�Lily!� they exclaimed in unison.
She smiled. �Hello. Very nice match, by the way. Congratulations, Lucius.�
�What, congratulations?� His face clouded over. �We lost!�
�Only by a hair,� Lily said, still beaming. �Come on�I�m inviting you both to a celebration feast the Gryffindor team�s hosting.�
Lucius scowled. �I�m not going�it�s just to see them gloat over us. Besides, I�m their enemy.�
�Oh, no, you�re not,� Lily said calmly. �The Ravenclaw team was their opponent at the last Quidditch match, and they�re being welcomed with open arms. I want you two to come.�
�I�m not,� Lucius shrugged.
�I am, though,� Severus decided instantly. �I�d rather.�
Lucius stared at him in astonishment, and Lily smiled at him.
�Thanks, Severus�Lucius, sure you won�t change your mind?�
�I�m positive,� Lucius said cuttingly. �I�ll live without it.� He left the grounds for the castle, and Lily looked back at Severus, who shrugged.
�I don�t care. You sure?�
�Sure I�m sure,� she laughed, �if you�re my friend, you�re coming. No questions asked.�
�Fine,� he agreed. �Now, where is this feast you speak so highly of?�
The Gryffindors had their feast on the lawns that night; it was a warm April evening, and Sirius, Remus, and Peter had unraveled their plans to a few of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, who had been assigned the responsibility of sneaking the House tables from the Great Hall and carrying them out to the acres of grass near the lake. They surrounded a good bit of land, when placed in a U-form with spaces at the corners, and they were now official buffet tables.
The linen tablecloths had also been hooked, and Sirius and Remus had charmed the four long tables in the kitchens below the Great Hall that sent food up to the Hall tables to send their load up to the new arrangement, although the tables were on the lawns. True, their feast could have been stopped by the teachers, but Remus had procured a written note from Professor Dumbledore, saying that they were allowed to have their feast outside, which Sirius took to mean that they were permitted to bring food outside, as a feast was constituted mainly of food, and there were ants and fairy dust in the grass, so it would be unsanitary not to use tables, and as there were no other available tables that they knew of, these were the only choice. Even Professor McGonagall assented to that line of logic after she had been presented with it; though she warned them to have everything cleaned up by ten o�clock.
The trophy was set in the middle of the center buffet table; it presided over everyone that night�tall and golden, with the Snitch poised atop it, wings fluttering gracefully, and with the winning team�s House and names engraved into the base of it. The Quidditch team was grouped around it, and cameras were snapping everywhere. From somewhere, Sirius had persuaded a couple of groups of fairies to sit on the tables and inside bushes and trees as decorations, and they were fluttering and twinkling beautifully.
Lily led Severus over to one of the tables and handed him one of the golden plates. �Help yourself.�
He smiled at her, but the next instant he stiffened, looking at someone over her shoulder. Lily spun around.
�Oh�hello��
�What is he doing here?� the arrival asked, looking Severus up and down as if he were an extremely squashed and large cockroach.
�He�s my guest,� Lily glared; �do you have anything against that?�
�Yeah,� James scowled�he had come over to get some dessert��he�s a Slytherin.�
�So?� Lily asked, her face almost frozen in a glare.
�So he�s our opponent, our enemy!�
�James,� Lily said quietly, �correct me if I am wrong, but is that Ravenclaw Chaser holding hands with Rebecca or not?�
James swiveled. �Yeah. So what?�
�I am getting tired of the word �so�. In other words, he was your opponent, too, and Severus wasn�t even on the team. You�re being ridiculous,� she almost spat out, each syllable drawn-out and tinged with contempt.
He frowned. �Don�t let me hold you up, then. Have fun with your boyfriend�husband�fianc�whatever he is,� James said, waving one hand around as if it had lost its bones all of a sudden. �Far be it from me to hold you two up.�
�James,� Lily said quietly, �someone wants you back in your crowd of admirers.�
�Really?� James swiveled. �Who?�
�Me,� Lily glared.
