While growing up, there were many factors in my Context, the setting in which development occurs (). The environment of Hawaii is very different from the mainland, such as school dress codes and all around functionality of clothes and other similar things. In school, subjects greatly differed from other states. Hawaiian history and Hawaiian music were staples of elementary education. May day consisted of much more than May baskets. In Hawaii, cultures merge to form a unique place that can be found nowhere else in the world. I believe however that the most influential factor in my context would be the members of my family. As a young child, my family consisted of my mother, grandmother and grandfather. While I was not close with my mother, I was very estranged from my grandmother�we rarely spoke to each other, only a few times a year, and it normally had to do with my lack of discipline. Despite the hard relationships I held with my mother and grandmother, my grandfather and I were extremely close. As a child, I aspired to grow up and take over the family construction company he founded. I vowed to keep the company alive in the future, when my uncle would eventually retired from his owner/president/CEO triple position.

After my grandfather�s death however, the buffer between me and my mother and grandmother was gone, and I was forced to interact with them. My mother and I, thankfully, were able to maintain a civil relationship. However, my grandmother and I conflict often, and it usually results in her informing me of how I have failed as a grandchild, and how I do not respect her or care about her. It was at the age of nine I found out the only way for her to love me as a person and as her only grand child was if I cleaned the house and obeyed her. �You have to earn my love�� the harsh words still sting my ears. Since that day, I have given up my futile attempts to appease her and to seek her approval. We often now argue about trivial things because I have lost all respect for her as a person and as a grandmother.

From the year I turned nine years old, I was a latchkey kid. As a latchkey kid, I was alone to fend for myself and unsupervised for the extended period of time (305). I was given the key to my house and told to be sure I locked the door when I came home. From about two pm until five pm each day I was left alone. During the summer months, I was alone more frequently, usually from seven am until five pm. Normally I would just sit and watch TV alone. It was also during this time I my life when I began to loose respect for my grandmother. I no longer had an adult figure watching over me at all times, and I began to stretch my opinions and feelings past what the adults in my life were telling to me believe, think and feel. I soon found myself rebelling extensively to everything that was presented before me. The boundaries that I was required to stay within were soon seen as a challenge of how long it would take me to break them.

Once my grandfather died while I was still in elementary school, I was left with my grandmother�s �Children are to be seen, not heard�I�ll only love you if you clean the house� mentality and my mother�s �You�re so stupid because you forgot to take out the trash last night� idealism. Even at the age of nineteen, I still receive regular lectures, groundings and punishments as if I were still in elementary school. I am frequently scolded for not finishing something I was told to do, even after I was told not to finish it. My grandmother and mother fit typical Authoritarian parenting styles where the restrictive, punitive style has parent forcing the child to follow the parents� directions (230). They also allow little verbal exchange. When I attempt to explain myself or give reason, I�m met with a �Is that what I spend so much money on your college education? For you to go to class to learn how to talk back to me? If you don�t stay home Friday night, I won�t pay for your education anymore!� Throughout the years I have learned to simply nod my head at the correct time, say the appropriate apology and move on.

From the time I was in kindergarten, I always had one person who owned the title of my best friend. Kelly was my first best friend, and at the age of five, we were always together. Even when we fought, we managed to patch things up very quickly. We lived next door to each other, and we were always together. As I grew older, friends became more than just a playmate; they became someone I could count on in times of need and relish my innermost thoughts to (307). However, with age came experiences that I would rather forget. The most trusted friends soon became strangers as the politics of school, peers and social status came into play.

At each interval in my live there was a single person I considered my best friend, and with each best friend, came the inevitable period in the friendship when they would just decide that they could find someone better to be their friend, and they would just leave. In high school, this really hit home when I thought I would finally found a group of Best Friends I could count on, until Lindsay moved back to Canada without so much as a note to say she was leaving. Then Liz picked up and moved to California. I found out a year later when she called me, needing help because she was pregnant, on the mainland, and broke. Next, Eva dropped off the radar. She called me last week�she needed money for rent, or she would be evicted with her 3-week-old son. Each of these friends I considered a sister, and we did everything together, I trusted them with my lives and they each, in their own way and in their own time, picked up their lives and left me, without so much as a thought to the idea that I might wonder where they went.

