After the awful Scottish performance against the Danes, I feel slightly inclined to get on Berti Vogts back. Oh, what the hell, yes, he is doing a bad job, and I am going to rip him apart for doing so. At least you knew where you were with Craig Brown. This guy comes over here, ignores the talent that we have in this country, puts them on the bench, and plays a bunch of clapped-out, talentless, English, couldn't care less idiots, in the first team. Barry Ferguson and Paul Lambert obviously don't get on, but dear old Berti keeps them in the side. He'd never pass a fire safety exam, I'll tell you now. And what's all this about Paul Lambert teasing retirement if results don't start to improve. What the France 98 has he ever done in the Scotland side? Take your �30 grand and leave, Paul, you're not needed.
Vogts' other choice of players is nothing short of laughable. Robbie Stockdale? Paul Dickov? Dominic Matteo? Just because they play in England they must be alright. The under 21s could kick their arses!!!!! Wait, I could kick their arses!!!
I also hear that the S.F.A are issuing permission slips for the Scotland side if you want to play. I came across one the other day it said:
Dear Mr Vogts,
Please can my wee boy play for your team. It has been his ambition for all his life and I hope you can make that dream come true. He always says his prayers and he is quite a good footballer. He also makes a good cup of tea. I told him that I would put in a good word for him. He isn't English. Is that OK? I hope it is. Best of luck finding a new job in the future. I hear Safeway want trolley staff.
From Mrs. Crawford.