�Okay, okay!� he mumbled, �some friend you are.� He left the table and rejoined his friends, who immediately cleared a path for him to the Quidditch Cup.
Severus put a hand on Lily�s shoulder. �You know, you didn�t have to stand up for me. I could have done that��
�Severus,� Lily interrupted, �I don�t want either you or James to get into a fight while we�re having a feast. No one out here has a tendency towards having body parts in their pudding.�
Severus grinned at her. �I guess you�re right.�
Lily smiled. �I hope I am. Chocolate cake or chocolate gateau?� she asked, holding a plate in each hand, weighing them in an imitation of a scale.
The rest of the afternoon was hot and sunny; and the night was beautiful; moonlight settled over the clouds at eight, and it twinkled merrily on the lake, which was constantly moving; three mermaids and one merman had popped out of the water, and they were being treated with butterbeer and several different foods from the tables. Lily noticed that they were quite like Litharelen, only not so much like the picture of the mermaid that hung in the prefect�s bathroom; their silver fishtails caught the candlelight from the tables, and the dark green eyes sparkled warily. Without meaning to, Lily sighed softly.
�I wonder how Tom�s bearing up�� she murmered.
�Tom?� Severus asked.
Lily started. �Oh, just a former friend.�
�Former friend�he�s not anymore?�
�I suppose he is,� Lily edged.
Severus frowned. �What�s his last name?�
�Why?� Lily stiffened. This wasn�t good.
�I want to know�I think I know who he is, that�s all.�
Lily flitted to her feet and started walking away. Severus jumped up and followed her, taking her arm.
�What�s this; why�re you so nervous?�
�Nothing,� Lily said firmly.
�Lily�I won�t ask you to tell me anything�but is his name Tom Riddle?�
Lily couldn�t hide her astonishment. Eyes wide and short of breath, she swiveled towards Severus, who was gazing thoughtfully at her through clear, black eyes. �What?�
He turned her back around, and they started on a walk around the lake. �It wasn�t too hard to figure out.�
�How?�� she breathed.
Severus shrugged. �Lucius� father�s part of his band of Death Eaters�and I know his fianc�e was murdered after Halloween. It wasn�t hard to put together�you were staring at the mermaids, and I know she was an elf-nymph. They�re not that different, actually.�
Lily smiled weakly. �You�re very perceptive.�
�Thanks; I try,� he grinned. Then his face grew more serious.
�Lily, I heard something about him having a brilliant little sidekick, one that�s wonderful with the pentacorn he owns and that saved his fianc�e�s life�� His eyes were questioning now as they fastened upon her.
Lily shook her long, auburn hair back from her shoulders; she didn�t care anymore; he knew too much, and he was safe�besides, he could find out anyway.
�You�re right. I did help him. I was involved with his band of Death Eaters, and I did help heal Litharelen when she was injured. I can ride Svordsja. What else?�
�Nothing,� Severus ventured��nothing�I didn�t mean for you to blurt this out to me��
They were next to the edge of the Forbidden Forest by now, and the noise from the feast had dwindled to a far-off tinkle of plates and shouts. They were very well hidden from sight; which was quite advantageous for their conversation.
�I didn�t blurt it out. You knew already, Severus�it�s not as if I kept anything important from you. You�re very smart; you know that?�
Even in the darkness, she could see his cheekbones turning red. �Thanks,� he mumbled. �Nothing compared to you, though.�
�While I�m at it,� Lily continued, �I�d better tell you how I got there. Still, if Tom finds out, I�m as good as dead,� she said in the tone of someone talking about tomorrow�s forecasted rainstorm.
�Remember when I got locked into the dungeon in first year?� she asked.
Severus frowned. �Of course.�
�You got me out of there�and you gave me this in the hospital wing.� Lily had pulled out her necklace from underneath her robes; she took it off and let it glide into Severus� hands. He touched it gently, then pressed it into her hand and closed her fingers around it.
