"Could the traffic be any more backed up?" Chandler rested his chin on the steering wheel and
glared at the taxi in front of him. Even if it wasn't his baby being born, Chandler definitely wanted
to be there to give Monica moral support during her birth-giving.
The taxi moved, pulling Chandler out of his thoughts, only to brake three inches later. Chandler sighed.

"You have a beautiful baby boy, Monica." The nurse slid the bundle of joy into Monica's waiting arms. Tears of happiness streamed down her face as Monica gazed lovingly at her little boy. "Dereck," she murmured. "How would you like that?"
"We need to cut his umbilical cord," the nurse reminded her. "Or will his father be doing that when he gets here?"
Monica sighed. "I'm not sure he's coming." She handed Dereck to the nurse and tightly shut her eyes. Up till now she hadn't given Chandler a thought, concentrating primarily on Dereck. but she wondered now why he wasn't here. Stuck in a meeting? Monica doubted it. Traffic? no. The way Chandler had rushed them to the hospital the day Joelana was born proved that he could avoid traffic. As Dereck was replaced in Monica's arms, another thought passed through the barriers-chandler didn't want to be here at all. Although Chandler didn't seem to be that way, the thought defeated all other possibilities. Soon it had Monica convinced that the father of her children didn't believe that he was actually he father.
The thought took over Monica's mind so that by the time chandler finally arrived an hour later, she was quite frankly pissed.
"Oh, Monica you're all right." Chandler gasped for air as if he had been running quite a distance.
Monica ignored the gasps. "Yes. This is Dereck, Chandler." As Chandler came closer, Monica hissed, "Where the heck have you been?"
"Oh, you should have seen the traffic," Chandler said, stroking Dereck's cheek.
"What a load of crap." Monica rolled her eyes. "You weren't going to come-admit it-because you don't believe that this beautiful baby is Dereck Bing."
"Oh come off it, Mon," Chandler laughed. "Of course he isn't Dereck Bing. And of course I wanted to be here for you."
"You can't have one without the other," Monica retorted, yanking her son away from Chandler. Dereck awoke, sobbing. "Now see what you've done."
"I haven't done a thing, monica. Do you have to keep lying to me? There is no possible way that Dereck is my son. And I forgive you. I guess I was mistaken when I thought sometime we would get back together. And that's okay-"
"You forgive me?" Monica cried, nursing the crying child. "Oh, come on. What did I do that required forgiveness? And Chandler, I knew you wanted me back. I thought Dereck would be the key to that. Two children whom we both love; we loved each other, what more would we need? At first I was afraid to tell you about Dereck, for that precise reason. But, I thought, it wasn't fair to do to you what I did ten years ago. And now look where you've pushed me. Back to that position."
Chandler heard nothing after "we loved each other." "Loved?" Chandler whispered. "I still love you, Monica. More than anything else. I always have loved you that much. If what it takes is for me to love and raise your son, I will. Anything, Mon. Anything." Chandler's eyes pleaded with hers.
Monica sadly shook her head. "Things would never be the same, Chandler."
Chandler had never felt so overcome with guilt, fear, anger, grief, love, hate. his face grew hot and tears blinded his vision as he groped for the door handle. The door slammed behind him. And Monica broke down in tears...of something besides happiness.

Alex gazed at the little blond-headed child with love in her eyes. “He’s so cute,” Alex cooed. “I love him, I love him to bits and pieces!”
“So do I, so do I.” Monica rubbed her daughter’s back and glanced at Chandler.
“Do you love him, Daddy? Could you be any prouder?”
“She gets that from you,” Monica said quickly, smiling.
“Um…of course I love him. Anyone that you and Monica love, I love. But, of course, princess, you know that I love you more, don’t worry.”
“What?” Alex stared at him in surprise, her heart pounding quickly. “How can you love me more? Parents are supposed to love their kids the same. Jane’s parents love her brother the same as they love her…” Alex’s questioning voice broke off.
It almost broke Chandler’s heart, as he gazed into his daughter’s hopeful eyes. But he had to explain to her the facts. “Yes, sweetie, but you’re my only child. Dereck isn’t my son. So, while I love him, I love you more, of course, because you’re my actual daughter. Just like I love Aunt Rachel, but I love your mother more because of our history.”
“That’s all right,” Alex whispered, backing away from her dad and clinging on to Monica. “But Mommy told me that you’re Dereck’s dad. And I believe her. You’re lying. You know it’s the truth, but for some reason you don’t want him…or us.”
Alex turned and ran up the staircase, skipping stairs as she hurried away. Chandler felt his heart leaving along with her.

Smiling at the crowd of reporters, Chandler took a seat in front of them. “Welcome,” Chandler greeted them.
“Mr. Bing,” one reporter asked, “How do you think you’re latest movie will do in the box office?”
“Well, what can I say?” Chandler laughed. “I hope it does well. The actors are all great and so was the story line.”
“Is it true that you turned down a script from Nathan Turner?” another reporter questioned. Nathan Turner was one of the best script writers of the time.
“No, not yet,” Chandler laughed again. “I am discussing with him one of his scripts.”
“What about Dereck,” a third questioned. “Is he really yours?”
“Unfortunately, no,” Chandler shook his head. “We’re not quite sure who the father is at the moment.”
“But I thought,” another reporter interjected. “Didn’t Monica, Miss. Geller, say that it was yours?!”
“No,” Chandler shook his head. “Sorry.”

By the next day, a long day at school, Alex’s excitement over the baby had overcome her anger at Chandler, and she came home cheery and happy. Besides, it was snowing out, and snow-time was her favourite time of year.
As Alex mixed herself a mug of swirling hot chocolate, topped off with whipped cream, she wondered where her parents were. She bet her mom was sleeping, and Dereck would be too. But where was her dad? Usually he was waiting for her.
Alex finished off her hot chocolate and wiped her mouth on her sleeve.
“Da-ad!” she called. The front door shot with a loud bang, and Alex followed the sound. “Dad?”
“Right here, princess!” Just as Alex had predicted, it was her father that was just entering the house.
“Where were you, Daddy?” Alex looked at Chandler curiously. He was hardly dressed for the weather: a casual but obscenely expensive sweater and pair of khakis, with his full-length jacket draped over his arm. Why had he been outdoors?
“Just outside,” Chandler said non-chalantly, pulling off his shoes and hanging his coat on the hat tree. “You want to play Nintendo?”
“Er…” Alex had just glanced out the window when she noticed a dark figure out of the corner of her eye. “Not just right now. I’m gonna go play outside.”
“Want to have a snowball fight?” Chandler grinned. “I’m ready to get wet…”
“No thanks, Dad.” Alex’s intrigued side overcame her want to play with Chandler. “I feel like playing by myself right now.”
“Okay, Alex. Have fun.” Chandler kissed Alex and left her to get dressed up to go outside.
Once out in the yard, Alex tiptoed to the area in which she’d noticed the mysterious figure.
A curious voice came from behind her: “What kind of, how do you say? Crap? Did he tell you, Alex?”
Alex whirled around. “Oh, Lionel! It’s you! I thought you were a mysterious figure!”
“I am a mysterious figure,” Lionel agreed modestly. “What did Chandler tell you when he came inside?”
“Just that he had been outside.” Alex shrugged.
“Why? Oh, do you want to build a snowman with me?” Now that her curiosity about the mysterious figure had been satisfied, she wanted to get into the snow!
Lionel shook his head. “Not the right kind of snow for that. Well…I was just wondering, because I saw him talking to-“
Lionel paused dramatically and Alex tugged at his coat impatiently. “Well? Who was he talking to? Who?”
“…a girl.”
“A girl? What kind of a girl?” Alex’s eyes begged with Lionel’s. Her curiosity had been tweaked again. “Was it Mom?”
“You mean Miss Geller? No, not that kind of a girl. A…a blond girl.”
“A blond? What kind of a blond? Was it Phoebe?”
“You mean Miss Lombard? No, no, not that kind of a blond. A…a ditsy blond.”
“Well, Aunt Phoebe is kind of a ditz,” Alex pointed out. “But I think I get your drift. Do you think he’s dating her?”
Lionel glanced around nervously. “Er, I’ve said too much already. I think you’ll find out for yourself. Now how’s about that snowman?”
“But you just said…” Alex looked at Lionel puzzedly, then surrendered. She knew she would never get anymore info from him. “Well, okay!”

Arriving home from school later that week, Alex was surprised to find her dad sitting with a blonde female in the living room. She was going to sneak away, but her dad noticed her first.
“Alex,” Chandler called out. “Come meet Kirsten.”
“Who are you?” Alex questioned innocently, stepping into the room.
“Chandler,” Kirsten laughed and hit him on the arm. “You didn’t tell them?”
“Um, no?” Chandler replied feebly. “Sorry.”
“Tell me what?” Alex asked. She was starting to get curious. What was going on here?
“Um, Alex, Kirsten’s my girlfriend,” Chandler watched, his heart breaking at the look of udder pain on Alex’s face.
“Your, your girlfriend?” Alex couldn’t believe her dad. Tears forming in her eyes, she ran out of the room.
“Great,” Chandler shook his head. “Just great.”

Running into her mom’s bedroom, Alex found her reading a book calmly. Alex, tears streaming down her face jumped onto her mom’s bed and into her mom’s arms.
“What’s wrong Alex?” Monica asked, rubbing her daughters back. “Did something happen at school?”
“No,” Alex sobbed. “Have you seen daddy today?”
“No,” Monica shook her head. “Not since this morning. I know he came home later but there was a voice with him so I figured I better not interrupt. Why, is he missing?”
“No,” Alex tried to calm herself down. “He’s out there, but he’s DATING someone. He’s got a GIRLFRIEND!”
“What?” Monica asked, trying not to show her anguish to Alex. “Are you sure?”
“Uh huh,” Alex nodded. “He told me so.”

"Oh, I'm sorry, Chandler. I wasn't aware that you had company."
When Monica entered, she realized this may be more serious than she first thought. Alex was so upset about this girlfriend person. And if she was going to be hanging around, acting inappropriately in front of Alex-
"Oh!" Monica, it's all right. This is Kirsten. Kirsten, meet Monica."
"Nice to meet you, Kristen." Monica smiled tiredly as she held out her hand.
Kirsten ignored the out-stretched hand. "It's Kirsten."
"I'm terribly sorry." Monica faked the humble statement. "Well I'm sure you two are thirsty. Can I make you some coffee?"
"I don't drink coffee," Kirsten replied in a bored voice. "I just can't understand people that hang out in coffeehouses all day. I's such a waste, and besides that, it stains your teeth."
"Can I offer you anything else?" Monica asked politely.
"Oh, no, Mon-" Chandler started.
"Don't exert yourself," Kirsten interrupted. "I, er, heard about your new baby. Besides, I'll be leaving soon. I'm here on purely a matter of business."
"Yeah, monkey business," Monica said to herself through gritted teeth as she left the room. She headed up the stairs. Dereck was crying.

The next morning, Monica dragged herself downstairs to make breakfast for Alex. It had been a long night, to put it mildly. And with no one to help her with Dereck-
"Oh! Kristen." Monica was only a little surprised to see that Kirsten was still hanging around.
"Kirsten."
"So sorry. Um...what are you doing in the kitchen? And isn't that, er, Chandler's robe?"
"I'm making breakfast. I already fed little Alexis. She was really hungry, and really loved my breakfast. And, yes, this is chandler's. Oh, I'm sorry. Does this bother you? Chandler told me the whole story. Oh my God-you look, look absolutely haggard! And what is wrong with your eyes?"
"For one thing, I was up all night," Monica replied coldly, tired of putting up an act.
"Oh, yes, the baby. Well I guess that happens when you cheat, et cetera. Chandler is a dream, isn't he?"
"He was a lot more of a dream when i was first dating him."
"yes, I suppose you would have taken quite a bit out of him," Kirsten replied dryly. "By the way, could you please feed Sweep? Chandler asked me to, but I hate dogs, especially border collies. bad experience as a child, you know. Oh, I'm sorry, would you like an anchovy omelette?"
"Er, no thanks. Is that what you made? I'll go feed Sweep." Monica went out on the porch and stared at Sweep's food dish. It was filled with a cold anchovy omelette. Monica couldn't help but grin. She went back into the kitchen and poured a bowl of Lucky Charms for Alex.
"Lucky Charms?" Kirsten raised one tiny, pointed eyebrow. "For you?"
"For Alex," Monica replied. "It seems she hoped Sweep was hungrier than she was."
As Monica walked out, satisfied, Kirsten glanced out the window and gasped.

Chandler awoke with a start. It took him a moment to realize where he was…the window was on the wrong side for it to be his bedroom…what was that over there? A toilet? Oh, the bathroom. Why was he in the bathroom? Chandler sat up to get a better perspective, only to notice Kirsten lying beside him. He raised his eyebrows, then jumped as it all came back to him. He moaned. This wasn’t even his bathroom…it was none other than Monica’s. He remembered…Kirsten had seduced him to this room when Monica had left her bed to go feed Dereck. What had he been thinking?
And now there was no way out. Chandler stood and wrapped himself in a fluffy forest green towel. Turning the door handle, he prayed Monica was asleep. “Mental note to self,” he muttered. “Never again give Mon a bedroom with an adjoining bath.”
“What are you doing in here?” Alex’s voice took him by surprise.
He turned to see her lying in the bed beside Monica. Her eyes were red from crying.
“I, um…wanted to see if you were okay. Um…you had a nightmare, right? That’s why you’re in here?”
“Yup.”
Chandler breathed a sigh of relief and patted Alex’s head as she drifted carelessly off. He was just too lucky. Monica was asleep, Alex and Dereck on either side of her warm, loving body…if Chandler could get any luckier, he would be there too-with his family. “No, no, no!” he chided himself. “Alex-Alex is my only family.”
The thought disgruntled him. If Alex was his only family, and she was drifting away from him…what was he to do? Kirsten certainly did not make up for Alex, Monica, and Dereck.
“Dereck is not mine!” Chandler chided himself again, leaving the room. “He is not mine.”
The next morning, Alex announced at the breakfast table: “Kirsten sleepwalks. She ended up in Mommy’s bathroom!”
Kirsten glared at Chandler, Chandler shrugged, and Monica raised her eyebrows at the exchange. Lionel gave a disapproving look from a dark corner.

"Chandler, can I talk to you?"
"Oh, Mon!" Sure, what's up?"
"We need to talk about me, Alex, Dereck, you and Kristen."
"Kirsten."
"Whatever. I really don't care what her name is. But Alex is going insane living with that woman hanging over us all with her border collie hatred anchovy disgusting omelette and getting all over you-it's awful for her."
"Monica, I would quite agree with you...if it weren't for Dereck."
"What?"
"Well, you know, if you took Alex away from me to live with Dereck's father, she would be completely heartbroken. You'll just have to accept that I'm in love again, and it's not with you."
"Chandler, I will tell you one more time-" Monica's voice hit a high note in anger.
"I know, I know. Dereck is my son. Whatever. I'll believe it when I see it."
"Well read it and weep, buddy boy," Monica shouted, thrusting some papers in Chandler's face.. "Dereck's birth certificate. Mother: Monica Geller. Father: Chandler Bing."
Chandler stared at the papers a moment before reaching a decision of what to say to Monica. "You registered him incorrectly now? You've gone too far this time, Monica."
Monica shook her head, tears filling her eyes, and she fell on to the couch, sobbing. This surprised Chandler.
"Oh...I'm-I'm sorry, Mon. Monica. I-shh. Stop crying. I'm sorry." He knelt beside her and stroked her hair lovingly. Monica sniffled and looked into his eyes.
"Chandler. you believed me right off when I told you that you were Alex's father. what is it that makes you mistrust me now, after we've been so close for two years? What is it?"
Chandler stood and glared down at Monica's limp body. "And pray tell me Mrs. Bing-I, I mean Miss Geller, wouldn't I remember if I was about to have another kid"
"I didn't remember either...Chandler, I can't explain. I think we're going to move back to our apartment. Things have settled down with the crowds since the filming is done, and we still have Faith watching Alex-there's just no reason to live here and torture ourselves watching you two."
"Suit yourself," Chandler said lightly, "but don't come crawling to me, because you brought it upon yourself."

“Daddy, what are you doing?”
Alex’s voice startled Chandler. He stared at her sweet face, creased with worry. Her mannerisms reminded him of little Cindy-Lou from Who-Ville in that age-old story ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas.’
“Why? Why, Sandy Claus, why are you taking away our Christmas tree? Why?”
Alex looked so much like little Cindy-Lou that Chandler almost laughed aloud. The pick nightgown, the fuzzy slippers, the innocent voice, the worried face. Then Chandler was reminded of reality.
“Um…nothin…” Chandler stuttered nervously.
“Then what are you doing with Sweep? You can’t take her for a walk when you’re still in your pajamas!”
“Oh, princess…oh, how can I explain this? Um…Kirsten is afraid of dogs, and a little more than terrified of border collies like Sweep.”
“So?” Alex looked up at Chandler. “What are you going to do with her??”
“Nothing too bad, Alex, I’m just taking her to the pound.”
Alex was so distraught by this news that she could not reply even if she tried. Tears came to her eyes.
“Now don’t be too upset, princess. Someone will buy her. She’s still really young and is a really nice, beautiful, polite girl. She’s-“
“I know what she is!” Alex cried out. “That’s why she’s so perfect!”
Alex stared into her father’s eyes. What had ever possessed him to be so cruel…and to his dog?
“I know,” Chandler said quietly. “But Kirsten is afraid of Sweep, and there’s nothing I can do but either send her to the pound or give her away.”
Alex began to sob. “Well then for Heavens’ sake, give her away! Darren loves dogs, and Jane’s family breeds dogs…Sam loves Sweep too-I know she would want a dog-I just don’t see how you can do this to her, to me!”
Alex swivelled on her heel and ran blindly away.
“He gave her a glass of water and sent her off to bed,” Chandler murmured, shaking his head. He gave Sweep and loving pat between the ears, and flopped down on the bench beside her.

"Going somewhere?" Kirsten looked down at Alex, throwing some belongings into a blue suitcase.
"Yes," Alex replied. "Me and Mommy are going back to our apartment to live."
"really. How interesting." Kirsten stared thoughtfully out the window for a moment before turning to go.
"Chandler, dear!" Kirsten called.
"In here." Chandler's voice came from his study.
"Oh, darling!" Kirsten dropped herself in Chandler's lap and ran her fingers through his hair. "I didn't know my little idea had such an effect on you. it's so good of you to think of me so-kicking them out of the house that way."
"Daddy." Alex appeared at the door. She looked uncomfortably away from Kirsten and Chandler. "Um...is this game yours or mine? I can't remember. We both had copies."
Chandler took the N64 game cartridge in his hands and turned it over. "It's yours. See? i etched your initials here."
"Oh yeah. Thanks, Dad."
Alex ran out of the study and raced to her mother's room, where Monica was singing to Dereck and rocking back and forth.
"Mom? I need to talk to you."
"Sure, sweetie. Sit down."
"Mom, when you said you and Dad had worked things out and the best thing to do was move back home..."
"Yes, honey>"
Alex drew in a breath of air. "Is Daddy kicking us out of the house on purpose?"
Monica laid Dereck down and pulled Alex into her lap. "Honey, no. It was my idea in the first place. Daddy wants us to stay. But he agrees that if I think this is the best, it's what we should do."
"But I just heard Dad and Kirsten talking about how she had told him to kick us out."
"Don't you listen to her." Monica shook her head. "Even if she did suggest it to him, he probably didn't even think about it until I brought it up. I'll go talk to Kirsten about it. I've had some things I'd like to get of my chest anyway."
Monica sucked in a breath of air as she walked along to corridor to Chandler's study. Kirsten was alone. Monica breathed a sigh of relief.
"Kristen! I've been meaning to talk to you."
"All right." Kirsten put her feet up on Chandler's desk and took out a nail file. "Ready when you are."
Monica leaned over and grabbed the nail file. "Listen, Miss Kirsten, I'm going to talk, and you are going to listen carefully. Now I want to tell you first of all, you realize that Chandler is only dating you to get back at me."
"Oh, I don't care." Kirsten took her feet of the desk and grabbed her nail file. "As long as the-"
"I told you that you would listen!" Monica shouted, taking the nail file back. "Even since you dropped yourself on our doorstep you hae been nothing but hell for my daughter. And to be perfectly frank, people that harm her will get nothing but hell from me. So here goes: first of all, seeing you date Chandler makes me realize how he could ever see anything in Janice!"
"Janice?"
"Janice." Monica tossed the nail file into the trash and began riffling through Chandler's drawers. "And here is her picture!"
"Oh my God! What a dog!"
Monica nodded, smiling thinly. Kirsten's hand flew to her mouth.
"You're calling her better than me?"
"You got it. Now second of all-"
"Monica! Kirsten!" As Chandler entered, Monica discarded the photo. "It's nice to see you two conversing," Chandler went on.
"It's nice to see you and Alex conversing once in a while," Monica retorted. "Chandler, you have barely spoken to your daughter in the past few days. If you insist on having only one woman in your life, don't you think it should at least be her?"
"I-I-"
"You're speechless, I see," Monica pressed on. "I was speechless when I first met Kirsten too. Maybe you're not the problem. Maybe she is." Monica glared at Kirsten. Kirsten tossed her head. "I guess I'll go finish packing. The sooner we're out of here, the better for all of us."
As Monica stalked out, Chandler cried out. "Mon!"
"Oh, forget her," Monica heard Kirsten say. "You have me now."
Monica shook her head. Then she muttered, "But he's losing the three people he loves most."

“Alex?” Chandler called out as he walked through his house. He eventually found her sitting on her bed staring at her now bare walls.
“Oh, hi dad,” Alex said when Chandler sat down beside her. “You know, I’m going to miss this house.”
“Well,” Chandler smiled. “I’m going to miss having you two here.”
“What about Dereck?” Alex questioned. “There’s three of us, not two.”
“Well, it’ll be nice to have some peace and quiet, no one screaming at two in the morning,” Chandler joked. “I’ll miss him too Al. I’ve never lived with a baby before. I mean, I missed that part of your life.”
“I wish you’d been there,” Alex sighed. “It would have been nice growing  up with a dad.”
“It would have been fun to have you around,” Chandler nodded. “It’s too bad that Monica couldn’t trust me back then. But I don’t blame her, I probably wouldn’t have myself. So are you excited about moving back home?”
“Well, kind of,” Alex nodded. “I miss my old bedroom. But I’ll miss having you around all the time.” Alex then added under her breath. “But I won’t miss Kirsten.”
“Did you say something?” Chandler asked.
“No,” Alex shook her head. “Did you want something though?”
“Actually, yeah,” Chandler nodded. “How would you like to have a dog?”
“A dog?” Alex asked.
“Yeah, Sweep,” Chandler said. “Kirsten doesn’t really like dogs and I know that both you and Mon really like Sweep.”
“I’d love Sweep!” Alex threw her arms around her dad in a hug. After a moment she pulled back. “Did you ask mom?”
“Not yet,” Chandler grimaced. “What do you think she’ll say?”
“Yes,” Monica said from the doorway. Alex and Chandler both glanced up surprised.. “I was just coming to ask Alex if she was almost done. And about Sweep, we’d love her. I’d probably go mad thinking that Kirsten was probably mistreating her.”
“Great,” Chandler stood up. “Well I’ve got to go.”
“Where are you going dad?” Alex asked. “I thought you’d be here to say good bye.”
“I can’t,” Chandler said sorrowfully. “I promised Kirsten that we’d go out for dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow though Alex. We’ll do something special.”
“Fine,” Alex lowered her eyes to the floor. She didn’t want her dad to see her crying. “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Chandler gave her a quick hug good bye and then started out of the room. Passing Monica he said good bye quickly. Monica said good bye to his retreating figure.
“I’m sorry Al,” Monica told her daughter, joining her on the bed. “It’s my fault that he’s like this. If I hadn’t had Dereck...”
“Mom, you were pregnant, there was nothing you could do,” Alex told Monica. “I would be hating you, if you had gotten an abortion instead. I love Dereck!”
“I know you do sweetie,” Monica said softly. “I do too.”

"It's kind of nice to be home," Alex admitted, breathing in a bunch of dust and sneezing.
"Bless you. I'm sorry, Alex," Monica sighed. "Ohh, I love you so much." Monica kissed Alex's nose and stared at her daughter lovingly. "Thank you for being so understanding and grown up about this."
The phone rang. "Oh! Our first phone call."
"What if it's the media?" Alex pointed out.
"Then I'll give them what's coming to them. Watch Dereck for me, please, sweetheart." Monica grabbed the receiver. "Hello? Geller residence."
Alex looked down at her feet, ashamed that she had ever changed her surname to Bing.
"Monica? Is that you?" A male's voice came over the other side of the line.
"Yes...who's this?"
"Rob Gellar. You remember me?"
"Oh my God! Rob! Of course!"
Alex peeked over at her mother. Rob was a guy's name.
"So how have you been? Oh! I guess you don't know the big news-a new addition to my family!"
"Mon, the whole world knows," Rob said dryly. "Congratulations, et cetera!"
"Thanks, Rob," Monica laughed.
"Listen, I'm in New York. I just moved up here. You're the only person I know, so I thought I'd call you up."
"You're in New York?" Monica gasped. "Well how did that happen? What happened to baseball coach?"
"Well we haven't talked in so long...it will take forever to explain. Why don't we talk over dinner?"
"Oh, great! Do you want to come over here, Rob? Since you're just settling in, that would probably be easier for you. And we shouldn't go out...you know, because of Alex."
Alex rolled her eyes. Ohh, they couldn't go out because of Alex, huh?
"Okay. As long as you set two extra places. One for my little boy."
"You have a son?" Monica gasped.
"And you thought you had a surprise for me!" Rob laughed. "What time should I be there?"
"Come for six," Monica decided. "Here's my address."

"Monica, this is my son, Lawrence. He's six."
"Hi, Lawrence! I'm Monica. Would you like to meet my kids?"
"Yeah! Do you have someone I can play with?" Lawrence asked excitedly.
"Yes, my little daughter, Alex. She's older than you, and she's not home right now, but I'm sure she'll want to play with you when she gets back. But this little guy in my arms is Dereck."
"Awwww," Rob cooed. "He's the sweetest little guy I've seen since Lawrence!"
Lawrence grinned and touched Dereck's hand. "He's so soft."
"Yes, he is," Monica said, smiling at Lawrence's seriousness. "Come on in to the kitchen, dinner's almost ready. I've already set the table."
"Everything is so nice, Mon, you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble."
"It's no trouble. Sit down." Monica set Dereck in his playpen, then went over to the oven and turned it off. "So what brings you to New York?"
"I guess I should start at the beginning. I got married about six months after we first met. A woman named Tracie Dyba who was a goddess. A true goddess."
"The Tracie you told me about?"
"Not the Tracie I told you about. Definitely not her. But we fell in love at first sight, married two months later...she was supporting me. I didn't make so much money being assistant baseball coach. She died three years ago. Lawrence doesn't really remember her...after she died I had to support Lawrence somehow, so I got a higher paying job at a local bank. I worked my way up to assistant manager, and eventually got transferred here. So here I am."
"Mom! I'm home!"
"How was being at Daddy's, sweetheart?"
"Fine," Alex yelled, not feeling so fine.
"We're in the kitchen, Alex. Our guests are here!"
"Great." Alex rolled her eyes. "Rob, I suppose." Alex entered the kitchen warily. "Oh! You have a kid!"
"Alex, this is Rob and the little one is Lawrence. He's six years old. Rob and Lawrence, this is my daughter Alex."
"Hi, Alex!" Lawrence said. "Will you play with me?"
"Sure! Have you ever played N64?"
"No, but it sounds like fun!" Lawrence followed Alex from the room.
"I'm sorry about your wife," Monica said.
"Don't worry about it, Monica, it's not your fault. She's still with me, in a way, because I believe I'm a better person because of her...you know how it is when you've lost someone. You would know better than others, I suppose, after the whole to do with Chandler."
"Yeah. Hey! Didn't you know I was living at Chandler's house and just moved back here yesterday?"
"No, I didn't! Wow, I can't believe you kept that from the press!" Rob was impressed. "The press is a nasty business, I should know, because of Josie."
"How's she doing, anyway?" Monica asked.
"She's great. Her marriage with Sam is very happy. And I have a three year old niece. Her name is Rayanne."
"Do they still live in Chicago?"
"Yep. So how are things with Chandler? I haven't exactly been keeping up with everything that's going on."
"Oh, awful. Just terrible. All the problems started last Thanksgiving. Our friends Alicia and Andrew threw this huge bash and we both got so drunk. Dereck happened then, if you will. But we were so drunk that neither of us remembered what had happened in the morning. I finally remembered when I took the pregnancy test, but when I told Chandler, he practically disowned the baby. I was so upset! He believed me after eight years just automatically that Alex was his child, but when I told him about Dereck, he blamed me for going out and having an affair, and that now I was lying to him...then after Dereck was born he got himself a girlfriend to get back at me and my make believe lover. Ooh, that woman is evil. She drove me and Alex near mad living in that house with them. So a few days ago, I broke the news to Chandler, that we were moving back here. He loves us, but he just let us go! I was almost as disgusted about that as I was disgusted about Kirsten! It's going to be just horrible, having to see him again, and he has ruined Alex's confidence in him. I just don't know what to do."
"Um..." Rob stood up. "I know you're mad, but if you slice that roast beef any more there won't be any left."
"Oh, man. I'm sorry, Rob. It must be so much worse to actually lose someone forever."
"Not really." Rob patted Monica's shoulder. "At least I'm sure that Tracie has gone to a better place. And you can be absolutely positive that Chandler has gone to a worse place."

“Alex!” Darren shouted across the lobby of the movie theatre. He’d been waiting for what seemed like forever for Alex to show up. He ran over to her.
“Hey Darren,” Alex greeted him. She frowned, looking down at the dress she was wearing. “I can’t believe my mom made me wear this.”
“I know what you mean,” Darren looked down at his own outfit, a suit. “I thought that famous people should be allowed to wear what they wanted.”
“Hey,” Alex had been looking around. “This is boring. I thought it’d be exciting. You know, famous movie people, etc.”
“I know what you mean,” Darren nodded. “This would be funner if more kids came. But we’re the main kids in the movie and the movie’s based on adults so...”
“Well, there’s got to be something we can do that’s funner,” Alex said looking around.
“Well, the only thing I ever do is by candy and eat,” Darren laughed. “There’s never anything better to do.”
“Let’s go get candy then,” Alex replied. “My mom gave me some money.”
“Same,” Darren reached his hand into his pocket and brought out some money. “My mom always gives me some when we come. Otherwise I spend the whole time complaining.”
Smiling at each other, Darren and Alex headed over to the counter and quickly bought a lot of candy. They then found a place where no one would see them and sat down.
“So how come your mom didn’t come?” Darren asked, sticking a piece of licorice in his mouth.
“She didn’t want to,” Alex sighed. “She doesn’t like to be near my dad anymore. Not since he started dating Kirsten! I guess I can understand that. I don’t really like being around him when Kirsten’s around and even some of the other times that’s all he talks about. Besides, my mom said that she didn’t want to bring Dereck and that it would be better if she stayed home.”
“That sucks,” Darren nodded. “Kirsten’s weird. She’s always all over my dad if Chandler’s not around. I think she’s just after money.”
“I know,” Alex paused. “It’s my dad that doesn’t see it.”
“Maybe it’s not that,” Darren shook his head. “Maybe he thinks your mom was cheating on him because of Dereck.”
“But my mom swears that Dereck’s is his,” Alex protested.
“I know that,” Darren replied. “Its Chandler who doesn’t believe that! Is your mom coming to Chandler’s after for the party?”
“Yeah, she’s got to pick me up,” Alex nodded. “I think she wants to talk with him again too.”
“Well lets hope he listens to her,” Darren crossed his fingers.
“Darren, Alex, there you two are,” they glanced up to see Chandler, with Kirsten on his arm, standing above them.
“Guilty,” Alex raised her hands.
“Come on, it’s going to start soon,” Chandler told them. They nodded and watched with fake smiles as Kirsten and Chandler walked away.

"Hello, Lionel. I'm here for Alex." Monica stood on the doorstep to Chandler's mansion, shivering.
"Come in, Miss Geller," Lionel said politely. Then, before he went to fetch Alex and Chandler, he warned, "Beware. Mr. Bing has had a lot to drink."
Monica laughed politely, wondering what was with this butler. Then, when she saw Chandler, she realized that this was no ordinary butler. This was a know-all, see-all butler. Hmm. He could probably come to some use someday.
"Monica!"
"Mommy!" Alex flew to Monica's side.
"How was the movie, sweetie?"
"Great! But a little boring."
Monica laughed.
Lionel slipped Alex's coat around her and handed Alex her shoes. "Buster Brown?" Lionel clicked his tongue. To Monica, he said, "She is ten years old, is she not?"
After Alex had done up her shoes, Monica requested that she sit in the car while she had a little chat with Chandler. "I left the motor running, so it'll be warm. The radio's on too."
"Thanks, Mom! Bye, Dad!"
Alex threw her arms around her dad. Chandler returned the hug, but seemed to be in another world. "Good bye, princess! 'Love you!"
Monica stared at Lionel a few minutes before he caught on. "I've got to go, um...bye!"
"Chandler!" Monica hissed harshly. "You've been drinking Scotch!"
"So what if I have?" Chandler returned defensively. "And, um, how do you know?"
"I know the smell."
"You would."
Monica glared at the stranger in front of her. "What is wrong with you? Champagne I would understand, celebrating the movie. But other drinks? With Alex and Darren around? I knew I could not stand to live with you, but I at least thought that I could trust you, Chandler! I feel like I don't even know you anymore, maybe I never knew you. Maybe you were always this person inside-"
"What harm is a little to drink?" Chandler demanded. "Don't get carried away with your other feelings when any little thing goes wrong. Now, it was just a little something to liven things up a bit! Can't you understand that?"
"No, I can't understand that, and perhaps I will never understand you either! You can save the livening up until after the children are gone!" Monica shouted out of anger and frustration.
Kirsten joined Chandler and Monica in the foyer. "Monica!" she cooed, slipping her arm around Chandler and resting her head on his shoulder. "How nice to see you again!"
"Well it's not nice to see you," Monica growled.
"Chandler! Are you gonna stand for her to talk to me that way?" Chandler didn't seem to acknowledge his girlfriend's damsel in distress act. He was staring forlornly at Monica.
Monica didn't seem to acknowledge her old (ex) friend's need for her.
Kirsten didn't seem to acknowledge her arch enemy's hateful eyes peering at her. Instead, Kirsten whispered something in Chandler's ear, giggling, and then trotted off.
Chandler stared at Monica for a few moments longer, then turned away, defeated.
Monica slammed the door behind her as she left the Bing residence. "One of these days," Monica decided hatefully, "I will get back at Chandler for what he has done to my family. One of these days."

“Hello?” Chandler picked up the phone. Lionel had the day off.
“Chandler?” Monica asked.
“Monica? Is something wrong?” Chandler asked.
“No,” Monica shook her head, forgetting he couldn’t see her. “Why would you think that?”
“It’s just that you seemed pretty mad at me,” Chandler replied. “I didn’t think you would talk to me unless something was wrong.”
“Well,” Monica answered. “I’m still mad, but I’ve kind of got a problem. You see, this Saturday I’ve got a catering job and neither Ben nor Brook can babysit for me.”
“I can look after Alex,” Chandler said quickly. “I’ve been wanting to spend time with her lately.”
“I was pretty sure that you wouldn’t mind taking care of her,” Monica said gratefully. “But my problem still remains. I need someone to look after Dereck.”
“Oh,” Chandler didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to volunteer, but he felt bad refusing.
“Yeah,” Monica agreed. “Do you think you could stand spending a day with him? It’d only be for about five hours.” When Chandler didn’t answer Monica continued. “Please Chandler. Just as a friend.”
“Fine,” Chandler finally agreed. “But only as a friend.”
“Thanks,” Monica smiled slightly. “I’ll drop them off around four.”
“Okay,” Chandler replied. “I’ll see you then.”

“Thanks for taking them,” Monica told Chandler, handing Dereck over to him. “I really appreciate this.”
“But remember, this is only as a friend,” Chandler pointed to Dereck.
“I know, I know,” Monica sighed. “I’ve got to run. Bye Alex, Dereck.” She gave the two kids a kiss on the cheek and turned and left.
“So Al,” Chandler turned to his daughter. “How would you like to get together with Darren?” Without waiting for an answer, he continued. “Cos Alicia said she’d take you two skating. Come on.”
Chandler, carrying Dereck and his car seat, headed over to his new BMW. Alex followed behind, upset.
“I thought I”d get to spend some time with you today,” Alex said softly. Chandler didn’t hear her and buckled Dereck and the car seat in. He then climbed into the front of the car.
“Come on Alex,” Chandler called out to her. Holding back her tears, Alex climbed into the car.

"Oh, Alex, I can pick you up from school today if you want."
"You can? Where are you going?" Alex glugged back her orange juice and started on her peanut butter toast.
"I'm going to lunch with Rob then going shopping with Alicia."
"Why Rob again?" Alex whined.
"Rob is my friend, Alex." Monica sat down by Alex. "Oh, Alex, it's not like your father and Kirsten. Rob and I are friends. We have been friends for years, ever since you were born. We kept in touch for a few months after I moved back to New York, but then just lost connection. Going through all this is difficult for both of us, and Rob is so good at listening. He's helping me through it. It's kind of like you and Darren." Monica giggled. "I know you and Darren are not 'romantically involved' or something, you're just friends. Same with me and Rob. Exact same. We're best friends."

"So this is the Central Perk you always told me about, Monica."
"Yup, this is the place. It's changed a lot through the years, but it's still the same good old Central Perk."
Monica and Rob settled in for lunch. Dereck cooed in his sleep from beside his mother.
"So what's that thing you wanted to talk to me about, Mon?"
"Well...you're a banker, right?"
"Last time I checked," Rob agreed.
"Listen, Rob, I've been thinking. And I need some help with a banking thing I'm trying to get done. Only when I inquired at the bank, they said it wasn't possible."
"Okay, what is it?"
"All I want to do is filter the money coming in from Queen of Hearts into another account under, um, a different name so, um..."
"No need to explain," Rob said quickly. "I don't want to be involved in anything illegal. Not when things are going so well for me."
"It's not illegal, Rob. This morning I went down to the courthouse and legally changed my name to Kelly Bellar. I just want to create a new account under that name and get all money forwarded to this new account."
"I suppose I could do that for you. Sure. Is that all?"
"I think so."
Rob glanced at Monica. He wasn't convinced. "Okay."

“Hey Alicia,” Monica shouted. “Over here!”
Alicia turned her head and looked for Monica. Spotting her, she hurried over. “Man is the mall crowded!” she exclaimed.
“Well, it is almost Christmas,” Monica laughed. “So what are we looking for?”
“Well, I thought I’d get Darren a couple of Nintendo games first,” Alicia looked at a list in her hand. “What about you?”
“I was going to get Alex some games and a couple of new DVD’s,” Monica said looking at her own list.
“Great, why don’t we go to Toys R Us first,” Alicia suggested. Monica nodded and they headed down the hall.
“So how have you been?” Monica asked.
“Great,” Alicia nodded. “Darren has gotten some movie offers that we’re looking into, but most likely he won’t start acting again until next June or something.”
“That’s nice,” Monica nodded.
“So where were you earlier?” Alicia asked. “I tried calling you.”
“Oh, I went out to lunch with Rob,” Monica said. When Alicia gave her a confused look Monica explained. “The banker.”
“Oh,” Alicia gave her a look. “I though you said you weren’t dating him.”
“I’m not,” Monica protested. “He’s one of my best friends. I’ve known him for what seems like forever.”
“Okay,” Alicia held up her hands in protest. “So how did you meet him anyway?”
“Well, it’s a long story,” Monica said. “You see, when I became pregnant with Alex I left home. First I went to my parent’s, cos I knew Chandler would never look for me there. You see, I don’t get along with my parents. We’ve sort of been in a disagreement my whole life. After staying there a couple weeks I was almost ready to blow, so I decided to move on. I rented an apartment in Chicago, don’t ask me why, and lived there until Alex was about six months old. While in Chicago, I met Rob’s sister Josie. The one who writes that column and had that movie based on her relationship with this one teacher, Never Been Kissed.”
“Oh my gosh,” Alicia exclaimed. “You know her?!”
“Yeah,” Monica nodded. “Well, we met one day and she introduced me to her husband Sam, the teacher, and her brother Rob. Rob and I talked a lot and over the weeks until Alex was born, he kept me company. He’s a lot like Joey, a major flirt and at first flirted quite a bit with me. After a while though, I told him the whole story and he spent hours trying to convince me to tell Chandler what was going on. Unfortunately I was stubborn and I refused to call. When Alex was born, he, Josie and Sam were the ones that were with me. Eventually I phoned Ross and told him about the baby. As you can imagine, he was shocked, but he supported me. He came out with Rachel at Christmas to surprise me and beg me to come home. I agreed, but only on the condition that they didn’t tell anyone that I was back in New York. Instead, I’d make it on my own with Alex. It took a while to convince them, but I did. I was quite sad to leave Rob, as he’d become my best friend, but I knew I had to. When I moved back, we kept contact for a while, but eventually lost it after he and I became absorbed with our lives.”
“What about Chandler?” Alicia asked. “You never really told me how you met and everything.”
“Another long story,” Monica laughed. “He was Ross’s roommate in collage and came home with Ross once for Thanksgiving. At that time, let’s just say I was incredibly fat. I heard him comment to Ross that he didn’t want to be stuck with ‘his fat sister’. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my heart because I developed a crush on him the moment I first laid eyes on him. The next Thanksgiving he came home again and this time he met the ‘new me’. I’d lost tons of weight and was looking great. It felt great to hear my brother comment to Chandler ‘dude, that’s my sister’, when he was checking me out. I still really wanted to get back at him, and Rachel convinced me to pretend I wanted to have sex with him. Then when he was getting undressed, I’d throw him outside without his clothes. Unfortunately this backfired when I accidentally cut off part of his toe.”
“You did what?” Alicia almost screeched.
“Yes, I cut off part of his toe,” Monica nodded regretfully. “Let’s just say that Chandler didn’t really like me after that for a while. Eventually though, we both ended up with apartments across the hall from each other near Central Perk. Chandler had a roommate, Kip, who I dated. I also had a roommate, Phoebe. After Kip and I broke up, Kip sort of got phased out of the group and Chandler got a new roommate, Joey. Eventually Phoebe moved and Rachel became my roommate. But in those years of living across from each other Chandler and I became good friends and eventually best friends. He told me all his secrets and I did the same. We had a special bond that no one seemed to be able to break. After Ross and Rachel had broken up for the first time, we went to Phoebe’s massage clients cabin. That’s sort of the first time either of us thought about dating each other. I had been complaining that I’d never get a boyfriend and Chandler commented that he could be my boyfriend. When I told him I don’t think that’s possible, he got obsessed with convincing me it was. About a year after that we slept together when we were drunk at Ross’s wedding. This wedding was to a girl named Emily, not Rachel, another long story. After that, Chandler and I both decided that we loved each other and wanted to be together and everything was perfect until Alex.”
“Wow,” Alicia looked at Monica in wonder. “No wonder you both seem so hurt when the other does something. You go a long way back.”
“Yeah,” Monica sighed. “Unfortunately, I’m starting to think that’s not a good thing. I don’t think I’d feel as hurt by him if we weren’t, sorry, hadn’t been so close.”

"Please won't you come in with me?" Alex begged of her mother one last time before opening the car door.
"No, sorry, sweetie, but I just can't stand to see the sight of your dad right now. Now you have fun, all right?" Monica kissed the top of Alex's head before she jumped out of the car. "Bye, sweetheart."
"Bye, Mom."
Lionel answered the door and invited her in.
"Where's Dad?" For a moment, a fear stabbed at Alex that made her wonder if perhaps her dad wasn't home.
"Right here, princess." Chandler entered the foyer and took Alex in his arms. "But I'm afraid I've got to run. I've got this thing...a press conference actually. I'm really sorry. But Kirsten will play with you. Why don't you teach her some N64 games or something?"
Alex's eyes went wide, and began to brim with tears. "Why do you have to leave me with her?"
"Honey, I'm really busy lately. And I'd like to stay at home, but people are expecting me."
"But I expected that you would be able to do something with me! Are other people more important to you?"
"No, Alex, it's just something called priorities. That doesn't mean that this is more important to me than you are to me. It just means that it's got to get done. I can always spend time with you later, but people need me now."
"Priorities suck," Alex commented, glaring hard at the ground.
"Hello, Alexis." Kirsten smiled thinly at Alex.
"Hello, Kristen. And it's Alex."
"It's Kirsten," Kirsten shot back.
"Gotta run." Chandler gave Alex a peck on the cheek and would have done the same for Kirsten, if she hadn't pulled him into a longer kiss. After letting go, Kirsten gave Alex a superior glance.
After Chandler had disappeared, Kirsten turned to Alex. "Don't bug me, Alexis. I'll be in the living room."
"Hold it, Kristen," Alex returned. "My dad said that you would play with me. So you'd better."
Kirsten sighed. "Okay, fine, but get on with it. What do you want to 'play?'"
"N64," Alex replied. "Mario Party. But first I want to look up a word in the dictionary."
"Go right ahead. And take as long as you want. The dictionary is over there."
"I know where it is," Alex said snidely. "I used to live here, you know." Alex grabbed the dictionary and flipped through it.
"'Priority: noun. Precedence; something or someone given special attention.' Hey! Why shouldn't I be given special attention?"
"Because you're just a stupid little girl," Kirsten answered. "Stupid little girls don't deserve special attention."
"Never mind. I'll play N64 by myself."
"Suit yourself." Kirsten flounced out of the room.
But Alex did not play N64. She flopped down on the couch and buried her head in a pillow. 'Special attention.' Chandler really must not care for her.

Alex was sitting peacefully in front of a tv playing Nintendo when Kirsten came along. Kirsten stopped, standing behind Alex and didn’t say anything.
“Do you want something?” Alex finally asked, pausing her game and turning to look at her.
“No, not really,” Kirsten shook her head. She sat down beside Alex and Alex moved away uncomfortable. “I just thought I should spend some time with you, cos I’m dating your dad and all.”
“My dad’s only dating you to get back at my mom,” Alex told her pointedly. “He doesn’t like you. He just think’s my mom cheated on him because of Dereck.”
“Well she did,” Kirsten stated. “Dereck isn’t Chandler’s.”
“Yes he is,” Alex stood her ground. “My mom wouldn’t lie and she hasn’t dated anyone since Chandler, and that was nine years ago! Dereck is Chandlers and he knows it! He just doesn’t want to admit it.”
“Now you listen to me,” Kirsten said coldly. “Dereck doesn’t belong to Chandler. Dereck probably belongs to that banker guy that you mom’s dating.”
“For your info,” Alex replied. “My mom’s not dating the banker. He’s just helping her with a problem. Besides, if she was dating him, I’m sure he’d be more of a dad to Dereck than Chandler’s being!”
“Well just think about this,” Kirsten told Alex. “Your dad stopped looking for your mom when she disappeared nine years ago, and he even dated other people. He doesn’t need your mom.”
“Exactly,” Alex said, and Kirsten looked at her strangely. “He dated other people. He never got married again. But you know what? If you want to, marry him! Just think, if you have a kid, he won’t acknowledge him as his own. And besides, your right. He’s not a good dad!”
Alex knew she wasn’t being fair to her dad and that for the little while that he’d been her dad he’d been great. But she had gotten to the point where she almost hated him. She couldn’t believe that he would even think of dating another woman. Leaping to her feet, Alex turned off the Nintendo and stormed out of the room, not noticing that Chandler had shown up at the last part of the conversation and was standing in the other doorway, a look of pain on his face.

“Am I really a bad dad?” Chandler asked Joey as they watched a Knicks game on tv. “Am I?”
“Of course not Chandler,” Joey turned to his best friend. “I’m sure Alex was just upset. I mean, look at everything that’s been going on lately. You’ve started dating, Monica’s supposedly started dating, though I don’t think she is. And Chandler, look at who you’re dating. I mean of all the women you could’ve chosen from you chose her?”
“I know, I know,” Chandler nodded sadly. “But I wanted to get back at Mon. I can’t believe she’d date someone else and have a kid with some one else while living in the same house as me. I mean, I invited them to stay with me and this is how she repays me? And Monica has always been jealous of blonds like Kirsten. She always felt she wasn’t as pretty as them or something.”
“Sure, you wanted to get back at Monica,” Joey said. “But did you ever think that you’d be hurting Alex at the same time? And are you absolutely positive that Dereck isn’t yours? Cos Monica seems quite sure that he is and Alex isn’t going to go against her mom. Her mom’s the only one that’s been there for her, her whole life. Now this thing with Kirsten is going to wreck your weak bond that you hold with Alex. You’re probably still on a trial period in her eyes and you’re ruining it.”
“I don’t know what to do man,” Chandler sighed. “I didn’t mean for this to get so out of hand. Things were so much easier before Monica came back into my life and Alex joined it. I almost wish I didn’t see them at the audition, that I didn’t make that connection.”
Alex had been just about to enter the room when she heard her dad say that things were easier. Gasping, she covered her mouth so they wouldn’t hear her and ran away from the door. The two guys carried on, not realizing what just occurred.
“You don’t mean that Chandler,” Joey told him. “You love Mon and you love Alex even more, if that’s even possible. You’re just hurt that Mon might have cheated on you, that’s all.”
“What do you mean, might have?” Chandler questioned. “Of course she did. I haven’t slept with her in over nine years!”
“Um, Mr. Bing?” Lionel walked into the room. “Can I tell you something?”
“Sure Lionel, what about?” Chandler asked, curious.
“Um, can I tell you in private please?” Lionel asked.
“I’ll just go the bathroom or something,” Joey said quickly standing up and leaving the room. Chandler and Lionel just sat and stood there for a moment.
“What’s this about Lionel?” Chandler finally asked.
“Well,” Lionel didn’t know how to say what he needed to tell Chandler. “Do you remember last thanksgiving?”
“Of course,” Chandler nodded. “I got very very drunk!”
“Yes,” Lionel agreed. “Well, during the night I was thirsty and I went to get a drink from the kitchen. When I was walking down the hall, I saw you stumble out of Monica’s room, sleepwalking.”
“What are you getting at?” Chandler asked nervous.
“Well,” Lionel stated. “I think that you probably are Dereck’s dad. I mean, I know everything that goes on in this house and never once did I hear anything about Monica and another guy.”
“I don’t believe you Lionel,” Chandler shook his head. “There’s no way I’d have slept with Monica. I’d remember something like that!”
“Whatever you say sir,” Lionel turned to leave. “Just don’t forget what I told you.”
“Okay,” Chandler gave him butler a strange look, watching him leave the room.

"Rob, when I told you the other day that I only wanted that account for...for some legal reason, I was lying." Monica shut her eyes tightly, and waited for Rob's reply from the other end of the phone line.
"I suspected as much, Mon," Rob admitted. "What's up?"
"I'm taking my family away from here, Rob. I can't stand to be anywhere near Chandler anymore. Chandler made an absolute fool of me with the whole Dereck situation. He forgets about Alex because he's tied up with Kirsten. He tries to buy her off with treats. He's not even civil anymore-"
"Calm down, Mon, calm down. I know what he's done, and I know it's awful. But are you sure you want to do this?"
"Yes," Monica replied. "I've thought it over. I haven't slept in a fortnight, because I've been trying to figure it all out, turning the idea about and-"
"That, and Dereck keeps you up I imagine," Rob laughed.
"That too," Monica confessed.
"Okay, if that's what you've decided, Kelly Bellar. It seems a shame that I just moved here, though, and now you're moving away."
"Yeah, a bit of a shame," Monica said slowly.
"Aren't people going to recognize you? A single mom, et cetera? It will be kind of obvious."
"I've been kind of worried about that myself," Monica admitted. "But there's nothing I can do about it. I have to go through with it!"
There was a long pause of silence.
"Go through it if you must, Monica," Rob said seriously, "but only if I come with you."
Monica was stunned. "What do you mean?"
"I can pretend to be your husband, Monica. Don't you see? If there are three kids and two parents rather than two kids and one parent, it will be all the more believable. I have a friend who can arrange all the birth certificates and the marriage certificate. I can get us a car. I can-"
"Rob! That's too many 'I cans!' I'm not expecting you to do anything for me but the account thing. It would be too awful for me to drag you into it."
"Monica, I know of a small little town far from here where no one will know us. There's a great highschool baseball team there, and they have been looking for a coach. I'm it! Or I could be it! Come on, Monica, you need me. You can't just expect to go somewhere, rename your family, and be done with it. That's too suspicious. There are steps to these things. Steps that must all be carefully considered. So are you there?"
"I-I...I guess I am."

“Monica,” Alicia greeted her friend warmly as she stepped into Mon’s apartment.
“Hey Alicia,” Monica replied tiredly. “Come in.”
“How’s everything with Dereck?” Alicia asked. “Fine I hope.”
“Yep, he’s great,” Monica nodded, smiling. “Alex is great helping with him too.”
“What about you though,” Alicia asked worried. “How are you holding up?”
“Not to good,” Mon replied with a sigh. “Once again my kid’s going to grow up without a dad. And Alex, I don’t know what to do. She loves her dad so much. As for Chandler, I can’t believe he’d do this. He got mad at me the first time for running away, and this time he’s getting mad at me for telling right away. I mean, he didn’t even make it to Dereck’s birth.”
“I know honey, I ‘m so sorry,” Alicia gave Monica a hug. “I’m sure everything will work out.”
“I know,” Monica smiled weakly. “I know, it always does, in it’s own way.”
“Right,” Alicia smiled at Mon gently. “Anyway, what about you and that banker?”
“Oh, not you too,” Monica moaned. “Why does everyone think I’m dating him? I’m not! He’s just helping me with a problem.”
“Hey, calm down,” Alicia held up her hands. “I’m not accusing you of anything. Just think of how much this is going to help everything with Chandler.”
“I know, I know,” Mon groaned. “But everything will be fine in a couple of weeks.”

"So, Al, are you up to going skating after school tomorrow? To make up for not being home the last few times you've been over."
Alex was only mildly excited when Monica told her that Chandler was on the phone for her. "Well, I don't know...Sam wanted to-"
"Say no more, princess. I promise we'll have a blast. We'll go skating on the pond, then we'll get some hot dogs and hot chocolate. And if it snows more tonight, we can go home and build a snowman if you'd like..."
"Okay," Alex agreed. As long as Kirsten wasn't with them, Alex decided she and her father would have the time of their lives.
"Do you want Kirsten to-" Chandler began only to interrupted all at once.
"No!" Alex cried. She calmed her voice. "I just want us to go alone, Dad. We haven't done anything by ourselves for the longest time, and-"
"Okay, okay!" Chandler laughed. "I'm not sure she's into skating and hotdogs and hot chocolate anyway."
"Oh, good!" Alex exclaimed. "Does that mean you'll build me a skating rink and give me unlimited hotdogs and hot chocolate whenever I want them?"
"Um...no..."
"Awww. Cos when she didn't like Sweep, you gave her to us, so I was just wondering."
Chandler laughed. "If you want a skating rink I'll give you one, princess. I'll give you anything you want."
In another room, Monica silently replaced the phone receiver in its cradle. You'll give her anything she wants, Monica thought, except yourself.

“Bye Sam,” Alex shouted, waving to her friend.
“Bye Alex,” Sam waved back, getting into the car with her mom.
Alex watched as they drove off, then sat down on the curb to wait for Chandler.
Twenty minutes later, Alex glanced around and was surprised to see all the other kids gone. Seeing that Chandler still hadn’t arrived, Alex got up and went into the school.
“Isn’t your dad here?” the secretary asked Alex.
When Alex shook her head, the secretary picked up the phone. “Let’s try calling him. What’s the number?”
“555-7296,” Alex said quickly.
“Sorry, no one seems to be picking up.” She hung up the phone.
“Can I wait in here? It’s cold out.”
“No,” the secretary said sharply. “We don’t allow children in the office after hours.”
“Oh... well, can I - never mind.” Alex hung her head and made her way to the boot room. There she stood under the vent in the ceiling for about half an hour. She sighed, where was her dad? he was never this late. There must be something wrong.
Alex was getting hungry. She rummaged through her backpack for something to eat. She came across a little black phone. Aha! Chandler had given her this for a reason. so she wouldn’t have to go back into the secretary’s office. Alex quickly dialled her father’s number, praying that someone would pick up, even Lionel or Kirsten. Preferably Lionel. She was unsuccessful. Chandler’s voice mail was turned off.
“Lionel’s day off,” Alex muttered. “Why did I agree to go skating on a Tuesday?” Alex almost laughed at her remark, it seemed so obscene. How could she have foreseen that Chandler wouldn’t pick her up and she would have to call him a million times?
Deciding that she might as well try her mom, Alex dialled the number. Worried, she paced back and forth as the phone rang. When her mom didn’t pick up, she sank to the floor. What was she going to do?
Not wanting to wait any longer, Alex opened her phone up again to phone Rob. After a moment, she paused. What was his number? She considered going into the office again to look in a phone booth. Alex shuddered, thinking of the secretary. Instead she dialled Darren’s number.
“Hello?” Alex was so happy to hear a voice.
“Alicia, it’s Alex,” Alex told her.
“Hey Alex, Darren’s not home right now. DO you want to leave a message?
“Actually,” Alex replied. “I have a problem. My dad was suppose to pick me up.”
“Well, where is he? Has there been an accident?”
“No... I don’t know.” A tear rolled down Alex’s cheek.
“Don’t worry Alex. I’ll come get you. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
“Thanks Alicia.”

Using the key that Monica had given him Rob let him self into her apartment. He had been babysitting Dereck all day with Lawrence. He had decided that Dereck would probably like having his nap at home more then at his house so he’d brought Lawrence and Dereck to Monica’s apartment.
Walking into the kitchen he found the message light on the answering machine blinking. The information box said it was from Alicia and that it was urgent. Deciding that Monica wouldn’t mind, he pushed the button.
“Hi Monica, it’s Alicia,” Alicia voice came from the machine. “Just wanted to tell you that it looks like Chandler forgot to pick up Alex after school today. Don’t worry she’s here and she’s fine, just upset. I know you’re catering, so we’ll wait for you here. Here’s Alex.”
“Mom,” Alex’s crying voice started. “Why didn’t daddy pick me up? I hate him! And the secretaries are soo mean, they wouldn’t let me wait inside so I had to use the phone that daddy gave me.”
Rob turned off the answering machine and picked Dereck back up. “Come on Lawrence, we’ve got to go pick up Alex. She sounds upset.”
“Okay,” Lawrence replied. “Why didn’t her dad pick up today?”
“He’s just got a lot on his mind Lawrence,” Rob said quickly. “Come on, we need to go.”
Rob hurried Lawrence and carried Dereck out of the apartment. They jumped into the car and Rob drove quickly over to Alicia’s house. Getting out of the car he walked up the door and rang the bell. He carried Dereck and Lawrence followed behind.
“Hello?” Alicia opened the door, expectantly. “Oh. Sorry, I was expecting someone else.”
“I know, Monica,” Rob said. “I got your message and Monica’s still catering. I thought I’d come by and relieve you of Alex.”
“Oh, are you the Banker?” Alicia asked.
“Yeah, Rob,” Rob replied, shaking her hand. “This is Dereck, as you know and this is Lawrence. I’m babysitting right now.”
“I recognized Dereck,” Alicia said, taking Dereck from Rob. “Hello Dereck. Come on in you two.”
Rob and Lawrence followed Dereck and Alicia into the house. They went into the kitchen were Alex was sitting, her cheeks and eyes still red from crying.
“ROB!” Alex shouted, jumping out of her chair and giving him a hug. “Do you know why my dad didn’t pick me up?”
“He’s got a lot on his mind,” Lawrence supplied. Rob and Alicia smiled at the little boy then turned to Alex.
“Al,” Rob said slowly. “I don’t know why Chandler didn’t pick you up. He was probably busy and forgot.”
“Forgot? Why would he forget about me? I thought he loved me,” Alex said, a hurt look taking over the smile on her face.
“Of course he loves you Alex,” Alicia said hurriedly. “He’s just going through a lot right now. With, well everything.”
“But I thought the movie was doing great!?” Alex replied.
“Oh, the movies doing wonderful,” Alicia nodded. “It’s still the top movie and it’s been two and a half weeks. Just everything that’s been going on between Chandler and Monica. That’s been stressful for both of them. And now that Kirsten’s come along and the fact that Chandler believes that Mon’s been dating Rob... well...”
“Why can’t they just date each other or something?” Alex asked. “I thought they both loved each other.”
“You’ll understand this more when you’re older Al,” Rob answered. “You see, love’s really hard. Sometimes you’re lucky and you’ll find someone, like Alicia and Andrew or my sister Josie and Sam and everything will work out. Other times you’ll find someone and things won’t work out. Your mom and dad love each other and hopefully someday they’ll be able to forgive each other and then everything will be all right.”
“I hope so,” Alex said slowly. “I liked living with both my mom and dad, even if they weren’t together. It felt nice... normal.”
“I know sweetie,” Rob pulled Alex to him and gave her another hug. “But we need to go home because Dereck hasn’t had his nap yet.”
“Okay,” Alex replied. “Just let me get my bag.... Is my mom home yet?”
“Not yet,” Rob said. “Sorry, she should probably be home in about two hours.”
After Alex had gotten her bag and they thanked Alicia, Rob and the three kids headed back to Monica’s.

A couple hours later Monica hurried out of the person’s house she had been catering at, leaving her crew behind to clean up. Getting into her car she headed over to Chandler. Once there she parked the car, got out and walked up to the door. She reached out to open it, but stopped, remember that this wasn’t ‘her’ house anymore. Instead she reached out and hit the doorbell.
When Chandler opened the door, the first thought that came to her head, was this must have been Lionel’s day off. The second thought made the first thought disappear in an instant. Why was Chandler in a bathrobe? At that moment, Kirsten appeared behind Chandler.
“Chandler, honey, who’s at the door?” Kirsten asked.
“Chandler! What were you thinking, doing this with your daughter in the house,” Monica demanded, the shocked look that was on her face fading to anger.
“What do you mean, daughter at the house... OH MY GOSH!” Chandler shouted. “I totally forgot about that!”
“You what?” Monica demanded. “Where’s Alex? Where is she?”
“Um,” Chandler didn’t know what to say. He could only honestly say he’d seen Mon freak out once, and from the look on her face, that hadn’t been a total freak out. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” Monica shouted. “This is my daughter, your daughter we’re talking about. The one you were supposed to pick up after school today and take ice skating. This time Chandler you’ve gone to far.”
“I’m sorry Mon,” Chandler shrugged his shoulders. “I guess I was distracted.”
“Yeah, by a bimbo,” Monica waved her arms about angrily. “Come on, we’re going for a drive to find my daughter.”
Monica grabbed Chandler’s arm and pulled him down the hall to his bedroom. Kirsten followed behind, wondering what was about to happen. Once they got to the bedroom, Monica pushed Chandler inside and then followed him, letting Kirsten sneak past. Closing the door behind her, Monica leaned against it facing Chandler who was standing there in his bathrobe.
“Okay Chandler,” Monica said, an evil glint in her eyes. “Get dressed.”
“Um, would you leave then?” Chandler asked, then spotting Kirsten. “Both of you?”
“Oh no,” Monica shook her head. “Forget it. If you can’t act responsibly, then you should be treated like a little kids. And little kids always get dressed in front of adults because they can’t do it themselves. We’ll just stand here and watch.”
Chandler looked at the two women nervously. He could tell that Monica was actually angry, but Kirsten looked excited. He groaned and stepped away from her slightly. Looking back at Monica, he decided that this was too much. “Forget it Mon. I’ll get dressed when you and her leave the room.”
“Sorry,” Monica shook her head again. “You’re going to get dressed right now because every minute we stand here paused I’m going to get madder at you and try to think of a worse punishment.”
“Okay, okay,” Chandler walked over to his dresser and grabbed a pair of jeans, boxers, a T-shirt and socks. He turned away from the females and without opening his bathrobe, slipped on his boxers. He then pulled on his jeans and taking the bathrobe off, pulled on his T-shirt.
Turning back around Chandler almost laughed when he saw that Monica had turned her head away so she wouldn’t have been able to see him anyway. He quickly pulled on the rest of his clothes and walked towards Mon. Reaching out, he put a hand on her arm. She jumped and turned around.
“Sorry Monica,” Chandler said, looking into her eyes. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Ready to go?”
“Yep,” Monica replied quickly, trying to hide the feelings that came over her when she looked at him in the eyes.
“I’m coming too,” Kirsten said quickly. The two glanced at her and were surprised to see she had gotten dressed as well.
“No,” Monica said quickly. “Alex doesn’t like you, to be more accurate she HATES you.”
“I’m sorry Kirsten,” Chandler added, not wanting to disagree with Monica. “But I think it would be better if just the two of us go. Alex is probably upset and well, it’s kind of between the three of us, not you.”
“Fine,” Kirsten said pouting. Chandler headed over to her and gave her a quick kiss. He looked over at Monica and smiled to himself when he realized that her face was bright red. The smile faded slightly when he saw the hurt look, but it only appeared for a minute before Monica hid her feelings once again.“Okay, let’s go,” Chandler walked over and stood by Mon. Giving Kirsten a brief wave, the two headed out of the house. Chandler turned to go to his car, but Monica forced him into hers.
“I don’t trust you,” Monica said coldly, as she got in and buckled her seat belt. “We’ll go together. I guess the first thing we should do is go to the school and see if she’s still there.”
Not saying anything, Chandler nodded and stared silently out the window as Monica drove. As they came to the school it became quickly apparent that no one was there. The windows were all black and no one was sitting on the school steps.
“Maybe we should go to the police,” Monica said, her face showing lines of worry. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Calm down Mon,” Chandler said softly, placing a hand on her arm. “Why don’t we go and talk to Alicia. Maybe Alex phoned her.”
“Okay,” Monica said, trying to calm her self down. It didn’t work though and she found her self in tears.
“Mon, Monica,” Chandler said softly. Reaching over, he gave her a hug. She sunk into his arms for a moment, before remembering what was happening and pulling her self away.”
“Forget it Chandler, you can’t comfort me. This is all happening because of you,” Monica said. She started the car again and headed for Alicia’s house.

“Monica?” Alicia said in surprise as she opened the door. “What are you doing here?”
“I was wondering where Alex was,” Monica said. “It seems that Chandler here forgot to pick her up. Have you heard from her today?”
“Actually yes,” Alicia replied. “She phoned me from the school, very upset. I picked her up and the Banker came by and took her home.” Alicia winked at Monica as she said Banker. She could see Monica visibly relax. “I’m sure Alex is at home.”
“Thanks so much Alicia,” Monica told her friend gratefully. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Why didn’t you phone me?” Chandler asked.
“We tried, there was no answer,” Alicia replied. “Were you home?”
“Yes, he was,” Monica said giving Chandler an angry look. “I caught him in the ‘act’ when I arrived to pick up Alex. You can probably imagine my surprise when he answers the door in a bathrobe. I was so upset I made him get dressed while Kirsten and I waited in the room. He was quite embarrassed.”
“Yes I sure can imagine,” Alicia agreed, laughing. “Poor Chandler. Though I must say that you need to be a bit more responsible.”
“I know, I’ve gotten the lecture already,” Chandler looked over at Mon. “And I’m pretty sure I’m going to be getting it again.”

Arriving home, Monica parked beside Rob’s car. Getting out she hurried into the building and up the stairs to her apartment. Chandler followed behind her nervously. She had chewed him out again for forgetting about Alex in the car.
Opening the door, Monica entered the apartment. “Alex?” Monica called out.
“MOM!” Alex shouted, running into the room, Rob and Lawrence following a few steps behind. “Thank gosh your home.” Alex flung herself into her mom’s arms. “Daddy forgot all about me. I hate
him.”
“You don’t hate him Al,” Monica said, Chandler standing behind her. “You’re just upset.”
“Why would he forget about me?” Alex asked, the question still unanswered in her mind.“Why don’t you ask him for yourself,” Monica told her daughter. She moved aside so Chandler could enter the apartment further.
Closing the door behind him, Chandler looked nervously at Alex. She was staring at him, an angry expression much like Mon’s on her face. “Oh Al, I’m sooo sorry.” Chandler said quickly. “I didn’t mean to leave you there. I was just busy and distracted that I lost track of time.”
Rob, realizing what must have happened, covered his mouth with his hand to hide his laughter. Monica caught his eye and they both laughed silently.
“I’ll never do it again, I promise Al.”
“Did you forget because of Kirsten?” Alex questioned.
“Um,” Chandler didn’t answer.
“Why are you dating her dad? You belong with my mom, not her,” Alex told her dad. Monica and Rob smiled at Alex. Still up to matchmaking! “She’s ugly and she’s mean and she doesn’t like me. I bet if you married her she’d never let me come over and I’d never see you again.”
“That’s not true princess,” Chandler replied. “I’m sure Kirsten likes you. She always acts nice around you.”
“Only when you’re around,” Alex replied. “Can’t you see what a phony she is? She’s only after money. I don’t understand you.” With that, Alex turned and left. Chandler stood there, not knowing what to do.
“Well, I’ve got to go,” Rob said, breaking the silence that had fallen over them. “Come on Lawrence, let’s go get your things. Oh and Mon, Dereck’s in his room sleeping.”
“Thanks,” Monica smiled at him. She could tell that Rob knew she wanted to say something to Chandler. “I guess you can get a cab,” she told Chandler. “I’m not going out again tonight. Instead I’m going to spend time with my family. I think I’m going to go check on Dereck, would you like to see your son? Oh wait, I forgot, you disowned him.”
“Hey, I never owned him in the first place,” Chandler replied. “I think I’ll just go and get a cab. I’ve caused enough damage for one night.”
Chandler quickly turned and left the apartment. To his retreating figure Monica said. “You’ve gone to far overboard, this time, to come back.”

“Hey, Alex, we need to talk. Hey! What are you playing?”
Alex looked up to see Monica walk into the livingroom. “Zelda. I’ve passed it before, but it’s my favourite game, so I’m playing it again.”
“I remember you telling me about it. Can I try it?”
“Um…I’m not sure you’ll be able to get the hang of it-“
“Sure I will!”
“All right.” Alex shrugged and handed her mom the N64 control.
“Ooh…look at those gross chickens.”
“Um, Mom,” Alex said.
“Oops! Sorry.” Monica smiled sheepishly as she ran into one of the chickens.
“Yeah,” Alex replied. “Those chickens are dangerous…Now what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Well…” Monica stalled for time. “Alex, remember how your dad has been a little ‘closed’ to all of us lately?”
“Yeah…” Alex said slowly. “What about it?”
“Well…it’s just that…oh, how can I say this?”
“You’re not taking Sweep to the pound, are you?” Alex questioned nervously.
Monica gave Alex a concerned look. “No, of course not. Why would you think such a thing?”
“Just that the last time Daddy said to me ‘How can I say this?’ He was going to take Sweep to the pound.”
“What???” Monica jumped up.
“Yeah. Because Kirsten is afraid of dogs. But then he gave her to us instead.”
“I absolutely cannot believe it.” Monica shook her head. “See, Alex, this is what I’m getting at. Listen. I’m sorry we had to leave Dad’s house and come back here and stuff…And Alex, none of this is your fault. Let's just clear that up. It's my fault. I never should have let you go to that audition and meet your father...if I hadn't, this never would have happened, you wouldn't have gotten hurt. If I had even stayed in Chicago..."
"Chicago?"
"You were born in Chicago, Alex. That's where I met Rob. We're good friends, which you know. He, his sister, and his sister's husband are all my great friends. They stuck by me through your birth even though we had only known each other for a few months."
"You're not in love with Rob, though, right?"
"Right. I never was. Back when I met him I was still in love with Chandler. Anyway Alex, the thing is, I think...I think we need to leave New York."
"Leave New York..." Alex was stunned.
"I can't bare for you to go through all this. You're only ten years old! I can't stand for Chandler to hurt you anymore. And I can't control him, so I can't keep him from seeing you. The only thing left to do is to-"
"To run away?" Alex cried, jumping up indignantly. Tears streamed down her face. "Leave all my friends? Leave Dad? I couldn't, not now, not ever!"
Monica stood up and hugged her daughter close. "Oh, Alex, Alex, shh. I'm sorry I ever mentioned it. We'll stay here. I don't know how I ever even imagined us just up and leaving when we're so...oh, what ever came over me? I'm sorry, Alex. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Forgive me, sweetie. Forget I ever said it. Forget it."
Alex shook in her mother's arms for a few minutes. Then she looked up into Monica's eyes. "I'll go," she whispered. "Just take me away as soon as you can."

Things went downhill from there. Alex accepted the whole situation seriously, deciding that this was the best thing for them. And besides, it would be kind of fun...going away in secret. It would sure challenge her acting ability, anyway.
"Won't people be looking for us, though, Mom? A single mother who caters, a ten year old who happens to be famous, a border collie, and a three month old baby boy whose picture has been on the cover of newspapers everywhere?"
"Yes," Monica admitted. "You do understand, sweetie, that we'll be changing our names, our hair, our appearance, everything about us, right?"
"Yes...can my name be Robin? Please? I love that name," Alex said.
"I suppose it doesn't matter. Sure."
"What's our last name?"
"Bellar. But keep it hush. No one should know any of this."
"I still don't get it. It's too easy. Everyone will know us."
"No they won't. First of all, I won't be a single mom," Monica explained.
"What do you mean? You're not married," Alex said puzzedly.
"I am now." Monica pulled out a piece of paper and showed it to Alex. "This is a forged marriage certificate, Alex. Kelly Triste wed to Kenneth Bellar on June first, 1999."
"Forged?" Alex was amazed. "You mean this is illegal?"
"Alex, everything about this is illegal. I'm sorry to get you tied up in it at all. But I've made up my mind. I'm taking my family away from the cameras, away from the news, away from Chandler. He has made an absolute fool of me, and denies that Dereck is his son...it's just such a mess." Monica collapsed in a chair as tears filled her eyes. She felt overwhelmed with everything that had been happening lately.
"It's okay, Mommy." Alex felt tears sting her eyes, as well. She hated to see her mom cry. Her mom didn't deserve to feel this sad. "Go on. Who is this Kenneth guy?" Alex didn't have to feign her interest. She honestly wanted to know.
"Rob. Rob Gellar."
"Rob? He'd do that for you?" Alex hugged Monica close. "You must be pretty special."
"He gains from it," Monica admitted. "Baseball is practically his life. He says there's a great highschool team in the place we're going to, and they've been looking for a coach. This is his chance. He's tired of being a banker."
"And is Lawrence coming too?"
"Yes. He's really young. He won't understand, but..."
"You guys must be wonderful friends."
"We are."
"Are you and Rob as close as you, Chandler, Uncle Ross and Joey, Aunt Rachel, and Phoebe used to be?"
"We were very good friends," Monica confessed, realizing for the first time what she would be leaving behind in leaving New York. "I'm not sure...I can't decide."
"I'm going to miss them," Alex declared.
"Me too," Monica whispered. "Me too."

“Faith, hi. I’m so glad you could meet me here.”
Monica stood shivering outside her apartment building beside Alex’s bodyguard.
“Make it quick,” the redhead replied. “It’s cold and I should be watching Alex.”
“Um…” Despite the weather, Monica stalled for time. “That’s just it. We’ve decided that we no longer need your services. Already the movie hype has died down, and, well, you know-“
Faith nodded slowly and kept a steady eye with Monica. “I see. The pink slip, huh. Well, I’ll be seeing you around.”
Monica watched as the disappointed figure wandered away. She hated to do it, but if they were going to try to leave, nothing could stand in their way.

“Mom!” Alex shouted running into her mom’s room and diving on the bed. “Wake up mom! It’s Christmas!”
“Alex!” Mon moaned, turning over to face her daughter. “It’s five in the morning!”
“I know, but there’s no one else here,” Alex said, crawling under the covers.
“Well, now I’m regretting not having people over or going to someone’s house,” Monica said with a laugh. “I just wanted to have a Christmas all alone with you and Dereck.”
“I know mom,” Alex gave Monica a hug. “I’m not complaining. It’s nice to not have a million people around. I think daddy said he was going to pick me up tomorrow and take me skating.”
“That’ll be fun,” Monica said, thinking of Chandler. “I just wish this wasn’t all happening. If only Chandler would admit that Dereck is his.”
“Same,” Alex looked over at the crib where Dereck was sleeping. “He looks like daddy too.”
“He does,” Monica agreed. She climbed out of the bed and went over to his crib and picked him up and brought him over to the bed. “Just think Al, last year was Joelana’s first Christmas, and this year is Dereck’s.”
“What was my first Christmas like?” Alex asked, leaning over Dereck and tickling him.
“Well,” Mon thought back to it. “We shared it with your Aunt Rachel, Uncle Ross and Ben. It was hectic. But you were already six months old, so you had more of an idea what was going on then Dereck does. You took all your presents and tore off the wrapping eagerly. That’s when you got your blanket. Ross told me later that Chandler had given him money for a present for me, cos he didn’t know where I was. Ross used the money to get you the blanket. So, in part, the blanket is from your dad, though he doesn’t know that.”
“Wow,” Alex said, thinking of her blanket that was sitting folded in her closet. “We’ve got to take that when we go then.”
“Right,” Monica smiled at her daughter. “We’ll only take a couple suitcases though. So you’ve got to decide what you really want.”
“I know what I want,” Alex replied. “I want my blanket, some clothes, my DVD player and tv, all my DVD’s and a picture that daddy gave me.”
“What’s the picture of?” Monica wondered aloud. “I never saw it.”
“I know,” Alex nodded. “He gave it to me two Christmases ago. It’s from when you two had been dating. You’re really skinny in it.”
“Right,” Monica laughed self-consciously. “You should take that, but you can’t show it to anyone. We’ll take some pictures of Chandler and you that we’ve got to, but we can’t show them.”
“I know,” Alex sighed. “It’s going to be difficult, isn’t it.”
“Of course it will be,” Monica nodded. “But we’ll get use to it, and maybe someday, we’ll be able to come back and see everybody.” Monica then added softly so Alex wouldn’t hear. “Maybe someday Chandler will have changed.”
The rest of Christmas was fun. Alex and Monica played games and played with Dereck. Monica taught Alex how to actually cook a turkey, which included turning the oven on. Rob dropped by in the afternoon and gave them their new social security numbers, birth certificates, and everything else. Alex tried to start thinking of herself as Robyn Bellar, not Alex Bing.

NOTE: These scenes would be shown with the song There by Swirl 360 playing in the background. A link to the words to the song are on the main page for Queen Of Hearts.

After tucking Alex and Dereck into their beds, Monica climbed into hers and sighed. It had been a long day, and it had reminded her of all the Christmases she’d had without Chandler. Turning off her bedside light, Monica lay down and thought back to the day she left Chandler.

Entering the apartment she shared with Chandler, Monica climbed out the window onto the balcony. The time was going by quickly, and she knew she needed to decide what to do soon. It had been a month since she’d found out, and she knew that it was going to be very noticeable soon, considering she was two months gone. She hadn’t been drinking coffee or wine for the last month and knew everyone was wondering what was going on.
“Monica?” Chandler joined her on the balcony. “Is something wrong?”
“Wrong? Why do you think that?” Monica asked nervously.
“You’ve been avoiding me for the last few days. Did I do something?” Chandler gave her a puppy dog face.
“No, nothing,” Monica reassured him. She sighed and turned away from him so he wouldn’t see her tears.
“Monica, I know something’s wrong,” Chandler turned her to face him. “Please, tell me what’s wrong so I can help.. Are you crying? Mon, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Monica started to cry harder. Chandler pulled her towards him and held her in a hug.
“Let’s go back inside Mon, it’s cold out here,” Chandler walked with her towards the window. They  entered the apartment and sat down on Chandler’s chair.
Monica leaned against Chandler, letting the tears run down her face. She wanted to tell him, but didn’t know how he’d react. What if he hate her? What if he broke up with her? She wouldn’t be able to handle that. She knew what would happen if he was happy. He’d ask her to marry him. As much as she wanted to get married, she wanted it to be for the right reasons. She didn’t want to be like Ross and get divorced a million times.
He’d said once that the best reason to get married was being pregnant. If he was going to ask, he’d have to ask because he wanted to.

Waving good bye to the Joey’s, Chandler headed into his room and climbed into bed. He was glad that Kirsten had gone to her families for Christmas. He really didn’t feel like having her around right now.
He turned off the light and wondered what Monica and Alex were doing. And Dereck, a voice in his head reminded him. Looking at the time, he decided that Mon had probably just finished putting the two to bed and was lying in her bed, just like he was in his.
Smiling slightly, he thought back to the time he’d arrived home and found her on the balcony. She’d been upset about something. Thinking about it now, he realized that she must have known she was pregnant and was trying to decide what to do.

“Monica?” Chandler walked out on to the balcony. “Is something wrong?”
“Wrong? Why do you think that?” Monica asked nervously.
“You’ve been avoiding me for the last few days. Did I do something?” He gave her a puppy dog face.
“No, nothing,” Monica reassured him. He watched as she turned away from him.
“Monica, I know something’s wrong,” Chandler turned her to face him. “Please, tell me what’s wrong so I can help.. Are you crying? Mon, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Monica started to cry harder. Chandler pulled her towards him and held her in a hug.
“Let’s go back inside Mon, it’s cold out here,” Chandler walked with her towards the window. They  entered the apartment and sat down on Chandler’s chair.
Sitting on the chair, Chandler let Monica lean against him and cry. He figured that she’d tell him in her own time. He knew he could wait. He wait forever for her.

Entering the room she shared with Chandler, Monica gathered up her stuff and started to pack a suitcase. She’d decided what to do. She was going to leave.
Monica realized that running away probably wasn’t the best solution, but she couldn’t see anything else to do. If she stayed, Chandler would eventually find out that she was pregnant unless she had an abortion. There was no way that she would do that, because she’d been waiting to long for this.

Entering his and Monica’s apartment later, the first thing Chandler noticed was Monica’s absence. He looked around for her eagerly, having waited impatiently all day to go home.
“Monica?” Chandler finally called out when he couldn’t see her anywhere. “Monica are you home?”
Walking into the kitchen Chandler gasped, noticing that the dishes from the morning were still there. Something must be terribly wrong. He then headed over to the kitchen table, looking for the note that Monica normally left him when she wasn’t going to see him after work. Instead of the usual note, he found two envelopes. One had his name written on the front, and the other had Rachel, Ross, Joey and Phoebe on the front.
Chandler picked up his envelope instantly and ripped it open. He pulled out a hand written letter, who’s hand writing he instantly recognized as Monica’s.

Dear Chandler,

I’m sorry I’m leaving you like this, but I don’t see any other way. I need some time to think and get my thoughts together. Some alone time, away from all of you. (Please tell Joey this doesn’t mean I hate you guys!)
I have a problem that I need to deal with right now, a problem that none of you can help me with. Maybe I’ll see you again, but maybe I won’t. I don’t know right now.
Chandler, don’t wait for me. Go out there and find that women you’re meant to be with. It’s not me. Don’t spend all your time being depressed about me. Go out and do something. If you hate your job then quite and become what you really want to be. One of those ‘cool jobs’ as you once said.
Bye Chandler.
I’ll always love you,
Monica

Chandler sank into the kitchen chair, his tears that started down his face soaking the letter, mixing with the spots that he could only assume had come from Monica’s tears.
How did Mon expect him to forget her? He couldn’t do that. His life was woven around her existence. This hurt to much.

Stepping into the lobby, Monica walked up the desk at the hotel. She knew she couldn’t stand staying in the hotel any longer. She’d looked around and found an apartment she could rent in Chicago.
Chicago, that ought to be far enough from Chandler. He wouldn’t come looking that far, would he? She didn’t think so. Besides, he didn’t have the resources, time or money to do that kind of a search. He’d probably forgotten all about her by now. The longest it had ever taken him to get over a girl had been 2 weeks. Not like the year she spent alone after Richard.
But she’d never have to get over Chandler, she reminded herself. She’d have a little Chandler around always.

Chandler sat on his chair in the apartment he use to share with Monica in his sweat pants and sweat shirt. Like he was going to be able to get over Mon quickly. That wouldn’t happen in a million years.
“Chandler!” Joey complained, entering the apartment. “You’ve got to do something. You do realize that you’ve been fired from work, don’t you?”
“I know Joey. I mean, they have to have their WENUS on time!” Joey gave him an confused look and Chandler sighed and looked away. “You don’t understand Joe. I was getting to the point where I was actually seriously considering asking Mon to marry me. Who did she leave Joey? Why?”
“I don’t know Chandler, but I”m not going to let you sit here any longer,” Joey walked over to his friend and pulled him out of his chair. “Come on, you’re going with me to my audition. Who knows what will happen there!”

Getting off the subway, Monica felt a wave of nausea and quickly sat down on a bench. She was in Chicago, and was heading to where she planned on calling home for the next few months and maybe years.
“Are you okay?” Monica glanced up to see a blond female standing over her, looking concerned.
“I’m fin...” Monica started to say, when another wave hit her. She lowered her head, and then after it passed looked back up. “I’ve just been really stressed lately, and now with a baby on it’s way...”
“Where do you live?” the female asked.
“Um...” Monica pulled out the piece of paper where the address was written and handed it to the female. “I’ve just moved here actually.”
“Is your husband, or boyfriend at home?” the female asked. “By the way, my name’s Josie. Josie Gellar.”
“Monica Geller,” Monica shook hands. “Waitaminute. You’re the reporter who fell in love with her teacher, aren’t you?!”
“Yeah, that’s me,” Josie nodded.
“Are you guys still together?”
“Yep,” Josie nodded again. “Now what about that husband or boyfriend.”
“Actually,” Monica looked down. “I’m alone.”
“Well then, I”ll walk you to your apartment, okay?” Josie told Monica, helping her to her feet. “It’s not far from where I live with Sam.”
“Thanks,” Monica told her gratefully. Together, the two talked as they walked towards Monica’s new home.

“Darren!” Alex pulled Darren into her bedroom. Darren and his family had come over for dinner.
“What’s wrong Al?” Darren asked, sitting down in front of her shelf of DVD’s. Grabbing one out he stuck it in the DVD player. He hopped back on to her bed to watch.
“Darren,” Darren looked over at Alex and saw that her face was serious. “Darren, I’m moving.”
“Where?” Darren questioned. He was starting to get nervous.
“To California. We’re leaving on New Years,” Alex said slowly. “My mom’s not telling anyone and we’re changing our names and identities so my dad can’t find us. No one’s suppose to know about this, not you, your parents, my uncle, aunts, anyone.”
“Wow,” Darren paused the movie. “So I won’t see you again?”
“No,” Alex said softly. “Not for a long time anyway. I’m not going to act, at least not for a while or it’d be too obvious who I am. But I wanted to tell you cos I’m going to write. I’ll use my new name, which is going to be Robyn Bellar. Don’t tell your parents and you can’t write back, cos my mom would figure out what’s going on.”
“Oh my gosh, this sucks,” Darren said softly. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe that Chandler’s making your mom go this far. This is so unfair of him. What about Sweep? Won’t it be obvious, single mom, daughter around 10 who’s a really good actor, baby boy about 4 months and a border collie?”
“I know,” Alex nodded. “But Rob, the guy you all know as the banker, is a long time friend of my moms. He’s going to go as well and pose as my mom’s husband. It should make it a little easier. Also, he’s got a son who’s going to come as well. Besides, we’re going to a small town where you wouldn’t expect someone famous.”
“I can’t believe this,” Darren said sadly. “You’re my best friend Alex!”
“Same Darren,” Alex replied. “I’m going to miss you. I’ll probably see you again before we leave. Can you write down your address sometime for me?”
“Of course,” Darren turned back to the movie to hide his tears. “Well, let’s make the best of the last few days.”

It was New Years eve, but Chandler was feeling anything but happy. He had thought about a party but decided it would be asking for trouble. Everyone would want to talk about Alex, Dereck and Monica.
Walking into his study he groaned. Kirsten was siting in his chair examining an envelope. She had a grim look on her face.
“What is this?” Kirsten demanded, not moving from the chair. “What is it?”
“What’s what?” Chandler replied innocently. “Is something wrong?” Chandler knew he was frusterating her but he didn’t care.
“This letter,” Kirsten said, waving the envelope about. “Why are you getting a letter from The DNA Specialists?”
“Oh,” Chandler leapt forward and grabbed the envelope from her. “It finally came.”
“What? What came?” Kirsten’s face was going red with anger. “Chandler didn’t notice because he was too busy tearing into the envelope.
Pulling out the piece of paper, Chandler skimmed it quickly. Gasping, he sunk into a chair, his face going white.
Lionel, somehow knowing what the letter was, entered the room. He walked over to Chandler and handed him a cigar. “Congratulations Mr. Bing. It’s a boy!”
“Oh my god!” Kirsten shrieked. “Oh my god. Oh my god.”
“Stop saying that,” Chandler shouted. “You sound like Janice.”
“Noo!!” Kirsten glared at Chandler. “You take that back. I’ve seen her picture, and she’s uuggglllyy!!!”
“I can’t believe this. I’m a DAD!” Chandler said slowly, ignoring Kirsten. “A DAD!!”
“Who cares?” Kirsten yelled. “You’re also a human!”
“A human dad,” Chandler agreed, grabbing his jacket.
“Wait. Where are you going?”
“To where I belong - at home with my family.”
“I hope you realize that this is the end of us!” Kirsten called after him furiously, stamping her foot.
Chandler didn’t answer.
“All the better for Dereck’s future college funds,” Lionel said dryly, walking away. Kirsten growled.
Lioned called. “I thought you were afraid of dogs!” But you’re turning into one. Oh, sorry, I forgot yo’ve been one all your life.”

Running out of his house, Chandler paused to search frantically for his keys. After a moment he ralized that they were in his picket and he ran out and jumped into his car. Joey, GJoey and Joelana were walking up the drive. “As Chandler backed out he nearly ran them over.
“Sorry,” he yelled. “Gotta go.”
“Where?” Joey asked.
“Home,” he screeched out of the driveway.
“That’s funny,” GJoey murmured. “I could have sworn that this was Chandler’s home.”
At that moment Kirsten stormed out of the house, stalking past the Joey’s.
“What’s with her?” GJoey raised her eyebrows.
“I have no idea,” Joey answered. “Hey, she dropped something.”
“What is it?”
“Hm, something form some DNA specialists. Hey! That reminds me.”
“What?”
“I’m hungry. Let’s go raid the fridge.”

Stopping at a red light, Chandler tapped impatiently on the steering wheel. It turned out to be a good thing, because he realized that he was almost out of gas.
Swearing under his breath, he pulled into the next gas station and jumped out of his car. He wasn’t sure why, but he had a feeling he was going to be too late.
“Chandler,” a voice shouted and Chandler spun around.
“Oh, hey Andrew,” Chandler said in a hurry.
“So why are you in such a hurry?” Andrew questioned. “Is something wrong?”
“Wrong?” Chandler replied. “No, I hope not. I”m heading over to Monica’s. She was right, Dereck is mine.”
“Dereck’s yours? Wow!” Andrew exclaimed. “Wait, what about that Banker guy?”
Chandler’s face fell. He hadn’t thought of that.
“Monica’s not dating him,” Darren stuck his head out the car window. “Alex said they’re just friends. Don’t you think you better hurry?!”
“Yep,” Chandler nodded. “I’ve just got to go pay.”
“Good luck,” Andrew called after him as Chandler ran into the office to pay.
Watching Chandler jump into his car and drive of, Darren crossed his fingers. Please be home Al, please, he begged.

As he drove, his mind wandered. Alex didn’t lie... but did she know? It was possible that Monica was in a relationship and Alex just didn’t want to believe it. But Darren had seemed so sure.
As a red light hi, the impeding sense of doom returned. But what would he be late for? Monica wasn’t going out. But Darren had sensed the lateness as well. Chandler had heard it in his voice. “Don’t you think  you’d better hurry?!” It was more than a careless comment.
The light switched green and Chandler stepped on the gas pedal.

He drove up to the apartment building and he sucked in a breath of air. His emotions were muddled. What would Monica say? He had badly mistreated Monica and Alex. Would they forgive him?
Gathering all his courage, Chandler entered the looming building. He stepped into the elevator and muttered a thanks that he was alone. The elevator whirred and a funny feeling entered Chandler’s stomach. With each ding of the passing floors, Chandler heard, “You are too late. You are too late.”
“Finally, the Ninth floor,” Chandler muttered, straightening his tie as he exited the lift. “Here goes.”
He rapped on the door slowly and deliberately. No answer. He tried the knob. It turned.
Nothing inside the apartment was out of palce. Except, Chandler noted, the picture of his family, including himself was missing from the livingroom bookcase. That made sense, of course, considering how disgusted Alex and Monica were with him.
“Mon?” he called cautiously. “Alex, princess?”
By that time Chandler’s thoughts had taken a dark turn. The banker - not a date, no a - a kidnapper!
“Wait, what’s this?” Chandler’s heart thudded as he picked up an envelope. It was addressed to him.
He tore into it, praying for some exlanation. The letter, although scrawled, was obviously from Monica.

Dear Chandler
I know you would come here, but you’re too late. You were once close to my heart, but no more. You have mistreated my beautiful children whom I love more than I ever could love 1000 Chandlers.
You have betrayed my trust and I can never forgive you. Lionel told me where you took Dereck. Now that you know, are you happy? No. Now, not only have you hurt me, but you have hurt yourself. And me, silly enough to think you weren’t strong enough to do it. Alex doesn’t understand you, but she sends lots of love to you.
Thanks a lot Chandler for ruining her this way. Don’t’ worry about us, we’re completely safe - but don’t look for us either. You won’t find us. And don’t expect to ever see us again.
Signed
Monica