The summer cruise was coming to an end. Namely, because summer was ending. Only one evening was left, and Andrew and Alicia Schiller, Chandler and Monica sat gathered around a diningroom table laughing over a bottle of wine.
Monica turned to Alicia. “Darren is such a nice boy. You two have done such a good job bringing him up.”
“Well, thank you.” Alicia smiled at the couple sitting across from her and took her husband’s hand.
“Absolutely,” Chandler agreed. “And I should know-you don’t see that very often nowadays. Especially in accordance to kids in the movie business. Ordinarily they are unusually egocentric.”
“Don’t give us all the credit,” Andrew replied modestly. “You two are wonderful parents. Alex is not at all one of those egocentric child stars. She’s very mature in that respect.”
The conversation lulled as the four parents daydreamed about their perfect children.
“Do you know about a personal column in the paper written by Josie Gellar?” Alicia broke the silence.
Monica and Chandler nodded.
“Of course,” Monica answered. “Wasn’t she the one that started that column by writing the story about herself? I knew her brother well at one point.”
“That’s right,” Andrew jumped in. “That’s her.”
“Well,” Alicia continued, “I read an article in there once about your history. It was called ‘Unsent but not Forgotten,’ mostly focusing on your letters to Chandler, Monica.”
“Oy, yes.” Monica blushed at Chandler grinned at her.
“I read that,” Chandler chimed in. “She wasn’t completely accurate, though. I didn’t propose to Mon three times, like that mentioned. I’ve only proposed twice. Isn’t that right, Monica? Once in Las Vegas, then just last New Year’s Eve.”
“No, honey, don’t you remembere? Once when we had this fight about me wanting to get married or something you proposed to win me back. I still wonder what you would have done if I had agreed, Chandler!”
“Ahem. Speaking of proposals,” Alicia interrupted, “the article didn’t say much about New Year’s Eve.”
“Needless to say, Alicia was sorry we declined the invitation to your party!” Andrew laughed.
Monica smiled. “Well if you know about the letters, that helps a lot. One Thanksgiving letter played a big role inthat evening’s events.”
Chandler continued: “See, I had discovered these letters, and had this impulse to write back-so I did. But I didn’t like it, so I crumpled it up and forgot about it. It ended up on the floor, Mon found it, and I proposed!”
“The letter really proved Chandler’s love for his family,” Monica added.
“You two are so perfect for each other,” Alicia cooed, pouring another glass of wine.
“I know,” Monica replied. “I know.”

“What do you want to do today?” Darren turned to Alex. They were sitting on a bench staring at the water, bored. It was their last day and they didn’t know what to do.
Alex turned to Darren, her eyes immediately spotting his bodyguard sitting further down. “Let’s go swimming. Maybe we can think of something after.”
“Okay,” Darren hopped up. “Race you to the pool.”
Laughing, Alex chased after him. Reaching the pool they put their shoes and clothing that had been covering the ir swimsuits on a chair. They both jumped into the pool, forgetting that it was cold.
“Ah,” Alex shouted, her head breaking the surface. “It’s COLD!”
“Oh, does the little spoiled rich girl think she’s too good for an unheated pool?” a boy nearby taunted.
“Yeah,” the girl sitting on the edge of the pool slipped in. “Ohh b-b-b-rrr. It’s FREEZING!”
“No,” Alex said apoplectically. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to those creeps, Al,” Darren said. They’re just jealous of you.”
“Hardly jealous of her compared to you, Darren KILLER!”
“Just ignore them,” Alex warned.
“Can’t you think of a better insult than that?” Darren taunted.
“Come on Darren. Just ignore them. Wanna play catch?” Alex tugged on his arm.
“No,” Darren faced the other boy and girl. “What is it that makes you guys hate us?”
“Umm,” the girl looked confused at the twist of events.
“You know what? Forget it,” Darren turned away. “Let’s go do something else Al.”

“We’re finally home!” Aliex rejoiced, throwing down her bags and throwing herself at her N64. “Oh, Nintendo, I grovel before you.”
Alex’s parents grinned.
“You have to admit that it was fun, sweetheart,” Monica said, picking up her daughter’s abgs compulsively. She turned to Chandler. “We had a wonderful time, Chandler.”
“Yeah, it was fun,” Alex admitted. “But you know me, Mom.”
Chandler motioned to the bags Monica had piled in her arms. “The maid will take care of those, Mon.”
“Oh, will I ever adjust to living like this?” Monica wondered aloud.
“I don’t know about you,” Alex replied, “but I’m sure used to it!”
Chandler and Monica moved out on to the porch, where cold drinks were already set out for them.
“Chandler, honey.” Monica spoke after a long sip of ice tea. “A comment like that from Alex worries me. She used to be so helpful and self-reliant. Now she’s just lazy! And talking to Alicia and Andrew the other night made me wonder…is Al turning into on eof those spoiled brats?”
“Absolutely not!” Chandler was shocked. “No daughter of mine will ever be a spoiled brat!”
“I know you don’t want her to be one, and that’s why you say such things. I did too, when we first moved in here. But now I’m not so sure…I think maybe all the movie excitement, the gifts, the hired help…is all going to her head. We need to teach her what’s right.”
Chandler shrugged. “Well I’ll do what you want, Mon. You know I’d do anything for you-so what is it I should do?”
“Well, I would say, cut back on the gifts. I know you like to surprise her with new stuff, but it’s becoming routine. She expects it. Plus then that doesn’t make birthdays and Christmas special.”
“I see your point. All right. What else?”
“Well perhaps Alex should only get her allowance if she makes her bed every day and sets the table every evening. That’s what I used to do, plus she helped with the dishes. But we didn’t have a dish washer. Also, Chandler?”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t want her to like you for your money.”
“Okay, sweetie.”
“Excuse me, Mr. Bing.” Mr. Lionel, Chandler’s butler, stood in the doorway. “Welcome back, by the way.”
“Hey, nice to see you, Lionel!”
“You too, sir! You’re wanted on the telephone-it’s urgent.”
“Thanks, Lionel.” Chandler stood, and held Lionel back as he turned to go. “Oh, wait. Take the rest of the week off, Lionel.”
“Yes, sir.”
Chandler winked at Monica and she smiled. There was nothing to worry about anymore.

Chandler, Monica and Alex arrived at the hospital about ten minutes later. It would have been five if they hadn’t been stopped by a police officer to get ticketed for speeding by 20 miles.
“Joey had a C-Section?” Alex asked curiously, recalling that Jane’s mother had had one when her baby brother was born. “But he’s a guy!”
“Aunt Joey, sweetie,” Monica explained, as they hurried through the crowded hallways. “She has a new baby.”
“Cool, I’m an uncle!” Chandler realized.
“Does this mean I have a new cousin?” Alex asked. “Because cousins are so cool…”
“Is she okay?” Monica asked Chandler.
“Joey said on the phone that-ahem-the other Joey is finally doing all right.”
“Which Joey called?” Monica asked, mockingly suspicious.
“My sister,” Chandler laughed.
“Aha!”
In the hospital room, things were very calm. Too calm for Alex. While her parents cooed over the baby, whose name was Joelana, she bounced around the room impatiently.
“Does it do anything else, Mom?”
“This is about it,” GJoey replied. “Isn’t it wonderful?”
“I was so scared!” Joey cried. “Joey had to get something called a Bavarian Section and it looked really painful!”
“Ya think?” GJoey replied dryly.
“I thought they would die!”
“Suddenly a C-Section has become a B-Section?” Monica asked, laughing. “It’s not Bavarian, it’s Cesarian, Joey.”
“I don’t care! I still thought they would die!”

Alex glanced around her classroom, watching as her classmates shifted in their seats, talking. She was nervous, about to tell her class what she did for the summer. She saw her best friend Sam giver her a smile, signing out good luck in sign language.
“Class. CLASS!” Alex’s teacher, Mr. O’Mac, silenced the class. “Okay Alex, ready anytime you are.”
Alex gave him a smile and took a deep breath. Looking at the class again, she started to talk. “For the first half of vacation, I didn’t do anything much. I practised my lines, took swimming lessons and played Nintendo until I though my parents would go mad. But the second half was exciting. My dad, mom and I, along with Darren and his mom and dad went on a cruise. The cruise stopped at places in South America, like Rio de Janeiro.”
“I’ll never forget the cruise, because this was the first vacation I had with both my parents. The one thing I do regret though, was there wasn’t a tv. They showed movies every night, but I wasn’t always allowed to go. I spent a lot of the cruise with Darren. We didn’t know anyone else and the other kids, there weren’t many, didn’t like us. We had a good time, though I thought a month was a bit too long.”
“When we came back from the cruise, my Aunt Joey had her baby. it’s a girl named Joelana. Joe for Joey and Joey and Lana for Joey’s mom’s name. She’s really cute, though she doesn’t do much.”
Alex watched the class for a reaction. When they started to clap, she realized she had been holding her breath and began to breath again. She quickly walked back into her seat and slouched down.
“That was good Alex. I bet you got perfect,” Sam commented. “Mine’s so boring compared to yours.”
“That’s not true. You had a great story,” Alex reassured her friend.
“That was great Alex,” Mr. O’Mac said, stepping to the front of the room. “Okay next up is...”

Monica and Chandler entered the school a month later, parent teacher interview had arrived. Chandler followed Monica, trying to ignore all the stares he was getting. Mon also seemed to know where she was going, which was more then Chandler could say.
They stopped at a table just in side the doors. A couple of parent volunteers were sitting at it.
“Hi,” Mon smiled to the other parents. “Where’s Mr. O’Mac’s room this year?”
“Let’s see,” one parent looked at a map. “Okay, straight down this hall, fourth door on the right.”
“Thanks,” Mon replied, turning and starting down the hall. Chandler followed, stopping beside her as the peered through the window on the door. Mr. O’Mac was sitting alone so they knocked on the door and walked in.
“Mr. O’Mac?” Mon questioned.
“Yep,” Mr. O’Mac smiled. “Are you Alex’s mom?”
“Yes, and Alex’s dad,” Mon pulled Chandler forward. He had been hiding behind her.
“Pleased to meet you,” Mr. O’Mac waved them to a seat. “Alex is a bright young girl. None of the publicity she’s been getting seems to go to her head.”
“Thanks you,” Mon replied, touched.
“Yes, she seems to be doing quite well. She’s got a lot of friends and has been having no trouble with the work. Has she said anything to you two?”
“No, she seems to have a lot of fun,” Chandler finally spoke up. “She loves to learn.”
“That she does,” Mr. O’Mac smiled. “I guess that’s all, unless you need something else.”
“Actually there is one thing we needed to discuss with you,” Chandler said.
“Yes,” Mon added. “It’s an idea. You see, we want to know...”

Chandler and Monica left Mr. O’Mac’s classroom and headed back down the hall. Reaching the office, they entered and asked for the Principal.
“Hello,” the principal, Mr. Roseworthy, invited them in. “Is something wrong?”
“Wrong? No,” Chandler reassured him. “We’d like to ask you a question.”
“Okay,” Mr. Roseworthy looked confused. “What’s this about?”
“I’m sure you’ve heard of Darren Schiller,’ Monica said, Mr. Roseworthy nodded. “Since he’s going to be acting in Chandler’s newest movie with Alex, we though they should meet. They hit it off and have become good friends. Darren commented to Alex once, which Chandler overheard, that he misses going to an actual school. Alex replied that maybe he could go with her.”
“We were wondering if Darren would be allowed to come sometime,” Chandler finished up.
“Of course he can. We’d love to have him,” Mr. Roseworthy smiled. “When would this be?”
“Well, we were talking with his parents and decided Friday would be the best time,” Chandler answered.
“Does Alex’s teacher know about this idea?”
“Yes.”