�Yes; what about it?�
�It transports me to the Alendoren Cove�which was where Tom had his hideout and where Litharelen lived. He told me that it would give him ultimate power over all mortals, which is why I�m rather desperate to keep it from him.� Lily wasn�t looking at him; she was staring straight ahead at nothing; only she knew how much his answer would mean to her.
�Well, then.� Severus draped an arm over her shoulder, which was tense and unyielding. �That makes me desperate to keep him from it, too, doesn�t it?�
He had never seen such relief as showed itself in her face after he said that. She turned to face him, her eyes alight with some inner joy, a smile sparkling at the corners of her mouth.
�Thank you.�
He hugged her slightly. �No problem whatsoever.�
She turned to the lake and the looming castle again, but she felt more reassured and comforted than she had in ages; what had just happened between them was more than their words could ever have signified, was more than words could ever describe.
They drifted back to the edge of the lake, where Lily quickly noted that they hadn�t, to any obvious extent, been missed at all. Not that she normally would have been, but she suspected that the Marauders would be disappointed at not finding a good prank subject�the one she knew their minds would instantly flit to was Severus. Still, as she cast a glance over the students, she noticed nothing wrong, which was a relief. They reassumed their walk around the lake.
After about ten minutes of walking in the dusk, Severus was the first to break the silence.
�Lily, I want you to know I really do appreciate your trusting me with this.�
She smiled and waved a hand, as if to say it was nothing, though they both knew better. �Nonsense. You would have found out anyway. Besides�I trust you.�
She could sense his cheeks turning faintly red again. �Thanks,� he mumbled.
Lily didn�t ask him not to tell anyone; she knew he wouldn�t. And he, on his part, was grateful to her for thinking so highly of him so that she felt she didn�t need to ask.
They didn�t say much as they walked back around the lake and rejoined the students that were stuffing themselves without a care in the world. Sirius and James saw them as they returned, but didn�t say anything; they just cast a glance at each other, raised their eyebrows, nodded, and turned back to their fans.
That evening, at around eleven o�clock, Lily had changed and was already in a nightgown when she hit her head lightly with the flat of her palm. She�d left her schoolbag down in the common room last night. Quickly, she threw on her dressing gown and flitted downstairs, scooped up the bag, and started for the marble dormitory stairs, when a voice stopped her.
�Hey�where�re you going so fast?�
Lily spun around. �Oh. Sirius. I only came down to get my books�� she held out her bag.
�I see.� Sirius nodded. �Still, I guess I�in the name of all the Marauders�want to ask you something.�
She set her jaw; she had an idea of what was coming. �What?�
�Where did you go with Snape this evening?�
Lily had expected this; she let her bag fall to the floor and crossed her arms. �No.�
�No what?� Sirius was confused.
�No. That�s all, just no.�
�You mean you�re not telling?�
�Boy, are you smart,� she scoffed. �Of course I�m not; you�ve got no business knowing absolutely everything about me. I don�t know why, every time I spend any time with him at all, you four always have to know what goes on while I�m with him.�
Sirius sighed and stood up; he knew he�d started wrong. �Lily, I didn�t mean it that way. We�re worried about you; that�s all�he�s a Slytherin, and�well, you�re pretty�We just don�t want him to get away with anything he might do, that�s all,� he finished rather lamely.
�Thanks for the concern,� Lily remarked dryly. Then her tone changed; she sounded like a mother tigress defending her children.
�It wouldn�t enter his head to do anything to me that even comes near what�s revolving in your one-track minds. He�s kind, sweet, nice, supportive�everything you four haven�t been over the years. He�s stood by me through everything I�ve been through, and he�s the best friend I could ever hope for. Satisfied? Or not�have I damaged your wonderfully nasty opinions of a Slytherin wretch?�
Sirius backed down under her glare.
�No--Lily, it�s not that.�
�What is it, then?� She was still angry.