However, the one that finally broke my heart was Sara. We were so different, it was scary. I was aloof, she was straight arrow. I was loud, she was quiet and reserve. Though I was a year older than she was, we shared many things in common too, including our love for movies. However, I had always known in the back of my mind that once I graduated from high school, I would never see her again�and I was right. Not a day after my graduation ceremony, I called Sara and there was no answer. For nearly a year, I tried repeatedly to reach her�all to no avail. In finally learned, she had moved to Florida not two weeks after I had graduated. The very person I had considered my sister and one true friend left me in the dust. Since then, I have kept my distance from any potential �best friends�. Putting oneself on the line, reaching out and letting someone else hold your heart is to painful in the end. A person can only be hit so many times before they move out of striking distance. I have learned that by staying away from anyone who can potentially become a close friend, I avoid the final fall out of being left, again.

As a young child, my ideal job changed from day to day. An inventor one day, a teacher the next. A firewoman once and even a dog trainer. My job path changed by the hour let alone the day. The fantasy of dream jobs were limitless and were boundless (401). As I grew older, perhaps around seven I began to aspire to follow in my grandfather and uncle�s footsteps. I dreamt of taking over the family construction company. Since the first grade, the one job that I always wanted to have, the one that always came back every few months, was to be a teacher. In high school I people began to ask me what it was I wanted to do when I graduated, and it was then for the first time I was able to confidently tell them that I wanted to spend the rest of my life teaching. I followed the ideal path of Ginzberg�s developmental theory of career choices, first with the fantasy, second with the tentative, and finally with the realistic (401).

Part III I believe that I have achieved adulthood biologically, as well as cognitively as I can work with peers and others around me accomplish tasks that need to be completed as well as interact successfully with those around me. I have passed the adolescent stage of socioemotional development. Throughout my years in school, I struggled through my share of identity crisis, a rite of passage as a junior in high school, as well as judgment from peers and those around me.

I believe I am in them middle of the adult stage of socioemotional development. While I have separated myself from my family to strike out on my own, I am still dependent on them to a point and have not yet learned how to balance what I need to become purely independent. My largest hindrance however is my family. They still view me as a child, and refuses to accept the idea that I am a legal adult. The idea of me being able to care for myself is beyond their scope of reason and quickly jumps to the conclusion that I am incapable of taking care of myself. Cultural and family values have no role in my life, as I try to separate myself from my family as often as possible. Every movement from eating dinner and sleeping at home is made around not having to interact with them.

Part IV

In the future, I wish to be teaching in a publicly run, state elementary school, teaching the first grade. I want to live in the house I am currently living in, as it has been in the family for years, and was built by my grandfather. While I have plans of marriage, I hope to have a roommate of some kind, perhaps a friend. In order to achieve adulthood and reach these goals, I first must separate myself completely from my family, without cutting them out of my life completely. They are perhaps my largest hindrance, as they have spent my entire life telling me I�ve failed, always have failed, and always will fail.

Part V

I�ve learned that I spent a lot of time blaming my mother and grandmother for things. While they do discourage me from everything I do, and never praise the good, I seem to find ways to blame them for things. In addition, the friendships of past which have failed crumbled because those that I had chosen for friends were extremely egocentric, and had not time to view the scenario from another person�s vantage. I hope that I will be able to use these concepts and theories when meeting new people. While I cannot analyze them straight across, it might help to give a better understanding of their priorities and how they�ll relate to me when times get tough.

back | email Work Cited Santrock, John W. Life-Span Development. The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. 1999.

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