QUEER MONTCLAIR: Out in Essex

Post Office Box 1974

Bloomfield, New Jersey 07003

E-Mail: [email protected]

Web: http://www.geocities.com/queermontclair

 

April/May, 2002

 

Dear Friends,

 

So very much has happened since last summer.   Where customarily time seems to fly past, a year ago this time seems to be long gone.   September 11h touched all of our lives, and our community seemed to have a disproportionate – if not uncannily large - share of its heroes, heroines, victims and survivors.  We (that is, the United States) are (is) fighting a war in Afghanistan with another in the Middle East apparently in the offing.  The Roman Catholic Church, responsible for the suffering and deaths of countless generations of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people, is today – true to form - blaming its myriad victims for an outbreak of perversity and  predation in its priesthood.

 

The past year has seen its triumphs and tragedies, so many that the space of time between May of 2001 and today seems more like a decade than just twelve months.

 

Last year at this time, a political campaign in our state had set the unapologetic forces of homophobia, religious extremism and bigotry against ourselves, our community, and all of the progress we have made in achieving equality throughout the last quarter-century.  Happily, not only did our – and our fellow citizens’ – march toward equality remain unimpeded after November 2001, its pace actually hastened. To all appearances, the next “big issue” that we will all face together is the legalization of Domestic Partnerships.  Presently, the political milieu and climate of public opinion is extremely favorable for getting “DP” legislation enacted in New Jersey, and we should all aggressively pursue this important political objective.

 

I’ve no doubt that we will all be hearing much, much more about our rights in this area over the next few months.

 

Let me take this opportunity to wish all of you a happy, healthy and sunshine summer 2002 and Season of Pride.

 

Warm regards,

 

Bill Courson

For Queer Montclair

 

MONTCLAIR AREA LGBT NEWS & EVENTS – APRIL / MAY 2002

 

Rally for Marriage in Montclair – June 9th

Gay youth Beaten at Hillsborough High School

RSVP – Scotch Plains, May 14th

Safe Schools for All: A Dialogue on Gay Issues in Our Schools – MAY 19th
As gays gain acceptance, bias in schools declines

NJOutings Events – May 2002

Gay Day at Six Flags - June 15th
Outbike-NJ Activities
WomenVision Montclair – Alternate Thursdays Montclair
Paul Hennefelds Stamps – On the Web!
NJ 11h Annual Jersey Pride – June 2nd, Asbury Park
Olympias Daughters at Pride Center – May 17th
Alternate Thursdays: Thursday Night Support & Social Group
LGBT 9/11 Survivors Group Forming
 
 
RALLY FOR MARRIAGE in MONTCLAIR
 
The NJ Religious Coalition for the Freedom to Marry, which was launched after February's 
statewide interfaith prayer breakfast, is on the move! Here is the Coalition's announcement 
of their first public rally:
 
FREEDOM TO MARRY:  PEOPLE OF FAITH SUPPORT SAME-SEX COUPLES! Rafter-Raising 
Song, Rousing Sermon, and a Call for Civil Rights!
 
On June 9, clergy & people of faith will come together from across the state and from a diversity 
of religious traditions to stand up for the civil rights of same-sex couples, whose families are harmed 
because they can not legally marry in NJ.  Learn how to ask your congregation for support - joining 
the more than 100 NJ clergy and 30 congregations who have already expressed theirs!  The rally is 
on Sunday, June 9, 2002 at 5:00 p.m, at the Unitarian Church of Montclair, 67 Church Street, Montclair. 
For Directions, please go to:  http://www.uumontcliar.org/
 
Sponsored by: The NJ Religious Coalition for the Freedom to Marry, c/o The Oasis, 973.430.9909 or [email protected]
 