“Can we talk for a minute, Chandler?”
Alex had been in bed for awhile, and Monica and Chandler were sitting by the fire in the living room.
“Sure, what’s up, Mon?”
“It’s just that I’m worried about Alex, honey.”
“Oh no, shall I cancel the maids? Fire Lionel? Take away her toys?”
“Oh, sweetie, no. That was silly of me to underestimate her about that…”
“Sorry, Mon, what is it?”
“It’s just that I’m not totally okay with this whole Darren going to school with Alex thing. I’m not sure the kids really understand just how famous Alex is now…but they will when they see her with Darren. I’m concerned for her safety…I keep remembering what happened to that boy in Star Wars, Episode One. People camped out on his yard-“
“I thought we’d taken care of that, Mon.” Chandler kissed her head reassuringly.
“Well, sure, we live here now, but this kid needed an escort to the washroom! A-a bodyguard. I think Alex needs a bodyguard, Chandler.”
“What?!” Chandler laughed. “Oh…well if it’s what you want, sweetie, I guess I can arrange it. Maybe it’s not such a bad idea anyway. If anything happened to her…in fact, I’ll call right now.”
“Right now? But it’s 10:30!”
“You’ve got a lot to learn, Mon about what it’s like to have connections!”
Monica laughed. “You’re right about that!”
“So we’ll warn Al in the morning,” Chandler said as he reached into his pocket for his cell phone.
“Oh!” About that, honey, let’s not tell her. Or Darren, for that matter. She’s very independent, that’s all. She’d hate for me to control her life like that.”
“I understand. I-I thought she’d hate me for abandoning you.”
“Chandler, I abandoned you. And I’m sorry. I regret it, but it all worked out.”
Chandler hugged Monica tight. This was the way things should be.
“I love you.”
 

Alex watched as Mr. O’Mac picked up the phone. “Uh huh... right... okay,” Mr. O’Mac glanced over at Alex. “Alex, they need you in the office.”
“Okay,” Alex stood up and headed to the door.
“Alex’s in trouble, Alex’s in trouble. “Alex’s friend Corey chanted laughing. Alex turned and glared at him, but ended up dissolving into laughter as she left the class room.

Alex walked quickly down the hall, wondering what was going on. She never gets called to the office. She turned and entered, gasping. “Why are you here Darren?”
“You’re mom and dad arranged for me to spend the day here... I hope you don’t mind,” Darren looked nervous. He glanced over at Chandler, who was standing over at the counter talking with a secretary.
“Of course I don’t. Could this BE any cooler?” Alex laughed. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to my friends. Though two of them you’ll meet at lunch, cos they’re not in my class.”
“Okay,” Darren smiled, sighing in relief. He turned to Chandler. “Mr. I mean Chandler, can we go now?”
“Of course,” Chandler turned towards them and smiled. “Mon or I will be here after school to pick you both up. Have fun!”
“We will,” Alex called back, as she and Darren walked out of the office talking excitedly. “Okay, my teacher’s really cool. His names Mr. O’Mac.  We’ve got LA right now and we’re writing stories. Mine’s about this kid who gets to go to outer space.”
“Neat,” Darren slowed to a stop as they came up to her class room door. Alex opened it, and stepped inside.
Mr. O’Mac spotted Alex immediately, and headed to the front of the room. “Class, another student’s come to join us for the day. Alex will introduce him.”
“Come on,” Alex dragged Darren into the classroom. She heard most of her class gasp in shock. “Everybody, I think you know who this is. But for the people who’ve been living in outer space, this is Darren Schiller. He’s in the next movie that my dad’s directing with me.”
“Nice to meet you Darren,” Mr. O’Mac stepped over to the two and shook his hand. “Alex, I don’t know if you noticed, but there’s another desk over with your friends for Darren. I was pretty sure that he’d rather stay with you then be put some where else.”
“Thanks Mr. O’Mac,” Alex smiled. “Come on Dar. You can meet some of my friends.”
Darren followed Alex nervously over to a group of six desks. There were two boys and two girls sitting at them. One of the girls signed something, and Darren wondered if she was deaf when Alex signed back.
“Okay, Dar, this is Sam, Jane, Corey the goof and Freddy,” Alex pointed to each kid. “And NO Sam, I didn’t keep this a secret. I didn’t know about it.”
“Darren, did she know about this?” Darren watched as the girl he thought was deaf turn to him and ask.
“Um no. Chandler and Monica, her mom and dad, planned it. Mr. Bin-Chandler, had heard us talking about school once.” Darren replied, shocked that they weren’t making a big deal about him being famous. The first question he was normally asked was, what’s it like being famous.
“I guess you can sit there,” Alex pointed to the empty desk beside hers. Darren nodded and sat down quickly. He could feel the stares of some of the other kids on his back.
Darren soon realized if there was one thing he forgot about school, was how fast news travelled. It seemed by the end of first period the whole school knew he was there. When they walked down the halls, Alex and her friends walked around him in a circle. Everyone wanted his autograph, or to just talk to him.
Even though at each recess they had looked for Alex’s other two friends, Alex was right, he didn’t get to meet them until lunch. They were best friends, Jenny and Katie. They were in the other grade 4 class and had been out side all morning planting trees for a project.

Lunch arrived quickly and Darren found himself sitting around the table with seven others.  Alex sat to his right, and Corey sat to his left. Next to Corey sat Freddy, then Jenny, Katie, Jane. It ended back with Sam beside Alex.
Darren like these people immediately. They didn’t treat him differently even though he was famous. It was the first time in his life that he felt like a kid. He felt like he truly had friends who like him for who he was, not how much money he owned.
“You know what game I want?” Corey asked the table. “I want that the sequel to Smash Teens, Smash Teens 2! It’s going to be so awesome.”
“I heard that they got even better graphics this time,” Darren spoke up. “It’s suppose to be named the best selling game of the year, and it hasn’t even been released yet.”
“Hey Al, think your dad will get it early for you again?” Jenny asked.
“Nah, my mom was getting mad at him. Said he was spoiling me to much and that I was becoming lazy,” Alex shrugged. “So I don’t think I’ll get it. But that’s okay. We can all get it when it comes out and then play it. I heard that for the new one you can hook two N64's together and play eight people. But you need two game cartridges.”
“There’s eight of us here. We’ll have to get together and play it sometime when we get it,” Sam suggested. Darren counted the circle quickly, and was shocked to find that she was including him.
“When’s it going to be released?” Fred asked.
“I think next week,” Darren replied after a moment. “I thought it said October 20 in the magazine I was looking at.”
“Hey twerps,” the table glanced up to see their fellow classmate, Justin glaring down at them. Justin was older then them by a year because he had failed a grade. He never let anyone forget it and became the class bully. It was easy to understand why this worked, considering the fact that he was taller then the rest and built bigger.
“What do you want now Justin,” Alex sighed. Would he ever stop bugging her?
“Not much daddy’s girl. Just hand over you’re lunch money. That should do for today,” Justin demanded.
“Forget it,” Alex replied. “Why would I do that?”
“Because then you wouldn’t get your little ass kicked from here to who knows where,” Justin replied slowly, as if she didn’t understand.
“You know what?” Alex asked. “My answer’s still no.”
“Are you sure?” Justin stepped forward. Darren looked around the table, surprised that no one was doing anything.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” Alex replied. She stood up, facing him. “Would you like to take this outside?”
“Fine with me,” Justin motioned to the door. He then said sarcastically, “Ladies first.”
Alex walked over to the door and went out side, Justin and all her friends following. As soon as they were outside, Justin threw a punch. It missed Alex, but only by inches. Darren could tell his friend was getting very mad. Alex jumped forward, lashing out with a punch of her own. Alex’s punch was successful, hitting Justin in the stomach.
Justin groaned, and immediately punched back, this time connecting with Alex’s eye. Alex staggered backwards.
“Stop it,” Darren shouted, jumping between Alex and Justin. He wasn’t about to let his friend get hurt anymore. “Stop it.”
“Get out of my way,” Justin glared at him. When he didn’t move, Justin continued. “I said MOVE it!”
“No,” Darren held his ground. He could out of the corner of his eye a circle forming. Alex came up beside him.
“Darren, leave him alone. This is my fight,” Alex begged.
“No,” Justin interrupted. “Let him stay. Then I can say I’ve beat up Darren Schiller, the rich little actor who can’t act if his life depended on it.”
Alex reached out, grabbing Darren’s arm. She knew if there was one thing that really bothered Darren, it was comments about his acting. Darren struggled, launching himself at Justin. Alex leapt in after her friend. She’d never forgive her self if he got hurt.
“Stop!” The three kids slowly stopped, turning around to see some guy they didn’t know standing over them. “Okay, you three, you’re going to the office.”
Justin, Alex and Darren looked down at their, shoes, following the man. They didn’t recognize him, so they figured he must be new. Entering the office, they heard the secretaries gasp.
“Darren, Alex, what got into you two?”

“I knew you two got into a fight, but my oh my,” Chandler whistled when he picked the two up after school. Both were sporting a black eye and assorted cuts and bruises.
“Hey dad,” Alex climbed tiredly into the back seat, Darren following behind.
“Uh uh, you’re not getting away that easy. What happened? Fess up?”
“Well you know Justin,” Alex started. Chandler nodded, having heard lots about him. “Well he came up to me at lunch and asked for my lunch money. I said no and he said let’s take this out side.”
“And Alex said yes,” Darren continued. “We went out side where Justin tried to punch her. He missed, but she got a good punch in. Unfortunately for Alex, his second punch managed to hit her.”
“Then Darren jumped between us,” Alex added. “He was trying to stop the fighting. I was all for that, but then Justin started to insult Darren so Darren and Justin started fighting. So I jumped back in.”
“Then the teacher came and we got in trouble,” Darren finished up.
“Oh gosh,” Chandler muttered. “How am I suppose to explain this to Monica and to your parents Darren?”
“Just tell them the truth,” Alex suggested. “Besides, mom already knows that I get into fights. I’ve been in one before. But this was my worst.” Alex paused. “Waitaminute! You didn’t tell her?”
“Noo...” Chandler replied. “I thought I’d talk to you guys first. Hear the whole story. She is so going to kill me.”
“My parents won’t mind either,” Darren chimed in. “I’ve gotten into fights before. It comes with being famous.”
“Whatever you say. Darren your parents are going to come pick you up later tonight, so I guess we’ll have to face Monica first.”

Pulling up in front of the house, Darren and Alex hopped out of the car, They could see Monica waiting for them from the porch. Alex ran up the steps, Darren following behind.
“Hey mommy,” Alex threw herself into her moms arms.
“What happened to your eyes?” Mon questioned, after giving Alex and Darren both hugs. She stepped back, and looked at them quizzically.
“We got in a fight,” Alex replied, shrugging her shoulders. “Justin was teasing us.”
“Justin again?” Mon groaned. “Okay, I’ll have to talk to someone about this, But did you put any ice on your eyes yet?”
“We did for a little while, but then we had to go to class,” Darren replied.
“Okay, we’ll let’s go put some more,” Mon turned to Chandler who was just joining them. “Why didn’t you tell me they got in a fight?”
“Cos I thought you’d be harder on them then this,” Chandler replied. “I thought you’d be hard on ME!”
“It’s not your fault if they get in a fight. It’s to be expected. They’re both famous now and they’re both kids.”
“See, there are still so many things to learn,” Chandler replied, shaking his head comically.
“Right,” Mon laughed, turning and heading inside. “Okay you two, let’s get some ice on those eyes.” Monica told them when she found them in the kitchen.
“Mom?” Alex turned to her mom. “I was wondering.”
“About what?” Monica grabbed some ice packs out of the freezer and headed over to the two. They were both lying on couches, so she gave each one a bag and sat down in the chair opposite.
“Well, Darren and I were thinking. Sam’s birthday is in two weeks. Do you think we could do something for her?”
“Like what? You want to give her a party?”
“Yeah,” Alex smiled. “I was thinking that we could give her a surprise party.”
“Okay, where would you want to have this party?” Mon questioned her.
“I don’t know, we were thinking we could come back here for a sleep over though.” Alex replied.
“Who would you invite?” Mon asked. “Besides Sam of course.”
“Well, we were thinking about Jane, Jenny, Freddy, Katie and Corey.” Alex thought about it for a moment. “Darren got along really well with them at school.”
“I know where we should go,” Darren spoke up. “Magic Mountain. I went there when I was really little. It was a lot of fun.”
“That would be so cool,” Alex agreed excitedly. “Ben could come to.”
“Yeah,” Darren nodded. He had met Ben and like Alex, had gotten along with him really well. The three had many Nintendo wars.
“I don’t know honey,” Mon shrugged. “Let me ask your dad about it.”
“Ask me about what?” Chandler walked into the room. He sat down on the chair next to Monica.
“Do you think that Darren and I could give Sam a surprise birthday party?” Alex asked eagerly.
“Well,” Chandler hesitated. “When would it be? What would you do? How many people?”
“It would be not next weekend, but the next weekend, and there would be us two, Sam and five others.” Alex replied.
“And we want to go to Magic Mountain, and Ben could go there with us. After that we want to have a sleep over.” Darren finished up.
“I think the Magic Mountain and number of people is okay. Same with the date. I’ll need to discuss with Darren’s parents and Mon about the sleep over idea first though,” Chandler replied.
“Great!” Alex shouted. “Let’s start planning it now and making the invitations.”
“Okay,” Mon and Chandler smiled at their eagerness.