�Lily, his friends are joining that Death Eater, that Voldemort rat, the one that�s killed two families down in Kent so far. You�re Muggle-born, and Voldemort hates Muggles beyond anything else. If Snape joins him�which I know he will�you�ll be in danger. Very great danger.�
Lily tossed her head; she knew better. �I am not in danger. Lord Voldemort is not going to kill me.�
�And how are you so certain?� Sirius moved towards her and put a hand on each of her shoulders. �He hates Muggle-borns; you know he does! All that stuff that�s been in the paper tells of him killing Muggles and plotting against Muggle-born wizards. We don�t want you to die, don�t you understand?�
She smiled almost vaguely; she was remembering Litharelen.
�Sirius, he won�t touch me. I give you my word for that. Not with a curse nor anything else. Go back to bed; you�re talking blarney.�
Sirius didn�t let the subject drop, but he couldn�t get anything else out of Lily, and, after leaving the common room and reaching his dormitory, he moodily reported to his friends.
�She stood up for Snape.�
James sighed. �We�d practically expected that. What�d she say about him?�
�He�s nice and noble and sweet and lots of other stuff--I�d be sick if I related them to you. That should give you the gist, anyhow.�
Remus fell back against his pillow. �What�d she say about Voldemort?�
Sirius shrugged. �Nothing. Not really. She just told me that he wasn�t going to hurt her, and that I should back off. That you three should, too.� He flung himself onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. �I�m worried about her.
�As are we all,� James snapped. �But I do think you should take her word for everything concerning T�er--Voldemort. I think she knows more about him than we think��
Sirius had pushed himself to a sitting position. �Oh, really? What makes you think that?�
�Nothing,� James blushed, �nothing.�
�Liar.� By now the three of them had surrounded James� four-poster. �Tell. We�re the Marauders; we tell anything.�
Remus� eyes were narrowed. �Does this have anything to do with what we didn�t see on the map?�
�Huh?�
�James, you idiot, you know perfectly well. As soon as we made that map, we saw that sometimes Lily wouldn�t be on it at all, no matter where in the castle we looked. You said you�d find out, and you never told us if you found out anything. I think this is the time to tell us.�
James� eyes opened wide. He couldn�t tell them; he couldn�t�this was Lily�s secret; it wasn�t his, no matter how much he wished it was.
�I can�t tell you,� he said curtly.
�Oh, yes, you can,� Sirius stated coolly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. �We�ve got all night.�
�Sirius.� James turned around and glared at his friend, something he hardly ever did in earnest. �I can�t tell you. Ask her�she might tell you, but I�m not entitled to.�
�Oh, right,� Peter scoffed. �You just don�t want to admit you took her to Hogsmeade or somewhere when you were supposed to be spying. How many times�ve you kissed her, huh?�
James swiveled. �Peter, you�ve said enough. Shut. Up. Now.� Peter cringed almost invisibly, and, satisfied, James turned to Remus and Sirius.
�Okay, okay, so I can�t tell you what she was doing, but it wasn�t what Peter just said.� He fell back against his pillow, telling himself that this was going to be an extremely stupid revelation.
�I�d much rather have been doing what he described, though.�
�WHAT?� The three others in the room exploded with the same word, and Frank Longbottom, who had the fifth bed in the dormitory, good-naturedly yelled at them to shut up, then turned around and resumed sleeping.
Peter almost fell down. �You would have rather been doing what?�
Sirius almost couldn�t speak. �What�what�You�re a Marauder, for Pete�s sake�you can�t�you can�t��
�You�re not in love, you prat, are you?� This surprised James, because Remus was usually calm.
�No, I�m not!�I just�I just like her, that�s all,� he covered with an utterly nonconvincing shrug as he sat up again.