Beating at Hillsborough High SCHOOL: Schools struggle with 
gay bashing 
 
BY JENNIFER DEL MEDICO AND BEV McCARRON 
Star-Ledger Staff Monday, May 13, 2002
Scott Lipich can't remember a school day when he wasn't called names. In class, he said, other students would tell him to shut up because they didn't want to hear his "gay voice."  Words gave way to violence two weeks ago when he was beaten in the Hillsborough High School cafeteria by four boys -- at least one of whom allegedly made comments about his sexuality, a district official said. The attack, in front of 600 students, resulted in a fractured nose and a chipped tooth for the 17-year-old sophomore.   School officials called it a bias crime and said they want the Somerset County Prosecutor's Office to press charges against the attackers. 
For high school students who are gay, or perceived to be, intolerance or outright harassment is a fact of life, according to recent national studies, the National Education Association found earlier this year after it appointed a task force to examine the issue.  News of the Hillsborough incident rippled far beyond the 2,000-student high school, getting the attention of students and school officials throughout New Jersey who were already grappling with homophobia in their hallways and looking for ways to deal with that bias. 
"The belief here is that every student no matter what ... has the right to come to this school," said Frank Digesere, principal of Kearny High School, who is planning a staff training program on sexual orientation sensitivity. "We are not endorsing alternative lifestyles. Just understanding it, that's the goal."  But Mary Kate Cullen, public policy director for the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, said that although some schools seem to be trying to do the right thing, students say the efforts fall short.  "It takes an incident like what happened in Hillsborough to get attention," she said. "That's not what we want to happen."   Hillsborough officials said they tried to intervene, but Scott's parents, John and Lisa Lipich, said they were unhappy with the school's response to at least a dozen complaints. 
"All they ever do is sweep it under the rug," John Lipich said. 
"I'm furious at them -- the vice principals and the principal, my guidance counselor -- they are not there to support me," said Scott, who describes himself as bisexual.   Hillsborough High Principal Doug Poye said all of Scott Lipich's complaints were dealt with and that in many cases, the perpetrators were disciplined. The four students involved in the beating two weeks ago were not involved in any prior harassment reported by Lipich, Poye said.   Today, the Hillsborough Board of Education will hold a closed session to decide an appropriate punishment for the four suspects who have been suspended in connection with Lipich's beating. Poye will let the student body know the outcome of that meeting tomorrow. 
Lipich will not be there because he has been suspended for 10 days for walking out of a meeting with Poye and talking back to him after the attack.   In the last few years, dozens of districts -- Hillsborough included -- have tried to promote tolerance through extracurricular gay/straight alliance clubs. Others mandated teacher training.   About 69 percent of gay and bisexual high school students surveyed nationwide said they felt unsafe at school because of their sexual orientation and about 30 percent of those students skipped class because of it, according to the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network's 2001 National School Climate Survey. 
Of the 1,000 students polled, 84 percent said they frequently heard the comments "faggot" or "dyke" tossed around and 91 percent frequently heard the phrase "that's so gay" used in a derogatory manner.  "Young gays and lesbians continue to be the put-down of choice because we have not arrived as a society at a point where we say, 'This is not okay,'" said Carol Watchler, chairperson of the New Jersey Education Association's Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Caucus. After complaints from parents and students a few years ago that there was a climate of intolerance toward gays at Westfield High School, officials decided to educate faculty and broadened class discussions to include respect for gays. 
"There was no particular incident, but kids were calling each other 'fag,' and 'dyke,' and not doing a lot of thinking as to how other kids might react to this sort of thing," said Peter Horn, an adviser to a Gay-Straight Alliance club formed two years ago. Senior Chris Quackenbush, who joined the group in part, he says, because he believes gays are unfairly discriminated against, said he's noticed a difference.  "Just by existing as a gay- straight alliance and having the community know there is a gay presence and that other students and administrators are supportive of this has done a lot to change the atmosphere," Quackenbush said. 
At South Brunswick High School, administrators brought in a program called "Bridges of Respect," which included student skits, a panel of gay high school and college students and a discussion period.  "When the verbal stuff is never counteracted by people in authority, it's sort of a general permission to move to another level," said NJEA's Watchler, a teacher at South Brunswick High.  Before the beating, Lipich had planned to transfer to the Somerset County Vocational-Technical School. But after a small support rally on school grounds last week and about 100 calls from around the state, most of which were supportive, he said he has decided to stay. 
"It is time I take a stand for me," he said. "I don't have a problem with kids in school. If they have a problem with me, let them leave." 
RSVP at J&J BILLIARDS  8PM MAY 14th
 
RSVP hosts another fun night at J&J Billiards. Whether you're an expert or just a beginner, come out for a
night of pool!