“That’s it.” Monica stomped into the livingroom where Chandler was reading the evening paper after tucking Alex in.
“What’s it?” Chandler asked without looking up. “My great superior ability at being a charming human being? My wonderful handsome rugged looks?”
“Are you pretending to be John Travolta again?” Monica teased. “No. No! Man! Now I’ve lost my train of thought!”
“Was it something about Alex?” Chandler guessed.
“Yes! Yes, that’s it! Chandler, Alex has always had trouble with that silly Justin boy, but that bodyguard could have broken it up!”
“he’s my friend, Mon. He’s a good bodyguard.”“No, we need another one. Come on, Chandler!”
“Oh, all right, but we’re keeping Frank, too.”
“Oh, and by the way, I want a woman.”
“But honey, you have me!”
“You know what I mean!”
“Yeah, I know.”

“So the sleepover’s okay with you two, then?”
Darren and Alex’s parents were seated in the sitting room, discussing Darren’s involvement in Sam’s surprise party.
“Oh, yes, don’t worry about it at all,” Alicia assured Chandler and Monica. “We’re totally all right with it. Alex and Darren are such good friends, and they’ve had sleepovers before, so don’t you worry.”
“But just be careful at Magik Mountain,” Andrew warned. “We went there once before and Darren was mobbed. Of course, October is an off season, so there isn’t much to worry about, but just to warn you.”
“Don’t worry,” Monica said. “We’ve arranged for two body guards to watch over Alex and Darren, one of them a personal friend of Chandler’s.”
“Oh really?” Alicia asked. “Anyone we’ve heard of?”
“Maybe,” Chandler replied. “His name is Frank Hardy. Does the name ring a bell?”
“Um…”
“Not really,” Andrew admitted.
“Of course you haven’t!” Monica rolled her eyes. “Chandler is just doing his friend a favour by giving him this job! I doubt Frank Hardy has had a job in months.”
“Who’s the other one?” Andrew asked Monica.
“Oh, she’s a lot more well known than that Frank Hardy dude,” Monica replied, grinning at Chandler. “Her name is Faith Tyrell and the last person she was employed by was Dave Letterman. So there!”
“Yeah, I’ve read about her in the paper,” Alicia said. “She’s pretty good I’ve heard.”
“Don’t worry,” Andrew said to Chandler. “I’m sure Frank Hardy will keep them safe as well.”
“Thanks. He’s a nice guy.”
“So do the kids know?” Alicia asked.
“No, we’re afraid they’re too independent for us old fogie worriers.” Monica laughed.
Lionel entered.
“Dinner is served, Mr. Bing,” Lionel announced.
“Great, Lionel, thanks. Will you join us?”
“Me? I-I’m not sure that’s my place, Mr. Bing.”
“And your wife, as well?”
“Danielle? Well…okay, sir. If you say so, sir.”

“She’s here!” Alex shouted, and everyone dove behind couches. It was eight o’clock and everyone had been there since 7:30 waiting for Sam to show up. Alex quickly hid behind a door.
“Alex, can you answer the door?” Mon called out from another room where she was talking with Chandler, the doorbell ringing in the background. “She does expect you to be here you know.”
“Right,” Alex ran to the door as the bell rang again. “Hey Sam!”
“Hey Alex,” Sam replied, dragging in two bags. She dropped them by the door and took off her shoes.
“Hello Alex,” Sam’s parents stepped into the house. “Where’ s your mom and dad?”
“Oh, they’re over in the kitchen.” Alex waved in that direction. “Come on Sam.”
Sam followed Alex as she went over to the door to the next room. Opening up the door, Alex waved Sam in ahead of her.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Everyone shouted, leaping out of their spots. Sam jumped back in surprise.
“Oh my gosh!” Sam shrieked. “Thank you so much Alex!”
“Don’t thank only me,” Alex said modestly. “Darren helped plan it too.”
“Why am I here so early though?” Sam questioned, confused.
“Oh, we’re going to Magic Mountain for the day,” Alex replied. She watched as Darren headed over to the two and joined them.
“Alex, you’re mom said we’re ready to go,” Darren told her. “Happy Birthday Sam.”
“Thanks Darren,” Sam smiled at him. “Are we really going to Magic Mountain?”
“Yeah,” Alex nodded. “But we can’t go yet. Ben’s not here.”
“Nobody fear, I’m here,” Ben walked into the room, a girl his age following him. “Hey Alex, Darren. Happy Birthday Sam.”
“Ben!” Alex dove at her cousin, tackling him in a hug. “I haven’t seen you for what seems like forever!”
“I know Al,” Ben smiled at her. “I’ve been too busy with homework. High school SUCKS!” He chuckled, then continued. “I’ve also been working at sharpening my N64 skills up. I’ll beat you this time.”
“Doubtful,” Alex laughed. Darren nodded in agreement, Ben pulling him into the hug.
“Who’s the girl friend?” Darren nodded over at the girl standing behind him. Ben turned to his “girlfriend” and pulled her forward.
“This is Brook,” Ben introduced her. “Brook, this is my cousin Alex.”
“Oh right, the N64 genius,” Brook laughed. “And I recognize you,” she pointed at Darren. “You’re Darren Schiller, right?”
“Yeah,” Darren replied modestly.
“Nice to meet you,” Brook told him. “Who’s the birthday girl?”
“This is Sam,” Alex pointed to Sam. “And these are my other friends, Freddy, Corey, Jenny, Jane and Katie.”
“Well, I’ll try to remember all those names, but don’t count on it,” Brook smiled.
“Okay gang, are we all here and ready to go?” Chandler asked as he entered the room with Monica. “Good to see you again Ben.” He turned to Ben and Brook. “You must be Brook.”
“Yes,” Brook smiled shyly at him. “It’s nice to meet you Mr. Bing.”
“Oh, just call me Chandler,” he replied. “I hate the Mr thing.”
“Hey Uncle Chandler and Aunt Monica,” Ben greeted them with a hug. “Long time no see.”
“Good to see you too Ben,” Mon told him. “How’s Ross and Rachel doing?”
“They’re fine,” Ben nodded. “Said they’d see you soon.”
“How are you doing Brook?” Mon turned to his friend.
“Good thanks,” Brook replied. “Thanks for letting me come.”
“The more the merrier,” Monica smiled at her. “Okay everyone, we need you to split up into two vans for us.”

Pulling out of the driveway, Alex glanced over at the other van. She couldn’t believe that Darren had wanted to go with the others. Why hadn’t he wanted to go with her?
It wasn’t as if she didn’t have friends with her. She was with Sam, Jane, Jenny and Katie. But it bothered her that Darren found the guys funner (Yes I realize this is not a real word but....) then herself. She almost, almost wished she hadn’t introduced Darren to the others. Darren didn’t have any friends other then you before, her brain reminded her and Alex immediately felt guilty for feeling this way. But she couldn’t help it. She liked being Darren’s best friend. What if he preferred the guys over her?”
“Earth to Al!” Alex snapped to attention to see all her friends staring at her. She could see her mom looking at her concerned out of the corner of her eye.
“Sorry guys, I was just lost in my thoughts.”

Alicia and Andrew were right. Magik Mountain was not at all busy.
“So why do you insist on those dorky sunglasses and hat?” Monica complained to Chandler.
“Because they make me look cool.”
“Wow!” Sam exclaimed. “How can it be that I’ve never been here before?”
“Me too!” Alex chimed in.
“So what should we do first?” Jenny asked, examining the map.
“I remember that there’s this really great ride called The Black Hole,” Darren recalled. “My favorite.”
“Oh, no,” Katie objected. “I remember my boyfriend made me go on that when we came here.”
“You boyfriend?” Brook cut in. “Aren’t you a little young?”
“No,” Katie shrugged. “I’m ten, older than these guys. But Kevin broke up with me right before the summer.”
“Oh! Too bad.” Brook rolled her eyes at Ben. Ben grinned and shrugged.
“Anyway. As I was saying,” Katie continued, “it’s really scary. It’s pure blackness and really fast. Although it wasn’t that bad-we cuddled the whole time.”
“Ooh-sounds scary,” Alex said. Sam smirked, being the only one to get the joke. “I’m definitely not going on that.”
“But it’s so fun!” Darren whined.
“Well it’s up to Sam. After all, she’s the birthday girl,” Chandler pointed out.
“Um…I don’t know. I kind of want to go on the teacups first. They were my favorite at Disneyland,” Sam explained.
“To the teacups, it is, then!” Monica cried, impatiently avoiding any more wasted time.

“Whoa-oh.” Alex staggered from the teacups. “That makes me dizzzzzzy!”
“And The Black Hold won’t, so let’s go!” Darren cried.
“Later, later.” Alex turned up her nose.
“Fine then.”
They both looked at each other and burst out laughing.
“Mom!” Alex cried. “I have to go to the bathroom.”
“Okay. It’s right over there.” Monica pointed to the left. “Just get someone to go with you.”
“Darren?” Alex looked at him.
“Sure.”
“We want to go on, anyway,” Cory said.
“Chandler, will you take them ahead? I’ll wait here for Alex and Darren.”
“Sure thing. Where to, guys?”
Alex and Darren tuned out as they hooked arms and headed for the washrooms.
“Hey, look at that lady over there.” Darren nodded to a woman with fire-engine red hair spilling down to her waist.
“Wild hair,” Alex commented. “And that bald guy with her? They soooo do not have chemistry.”
“What’s chemistry?”
“When two people are believable as a couple.” Alex smiled at Darren as they parted. A few minutes later as they returned, Alex pointed suspiciously at the odd couple. They had moved a few meters closer to Alex and Darren. “Look at them. What is up with them?”
“I don’t know,” Darren replied as they approached Monica.  “I don’t know.”

“Oh my God,” Brook whispered to Ben. “Look.”
She nodded inconspicuously to a group of teenagers.
Everyone was sitting around a few picnic tables preparing for the cake.
Alex watched Brook and Ben as they whispered amongst themselves. She look away, stung. Ben’s relationship with Brook was making her feel a bit out of place. She glanced over at Darren, who was listening intently to a funny story Freddy was telling. Finally, with a pang of jealousy, she looked down at her toes. They weren’t doing anything to make her feel lonely.
Sam, meanwhile, noticed Alex’s annoyance, and glared at Freddy. “Don’t be stupid, we’ve all heard this story a billion times. Even Darren.”
“Yeah, but it’s hilarious!” Darren laughed. “I like hearing it again.”
“Saved by the cake,” Sam whispered to Alex as Monica brought out the birthday cake she had baked. Alex mentally thanked Sam for shutting Freddy up.
“Happy birthday to you,” everyone chorused, “happy birthday to you!”
Alex noticed that the group of teenagers the Ben and Brook and been so warily glancing at, had come closer, giggling and pointing. At that moment Ben and Brook stopped singing and stared at each other, as if trying to disappear.
After Sam had blown out all her candles (with one left over, Katie wouldn’t let her forget), Alex leaned over to Ben. “Is something the matter?”
“Sorry, Al,” Ben apologized. “It’s nothing. Just that we know those kids from school, and-“
Alex had heard enough. She shut her ears and dug into her cake.