Sirius frowned. �And for how long? Do you realize we tell each other everything�EVERYTHING?�
James sighed. �I don�t know. I guess�fourth year, fifth year. Something like that. It seems like forever.�
�I thought as much,� Sirius mused. �Way back when you handed in your Anatomy homework�well, whatever subject it was�and said it was hers��
�So it�s not a random little infatuation with the punch in the jaw she�d give you if she found out?�
�Peter!� Remus glared. �Don�t say that�hey, we don�t know she�ll do that, do we?�
�Yeah, it�s a toss-up between the left hook and the knee in the groin,� James said dryly. �I haven�t got a chance.�
Sirius nodded slowly. �Why haven�t you got a chance?�
Peter had been itching to say something for the last few minutes, and now he had his chance. �So do you want me to tell Lily tomorrow?�
�NO!� This could have come from ten voiceboxes, judging from the amount of volume James produced. �Peter, don�t you [i]dare![/i]�
�Why not? She�s nice to you, isn�t she?�
James sighed. �I know, I know. But it seems that no matter how nice she is to me, she still hates me desperately underneath. I don�t know what to do.�
Frank�s voice floated from across the room. �Okay, either invite me to join in to the conversation or keep it down!�
�Okay, come on, join us,� Sirius griped as Frank, grinning, swung his feet out of bed.
�So what�s this I hear about James?�
�He�s in love with Lily Evans,� Peter said smugly.
James snapped around. �PETER!�
�I�m sorry!� he whined. �But you are, aren�t you?�
Sirius smacked him on the back of the head. �Peter, you prat, he�s not old enough to know what love is. Grow up.� He turned to Frank. �Only problem dear James has is that she�s one of those lovely delinquents that hate the thought of romance. Besides, she hates his twisted guts.�
�Ah,� Frank nodded. �I see.�
�As do we all,� Sirius sighed. �Oh, the twisted complications and triangles of love!�
�Triangles!� James almost spat out. �What?�
�Snape, James,� all four of the boys told him.
�Oh.� James cheered up. �Well, that�s good, then!�
�How�good?� Remus was curious.
�Well�she�d never be interested in someone like him! And�and besides, he�s a Slytherin. Lily knows better than that.� Even in his own mind the words sounded stupid.
Sirius snorted. �James, you�re a bloody idiot. Remember what I just said? She said she didn�t care if he was a Slytherin or not; she said that he was extremely nice and sweet and I don�t know what all.�
�Yeah,� Peter echoed. �Remember?�
If James had been a girl, the noise he let out could have been a whimper. �I know.�
�And what about that Richard kid she got that ring from?� Remus asked, and both Sirius� and James� eyes turned quickly to large dinner plates.
�I forgot about him,� James mumbled.
�Obviously,� Remus commented. �And he�s more likely to get her than Snape is.�
�But he�s a Muggle,� James almost wailed. �She can�t!�
�James, hate to break it to you, but this is Lily,� Sirius sighed. �She�ll do what she wants to, and if you tell her not to, she will, just to spite you. And it always turns out okay for her in the end, so she hasn�t learned the meaning of the phrase �cutting off your nose to spite your face�.�
Frank nodded. �This I can confirm.�
�You�re also remembering Serena, aren�t you?� Sirius, as usual, had mentioned one more down side.
�Damn.� James hit his skull against the headboard of the four-poster. �Ow.�
�I take that as a no.� Remus almost smiled. �You know, for the Head Boy, you really are a bit clueless.�
�Gee, thanks,� James snapped. �You four, go to bed!�
He was surprised when they obeyed.
That night, only Frank, Remus, and Peter slept well. James, for obvious reasons, was tossing and turning and throwing pillows off of his bed for the entire night, and Sirius was lying in his own four-poster, staring at the ceiling. Both of them were thinking the same thing.
�If Snape gets to her first, I don�t know what I�ll do.�
At around five in the morning, both of them pulled aside their curtains at exactly the same time. They grinned weakly at each other.
�Better hope Frank�s not a blabbermouth, huh?� James said wearily.
�Let�s hope,� Sirius agreed.
Rather dismally, they showered and got dressed, both of them arriving downstairs together. James looked at the Potions essay he had due on Monday, and that he hadn�t finished yet.
�I�d better get started on that, then,� he mumbled.
�Sure,� Sirius agreed. He flung himself down on a sofa, staring at the ceiling. The only sound for several minutes was the scratching of James� quill, the crumplings of parchment bits, the flicking of pages in James� Potions book, and his frustrated grunts as he threw his quill in the fire, then singed his eyebrows neatly as he retrieved it.
