Gay Toy Story A/N: I am writing Disney slash. This is when you know you've gone so far into fandom that you've completely lost all morals and scruples. But C'mon, the Toy Story storyline had it coming. I apologise. + Every kid grows up, they would discard their toys and move on with their life. Andy never did. The toys in his room were relieved, but curious why they were never discarded like so many others, even when the cowboy sheets or the space ranger sheets were replaced by normal white cotton ones, the toy posters on the walls exchanged for those of rock bands and popular icons, when their child grew up into a young man. Woody and Buzz hadn't seen it coming. One day they took stock of their domain, the familiar surroundings of their home for many years and wondered. Both of them glanced at each other, the same epiphany running through their minds as they stared at their owner, hunched over a small desk, facing a glowing computer screen, one long fingered hand caressing the sheep on the tablelamp, then the still standing pole in Bo's small porcelain hands. Andy suddenly moved back on the swivel chair, looking frantically around his room, relaxing as he spotted the two now prone figurines just under his bed. He bent down, long legs stretching as he picked the two up with a fond smile that hadn't dimmed since they've been owned by him. "There you guys are." Woody's plastic eyes roved over the dark jeans as he was lifted up, the white shirt with an iron on computerised image of himself leaning against a wall, face covered by his cowboy hat, and unobstrusive trail of smoke from his lips in clean crisp white outlines. He was brought level with Andy's warm brown eyes, the once bowl cut of hair now a shaggy mop of teenage untidyness, and black smudges of residue eyeliner around his eyes. Buzz didn't know when the change happened to the sweet kid that played with them. Nothing and everything has changed. Andy set them down in front of the keyboard, "Nearly my birthday again, wonder what I'll get this year. Maybe you two will get a new friend." Even softer, "Maybe I will too." Bo Peep's eyes met Woody's and Buzz's in the limelight. Red alert. Red Alert. + "Howdy guys, how's it hanging?!" "Not now Jesse." Woody crossed his clothed arms, continuing with what he was saying, "Seriously guys, there is something wrong with Andy. Have you noticed how he's..." The doll made crazy motions in the air. "Woody, I think we've all realised it." Buzz sat on the lamp steps. "Actually, only you two haven't noticed, me and Rex have been noticin' for a while." Slinky Dog nodded sagely. "Oh yes! We watch all those tv specials! Andy's showing all the signs... not that it's bad or anything, but... " Rex flapped his tiny green dinosaur arms. "What the heck are you talking about?! I just want to know why Andy turned out so weird! With great toys like us around, how come he doesn't have as many friends, not that I don't enjoy being played with, and what's with all the girly mascara and the long time on that computer...!" "Hey, don't bag the computer, the information highway has ALOT of good information that develop young minds and gives ME credit card access to get that high sheen oil for my surface," Hamm defended, from atop said device, glaring down with his beady eyes at the cowboy. "Maybe Andy's going through that strange stage I've heard kids go through, scientifically his hormones must be a riot so-" Buzz commented. "He's gay." All the toys looked at Bo Peep. She rolled her eyes. "Trust me, I'm closest to the computer." "WHAT WHAT WHAT?! My darlin Andy is... one of THOSE people?" Mrs Potato Head was cut off by her husband, "Eh, good for him." "Nuthin' wrong with that." Jesse chirped. "He's... a homosexual?" Buzz looked stunned. "Gay is very vogue right now." Rex said sagely. "But... he's ANDY. How can he... " Woody wished his blush coated plastic cheeks could pale to add sufficient emotion to the situation. "We've been afraid to tell you, y'know, since he plays with you two the most," Hamm chuckled, " Interesting times ahead." Buzz and Woody shared a look. "Wait, he couldn't, don't be ridiculous, we don't even have gentials for god's sake! And we're a cowboy and a space ranger!" Woody's voice hinted to that tiny bit of hysteria. "Mary's been doing it to her Ken dolls ever since he and Barbie broke up, poor girl never recovered." Jesse shook her head sadly. "THAT ISN'T COMFORTING!" "So he places you around a bit, what's the big deal? He's been doing that ever since he got you." Mr Potato Head was holding his wife's lips in his hands. "Well, Woody's certainly flexible," Buzz said in a infuriatingly calm way. "Hey hey, don't even go there buddy." Woody looked at the sleeping figure on the bed. "Let's call it a night. We'll need our strength for tomorrow." The other toys nodded in agreement. "Yikes, another birthday, just what we need, more socks." Hamm slid down the back of the computer. "Maybe we'll get another toy! A gay one! Wait, not that kind, but I want to see what a gay toy would be like, wouldn't that be REALLY strange and -" "Shut up Rex." Slinky Dog strolled past. + "Ever think about it?" "Thank about what?" "How do toys experience pleasure anyway? We're plastic and cloth. How do we come alive?" Woody looked at Buzz weirdly, their legs hanging idly off the edge of the desk. "This coming from the guy who thought he was a real live space ranger?" Buzz glared. "I just like to think it was the elves that made us in the North Pole or something." A quirked eyebrow. "A... ha." "I don't need a reason to exist Buzz, I just do." "Still." Woody was nearly knocked off the table as Buzz punched his arm. "What the hell was that for?!" "Did you feel that?" "YES." "Hm. Then what did you feel when your arm was ripped off?" "It's too late to talk psycho babble Buzz." "How about when Miss Bo kisses you." Woody was silent for a second, "Jeez, I don't know... good?" "Do you feel her, or just feel good from the idea she's kissing you?" Buzz looked thoughtful. "No idea, don't particularily care. It's feels good, go with the flow man." Woody was wondering where this was going. "How do you think humans feel?" Silence. "Whoa, Buzz, every toy gets to that point where they wish they were human or something silly like that but darn it, you're a toy, get over it." "I just wonder how much I'm actually feeling here Woody, you're cloth, bendable, you can touch stuff. I'm covered in armour for god's sake." Woody was surprised at the faint sense of envy in Buzz's tone. He didn't know how to reply to that, it had never entered his mind since Buzz was the one with the gadgets and the indestructibility. Cloth and thread can be teared, voice box broken. Plastic can live forever. But Woody could change, but Buzz couldn't. "Wow. Now there's something I've never thought about." Buzz stood. "Andy's teenage angst is probably infecting me. Sorry, don't know what I'm saying." Woody grabbed Buzz's arm before he could leave. "Wait Buzz, what's this really about?" "You wouldn't understand Woody." "TRY me." Buzz looked at him long and hard. "Fine. I don't like girls." Woody would've blinked if he could've. Buzz stared at him in silence. It stretched. "Buzz, you think you're gay?" The space ranger looked distinctly uncomfortable. "Don't know." "Buzz, this might be getting old, but You. Are. A. Toy." Woody let that take effect. "Toys are not gay. We're toys. As I said, we don't have genitals." "You're taking this awfully calmly considering you were freaking out about Andy just a while ago Woody." "Andy is different, he's human, and I didn't expect it. Buddy, you're more messed up than I originally gave you credit for. There are no such things as gay toys." Buzz looked afronted. "Maybe I'm the first or something. I'm not interested in women is all I know. You have Bo, and Potato Head has his Mrs, even those ridiculous misproportioned barbie dolls hold appeal for the rest of them. Me, I'm an Action Man kind of guy, all adventure none of the weird behaviour." Woody rubbed the side of his head. "The dolls that looked like females are fascinating because they don't look like us, and for the last time Buuuuzz, we're toys, thats how a pig and a barbie can get together and two potatoes. We have programming, when you get near another 'male'," insert quotation fingers, "toy, you will either try and punch them or become platonic friends." "What about us?" That threw him. Woody looked puzzled. "What about us?" "Are we only platonic friends Woody?" Woody cursed insecure space rangers in his mind. "Buzz, we're buddies. I'll be your friend until we're frolicking with Bulleye as our mule in the land fill." Buzz didn't look moved. "You're my best friend. Nothing's going to change that. Not ever. Like Andy will always be our best friend, even if he goes through all of these changes, we'll always love him. We'll always have each other." Buzz nodded. "That's good." "And if that wasn't what you meant, how about I kiss you and get it over with?" There was a hiss snap as Buzz's wings came up. He slid them back in place, watching the cowboy dubiously. "What?" "You think you're gay. I'll kiss you, and you can tell me afterwards. I'll prove you wrong." "Woody we're toys, we won't even feel it, and what about Bo?" "So what if we're toys, the intents still there, and Bo's an understanding kind of gal anyway." Silence as they stared at each other. Buzz nodded once, motionless as Woody approached him, hat in hands. The small sound of a click as two surfaces touched, painted lips pressing against another. Artificial breathing, eyes closed, searching for touch and contact. Buzz pulled away first. "Okay." "Friends?" "Always." Woody was relieved in spite of his casualness. Buzz smiled at him. "Still gay?" Woody asked brazenly. "Maybe, Maybe not." Woody rolled his eyes. "In any case, Andy is." "Good thing we practiced then," Buzz muttered. "That's the spirit." + Andy got a snazzy pair of rainbow socks for his birthday and a new watch, and everything returned to normal. Well, almost. The toys made sure to shield themselves or close their eyes when Andy started bringing 'friends' around when Mum wasn't there, was relieved and afraid when Andy moved out, taking them with him to his new apartment. All was right with the world. They were never less loved or ignored. Andy was still their best friend. Of course, that was until Andy's boyfriend started dressing Woody up. Buzz had teased the leather clad cowboy for weeks. Woody got his own back by drawing the double men symbol on Buzz's screen in permanent marker. Andy loved it immediately. Life continued for the two best friends. Fin. + |