“The Black Hole?” Darren begged. “Pleeeease, Al? I’ve convinced evryone else. You’re the last one.”
“Darren Schiller, you can beg, you can plead, you can grovel at my feet…”
“C’mon, Alex, I really want to go before we leave this afternoon. And it’s already two. Please?” Darren’s eyes pleaded with Alex’s. “I’ll sit with you and hold your hand. It won’t be scary.”
“I don’t know…”
“Go on, Alex,” Chandler encouraged. “You’ll enjoy it, I’m sure.”
“Well, okay, Dad. If you think I should.”
“I don’t think this is the kind of ride for me,” Monica shivered.
“You mean we’re supposed to go on it?” Chandler froze.
“It’s okay, Chandler,” Ben assured him. “Brook and I will take them. Where should we meet?”
“We’ll meet back here in twenty minutes, how’s that?”
“Okay.”
“Bye!”
Chandler grinned at Monica as the kids skipped away. “Tunnel of Love?” he asked, grinning.
“Sounds good to me.”
They grinned at each other and Monica took Chandler’s hand. They climbed into the boat and held each other tight.
“Aww, we haven’t done this for a long time,” Monica cooed as Chandler stroked her hair.
“Um, Mon? We’ve never done this before.”
The boat drifted on and the happy couple hugged contentedly.
“Monica?”
“What is it, sweetie?”
“Well, you might have noticed, but in all my movies I give myself a small but satisfying role. And um…I’ve decided that for the Queen of Hearts I’ll be playing Natasha’s boss, Mr. Gibbons.”
“Who’s Natasha, Chandler?”
“That’s my sister’s character. I’ll only be in two scenes, but I need a wife, too. I was wondering if you would do me the honor.”
“I would love to, Mr. Gibbons.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Gibbons.”

At the Black Hole, the atmosphere was quite different from the romantic atmosphere of Chandler and Monica’s boat. Sam and Jenny climbed into the first car, Cory and Freddy in the next, and finally Brook and Ben.
“Come on, guys!” Ben called. “Hurry up or you’ll miss the ride!”
“Come on.” Katie grabbed Darren’s wrist and jumped in the next car.
“Darren!” Alex cried.
Darren shrugged non chalantly. “Sorry, Alex, I’m already belted in, and it’s about to start.”
“Let’s go.” Jane pulled Alex into the last car.
In the dark tunnel, Alex’s stomach flipped in all directions. But not because of the bumpy coast-because of Darren and Katie laughing carelessly in the seat ahead.

After riding the Black Hole, Alex lagged behind the others, wallowing in self-pity. However, the self-pity could not override the sense of being watched. Alex glanced behind her and saw the “odd couple” as they had dubbed the red-headed woman and bald-headed man.
“Darren,” she hissed. “Darren.”
Brook, who was directly in front of Alex, turned, and said kindly, “Alex, I don’t think he can hear you when he’s so far away and you speak so quietly.”
“You’re right,” Alex replied, nervously glancing behind her. The two people were nowhere in site.
Alex moved closer to Darren, then pulled him to the side. “Darren,” she said. “Those people were following me.”
“What people? Oh! You mean the odd couple!” Darren laughed at his nickname for them before continuing. “Don’t worry about it, Alex. So you see the same people twice at an amusement park. That’s hardly a coincidence.”
“But now they’re gone!”
“So either you imagined it or they went on a ride. Keep your head on straight, Alex. Don’t get paranoid.”
With that, Darren ran ahead, and fell in step with Cory and Alex’s other friends.
 

“Ben’s really changed,” Alex commented to her friends as they were laying out their sleeping bags in the basement.
“Totally,” Sam agreed. “But Brook’s nice. At least he’s not dating one of those snobby girls.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Alex sighed. “But did you see Ben’s face when he and Brook spotted people from their school? He never cared about popularity before. And he was never ashamed to be seen with me before.”
“It’s just part of being a teenager,” Jenny replied. “My sister and brother are like that now.”
“I don’t think Ben will be stuck in it for long,” Sam said. “He’ll realize that becoming popular is not at all what it looks like.”
“I guess so,” Alex paused. “But do you remember my old babysitter, Lisa, Sam? She and Lance were just disgusting. They were all kissy and everything. At least Brook and Ben aren’t like that. At least they weren’t in front of us.”
“Well Ben still likes N64,” Freddy said. “He said he’d come over and play it with us sometime.”
“Yeah,” Darren nodded. “He says he got Smash Teens 2 when it was released and that he’s going to beat it before the rest of us.”
“Doubtful,” Alex laughed. “I’m sure we’ll beat him. At least we should try to. I think we should do presents now.”
“Yeah,” Everyone chorused, grabbing present out of bags. They quickly formed a circle and grabbed a bottle for Sam to spin.
“Alex!” Sam cried out excitedly a short while later. Alex handed over a small rectangle. Sam tore off the wrapping and shrieked in the delight. “Smash Teens 2! Thank you so much Al!”
“You’re welcome. I also got one and since we have two Nintendo’s here, my dad said he’d hook them up and we could try playing all eight of us.”
“Okay,” Sam said as everyone else talked excitedly. “Lets do that after I finish opening presents.”
When Sam was finished Alex ran upstairs to find her dad. She found him sitting with her mom watching a movie. They were sharing a chair, (TOW the Free Porn) laughing and cuddling. Alex paused in the door way, watching.
“Dad,” Alex finally broke in. “Can you set up the Nintendo now?”
“Sure Al,” Chandler hid the disappointed look on his face. He had been having fun. Monica moved and let Chandler stand up.
“I’ll pause until you come back,” Mon reassured him. Chandler nodded and followed Alex back down the stairs.
“How’s everything going?” Chandler asked as he entered the room to find the kids sprawled out with the two Nintendo’s sitting in front of them.
“Good,” Everyone replied, glancing up from whatever they had been doing.
“Okay, let’s see if we can get this set up,” Chandler grabbed the directions he had put on the table earlier.
“Do you need any help Chandler?” Darren asked, walking over to him.
“Sure Darren,” Chandler smiled at him. “How’s the party going?”
“It’s fun,” Darren said, frowning slightly.
“Is something wrong?” Chandler questioned, worried. He glanced over at Darren, then back to where he was hooking cables together.
“No, yes, I’m not sure,” Darren said confused. “You see, I like all of Alex’s friends, I mean, they’re nice people, but I’m still not comfortable with them. And Alex seems to want to talk to her other friends more then me. Alex’s my best friend.”
“Oh,” Chandler nodded. “It’s probably nothing. She probably doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. Okay, there you guys go. Where are the game cartridges?”
“Here,” Alex ran over with the two. She stuck them in and they turned on the tv and Nintendo’s. When Chandler was sure everything was working he said good-bye and headed back upstairs.

“Hey mom,” Alex entered the kitchen. Darren had just left and she was bored because there was no one to do anything with.
“Hello Alex,” Mon smiled at her daughter. “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Alex sat down on a stool and watched her mom cut up some vegetables.
“Is something wrong Al?” Mon questioned. She looked at Alex curiously.
“Sort of,” Alex admitted.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Mon asked. She went around the counter and sat opposite Alex on a stool.
“Okay,” Alex paused. “Mom, what do you do if you think your best friend doesn’t like you anymore?”
“Sam doesn’t like you?” Monica asked surprised.
“No, not Sam,” Alex shook her head. “It’s Darren. He spent the whole weekend talking with Freddy and the others. He didn’t talk to me much. And when we went to MagiK Mountain he always went in the other van. And on all the rides he sat beside everyone else.”
“Darren probably doesn’t mean anything by it Al,” Monica tried to reassure her daughter. “He was probably just overwhelmed with having all these new friends who treat him like a friend.”
“But I miss having him to myself,” Alex sighed. “It was funner when I felt like we were best friends. Now I just feel like a ‘friend’.”

“Hurry up Alex,” Sam called to Alex from farther down the hall. They were going to gym class and Alex had forgotten her gym clothes. She had run to get them and was trying to get back before they noticed that she was late.
“Alex Bing?” a teacher Alex didn’t recognize questioned.
“Yes,” Alex stopped and turned towards him.
“Hello Alex, I’m Mr. O’Palfy,” the teacher turned towards her. “I teach the grade eight film class. I wanted to talk with you.”
“Um, okay,” Alex glanced down the hall at her friend.
“Don’t worry about being late. I’ll write you a note,” Mr. O’Palfy reassured her. “I was wondering if you’d talk to your dad about giving a talk to my film class.”
“Sure,” Alex replied. “I’m sure he’d do that. Also, the filming for the movie is starting right after Halloween. I’m sure your film class could take a tour some day. But you’d have to talk with my dad about that. I’ll get him to phone you.”
“Thanks,” Mr. O’Palfy smiled at her. Taking out a piece of paper he scribbled a note and handed it to her. “Give this to your teacher.”

Entering his English classroom, Ben threw his bag on a desk and sat down beside Brook. They were reading A Midsummer Night’s Dream. He hated Shakespeare.
“Hey Ben, Brook,” they glanced up to see Lisa and Lance heading over to them. Ben shook his head in disgust. He knew that Lisa had use to babysit for Alex until one time when Monica had arrived home and found her and Lance making out.
“What do you want?” Ben asked tiredly. He was not in a mood to chat with them.
“Oh nothing,” Lance replied. “Heard you were seen at MagiK Mountain with your cousin Alex and some other little kids.”
“Yeah so,” Brook answered for him. “It was a surprise party for one of Alex’s friends. We went along to help out.”
“Oh a surprise party, well that makes it all better,” Lisa said sarcastically. “I wouldn’t be caught dead with Alex. I mean, now that she’s “famous”...  I mean, I’ve seen her act in that GAP commercial. I mean, she couldn’t act if her life depended on it.”
“Jealous are we?” Ben smirked. He was starting to get mad. If there was one thing he hated, was people making fun of Alex’s acting. He knew she tried really hard and was considered one of the most likely upcoming child stars. “You couldn’t get in a movie if your life depended on it!”
“Is it true that Darren Schiller was there?” Lance questioned.
“Yeah, actually he was,” Brook nodded. “He’s a nice kid.”
“I can’t believe that you two would let your selves be spotted with Darren Schiller!” Lisa commented, laughing like it was a bad thing.
“You met Darren Schiller?” Sara, another popular, but much nicer person joined the conversation.
“Yeah, he’s best friends with my cousin,” Ben said. “They had planned a surprise party for one of Alex’s good friends and we went to MagiK Mountain to help out.”
“That’s right, Chandler Bing’s your Uncle right?” Sara asked.
“Yeah.”

By the time Halloween came upon New York, Alex, Sam and Darren had their costumes all planned out. Alex was planning to be a pirate, Darren, a ghost, and Sam was to go as a tiger.
“The same old costume,” Sam sighed, adding a few more whiskers.
“Hey, I like being a pirate every year!” Alex interjected.
“Yeah, but you’ve updated your version of the costume,” Sam pointed out.
“Right,” Alex laughed, “I’ve upgraded to a Pentium VI pirate eye patch!”
“Boo! Am I scary enough?” Darren asked, showing off his costume.
“Scary? Nah,” Alex replied. “Too fancy to be scary.”
“Fancy for a ghost, that is,” Sam added. “Most people would cut eye holds in a sheet and be done with it. But you-“
“You got yours at Neiman Marcus!” Alex cried. “Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry for you.” She and Sam laughed.
“Why did my mom have to get me this stupid thing?” Darren pulled off the overdone costume and stamped his foot.
“Just cos she loves you,” Alex replied. “It is your first Halloween. Now ditch that three hundred dollar quilt and we’ll make you a real ghost costume!”
Alex pulled the sheet off her bed in one swift movement, and looked at Sam. “Scissors, Nurse Samantha?”
“Right here, Dr. Geller.” Sam scrambled for a pair of scissors on Alex’s desk and ran them back to Alex.
“Dr. Bing, you mean,” Alex reminded her.
“Right!” Sam snapped her fingers. “I keep forgetting.”
“Yeah, Alex, it’s really weird since your last name got changed,” Darren said, watching her with raised eyebrows as she sliced into the silk.