�Smart, James,� Sirius commented absently.
�Yeah, I know,� James groaned. �Now I�ve got no eyebrows. At least Snape has those.�
�Don�t worry about Snape. He asked her out during Christmas break in fourth year, remember? And she said no.�
�Yeah, because she was too young,� James grumbled. �She�s sixteen now. Almost seventeen. And as far as I know, she hasn�t even kissed anyone yet.�
�You�re complaining?�
�No�no, I�m not! I�m not,� he said. �Well, maybe. What if�what if��
Sirius sighed. �What if what?�
�Er�well, you know I�ve not the nerve to ask her anything of this sort, don�t you?�
�What sort?� Sirius asked innocently.
�Please, don�t start. You�re just better at talking to girls than I am�er�rephrase that. We�re all good at talking to girls we don�t like. Do you think you could talk to her for me?�
So I don�t like Lily, Sirius thought dryly. You have no idea.
Aloud he said, �Okay, shoot.�
�Shoot?� James was confused.
�Yeah; what do you want me to say to her?�
�Oh.�
�Exactly,� Sirius commented. �And I�m not talking to you for her.�
�Why not?� James looked hurt. �I thought we were supposed to be best friends or something in that area!�
Sirius rolled his eyes. �We still are. It�s just that if you don�t do this, then you won�t have the guts to do anything else, like offer her a wedding ring.�
He knew perfectly well what he was doing. Sirius knew that, one, James wouldn�t have the nerve, and two, if he did, Lily would discourage every hope he had somehow. At least, he was praying for that. He couldn�t go up to her and to ask her if she liked his best friend in a more than friendly way when he liked that same girl. It just wouldn�t work out well.
Yes, James was his best friend�but James got everything else, always�and he�d been cruel to this girl so many times, and then Sirius had been there for her, and she�d cried into his bloody shirt, for crying out loud. She�d trusted him with stuff�she�d confided in him�and, anyway, James wasn�t exactly terribly nice to her, and if he had liked her since fourth or fifth year, then he showed it in an awfully odd way�
Fortunately for him, James wasn�t psychic, so he just sighed and stared into the fire. �Thanks, Sirius�I guess I�d better.�
�Go for it, then.�
�But I don�t know�� Unconsciously, James raised a hand and tried to make his hair lie flat. �What if I get scared or something and she thinks I�m an utter pillock?�
�She does already,� Sirius grinned. �Go dispel that illusion.�
�But��
�But what?�
James threw more bits of paper into the fire, causing it to flare up. �I don�t know how to act around her.�
�Then learn,� Sirius said brutally.
�Wow,� James commented. �Some friend.�
�It�s five-thirty in the morning, and I haven�t slept all night. I�m not a morning person, as you should know.�
�I do know. So�hey, I need help. What do I do about Lily?�
Sirius shrugged; then his eyes lit up almost unnoticeably. �Speak of the devil.�
Lily hadn�t slept too well that night for some reason�after Sirius finished talking to her, she�d heard faint yells from the boys� dormitory, and she simply couldn�t fall asleep after that. What on earth was so wrong with her standing up for Severus�or liking him, for that matter? Simply because he was in a different House didn�t give four bigheaded Gryffindors the right to dump on him every single time they saw him. As far as she could see, it was unreasonable hatred on both sides.
Finally, Lily gave up on sleep and threw her dressing gown on; with a Herbology book in her hands, she stepped downstairs quietly; only five steps away from the common room did she catch Sirius� eyes and the last few words of the conversation.
James was glaring at the fire, and something had happened to his now nonexistent eyebrows. �What do I do about Lily?�
That was when Sirius had seen her white nightgown and half-smiled at her, shrugging. �Speak of the devil.�
Lily smiled faintly and moved into the common room, the train of her nightgown trailing behind her. �Up early, are we? What happened to you two?�
�Why?� Both of them were confused.