J&J Billiards is conveniently located on Rt.22 West in Scotch Plains, NJ.

See you on May 14th at 8p.m.! Dennis is coordinating--he'll be wearing a red t-shirt under a white shirt. If you don't see him, ask for RSVP at the desk.

 
Safe Schools for All: A Dialogue on Gay Issues in Our Schools  MAY 19th

Date:  Sunday, May 19, 2002 
Time:  3:00pm
S
outh Mountain YMCA, 13 Jefferson Ave., Maplewood. NJ

Please join together for a viewing of the documentary "It's Elementary," followed by a panel discussion and
refreshments. Children are welcome. RSVP for child care or with questions to: [email protected]

As gays gain acceptance, bias in schools declines

By TERRI NEEDHAM and NICHOLAS CLUNN
Staff Writers, Published in the Courier News on May 12, 2002

Before the April 30 assault on a bisexual classmate, Hillsborough High School students were complaining about petty theft,
finding a prom date and the mile-and-a-half weekly run in gym class. It was no surprise, then, that many students were shocked to hear about the assault on Scott Lipich. High school and law enforcement officials believe that the 17-year-old sophomore may have been attacked because of his sexual orientation.

In fact, the assault would have been an anomaly in any Central Jersey high school and runs counter to statistics and trends
regarding bias incidents.

- Ten of Central Jersey's approximately 60 public school districts reported a total of 16 bias incidents during the 2000-01 school year, down from 20 incidents in 12 districts in 1999-2000. The number of bias incidents reported by schools statewide was down 52 percent last year.
- Bias incidents have been declining in Somerset County in recent years. About 10 percent of the 111 reported since January
2000 were based at least in part on sexual orientation. Only one bias incident besides the Hillsborough assault involved juveniles.
- Within the past three years, five Central Jersey high schools have founded clubs that welcome students to discuss their sexual orientation.
- New Jersey is one of only two states that forbids in writing discrimination based on sexual orientation in places
of public accommodation, according to the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network.
- Understanding of minorities, including homosexuals, is being discussed more in schools -- in class, through special programs and in peer mentoring groups.

"I think we've done a better job over the past several years in trying to create an atmosphere of tolerance," said North
Hunterdon-Voorhees Superintendent Charles M. Shaddow. Despite the progress, anti-gay slurs continue to create an uncomfortable atmosphere for students, said Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network Public Policy Director Mary Kate Cullen. According to a study conducted by the Manhattan-based group, 84 percent of homosexual students surveyed reported hearing homophobic remarks such as "faggot" and "dyke" frequently.   "Kids at this age will focus on differences, no matter what they are," said Lisa Brady, principal of Hunterdon Central Regional High School. "It's mostly name-calling. That can happen anywhere."

Educators too often allow students to use such words when expressing dislike, Cullen said. "Most gay students don't want
the word `gay' associated with the word `bad.',"  Research shows that many juveniles who harass homosexuals are not driven by a bias against them, said Norman Mosley, a clinical psychologist in Bernards and Morristown. They often are alleviating boredom, trying to make themselves feel strong or -- in the case of males -- trying to prove their masculinity.

Often, "there's not this deep-seated hatred," Mosley said.

Cullen said teachers and administrators are responsible for creating a comfortable climate for all students and should take
anti-gay slurs as seriously as ethnic and religious ones. She recommends that teachers warn first-time offenders
and present the student with a consequence if the remark is repeated. "The bottom line is that teachers set the tone in
their classrooms," Cullen said. "We want teachers to set that tone around sexual orientation." Hunterdon Central is one school that makes it a priority to train teachers and staff to be sensitive. Everyone from teachers to bus drivers is trained annually on the types of unacceptable behavior. Two years ago, they attended a daylong sensitivity training seminar specifically on gay students.

The North Plainfield school district trains all teachers annually on harassment laws and advises them what to do when they
witness it. They are reminded of their legal responsibility to report it and told that they may not be legally protected by the school if they fail to do so. "You don't just sit and wait for something to happen," said Ben Keiser, North Plainfield's affirmative action officer. "The teachers are trained to intervene in the situation before it gets to a serious point of harassing."

Although local educators agree that derogatory remarks are the most common and persistent type of bias, they say students
generally are becoming more accepting and sensitive. Intolerance usually declines as children move into the higher grades, Brady said.  "Certainly between the time of when I was 16 and today, I think there's been tremendous progress in terms of accepting people different from us and also trying to understand people that are different from us," said Bound Brook High School Principal David Clauser.

Shaddow said children model others' behavior, and as society and media have become more sensitive, students have followed suit.  Said Jim Magnatta, Hillsborough High School's supervisor of health and physical education: "In today's society, with the
bombardment that these kids get with movies and TV, they are pretty much aware of what is happening a lot more so than 20 years ago."

Mike Gleason, North Hunterdon High School's supervisor of health and physical education, also credits the many steps
schools are taking to teach sensitivity, both in the classroom and outside.  Educating students is equally as important as punishing those who ignore the messages and exhibit bias, said Hunterdon Central Assistant Superintendent Judy Gray, the district's affirmative action officer.

Students typically face a range of consequences the first time they are caught making bias remarks, including detention,
suspension, parental notification and placement in counseling or a peer mediation or mentoring group. "I jump on any type of harassment right away. I will not tolerate it," said Gleason, who is also North Hunterdon's disciplinarian. "The teachers are pretty in tune to it. A lot of the kids come to me and tell me. We address it right away."

NJ OUTINGS EVENTS  MAY 2002
 
Adam and Michael of NJOutings want you to join them for coffee, dinner, a movie, a ballgame, and an AIDS
walk--now, if that isn't something for everyone, well, I dunno. They're working hard to provide LGBTI folks a
place to go and something to do with friends old and new in an ambiance of relaxed elegance (well, okay, I
said that, they didn't) -- but they're nice, fun guys and they host great events. Check one, two or all of
them out--you shouldn't be disappointed. - Dennis

May 11th - Dinner In New Hope - NJO will be meeting for a casual dinner & stroll in New Hope, on May 11th
@ 7:30PM on the front steps of the Bucks County Playhouse located on the center of Main Street.

May 19th - NJ AIDS Walk - NJO will be participating in the NJ AIDS Walk as a team (Team NJOUTings). Please
contact [email protected] ASAP for details.

May 25th - Informal CoffeeHouse @ Eat To The Beat Coffeehouse - NJO will be meeting at Eat To The Beat
Coffeehouse @ 7:30 PM for an informal coffee house Eat To The Beat Coffeehouse is located at 1465 Irving
Street, Rahway.

June 1st - Informal Movie Night & Pizza Party @ Pride Center - NJO will be having an informal movie night &
pizza party @ the Pride Center in New Brunswick beginning @ 7:30. The facility fee is $3 per person for the
center plus $5 if you would like pizza.

June 8th - Somerset Patriots @ Commerce Bank Ballpark -NJO will be attending a home game of the Somerset
Patriots on June 8th @ 7:05 @ Commerce Bank Ballpark in Bridgewater. Please call (908) 252-0700 to order
your tickets. Please ask for tickets in the "Upper Box Section" #218 which cost $8.
 
NJOutings presents an opportunity to hear about events and activities of interest to the LBGTI community; to list
your organization's events; and ultimately to reach a wider NJ LGBT audience ... why not subscribe to
[email protected] and see what's up?