“Well how do we look?” Alex asked as they three of them modelled  their masterpieces.
“Fantabulous!” Chandler declared. “Upgrading to that Pentium VI pirate costume sure helped, too!”
“It isn’t really Pentium VI, is it?” Sam asked.
“No,” Darren answered. Then he looked at Alex. “Is it?”
Alex laughed. “Of course not! It’s just a joke. Mom, what do you think?”
“Sam you look wonderful…” Monica began, “Alex, words don’t begin to describe you; Darren, what happened to your costume?”
Darren faltered. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that looks nothing like the $350 costume Alicia bought you when we went shopping yesterday.”
Sam whispered to Alex, “Hey, you were only off by fifty dollars.”
“Um, mom-“ Alex began.
“The good silk sheets!” Monica shrieked, finally recognizing her beautiful sheet. “Alex, what happened?”
“It’s no big deal, Mon,” Chandler warned.
“But-the sheets-“
“Mom, Darren didn’t like his costume. We made him a good old-fashioned one,” Alex explained.
Chandler stroked Monica’s hair and pulled her into a hug. “We’ll get you some new sheets, sweetheart. There’s nothing to worry about.”
“I-I guess not.”
Chandler kissed the top of her head. “Of course not, honey. Oh, look, Ben and Brook are here.”
Monica opened the door and greeted them.
“Hi! Ready to go, Alex?” Ben asked.
“Any time you’re ready!” Alex replied.
“Are you looking forward to it?” Brook asked Darren. “Alex informed us that this is your first trick-or-treating.”
“Um…”
“Of course he is!” Alex patted Darren on the back. “He’s just a little nervous, that’s all.”
“Well we’d better get going,” Sam said, “if we want to hit all the good houses.”
“But this is your first year in this neighbourhood.” Ben looked at them quizzically. “You don’t know which ones are good.”
“I know.” Alex grinned. “But every year since we were five Sam has said that. It signals that we’re about to leave. It’s tradition!”
“Wow,” Darren sighed. “I’ve got a lot to learn!”

Ben and Brook walked a few paces behind the kids.
“Now ‘splain it to me again,” Darren said. “When we get to each house we don’t  knock on the door?”
“Right. And we don’t ring th ebell, either,” Sam replied.
“Uh huh, we shout. And do I mean shout,” Alex explained. “Especially with all those big, thick doors, it will be even harder to hear us. When we get to each doorstep, we yell ‘Trick or treat!’”
"Smell my feet!" Sam sang.
"Give me something good to eat!"
"Not too big!"
"Not too small!"
"Just the size of Montreal!"
As Sam finished up the song, Darren's eyes lit up.
"Montreal! That's where I was born!"
"Good!" Alex cheered. "Then it will be easy to remember!"
As they continued along, Alex chided herself for ever thinking Darren wasn't a good friend anymore.

An hour later, the three friends had a rather large collection of goodies. Pooled together, they had nearly a pillowcase full.
"Oh, no," they hear Brook whisper. "Look."
Darren, Sam, and Alex all looked. So did Ben.
"Hey, look!" someon shouted. "It's ben Geller and his rich little friends!"
"Hey, Geller," another guy taunted. "Babysitting again?"
"Brendan!" Lisa gasped. "I babysit! Why I used to babysit that rich little brat!"
"Exactly," the first guy agreed. "Babysitting is a girl's job."
"Hey, knock it off, you guys," Sara spoke up. "Alexis is Ben's cousin. He's just being a nice guy."
"Don't defend us, Sara." Brook glared at her. "Just because we used to be friends doesn't mean you have to stick up for me."
"But I-"
"Okay, kids, break it up." A little bald man stepped into the small crowd. "Can't you see there are children here?"
Alex stepped in closer and took Ben's hand. "Oh my gosh, Darren, it's-"
A small riffle of words rose up from the circle, cutting off Alex's words.
"You watch it, Brook. No one talks to my friend that way."
"Shut up, Ryan."
"Let's get outta here."
"Someone's a baby-can't stick up for themselves, huh?"
"Excuse me, excuse me!" A red-headed woman appeared beside the bald guy.
Alex gasped and heard Darren gasp from behind her.
"I'll take those." The woman removed something from Brendan's hands. "Eggs are a no-no, mister."
They all looked at each other and then walked off angrily. Lance turned around to give them the finger. This time Sam gasped too. Sara hung back.
"Sara, just go. Don't worry about me," Brook sighed. "I don't like your crowd."
Sara sighed and slowly followed her friends.

Around ten o'clock, Monica waved goodbye to the last of the trick-or-treaters and smiled at Chandler before turning to go.
"By the way, Mon, Andrew called me today. He and Alicia are having a party the night before Thanksgiving. He wanted to know if we would be able to attend."
"Yeah, that will probably be all right, honey. Will we be bringing Alex or is there going to be alcohol?"
"I don't know. We'll work out all the details with them later."
"Sure, okay."
"Well, I'm exhausted. I think I'll hit the sack. Are you coming?"
"In a little while. G'night."
"'Night."

The next morning they headed into the kitchen to grab a snack. Monica was busy making something so they grabbed a bag of chips and went down into the basement. Turning on the tv they grabbed N64 controllers and turned on Smash Teens 2.
“Do you think we should tell Monica and Chandler about the guys who were following us?” Darren asked after a few moments of silence. They hadn’t had a chance to discuss this problem yet.
“I don’t know,” Alex sighed. “It would worry them.”
“Well, then what can we do?” Darren questioned. “We need to do something.”
“What about the police?” Alex suggested.
“No, they’d tell our parents and they wouldn’t believe us anyway,” Darren shook his head. He paused, then said excitedly, “We could hire a PI!”
“A PI?” Alex said in disbelief.
“Yeah, a private investigator.” Darren nodded. “A private investigator would believe us.”
“How would we pay for one?” Alex asked. “We don’t have access to our parents money, and besides, they’d notice if money went ‘missing’.”
“Well, I’ve got some money we could use to hire the person. Then, we only have to pay him in the end. And in the end we’ll have to tell our parents and they’ll pay for him,” Darren replied.
“I suppose so...” Alex said uneasily. “When and how do we hire one with out everybody knowing?”
“We’ll have to sneak out sometime when no one’s watching,” Darren decided. “We can do it next time I come over.”
“Great!”

“Okay,” Chandler watched as the room became silent and everyone turned towards him. It was the first day of filming and everything was hectic. He had gathered all the actors for a quick talk. He could see Darren and Alex whispering to each other in the back. He smiled, and ignored them, continuing. “As you know, we seem to be having some problems today. It doesn’t look like we’re going to be able to get any filming done, so we’re going to have you guys rehearse different scenes for today, unless an opening occurs. Joey, Joey, Walter and Neve are going to be practising their main scene’s together. Alex and Darren will be practising their scene’s together and the rest of you will be going with George, here, to learn your scenes. The first scene’s shot when possible with be the Joey’s first, so don’t expect to be called upon soon. Okay, thank you.”
Chandler stepped away from the centre and people leaped up and headed in different directions. Joey and Joey headed out, probably to their trailer to see Joelana he guessed. Alex and Darren just stayed in the back of the room talking, not bothering to whisper anymore. He smiled again and headed over to them shaking his head.
“Okay you two,” Chandler told them, their heads snapping around to face him. “You are either going to practise or Alex is going back to school for the day.”
“We’ll practise,” Alex reassured him, causing him to laugh. “Really.”
“Okay, we’ll I think Monica said she could watch you guys today while you practice. She’s waiting for you two in trailer D.” Chandler told them.
“Okay,” they hopped up. “Bye!”

The grade eight film class filed into the conference room that had been used only days earlier by Chandler to inform the actors what was going on. They looked around in awe, and quickly took seats around the large table. Everyone was talking excitedly as they waited for Chandler to come and talk to them about being a director.
When the door to the room opened, everyone fell silent and turned to look in the door way. They were surprised to see to kids standing there, not Chandler. When the two kids entered the room, they realized who they were, Alex Bing and Darren Schiller.
“My dad told us to tell you that he’ll be over in a minute,” Alex told the group shyly. Normally the grade eights would have nothing to do with the grade fours.
“Yeah, he’s just finishing up with a scene,” Darren nodded in agreement. The two quickly turned to go, but Mr. O’Palfy stopped them.
“Why you’re here, do you think you guys could tell us anything?” he asked.
“Um,” Alex glanced over at Darren, he nodded. “Sure, I guess. What do you want to know?”
“Well, why don’t you tell us what it’s like for an actor to film a scene?” Mr. O’Palfy suggested. Alex and Darren looked at each other and broke down into laughter. They were both remembering shooting their first scene together yesterday.

Alex took a deep breath and switched gears to her character, Leigh. Darren, whom she now viewed as Tommy, gave her a reassuring smile as they began filming their first scene.

Leigh took her place at the classroom desk directly in front of Tommy. She glared at him. He was the class jerk, as it was plain to see.
“Hi, Leigh!” her friend Tess cried from beside her. “Guess what? Meg told me that Tommy is out to get you!”
“Ssh! He’s right behind us!” Leigh warned. She reduced her voice to a whisper. “Okay, what’s up?”
“I don’t know exactly,” Tess admitted. “Why don’t you ask him?”
“What is up with you?” Leigh swiveled around to face Tommy.
“With me?” Tommy asked innocently.
“Ew. Ewww-“ Leigh patted the back of her hair suspiciously. “What did you put in my hair?”
All of a sudden she jumped up and shrieked. “You put gum in my hair, you jerk!”
“Tommy!” Mr. Walters shouted. “I’ve had quite enough of your joking around. To the office, young man!”
Tommy smirked as he walked non chalantly by Leigh.
Leigh stamped her foot on the ground.

“Cut!” Chandler yelled. “Wow! Rarely have I been so fortunate so that we don’t have to redo a scene. Great job, guys!”
Alex and Darren giggled as they skipped off the set.
“What’s so funny, you two?” Chandler grinned.
“I-I don’t know if the camera caught it,” Darren giggled, “but Alex made a silly face at me as I walked past!”
They burst into a fit of laughter.
“It’s true, Bing,” a cameraman nearby chimed in. “I saw it.”
Chandler sighed. “I knew I could never have the perfect scene. Take two!”

“Why are you two laughing?” Chandler asked Darren and Alex as he entered the room. “What did I miss?”
“Nothing,” Alex looked over at Darren, dissolving back into laughter. The two laughed while Chandler gave them a strange look.
“Well, since both of you are here, why don’t you help me?” Chandler suggested. They both nodded and followed him to the head of the table. “Welcome to the set of Queen of Hearts. I’ll just talk to you quickly before we take you on a tour. After the tour we’ll have lunch and then, I’m not sure if Mr. O’Palfy told you, we’re going to film one of Alex and Darren’s scene’s with you as extra’s.”
Alex and Darren tuned out as Chandler explained quickly the process of making a film and had the group ask questions. They were brought back to reality when they realized that everyone was getting up to leave. They walked over to Chandler who was talking with Mr. O’Palfy.
“Okay Alex, Darren, I need you two to conduct the tour. Susan will go with you incase you need any help. I would be taking them myself, but I’ve got to go direct a scene right now,” Chandler turned towards them.
“Okay,” Darren nodded. “What do we do after the tour?”
“Bring them over to the lunch counter. If the Joey’s can, they said they’d come out and say hi. Bye!” Chandler rushed off leaving Darren and Alex standing there with a group of grade eight students ready for a tour. They could see Susan off to the side, but figured when she didn’t move forward that they were suppose to try and do the tour themselves.
“I guess we’ll go to the makeup trailer first,” Darren suggested. “No one’s suppose to be in it right now.”
“Right,” Alex nodded. She turned to the group. “Just a couple of rules, no screaming and yelling, stay with us and feel free to ask questions.”
The group of grade eights nodded and followed the two kids as they headed out of the room and down the path.