She laughed. �James, you�re missing your eyebrows, and both of you are up before seven. This calls for an explanation.�
�Oh�� James shrugged, shamefacedly trying to cover up his forehead. �I couldn�t sleep.�
�Ah.� Sirius nodded. �I suppose I�ll use the same excuse. I couldn�t sleep.�
Lily tossed her hair over her shoulder, laughing again. �I thought I�d come down here to study, but I guess that�s going up in smoke.�
�Yep,� James nodded philosophically. �Thou shalt not have the semblance of an idea concerning studying around any member of the Marauders.�
�Oh, really?�
�I made it up, but so what?�
James had been shooting Sirius several death glares, and finally Sirius decided that eavesdropping would be much more fun than mooching around the common room. Stretching a bit for Lily�s benefit, he stood up.
�I�m leaving. Need to catch up on sleep,� he muttered.
He dragged himself out of the common room, and, to break the newly-frozen ice, Lily ventured a question.
�What were you two talking about before I came in?�
He turned his attention to his essay again. �Oh�nothing, really. Not anything you�d be interested in.�
�I heard my name,� she stated calmly.
�It wasn�t anything about you�well, not really.�
�Not really?� She was eyeing him with suspicion now�had he told Sirius anything about Tom�about Voldemort, that is, and her affiliation with him?
�No.� James broke the conversation off. �It wasn�t.�
She felt slightly hurt; she hadn�t said a thing to him that could possibly, to her mind, be construed into anything rude, and here he was, being an unreasonable prat to her. Almost unconsciously, she drew up her barrier; the one that prevented anyone from reaching in to her.
�Have it your way.� Her tone had changed; it was scathing and scornful; just the way she felt. James looked up, and she could see the surprise in his eyes.
�Hey, what�d I do this time?�
�You were rude,� she stated clearly.
�What�How was I rude?�
Lily just looked at him.
�Never mind.�
�I thought so.�
Lily mentally hit herself; even if he did have something against Severus, and even if he was perfectly willing to do anything to break the two of them up, she really had no right to be this mean. Unbeknownst to her, he was thinking almost the same thing.
You think you bloody love her, for cursing Snape out satisfactorily, (he was getting sick of the phrase �crying out loud�) and here you are, being a prat to the girl you�d most want to be anything else to. He let his head drop onto a pile of books, and it responded with a painful smack. Lily started.
�James, are you all right?�
He had hit his head on his Transfiguration book�maybe because he was tired, and it had startled her momentarily. She whirled around, eyes full of concern piercing his gaze, which quickly dropped.
�No�yes, I�m all right. I�m just being stupid��
�You sure you are?�
�Yeah�hey! That was not nice!�
Lily was slightly puzzled, but she didn�t let him know. �What wasn�t?�
�You just made me call myself stupid, didn�t you?�
He hit himself again. �I shouldn�t have pointed that out!�
She laughed again. �True. I hadn�t noticed that before.�
Sirius was sitting moodily on the marble steps of the boys� dormitory. So much for leaving them alone to fight, he thought.
He walked back downstairs, gracefully tripping over the hem of his pajamas and tumbling to the foot of the stairs. Lily whirled around.
�Sirius�You all right?�
�Sure, sure�fine.� Sirius obviously didn�t want this to be commented on, so Lily let it drop.
�Okay, then.�
She turned back to her book a few minutes later; the boys obviously didn�t want her around, but she had no intention of leaving just for their benefit. Frustrated for some reason, she curled up in the armchair and almost completely blocked herself from anything or anyone else in the common room as her mind dived into the book.
A half hour later, though, she couldn�t have told an interrogator what had been on the last fifty pages. Lily had been musing�why weren�t the boys acting as usual? First they were up at five in the morning, secondly, when she came down and tried talking to them, they tried to avoid her and she almost got into a fight with James for no reason at all�
Loudly, she slammed her book shut and stood up, slipping it onto the table, ignoring the stares she knew she was receiving. She had to do something to sort out this confusion in her mind, and she did the best thing she could think of�left the common room without so much as a word for anyone, and strode lightly towards the entrance hall.
