 'Yes, I believe I am aware of my state of undress,'
Seven said coolly.

B'Elanna slapped her hands across her eyes so hard she stumbled back a step
as the urge to peek got almost too hard to resist. She swallowed hard and
then said, 'Why?' In a high, strangled voice most unlike the proud
half-Klingon.

Seven sighed heavily and B'Elanna's mind went haywire imagining which parts
of the blonde were going up and down with that sigh. 'I was forced to take
part in this pointless endeavour by the Captain. She said I must partake of
human holidays and their customs.'

'And she made you go naked?'

'No, that was my own decision. I could not decide on a costume, and since I
had heard that the point of the costume was to shock…'

'You decided to go naked.'

'Yes.'

'You're naked.'

'Yes.'

'Really, really naked.'

'Yes. You seem to have trouble grasping this concept, Lieutenant. Would you
like to take another look to confirm?'

'Well, okay, just a litt- I mean, no!'

'I…understand,' Seven said. 'Trick or treat.'

It took a few moments for B'Elanna's brain to catch up with her ears. 'You're
trick or treating?'

'Yes,' Seven ground out, annoyed with B'Elanna's penchant for repetition. 'So
far I have collected three candy bars, several oranges and seventeen offers
of 'Hot Monkey Sex'. However, I do not understand what overheated primate
copulation has to do with the traditional Halloween holiday. I shall research
this phrase when I have finished trick or treating. Perhaps it is some sort
of primitive spectator sport, like cock fighting. Lieutenant, are you
alright?'

B'Elanna regained her breath, having managed to turn her shocked laughter
into a frantic coughing fit at the last minute. 'Fine,' she wheezed, 'Fine.
Let me see if I have some candy or something. Come in.'

Even with her eyes shut, B'Elanna could sense Seven's hesitation, and she
waved her in. She heard the door close and backed away, keeping her eyes shut
even as she caught the back of her knees on the couch and went head over
heels backwards, flinging her arms and legs out as she went.

'Ooofff!' She gasped, hitting the edge of her coffee table with a jolt that
knocked most of the wind out of her.

'Lieutenant!' Seven called, at her side almost before she'd stopped falling.

Reflexively, B'Elanna's eyes had popped open as she hit the table, and the
first thing that came into focus was a pendulous breast heading toward her as
Seven crouched next to her, reaching out to help.

With a squeal, she shut her eyes and froze up, trying to ignore her Klingon
side as Seven helped her upright. In some ways, having her eyes shut made it
worse…was the skin brushing up against her arm part of Sevens' torso, an arm
or…something else?

With an agility that she didn't know she had possessed, she jumped out of
Sevens helping hands, fell over the coffee table again, leapt upright,
tripped over her armchair, smacked into the wall, rolled backwards, found her
feet, stumbled into a lamp, fell over the back of the sofa and stopped in
roughly the same position she'd started in, all with her eyes shut.

Once again, Seven helped her upright, but once the lieutenant was on her
feet, Seven turned to leave.

'I am sorry to have caused you such discomfort,' the ex-drone said, heading
for the door. 'I didn't realize that my 'costume' would have such an adverse
affect on your co-ordination and motor skills.'

'Wha-?' B'Elanna managed, her brain still several steps behind the
conversation and still dazed from her tumble. 'But you haven't had your candy
yet,' she said, confused.

'I believe I shall manage without a glucose product at this time,
Lieutenant,' Seven said.

'Wait!' B'Elanna said, shaking her head to clear it and bring herself up to
speed. Something about the ex-drones' manner putting her on edge even with
her eyes closed. For once, she felt the unfamiliar fire of concern burning in
her stomach, making her nervous and unsure. 'Won't you put some clothes on?
Are you seriously ok with people seeing you naked?'

'I am fine with people seeing me unclothed,' Seven replied sharply. 'But they
are not.'

'I don't…' B'Elanna swallowed, fighting her urge not to help the arrogant
blonde. 'I don't understand.'

'Your reaction, B'Elanna, is typical of many of the crew.'

'Well, yeah,' the brunette replied, slightly surprised. 'It's not polite to
stare at someone who's unclothed without permission.'

'I would have thought permission would have been inherent in the act,' Seven
countered. 'If I did not mean for people to look, I would have worn clothes.'


'Why didn't you? I mean, you could've worn anything, anything at all, even a
sheet over your head with holes cut out for eyes, and you chose to go naked.
Why?'

'Why I choose to do such things is none of your concern,' Seven said, her
voice loud and arrogant.

B'Elanna took a chance and opened her eyes as she heard the door swish open,
running across the room and grabbing the blondes elbow before she could
leave. Making sure to keep her gaze on Seven's face, B'Elanna pulled her back
enough for the doors to shut. For a moment, she truly thought Seven would
struggle as a cloud of emotion passed over the usually un-expressive features
of the other woman, but Seven allowed the contact and the pull.

'Why, Seven,' B'Elanna repeated softly.

Seven's mask came back suddenly, her eyes hard and her mouth a thin line of
discontent. 'I had deduced that Halloween was a holiday where people were to
indulge in as many frightening experiences as possible. I could not find a
costume that I deemed frightening enough, so I decided that since most
crewmembers find the Borg repulsive and frightening, I would show them my…
myself.'

For a moment, B'Elanna was swamped with pity and compassion, but she did not
let it show. She knew that she and Seven were too similar, and that pity
would not go down well with the ex-drone. Searching for a different tack to
address the issue and realizing she didn't know squat about counselling or
diplomacy, she decided to go balls out and just do it her own way.

She took a step back and held Seven at arms length, letting her eyes go very
obviously and determinedly from top to bottom and back again.

'I'm sorry, Seven,' she said, struggling to keep her eyes focused on Seven's
own and not anything further down. 'But that isn't why people reacted to you
so strangely. You're hot.'

'I am…hot? I beg to differ, Lieutenant, my temperature is perfectly
reasonable.'

'That's not what I meant, Seven,' B'Elanna said, desperately trying not to
look as flustered and distracted by the ex-drones' body as she felt. Licking
dry lips, she continued. 'I meant that when crewmembers look at you, they are
not seeing a reminder of the Borg - they are seeing two very nice breasts, a
fine pair of legs and a very attractive-'

'I believe I get the idea, lieutenant,' Seven said, and B'Elanna noted with
glee that Seven was in the throes of a full body blush.

Hiding a toothy grin and enjoying herself more every minute, B'Elanna tried
again. 'Do you, Seven? Or do you perhaps think I'm saying this just to make
you feel better?'

'I am…unsure as to your motives,' Seven admitted. 'You are not a person I can
conceivably see helping me.'

B'Elanna nodded. 'But I am, because it's true, and no-one with a body like
yours deserves to be ashamed of it.'

'I do not understand.'

'You are, aren't you? You're ashamed of what people see when they look at
you,' B'Elanna said, seeing the truth in Sevens' face and wondering how she
could have missed it before. 'You have nothing to be ashamed of.'

'You don't believe that.'

'You have the best legs that I've ever seen, do you know that? Well, no I
guess not, because I never told you, but still…' B'Elanna trailed off as
Seven touched a small implant that sat on the skin of her upper thigh.
B'Elanna shook her head. 'No, that doesn't bother me. It's just…a part of you…like these,' she picked up Seven's hand and drew it down her ridges, ignoring
the feeling that her skin was on fire after Sevens' touch had passed, 'are a
part of me. It took a long time for me to accept that.'

'You…are right,' Seven whispered, raising her hand and tracing the ridges of
her own accord. 'And I…'

'Went round half the ship naked?' B'Elanna asked, humour colouring her tone
slightly.

'Yes,' Seven agreed, lowering her hand. Immediately B'Elanna missed the
contact. 'I do not believe I will…'live this down' tomorrow.'

'It can't be that bad,' B'Elanna said, lying through her teeth - she knew as
well as Seven did what the rumour mill of Voyager could do.

'Mr Paris will make it that bad…when he regains consciousness. He passed out
when I appeared on his doorstep naked, asking for candy.'

For a moment, B'Elanna could think of nothing to say, and then of it's own
violation a burst of laughter erupted from her, making her squeeze her eyes
shut as she imagined Tom's face.

She laughed for a good minute, only to open her eyes and find Seven bent
double, laughing herself. That was enough to set B'Elanna off again, and they
shared a moment of humour, drawing deep breaths and avoiding eye contact lest
they should start again.

'C'mon,' B'Elanna said suddenly, grabbing the blondes' hand. She led her over
to the replicator and eyed her up and down quickly, sizing her up. She turned
and started tapping commands into the replicator, mumbling as she did so.
'You know, Seven, I can't help thinking you've missed the point here…
Halloween can be scary, sure, but it can also be fun…'

'Fun…?' Seven echoed, pulling a face that was part disdain, part trepidation.
'Fun is irrelevant.'

'Uh uh,' B'Elanna admonished. 'We have a saying. 'Don't knock it till you've
tried it.' I think you should try it.' She turned, grinning, and held out an
object to Seven.

Hesitantly, Seven reached out and took the replicated object, looking at
B'Elanna, whose grin was growing by the minute. 'I do not think I wish to
partake in this activity,' she said, returning to her old stance and her old
arrogance to hide her anxiety.

B'Elanna grinned. 'Oh, come on Seven, loosen up. I tell you what; just try
this, please? Sometimes all adults need a chance to be a kid again. I'll…I'll…
' B'Elanna searched desperately for an incentive. 'I'll cook you dinner when
we get back? You must be hungry, what with all that naked trick or treating
you've been doing.'

'I do not require nutr…' Seven paused, and then nodded almost imperceptibly.

#

Captain Janeway groaned as the door chime roused her from her deliciously
coffee flavoured dreams and into the cold, dark reality of her quarters.

'Lights,' she groaned, and when they hummed into life she pulled herself out
of bed and toward the door. 'This had better be good,' she murmured, 'Or I am
going to kick some serious ass, Starfleet be damned.' Raising her voice, she
called for the doors to open and then stood there, mouth open and eyes agog,
as B'Elanna and Seven giggled at each other and made what they thought were
perfectly normal ghost movements, but since neither of them had ever seen a
ghost, they made do with wiggly arms and torsos and the occasional,
'WooooooooOOOOooooooo!'

'Trick or Treat!' Seven said eventually, remembering they were there for a
reason.

'Trick…or…wha-?' Janeway said, watching as her Chief of Engineering and her
Astrometrics officer cavorted around the corridor, chasing each other and
making ghost noises as they ran around with the white sheets on their heads
with big, badly drawn smiley faces and two different sized, badly cut holes
for eyes.

'Treat!' B'Elanna laughed as Seven tried to discreetly get her attention.

'Oh?' Janeway's eyebrows tried to migrate to the back of her head, but
finding they didn't have the right passports they had to make do with a short
holiday in her hairline. She searched her memory for the right diplomatic
protocol for the situation and ended up saying, 'You want candy?'

'Or fruit,' Seven said, still tugging on B'Elanna's arm for her attention,
'although offers of 'Hot Monkey Sex' will be politely declined.' Captain
Janeway swayed and gasped, blinking furiously at the mention of hot monkey
sex. Seven finally succeeded in getting the engineers attention, turning to
the shorter woman and saying, 'B'Elanna, these costumes are functional for
their purpose, but because am I naked and because of the way they are
fastened, I am experiencing uncomfortable friction on my-'

Despite her extreme amusement at the situation, B'Elanna had enough sense to
launch into another diplomatically placed coughing fit as Janeway went pale,
staring at her ex-drone crewmember.

'N-n-n-n-n-n-'

'Naked?' B'Elanna helpfully supplied, unable to stop herself.

Janeway nodded jerkily and opened her mouth to speak, but she seemed unable
to create a coherent sentence, little keening noises escaping from her throat
as she swayed as if caught in a breeze. 

'I think you're right, B'Elanna,' Seven said, glancing at the Captain.
'Perhaps I did not need to be unclothed to shock people.'

Captain Janeway stared at Seven and then fainted gently, the word 'naked'
still on her lips.

B'Elanna grabbed Seven's hand and they started down the corridor, laughing,
ready to trick or treat someone else.

The End