An hour later the group walked over to the lunch counter and sat down. The grade eights were discussing what they had seen and Alex and Darren were bored. It had been neat at the beginning to find that the grade eights were actually listening to them, then they decided it was just boring.
They had been sitting around for about five minutes when the Joey’s showed up. Alex and Darren were the first to spot them arriving with Joelana.
“Joey!” Alex and Darren shouted, running over to see them. The Joey’s laughed and GJoey set down Joelana to give them a hug.
“I heard you guys were giving a tour today,” GJoey commented. “Are these the people we were suppose to come and say hi to?”
“Yep,” Darren nodded. “They’re grade eights from Alex’s school. Mr. O’Palfy!” Darren shouted for the teacher. He walked over quickly. “Mr. O’Palfy, this is Joey and Joey Tribianni and their daughter Joelana.”
“Nice to meet you,” Mr. O’Palfy shook hands with the two Joeys. He pointed at Joelana. “She’s very cute.”
“Thank you,” Joey smiled. “Is there anything you would like us to tell the kids about?”
“Nope, not at all. They probably have a million questions if you don’t mind.”
“Of course not,” GJoey shook her head. “We’d love to,”
“Thanks,” Mr. O’Palfy turned back to his class who had been watching the exchange eagerly. “Okay everyone, Joey and Joey here have agreed to answer you’re questions until Chandler shows up. Now don’t shout out. Raise your hand.”
“You, in the yellow shirt,” GJoey pointed to one kid.
“What’s it like filming a movie when the director is your brother-in-law, the person you’re playing opposite is your husband or in the other Joey’s case, wife, and one of the main kids is your niece?” The Joey’s looked at each other, unsure what to say.
“Um...” Joey started. “It’s not bad or anything. It’s kind of nice, like a holiday. You get to see all your relatives and you get paid for it.” He chuckled along with the rest. “But no, it really is nice. Alex and Joey are great actors and Chandler’s a great director. None of us treat each other any different if we weren’t related. Besides, by the time you finish filming a movie it seems as if you’ve known each other you’re whole life. You spend months with a person for what seems like twenty-four hour days. Yes, in the back.”
“Do you ever wish you were directing instead of filming?” a girl asked shyly from the back. Alex recognized her as a fairly popular, but extremely shy student.
“Yes, all the time,” GJoey laughed. “You see, when you’re filming a scene where you’re kissing another character, the director keeps saying move your head this way, more passion, bla bla bla! It can get frustrating and you wish that you would switch places just once so the director would know what its like.”
Seeing that everyone was entertained, Alex and Darren slipped out the back and headed over to the makeup trailer. They needed to start getting ready for their afternoon filming. Entering the makeup trailer, they said hello to the hairdressers and everyone and sat down in chairs opposite each other. The hairdressers and others had been in the business for a long time and realized quite quickly that kids get bored easily. They had arranged their trailer so the two chairs were facing each other with a table in the middle for a board game. Darren and Alex liked to amuse themselves with a game of trouble.
When they had finally gotten into their costumes and were ready to film, they walked down to sound stage D. They were filming a scene at the school again, but it only involved the two of them and a group of extra’s, the grade eights. Arriving at the sounds stage they found Chandler and the grade eights waiting for them. Everyone was excited to start filming. Chandler needed to get this shot done quickly, because the grade eights needed to return to school.

Joey writes A and D hire a PI

Chandler and Monica arrived at Alicia and Andrew’s thanksgiving party late. Joey and Joey had dropped off Joelana earlier and Ben and Brook were late arriving to babysit. But they made it, and that was what counted.
Entering the room, they could tell that this party was going to leave them with a hangover. Half the people were already drunk and the other half were half way there. Chandler grabbed two glasses of wine and gave one to Monica.
They soon found that it didn’t take long to catch up with rest. Within a half hour, the whole party was drunk and having a ball. Monica and Chandler danced with each other, and with others. They party seemed to have no other point then to get drunk and have fun, something neither Chandler or Monica had done in a long time.

“So what do you guys want to do?” Brook asked Alex and Darren. The three of them, along with Ben and Joelana were sitting in the basement. Ben was busy playing with Joelana, to the amusement of the others, so they were debating what to do.
“I don’t know,” Alex sighed. “I’m bored though. I want to do something!”
“Same,” Darren nodded in a agreement. “We could play Nintendo?”
“Nah, we’ve already passed all the games out,” Alex shook her head. “And there’s nothing on tv.”
“What about a movie?” Brook suggested. She had noticed that Chandler seemed to have almost every movie ever made.
“I don’t know,” Alex stood up and walked over to the shelves. “I suppose we could watch one,” she shrugged.
“Okay, we’ll watch a movie,” Brook decided. “Now, all we need to do is decide which one. What kind do you want to see?”
“Not an action or horror,” Darren shook his head. “They’re boring. How about a comedy?”
“Romantic?” Alex asked. “Plain comedies don’t have a plot and are boring.”
“Sure,” Darren shrugged. He joined Brook and Alex at the shelves. “Here, isn’t this that one that is a true story?” He grabbed one off the shelf. It was called Never Been Kissed.
“That’s right,” Brook nodded. “I heard about that. It’s about a reporter who goes back to highschool under cover to get a story and falls in love with her teacher.”
“Let’s watch that,” Alex suggested. “I’ve never seen it.”
“Great,” Brook took the movie and stuck it in the VCR. Sitting down, the three started to watch. Three movies later, Brook and Ben realized it was getting really late. Joelana was already asleep, so they moved her into another room and left her with the baby monitor. Herding Darren and Alex up the stairs, they made sure they got changed and climbed into bed. Darren was sleeping in the guest room next to Alex. It had become almost a second bedroom to him, as he had slept over many times.
After making sure that everyone was asleep, Brook and Ben also got changed and climbed into their beds. Monica and Chandler had been quite sure they’d be late and had decided that it would be easier to just have Brook and Ben sleep over, instead of driving them home.

Latter that night, Chandler and Monica stumbled into the house, leaning on each other and laughing. They turned to go different ways and found themselves looking at each other in the eyes. Slowly they moved forward, lips touching in a long awaited kiss. The kiss became more and more passionate and they moved down the hall into the bedroom.
Just over an hour later, Chandler stumbled out of the bedroom and headed down the hall. He was sleepwalking, something that happened occasionally, but rarely.

The next morning, Monica leaped out of bed and ran into the bathroom. Standing over the toilet, she continued to puke for about ten minutes. When she finally got herself under control, she grabbed some Tylenol from the cupboard and swallowed them quickly. Monica then stepped into the shower, letting cold water wash over her.
After getting dressed, Monica headed down to the kitchen. She found Darren and Alex sitting at the counter as Ben and Brook made breakfast. Chandler, like herself was holding his head and a cup of coffee. Ben quickly poured her a cup and she joined Chandler at the table.
“What happened to you guys?” Ben questioned. “Party a bit more exciting then planned?”
“Oh yeah,” Mon moaned. “All I remember was there was wine... and lot’s of it.”
“Would you like us to stick around until Darren and Joelana are picked up?” Brook asked. “You probably shouldn’t be driving now anyway.”
“Thanks,” Chandler told them gratefully. “I think I’m going to eat something and then go back to bed.”
“Same here,” Mon nodded in agreement. “Though I think I might skip food and go straight to bed.”
“You should eat something,” Brook shook her head. “It’s suppose to make the hangover go away faster.”
“Okay,” Mon shrugged. “I’ll try. How was your night last night?”
“It was fun,” Alex replied. “We watched Never Been Kissed. It’s a good movie.”
“That’s the one about Josie Gellar, right?” Chandler asked.
“Yeah,” Darren nodded. “I don’t normally like romantic comedies, but that one was funny.”
Brook and Ben placed toast, eggs and bacon on plates and brought it over to the table. Alex and Darren hopped off the stools and joined Monica and Chandler. Brook and Ben also sat down and they all dug into breakfast.

“Mom, it’s Thanksgiving!”
When Alex screamed in Monica’s ear she felt as if her head would split.
“Honey, I know you like Thanksgiving, but-“
“And Dad said the Schillers are coming over! But what about the others?”
“Rachel and Ross went to Mom’s, and the Joeys went to Joey’s grandmothers’.” Monica rubbed her temples slowly.
“Aw, I was hoping to see Joelana. She’s starting to actually do something now-smile!”
“I can’t smile, sweetie, I have a headache.”
“Mommy, ar eyou okay? I wasn’t asking you to smile. I said Joelana can smile.”
“Oh, I see. Ohhh.” Monica held her head in pain.
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Yes. Bring me an aspirin and glass of water. Now let’s see Chandler gave the chef the day off to be with his family…one more thing, sweetheart. Cook dinner for me.”
“Pardon me?”
“Oh, please, Alex, I feel so sick and I’m sure Daddy does too. I don’t care what or how you do it, just make sure Dorothy cleans up before I see it. You know how I get when there’s a mess around.”
“Yes sir!-I mean madam.”

When the doorbell rang, Alex beat Lionel to it, even though she was all the way up in her room.
“Darren! Guess what we get to do today!”
“Oh, I know!” Andrew jumped in. “You get to make dinner.”
“How did you know?”
“Well, after seeing the chef leave the house and the way your mother drank last night…”
“Excuse me?”
“Um…” Andrew scratched his ear. “Wild guess-really.”
Lionel took Alicia and Andrew’s coats and showed them to the sittingroom where Chandler and Monica lay groaning.
Alex and Darren ran to the kitchen.
“Okay. I’ve already put the turkey in the oven. We need to do the stuffing and stuff.”
Darren laughed. “Okay, point the way to the stuffing and stuff. Oh, and odn’t forget the mashed potatoes and mashed.”
Alex stuck her tongue out at him, but they began contentedly.

Two hours later the kids were exhausted.
“Turkey? Check,” Alex said methodically. “Potatoes? Check. Peas and carrots? Check. Stuffing, pie, and yams? Check, check, check.”
“What’s with the checks?” Darren stared up at Alex from his chair.
“I never noticed before that I did it. My mother does it all the time. It’s normal to me.”
“Oh, like how my mom paints her nails. Once I-oh my gosh. Um…never mind.”
Alex smirked at Darren. “Okay.”
Darren and Alex moved to the frontroom where they gazed out at the yard from over the top of the couch.
“Al…remember the time we hired that private investigator?”
“Yeah.”
“And remember why we hired that private investigator?”
“Yes…”
“Well don’t look now, but there’s the reason!”
Alex followed Darren’s stare, landing on a spot of red hair behind a rose bush.
“Oh my gosh…not again. I wonder where Mr. Whatsisname -Poirot- is.”
“In a better hiding spot than them, I sure hope,” Darren returned dryly.
“What if he’s not here?” Alex worried. “After all, it is Thanksgiving. What if he took a day off? Who’s going to watch our…our stalkers?”
“Well I suppose we’ll have to,” Darren decided. “We’ll stay here and watch them until the timer goes off for the turkey.”

Alex had no idea of the time when she awoke later. All she knew is that the red hair had disappeared from behind the bush and…the turkey would be burning!!! She shook Darren, who had also fallen asleep.
“Darren! The turkey! The turkey!”
Darren awoke in a flash and they raced for the kitchen.
“Um…”
“I don’t smell anything.”
“Burning or cooking,” Alex agreed.
Alex flung open the oven door.
“Let me guess,” Darren sighed. “We didn’t turn the oven on.”
Alex nodded sadly.

“Now let’s just push this stuff over to the side. The maid or chef will clean it up.”
It was ten minutes later, and Alex and Darren had gotten the food, uncooked or moldly or otherwise, from it’s place.
“Macaroni and cheese was always my dad’s favorite Thanksgiving meal anyway,” Alex said as she pulled a few boxes of elbow macaroni from the pantry shelf.
“Y’know, this is fun,” Darren said. “Even though we kinda botched it up.”
“I know what you mean. I’ve never had such fun!”
“Well, it could be better.”
“How’s that?”
“If, like, Cory or Freddy were here. It would be so cool then.”
Alex was silent a few moments. What was wrong with her? Darren didn’t think she was a good friend? Oh, it was happening again. He was doing it to her again.
“Yeah, well…if Sam or Jane were here my day would be complete. Uh…there’s just something missing without them. There’s you, there’s me, there’s my parents, but it just sucks without someone like Sam or Jane.”
Darren’s eyes widened. What the heck had Alex meant by that?
By now the water on the stove was boiling.
“Well, aren’t you going to stop it from boiling over?” Darren asked snidely. “It is your house after all.”
“You should get it. It was your idea to use macaroni and cheese.”
“Well someone get it!”
Lionel had snuck up behind them and surprised them. He gave them a bit of a look, then poured the macaroni in. “Don’t fight. It’s Thanksgiving. Give thanks for each other.”
Lionel exited feeling quite a bit happier.
Alex stuck her tongue out at Darren when he wasn’t looking. Darren stuck his tongue out at Alex when she wasn’t looking. They did not give thanks for each other.

“Hello?” Alicia answered the phone.
“Hi Alicia,” Alex greeted her. “Can I talk to Darren?”
“Of course Alex,” Alicia put her hand over the phone and shouted for Darren. He came bounding up the stairs from the basement with Freddy.
“What mom?” Darren questioned.
“Alex is on the phone,” Alicia handed Darren the phone.
“Hello?” Darren spoke into the phone. “What’s up Alex?”
“Hi Darren,” Alex said cheerfully. “I was wondering if you would like to come over and play.”
“Oh,” Darren replied. “I can’t. Freddy’s over.”
“Okay,” Alex tried not to sound disappointed. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just phone someone else.”
“Are you sure?” Darren felt bad. “Maybe you could come over here.”
“No, that’s okay,” Alex shook her head, forgetting he couldn’t see her. “I’ll see you another time.”
Alex hung up the phone and sunk into a chair disappointed. Why was Freddy over? Why didn’t he want to play with her?