The stone walls, for the first time in weeks, were stifling her�she had to get outside, must do something�couldn�t stay cooped up in a castle forever�
With difficulty, she unbolted the large front doors and pushed one of them open only wide enough for her to slip through. Stepping outside, Lily stood up straighter as the wet, dewy air sank into her mouth and flowed down her throat. She hadn�t done this in ages and it felt wonderful�
Ever since Litharelen died, she had tried to push away all thoughts of her friend. Now, they flooded back�
Lily hadn�t ever really liked Litharelen; she had vaguely been annoyed by her at times, but Lith was the one that had taught her to ride; she had been Lily�s first acquaintance in Albania�and apart from everything else that had to do with her, Tom had loved Litharelen, and still did. A lump rose in Lily�s throat as she recalled the pain in Tom�s face as he caught her moments after her death, as she was falling to the ground.
Tears blinded her; they ran down her face and intermingled with the wet dew on her dressing gown as she leaned against a supporting tree; they were running for Tom�for the life he was facing now�
The lake waters she was fixedly staring at rippled softly as a small bird skimmed the top of it and flew off into the distance. She gazed at it until it flew behind a cloud and was hidden from her sight.
Lily didn�t even notice that someone had caught up with her until he slipped his arm through hers. �What�s wrong?�
She turned to him, not bothering to wipe her tears away. �I don�t suppose you would take the excuse �Nothing�, would you?�
James put an arm around her shoulders. �If it makes you happy, sure, I�ll accept it.�
Lily was surprised; she took a step back and passed her hand across her eyes, removing the waterfalls in her eyelashes. �Why aren�t you tormenting me for a reason?�
�You don�t look in the mood for it,� he said simply.
She wasn�t crying any more, but in gratefulness, she let her head bury itself in his shoulder, and both of them stayed there, almost unmoving; the only thing that separate them from wax figures was the continual small, quick breaths Lily was taking in, trying to stop, but not being able to.
Finally, when she had calmed down, Lily turned away again, almost as if she were embarrassed to be seen while she was at one of the weakest points in her life. �Why did you follow me?�
�I figured something was wrong.� He didn�t try to turn her around, and Lily was thankful for that. �I was worried, that�s all.�
She nodded vaguely and he could tell she wasn�t absorbing anything he had just said; her eyes were fixed on the rising sun.
Suddenly, she pivoted to face him, holding onto his arm with a death grip, one that almost made him lose the feeling in it.
�It�s Tom. I can�t help it�you have no idea what he�s facing, how much he loved Litharelen�and now she�s gone, and the first thing he was living for is destroyed. I�I�m glad now he desperately wants power, otherwise this would consume him, eat away at him; he�d leave the world and sit somewhere, cut off from all people, waiting to die, helping the process if it didn�t go quickly enough.�
She took a deep breath and went on. �I know he�s a murderer, James, but no matter what he�s done, he�s a person, too. He loved her�so much it hurt.�
Lily finally looked at him, not through him, and smiled slightly, releasing her grip on his arm. �I know I�ve never loved, and I know you�re being skeptical of what I tell you, since you think I�m making this up�James, even murderers can feel, and this one is almost past the brink. He�s in trouble. I don�t care what he did�no human deserves a fate like he�s facing.�
�Hey!� James took her chin in his hand. �I did not say I didn�t believe you."
He looked at her eyes for a split second, trying to summon up the courage he thought was buried somewhere in him. Then he almost exploded inside.
Oh, go to hell with courage! Go ahead! Who knows�yeah, exactly, who knows? You prat�you idiot, you might not have another chance�
He couldn�t do it. He couldn�t. What if she hated him from this day forth�but then again, why should she? It wasn�t as if he was blowing up Hogwarts�go on, she might want you to�is that why she�s not moving? Or is she just waiting for an answer�and is she going to hate me for all eternity�oh, what the hell!
He didn�t care anymore�didn�t care if this would blow up the whole stinking globe�not now. Not now. Maybe he�d regret it later, but every single thought of remorse was banned from entering his conscious thoughts.
Slowly, he leaned forward�the world was rushing and whirling in his ears�almost�
