<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "I found my way back to IHQ. I
am now a happy Hauler."
<Constructicons> Scrapper says, "Woo! I nominate Long Haul as our
official Road Map Reader."
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "Find. I'll read the road maps,
you can carry the luggage."
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "Fine, even."
<Constructicons> Scrapper says, "...note to self: design luggage
that carries itself. And attacks on command."
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "With hundreds of feet?"
<Constructicons> Scrapper glances around shiftily. "Possibly,
possibly."
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "Use Autobot feet for it!"
<Constructicons> Scrapper says, "Brilliant! Wait, no, that's a
bad idea, because, uh, look, a shiny thing!" He tosses a hexnut off in
the other direction and runs away with the idea the other way.
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "You seem to have me confused
with Scavenger..."
<Constructicons> Scrapper says, "Curses."
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "You may want to consider
waiting until we've got some of the older hand Structies on to taunt
Omega for the first time, anyways."
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "Although that log was much
amusing."
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "'But weren't we built on
Earth?' 'I don't know. I can't ever keep it straight.'"
<Constructicons> Scrapper says, "Yeah, waiting is probably a good
idea. And the Shockwave origin only makes things more confusing!"
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "Shockwave origin?"
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "You know, our whole background
mess kind of reminds me of the way DC comics handles the Joker. He's
got, like, half a dozen origin stories, and finally, rather then
straightening it up, they just had Joker comment out loud about how he
likes having multipe choice backgrounds, because it makes life more
interesting."
<Constructicons> Scrapper says, "Why, Shockwave is our dear old
dad! In the comics. And Optimus Prime is our mom."
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "Oh, yeah! I 'member!"
<Constructicons> Scrapper says, "Mother never liked us much... I
don't understand why. I made her that lovely table for Mother's Day.
Wait no, I made her into a table. Scratch that."
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "Yeah, sorry about that. The
scratches on the table, that is. I didn't realize it was Mom when I
propped my feet up on it."
<Constructicons> Scrapper says, "What? I thought Bonecrusher did
that!"
<Constructicons> Long Haul flinches. Not that it's easy to tell
with his face. "Damn - I mean - yeah, that's it! Bonecrusher did it!"
<Constructicons> Scrapper squints at Long Haul and then waves a
hand vaguely. "Do try to keep track of yourself, eh?"
<Constructicons> Long Haul glowers a bit. Once more, it's hard to
tell. Finally, he answers, "Oh, yes sir! Brother, sir! Wouldn't want to
forget where I am!"
<Constructicons> Scrapper patpats Long Haul. "And that why we've
got you that map!"
<Constructicons> Long Haul sneers. No, wait. Still no face. Damn!
"I thought it's because you couldn't find your way to a base /you/
built without that femme Seeker's help!"
<Constructicons> Long Haul applies for a face upgrade.
<Constructicons> Scrapper glowers. Meh. GPSes are for wusses. "So
then we can hurt you in the face? Fine by me!"
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "You know... I was just reading
a log that started with Long Haul trying to install a GPS in the
Despoiler, under orders from Scrapper. It amused me, because much was
made about how delicate it was supposed to be and such..."
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "On my ship, my work center
maintains the GPS. Navy GPSes are tough-ass pieces off gear, and I find
the idea that Decepticon GPS systems are less hardy to be amusing."
<Constructicons> Scrapper says, "See? Decepticon GPSes are wussy!"
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "I'm also inclined to wonder
what satellite system they're using... they're probably breaking U.S.
crypto and using that, though. Or the U.S. has kept the codes shut
down. IRL, they did that a couple years ago."
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "United States military controls
all the GPS satellites around Earth, pretty much. Until very recently,
you needed special codes to get totally accurate. If you didn't have
those codes, it fed you back information that had a jitter of a couple
of miles or so, so that even standing still, if you were to look at a
map of where you were reading, you'd jump around."
<Constructicons> Scrapper says, "I knew that, actually."
<Constructicons> Long Haul says, "Only the U.S. Military could
get totally accurate GPS readings. Those codes were disabled a couple
of years ago, though."
<Constructicons> Long Haul finds it amusing. "It also takes at
least three satellites to get a good reading, but the more the better.
Signal to noise ratio should be at least 27 or above for each
satellite, but you want it higher."
<Constructicons> Long Haul is full of useless navigational data.
<Constructicons> Scrapper was right to nominate Long Haul as Map
Reader, then.