“This is nice,” Monica whispered. “Just the two of us. Alone.”
“Champagne?” A waiter appeared at the table.
Monica’s lip curled in disgust. Ever since Thanksgiving she had sworn off alcohol.
“Er, no thanks,” Chandler replied. “But we would like to order. I’d like to try the charbroiled lobster and caesar salad. Mon?”
“Um, the same, I suppose. You have good taste, Chandler. Oh, and a glass of reserva Salice Salantino red wine. Ooh, I mean, I mean a glass of water, please.”
“Okay. Two of the charbroiled lobsters. We’ll start with the shrimp and oyster dish for our hors d’uevres.”
“Very good, sir.”
While they waited for their hors d’uevres, Chandler and Monica reminisced about the past.
“Mmm, those oysters smell absolutely wonderful,” Monica raved as they were placed between the couple. She turned to the waiter. “Is there any chance I could get the recipe?”
“I’m sorry, madame. That’s a secret.”
“But it’s not like I’d be selling it! I’m a caterer!”
“Um…Mon, you’re kind of contradicting yourself there.”
“Oops. Sorry. Yes, of course.”
A faint ring came from Chandler’s pocket. “Oh, dear. Interruptions, interruptions. Chandler Bing here. Alex? Are you all right, princess? Stalkers? Outside the house, you say. Alex, gather up Darren and that P.I. you were talking about and go to the sitting room. I’ll round up the stalkers.”
Monica stared at Chandler worriedly as he replaced the cell phone. “Honey, what is it? Is Alex okay? Where is she? What about stalkers?”
“It’s all right, honey. It seems we’ve blown our cover. Alex and Darren seem to think that their bodyguards are stalkers.”

“So that’s it?” Alex cried. “These people are our bodyguards? I didn’t even know we had bodyguards!”
“Well neither did I!” Darren protested. “Why didn’t anyone tell us? Shouldn’t we have been told?”
“Guys, we didn’t know you would jump to conclusions that way. We didn’t want to take away your independence…” Chandler began.
“Take away our independence?” Alex shouted. “You took it away, all right, you just didn’t let us know that you took it away!”
“We’re sorry, sweetheart. We were worried about you. You may be an independent individual, Alex, but while you’re that, you’re also a young girl. A rich, famous young girl. Anyone could try to take advantage of that fact. Do you understand?” Monica asked.
“I guess so.” Alex hung her head.
“It was pretty independent of you two to hire Mr. Poirot, though,” Chandler admitted.
“Even I believe that,” Monica agreed.
“I enjoyed working for you children.” Mr. Poirot turned to Alex and Darren as he stood. He tipped his hat and turned to go. “Thank you very much.”
“So what’s going to happen now?” Frank Hardy asked. “Are we still employed?”
Chandler and Monica looked over at Alex and Darren. “It’s up to you two.”
“Well, I have to admit,” Darren said, “that we had a lot of fun trying to escape from your evil clutches.”
“Evil clutches?” Faith gasped. “Hardly! We were protecting you.”
“Don’t get touchy,” Alex said. “He’s just joking. And I guess, especially with those stupid people that our in Ben’s class, that we could still use you. Mom, remember I told you about them?”
“Yes. Oh, those horrible children.”
“On Halloween we broke up a fight waiting to happen between those kids and Ben and…Brook?” Frank added.
“And I took some eggs away from one kid. What horrible ninnies,” Faith chimed in.
“Well now that that is all worked out,” Monica said, “should we return to dinner?”
“No,” Chandler said, “there’s no point in doing that. They will have cleaned up after us already. Let’s order pizza for the rest of us.”
Monica looked away disappointedly. She was looking forward to a nice evening alone. Somehow that had changed to a six person thing.

“Please welcome, Alex Bing and Darren Schiller!” Rosie shouted, and the camera swung towards the entrance way. Darren and Alex walked out. Alex was looking around nervously, but Darren had been on before and just thought this was ‘normal’.
“Hi,” Alex and Darren greeted Rosie with a hug. They sat down in the chairs next to Rosie’s desk, Alex nearest the desk and Darren on the out side.
“So how’s the filming been going?” Rosie questioned. Alex and Darren both started to talk and turned and glared at each other. Rosie, missing their glares, interrupted. “Alex, why don’t you go first.”
“Thank you,” Alex smiled at Rosie. “The filming’s being going fairly well. We filmed a scene with the grade eight film class from my school and that was fun.”
“Yeah,” Darren nodded. “Chandler’s a great director and we’ve managed to stay pretty close to the schedule. We’ve got a lot of filming left to do, and are actually going to be shooting one of the hardest scenes for me and Alex in just a few days.”
“Oh, and what scene is that?” Rosie questioned. “Or are you not allowed to tell?”
“All I’ll say is that it’s a fight scene,” Darren smiled. “It should be pretty tough.”
“I don’t think so,” Alex shook her head. “It’ll be pretty easy. All I need to do is get mad at you... and hey! I’m already there!”
“Let me get this straight,” Rosie leaned forward. “Alex, you’re mad at Darren?”
“Hey, it goes both ways,” Darren interrupted. “I’m just as mad as she is.”
“What’s this about?” Rosie tried to calm them down. It didn’t work as they seemed to be getting more and more riled up.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Alex replied. “I have no idea why he’s mad at me. I’m the one who should be mad.”
“You?” Darren asked in disbelief. “Why should you be mad? It’s your fault!”
“Is not!” Alex said back.
“Is too!” Darren replied.
“Nuh huh” Alex said, Darren replying with “Yuh huh.” Their voices steadily rose, until they were almost shouting at each other.
“Um, I think we’re going to take a break,” Rosie said quickly to the camera. As soon as they were off the air, Andrew and Alicia who had brought them rushed onto the stage.
“Quiet,” Andrew said slowly and calmly. Alex and Darren stoped and looked over at him. “Okay you two, what’s going on?”
“Nothing!” Darren said, turning his head so he didn’t have to see Alex.
“Okay, this is definitely not nothing,” Alicia replied. “I’ve never seen either of you that mad. What’s up?”
Darren and Alex just sat there, refusing to say anything. Alicia and Andrew sighed, and shrugged their shoulders. “I think we better take them home,” Andrew told Rosie who nodded in agreement. “Maybe we can reschedule when we’ve got this worked out.”
Alicia and Andrew led the two kids off the stage and out to the car. In the car, they placed Darren in the front with Andrew and Alicia sat in the back with Alex.

“What happened?” Monica asked, opening the door as they walked up the front steps. “I was watching and when Rosie came back they were gone.”
“We decided that after their fight they didn’t need to be on tv anymore today,” Alicia shook her head. Monica waved them all in. Alex walked up the stairs with out saying a word and disappeared in to her bedroom. Darren just stood there, not following, nor doing anything.
“Darren, why don’t you go play Nintendo or something,” Andrew suggested. Darren nodded mutely and headed into the basement. The three parents watched this and sighed. They then all walked into the kitchen. Monica poured them glasses of coffee and then they sat down at the kitchen table.
“What do you thinks go into them?” Monica asked. “They use to be such good friends. They never wanted to be apart.”
“I don’t know,” Alicia shook her head. “I’ve never seen Darren so upset.”
“I’ve never seen either that upset,” Andrew commented. “It sounded like their both mad at the other for doing something and they don’t know what the other is mad at them for.”
“We should talk to Chandler, see if they’ve been acting like this at the studio,” Monica suggested. “I can ask him when he gets home.”
“That would be great,” Alicia nodded. “If you find out anything phone me. We’ll try to get Darren to talk tonight.”
“Okay,” Monica nodded. Alicia and Andrew stood up.
“We’d better be going before they get in another fight,” Andrew told Mon.
“Sure,” Monica agreed. They headed back into the hall. Andrew called Darren and Darren hurried up the stairs, eager to leave.
“Bye,” Alicia and Monica hugged. “I’ll see you when they’re taping their big scene next week.”
“Right,” Alicia nodded. “Excited about your scene with Chandler?”
“Oh yeah,” Mon laughed. “Bye.”

“Hey, princess,” Chandler greeted his daughter. “How’s about a Rangers game tomorrow night?”
“Sounds great!” Alex cheered. She loved going places with her dad. Not only that, but it would get her mind off of Darren.
“Okay, great, I’ll call Andrew.”
“Andrew? Andrew Schiller?”
“Yes, Andrew Schiller. We don’t know any other Andrews. Oh, wait. You don’t have a crush on an Andrew do you? Ohh, cos that would make sense. Why you said ‘Andrew?’ Now just tell me-“
“No, Dad! No! I just want to know why you’re calling Darren’s dad!!!”
“Alex, Al, calm down. Darren’s dad and I discussed going to the hockey game yesterday when we went to breakfast, and I also talked to Ross, and he wants to go too. And since you want to go, I’m going to call him up and confirm! He’ll be getting the tickets if indeed we’re going to go.”
“So…it’ll be you, me, Uncle Ross, and Andrew?” Alex asked cautiously.
“Yup. Ross said Ben would be out with Brook, otherwise he would come too.”
Alex breathed a sigh of relief.
“And Darren of course.”
“Aw, Dad, why is he coming?”
“Because he likes the Rangers and would like to cheer them on.”
“B-but…”
“I thought it would be nice if you had a friend for a companion, Alex. Sorry!”
“Oh, I wouldn’t mind a friend,” Alex said thoughtfully. “What if I invite Sam?”
“Sure thing, princess.” Chandler turned to go. “I’ll ask Andrew to get an extra ticket.”
“Aw, man.” Alex flopped down in a chair as her dad walked away. Well, she thought, at least I’ll have Sam. I can completely ignore Darren if I feel like it.

The first thing Alex saw when she, Sam, and Chandler arrived at Madison Square Garden, was Freddy standing not twenty feet away.
“Hey, look, Sam, there’s Freddy! Hey, Freddy!” she cried. Sam joined in the shouting.
Darren appeared by Freddy’s side and handed him a plate of nachos.
“Oh, no! Dad!!!!” Alex turned to her father.
“When Andrew told Darren that you were bringing a friend,” Chandler explained, “Darren called Freddy up and invited him.”
“But-but-“ she stuttered.
“Andrew! Ross!” Chandler shouted. “Let’s find our seats!”

When Alex first said hello to Darren, she asked him politely if he would like to sit beside her. He politely declined, saying that he would rather sit with his father on one side of him and Freddy on the other. Sam watched Alex’s disappointed face as they plopped down in their seats, Alex and Darren as far away as possible from each other.
Other than the tensions between two certain fans, the game went smoothly, punishing the Devils 3-0. There was one major fight between Niinimaa and Boukeboom (We’re pretending these players are still in the national hockey league at this point and are on those particular teams at this particular time.) Alex recalled the tele-commentators throwing remarks like “Niinimaa throw a haymaker!” and “In this game, ya knock ‘em down, ya win.”
I wish I could knock Darren off his gold throne, Alex thought. That would teach him that I’m his best friend. Alex contemplated her last thought and frowned. Wait a minute…

“Hey Alex,” Darren greeted Alex when she picked up the phone.
“Hi Darren,” Alex replied. “What’s up?”
“Just wondering if you wanted to come over?” Darren crossed his fingers and hoped. He was bored and needed something to do, or someone to play with.
“Sorry Darren, but I can’t,” Alex told him. “Sam’s coming over in ten minutes to play.”
“Oh,” Darren couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his voice.
“I’m sorry,” Alex said again. She didn’t like to do this to him.
“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Darren didn’t want her sympathy. “I’ll just watch a movie or something. Bye.” Darren hung up before she could reply. He walked over to the tv and flipped it on. Sinking in to a chair, he stared at the tv, not really seeing what was going on.