Adam from NJOUTing's original message follows:

On June 1st NJOUTings will be re-launching its website & newsletter. In an effort to bring the NJ
gay, lesbian, bi, transgender community together, the new site and newsletter will feature a month by month
calendar of all NJ groups and their activities statewide as well as promoting NJOUTing events.  If you know of any group that should be included, please forward me their e-mail address and/or website address.


Subscribe to their mailing list at:  [email protected]

C
ontact: [email protected] Mail-list: [email protected].  See their website located at:
www.njoutings.com
 
GAY DAY AT SIX FLAGS  JUNE 15th
 
This is just a reminder or for the people who do not know about it that "Gay Day" at Six Flags Great Adventure in 
Jackson, New Jersey, will be held on June 15th this year (Sat.)  so plan you days off if you work weekends. Don’t 
forget! Show your pride by WEARING A RED SHIRT!! If you're not gay, it's OK! You can come too! 
Support us by wearing red also!
 
AFTERNOON MEETING:
 
We will be meeting at 1:00 PM at the center water fountain. At about 1:30 we'll all head over and board the 
Scream Machine together!
 
NIGHT MEETING:
 
There will be another meeting at the back of the water fountain at 7:00 PM! This will be a great time to regroup and 
chat about the days events and for those of us who couldn’t make it to the first meeting. We will all board the Rolling 
Thunder at 7:30 PM.
 
Also don't forget about the Pride Parade in Asbury Park (NJ) on the 2nd of June, Chance to meet a lot of cool 
people and buy pride stuff!
 
OUTBIKE-NJ 
 
Saturday, May 11th, 10 am Sandy Hook, first parking lot, closest to the entrance. Beginner shore ride. 
flat, but windy. 
Contact your Cabaret singing leader, Janet at [email protected]. 
She promises to not sing during the ride....She'd love to see you at her show on Sunday at 5 pm; see
www.donttellmama.com fpor details.

Where is Sandy Hook? off of exit 117 on the parkway (follow the brown signs).

Outbike NJ - The Gay and Lesbian Bicycle Club of New Jersey.
973 748 9368 Visit the Outbike website: http://www.outbikenewjersey.org
"Friends don't let friends ride without HELMETS!"
 
WOMENVISION  ALTERNATE THURSDAYS WEBSITES
 
Visit the spectacular new websites for these sister organizations: WomenVisions site is at http://njgaylife.com/womenvision.htm and Alternate Thursdays is located at 
http://hometown.aol.com/altthur/montclair.html 
 
PAUL HENNEFELDS STAMPS  ON THE WEB!
 
Paul Hennefeld has told us that I have been exhibiting my stamp collection OUT OF THE CLOSET, 
and bringing Gay History to a basically straight conservative public since March 1983.  At that time 
their were no computers, and I had to type each page over and over until I got one with no errors.  
Now with the computer, it is much easier to correct mistakes, or make changes.  I have always wanted 
to publish my OUT OF THE CLOSET, but didn't know how to go about it.  I was thrilled last December, 
when as a birthday present my partner Blair O'Dell gave me a web site, and he is having my stamp 
collection put on this site.  So please check it out, I'm sure that you will enjoy it.
 
And I can assure you that you certainly will.  This “labor of love” is well worth the visit, and you’ll linger 
once you’re there. Paul and Blair O’Dell have put Paul’s enormous, decade-spanning, globe-circling 
topical stamp collection on the internet, and you can check out their gorgeous website at
http://www.paulsgaystamps.com 
 
NJ 11th ANNUAL JERSEY PRIDE – ASBURY PARK, JUNE 2nd
 
NJ's 11th Annual GLBTI Pride Celebration will be held on Sunday, June 2nd in
Asbury Park.  This annual outing for NJ's gay community features live music,
comedians, great food, arts and crafts, art exhibit, display of the Names
Project quilt, and a parade!  The festival grounds are located at 5th and
Ocean Avenues in Asbury Park.  Clowns and games will add to the "family" fun
in the festival area.   A lineup of local and national performers will be on
hand to entertain throughout the day, and a diverse collection of crafters
and merchants will be present for your shopping pleasure.   The day will be
filled with entertainment for family members of all ages.   The event is
rain or shine and runs from noon to 7 PM.
 
Jersey Pride, Inc. has also just announced that C&C Music Factory featuring
Freedom Williams will be the headline performer for NJ's 11th Annual Pride
Celebration.  For more than a decade now, C&C Music Factory have taken their
place as one of the groundbreaking groups in popular music. Since their
debut, with their phenomenally successful album Gonna Make You Sweat, and
their equally successful hits like "Gonna Make You Sweat," "Things That Make
You Go Hmmmm...," "Do You Wanna Get Funky" and their latest, "I'll Always Be
Around," C&C Music Factory have dominated the pop and dance music charts
like no others with a string of undeniably funky and soulful songs, packed
with passion, soul, and sweat.
 
Jersey Pride is the 501 (c) (3) non-profit organization that produces the
annual Pride parade, rally and festival that celebrates the culture and
diversity of NJ's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered and Intersexed
community. All are welcome and encouraged to participate.  The 2002 sponsors
for NJ's Pride Celebration include:  Title Sponsor, Fleet; Platinum
Sponsors, Freehold Dodge and Subaru, Next Magazine, Prudential Financial,
and Westridge Laboratories/ID Lube; Gold Sponsor, Chubb; and Silver Sponsor,
Berkeley Carteret Hotel.  For more information about the pride celebration,
marching in the parade, becoming a festival vendor, performing on the stage,
or volunteering contact Jersey Pride at (732) 214-2965 or visit the web site
at www.jerseypride.org.
 
 
OLYMPIAS DAUGHTERS at PRIDE CENTER, MAY 17th
 
The well-respected and very popular Olympia's Daughters a cappella women's 
vocal ensemble is coming to the Pride Center of New Jersey on Friday, May 17th
at 8 pm.

Named for suffragette Olympia Brown, the first woman ordained a Universalist minister,
Olympia's Daughters raises their voices to build bridges between cultures and empower 
their listeners. Through song, they challenge attitudes, foster healing, and share their
hearts, spirits and joyful love of music. Frequently seen performing at cultural festivals,
domestic violence vigils and church services, Olympia's Daughters have opened for 
leading acts such as the Indigo Girls and Janis Ian.  See their website at http://www.geocities.com/olympiasdaughters/index.htm


After intermission, the audience is invited to join Olympia's Daughters in singing rounds, chants,
multicultural songs and more! All voices welcome and wanted! No previous experience necessary!
Let's see if Central Jersey has a gay and lesbian chorus in its future!

Tickets are $10 each and going fast. Call the Pride Center today (732 846 2232) or send
a check to: Olympia's Daughters Tickets, c/o The Pride Center of NJ, PO Box 5130, New 
Brunswick, NJ 08903 

 
ALTERNATE THURSDAYS! THURSDAY NIGHT SUPPORT/SOCIAL GROUP
 
Meets the 2nd and 4th Thursday of every month from 7:30-9:00pm at the First Lutheran Church, 159 
Park Street in Montclair.  A great place to make new friends, find support or meet someone special.  
If you're late you can find some of the friendly members at Charlie Browns after the meeting. Check  
out Alternate Thursdays website, or e-mail them at [email protected]. 
 
 
9/11 SURVIVORS GROUP FORMING

Efforts are underway to form a support group for members of our LGBT communities who lost someone 
on 9/11.  (you may have seen ads or flyers about this as well).  If you are interested - please contact 
Regina Colangelo, C.S.W. directly on 914-934-8861  (Regina is a psychotherapist in private practice 
in Westchester County).

RETURN TO THE QUEER MONTCLAIR WEBSITE
 
 
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