“Alicia, this is Rachel Geller. Rach, Alicia Schiller.”
“Hey.”
“Nice to meet you.”
Alicia and Rachel shook hands.
“Ohh, I just saw the sweetest twin babies in a stroller outside,” Alicia cooed, removing her coat and handing it to Lionel. “Thanks.”
“Oh, don’t tell Monica,” Rachel warned. “She’s obsessed with babies.”
“You forget, Rachel, that I have Alex now.”
“No, I didn’t forget.” Rachel smiled.
Monica looked away.

“Okay you two, ready?” Chandler asked Darren and Alex. Darren and Alex looked at each other and glared, then turned to Chandler and nodded. Today was the day they filmed their big scene, the fight. They could see some reporters watching from the side. It was the only scene the reporters were going to be allowed to see filmed.
“Three, two, one, action,” Chandler directed, and Alex and Darren became Leigh and Tommy.

“Why are you here?” Leigh asked Tommy as she walked over to him.
“Why does it matter to you?” Tommy asked back.
“Because seeing someone like you could really ruin a person’s day.” Leigh glared at him.
“Oh,” Tommy pretended to be sympathetic. “Am I ruining your day?”
“O h no,” Leigh said sarcastically.
“What is wrong with you?” Tommy asked.
“YOU!” Leigh screamed.
“Hey, that’s not very nice,” Tommy taunted Leigh. “Can’t you do better then that?”
“You wanna bet?” Leigh strode forwards and pushed him. Tommy fell back wards.
“Now that’s not fair!” Tommy shouted, jumping back to his feet. He ran at Leigh and pushed her. “If you’ve got problems you don’t need to take them out on me.”
“Hey, you’re the one with problems,” Leigh screeched. “You need help.”
“That’s not true,” Tommy replied, shouting as well. “You’re the one who needs help.”
“Well at least it’s not my mom that had to sleep with the boss to get her job,” Leigh taunted.
“What?” Tommy shouted. “That’s not true. Besides, you don’t even know your mom. Maybe she did sleep with her boss to get a job.”
“Hey,” Leigh was getting upset. “That’s not very nice. But I do have a dad which is more then you can say.”
“Yeah, who lied to the people which got him my mom’s job,” Tommy shouted angrily. Leigh lunged forwards and pushed him again.

“Cut!” Chandler shouted. “That’ s great you two.”
Alex and Darren ignored him, their own personal fight coming out.
“Well at least I can act!” Alex shouted at Darren.
“What a laugh,” Darren shouted back. “If Chandler wasn’t your dad and he wasn’t still so in love with your mom then you wouldn’t have made it into the movie.”
“Hey!” Alex pushed Darren who pushed her back. “That’s not true. I got into the movie because I can act. You got in because it adds another ‘famous’ name to the credits.”
“That is so not true,” Darren laughed. “You see, I can act and you ... CAN’T!”
“Well at least I can make my own friends,” Alex laughed. “And I don’t abandon the one’s I already have.”
“Yeah, well at least after I make a best friend, I don’t go back to my other friends and leave him in the lurch.”
“I didn’t do that. You did!” Alex shouted. “You never want to spend anytime with me anymore. You spend all your time with Freddy and Corey, MY friends.”
“And you don’t think you do the same?” Darren laughed. “You spend all your time with Sam and Jane.”
Alex and Darren lunged for each other again.
“Guys, STOP IT!” Chandler shouted. The two ignored him, not even hearing him. When they continued to fight, becoming physical, Chandler and Andrew rushed onto the stage.
“Okay, break it up,” Andrew shouted, grabbing Darren by the shoulders. Chandler did the same to Alex and the dad’s pulled their kids away from each other.
“What is going on here?” Chandler asked them as they two dads sat turned them to face them. Alex and Darren turned their heads away so they didn’t have to face each other.
Monica and Alicia walked onto the stage and joined them. “Alex, Darren what’s wrong?” Monica questioned.
When neither of them replied, Alicia turned to Chandler and Andrew. “Why don’t Monica and I take them over to a trailer and discuss what just happened. Chandler, you need to finish your directing and Andrew, you might want to go talk to the reporters.”
“Sure,” Andrew agreed. Chandler nodded and the two dads handed the kids over to the two moms.

Entering a trailer, Alicia and Monica sat down Alex and Darren opposite them. “Okay what is going on between you two?” Alicia questioned. “You use to be such good friends!”
“Yeah, so,” Alex shrugged. “Ask him, it’s his fault.”
“Okay, stop there Alex,” Monica shook her head. “Before you start blaming people, why don’t you two explain what this is all about.”
“I don’t know why she’s mad at me,” Darren started. “But I know why I’m mad at her.”
“Okay, and why is that?” Alicia asked.
“Because she doesn’t like me anymore. She doesn’t like to hang out with me or anything. It seems like we were only good friends because on the cruise we didn’t know anyone else.”
“That’s not true. You’re the one who hates hanging out with me. When ever I want to get together you’re doing something with Freddy or Corey. And when we went to MagiK Mountain you spent all your time with them. And then you made me go on that ride and you didn’t even sit with me like you promised.”
“It’s not my fault that Katie made me sit with her!” Darren replied. “I would have sat with you but you seemed to be having more fun with Sam and Jane. I mean, you didn’t even sit with me in the cars and I don’t know everyone else very well except for Ben. And he was busy talking with Brook. I spent the whole ride talking with Chandler.”
“Well, it looks like we have a misunderstanding here,” Monica interrupted them. “You both seem to be mad at the other for the same thing. I don’t know who made the first mistake, but it doesn’t matter. It seems to me that you just had  a little misunderstanding. I think you two both need to apologize to each other and everything will be back to normal.”
“I’m sorry,” Alex turned to Darren.
“I’m sorry too,” Darren smiled sheepishly.
“That’s better,” Alicia sighed. “I was worried that something big had happened between you two.”
“Oh my gosh!” Monica screeched. “Look at the time. I’ve got to film my scene with Chandler.”
“Calm down Mon,” Alicia put a hand on her shoulder. “Why don’t we go over to the makeup trailer. Alex, Darren, we’ll see you over at stage two if you want to come watch.”
“Okay,” Darren nodded and Alicia and Monica quickly left the trailer. Alex and Darren sat their quietly for a little while. After a couple of moments, Alex jumped up and gave Darren a hug.
“I’m really sorry Darren,” Alex whispered.
“That’s okay Al. I’m sorry too,” Darren paused. “Why don’t we go get changed quickly and then watch your mom and dad tape their scene. I was peaking through the script at their part, and guess what!? They’ve got to kiss!”
“What! I don’t think my mom knows that!” Alex gasped. “This is going to be so much fun!”

“Theodore, Tana,” Chandler waved to them from a table in the back of the restaurant. He stood up and gave them a hug as they joined him, Monica and Alex. “Theodore, Tana, this is Monica and Alex.”
“Nice to meet you,” Monica stood up as well and gave them a hug. “I’ve heard lots about you. Where are the Joey’s? I thought they were coming with you.”
“Oh, they should be right behind us,” Tana turned around and they all could see the Joey’s stopped at another table. They were talking with some fan’s who were looking at Joelana.
“Alex,” Chandler turned back to his daughter. “This is Theodore and Tana, your grandparents. Well actually, Tana is your Step-Grandma.”
“Hello,” Alex said shyly.
“We’ve heard a lot about you,” Theodore told her brightly.
“And seen,” Tana added with a laugh. “You’re face has been all over the news lately.”
“Thanks,” Alex smiled slightly. She glanced up to see the Joey’s heading their way. “Joey! Joey! Joelana!”
“Hey Alex,” Joey picked her up in a hug. “Excited for Christmas?”
“Umm...” Alex shrugged. “I guess so. There’s going to be so many people.”
“But it’ll be fun!” Joey said excited. “Just think, this is Joelana’s first Christmas.”
“Yeah,” Alex smiled. “And Darren’s coming!”
“So everything’s okay between you two now?” GJoey asked. “We heard about the fight.”
“Yep, everything’s fine!” Alex took a crayon out of the box in front of her. She bent her head over her piece of paper, trying to hide her laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Joey asked.
“Just remembering that day.... and my mom and dad’s scene,” Alex giggled. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell her that they’d have to kiss!”
“Yeah, that was pretty funny,” Joey agreed. “The look on Mon’s face... priceless!”
“They both seemed to be really into it though,” GJoey added. “I think Chandler wanted to do that scene with Mon.”

“Mom!” Alex ran into the kitchen after filming one day. “Guess what?”
“What?” Mon replied tiredly. She had been sick the last few mornings and was worried she was getting sick, and for Christmas too.
“We’re going to serve food at one of the food shelters,” Alex grabbed an apple and sat down opposite her mom. “Well, Darren and I aren’t aloud to hand out food. We’re too young, so we’re just going to come and talk to the other kids.”
“Who’s we?” Monica asked. She put down what she was doing and moved over to the table and sunk into a chair. Why was she feeling so tired?
“Me, Darren, Daddy, Darren’s parents, Joey and Joey,” Alex looked at her fingers as she listed the names. They both glanced up as Chandler walked in and joined them.
“Don’t forget Mon,” Chandler reminded Alex. Turning to Monica he added, “That’s if you want to.”
“Of course,” Mon nodded. “I’d love too.” She leaned back against her chair, feeling a wave of nausea pass over.
“Are you still not feeling well?” Chandler questioned, moving over to stand behind her. He placed his hands on his shoulder and started to give her a massage. “You should go see a doctor you know.”
“Yeah,” Monica nodded, leaning back against him. “I think I’ll make an appointment later today.”
“Why don’t you go to bed mom?” Alex questioned. “You always say the best way to get better is to get lots of rest.”
“I know,” Mon smiled. “I’ve just been so busy cooking for Christmas. I think I’ll finish up in here then go to bed. What are you planning on doing for the rest of today, you’re both back early.”
“I’m getting together with Freddy, Sam and Darren,” Alex said happily. “We’re going to go sledding.”
“Joelana was crying all morning,” Chandler sat down next to Monica. “We called it quits because we weren’t getting anything done.”
“Oh,” Mon nodded. “Who’s going to drive you Alex?”
“They’re picking me up,” Alex replied. “I’ve got to get ready!”

Arriving home from the doctor, Monica thanked her lucky star that no one was home. What was she suppose to do know? How had it happened? She hadn’t been near... and then she remembered. The thanksgiving party. She had been really drunk, and so had Chandler. That had to be it.
Walking into her bedroom, Monica collapsed backwards onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. What would she do? How would she tell everyone?

“Hey Darren,” Alex ran over to him arriving on the set the last day of filming before Christmas. “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Darren sighed. “My mom dragged me shopping yesterday. I hate shopping, especially cos everyone recognizes me and then I get bombarded. But my mom things it’s good that I learn to shop by myself.”
“I know what you mean,” Alex nodded. “Except I don’t get recognized as easily so I’ve got an easier time. But anyway, are you ready? Did you bring it?”
Darren nodded and brought forward a plastic bag that he’d been hiding behind his back. “Yep, right here! It took me forever to find!”
“Great!” Alex smiled happily. “This is going to be sooo much fun! Come on, let’s go over to trailer C and plan. I don’t think anyone will be using it.”
“Okay,” Alex and Darren glanced around and when no one was looking ran off.

Entering the trailer, Alex and Darren sat down on a couch and Darren pulled out an album from his bag.
“I can’t believe these movies caused so much hype!” Darren commented as he opened the album which was full of newspaper clippings about Star Wars 1, The Phantom Menace.
“I know,” Alex nodded. “My dad has all these collector items. Okay, where’s the article?”
“Right here,” Darren flipped through the album stopping at one page. It was a newspaper clipping with a picture of Anakin in the middle.
Alex skimmed the article quickly. “Oh that’s perfect. They are so going to freak!”
“I know!” Darren nodded, reading the article with Alex. “So when do we do this?”
“How about after we shoot the scene at the school where we’re sitting on the wall. We can do it right there.”
“Perfect!”

“Ready?” Darren turned to Alex. They had just finished filming and were sitting on the wall. They could see their mom’s watching them. Monica and Alicia had decided to take them out to lunch.
Alex leaned over to Darren and pretended to get mad at him. He did the same and they started what looked like a pushing match. They counted to three under their breath and pushed together lightly, but leaning over the edge of the wall and falling off, where their mom’s couldn’t see them.
“Oh my gosh!” They could here Monica and Alicia shout, running over to the wall. Glancing up they saw their mom’s faces lean over, panicked.
Alex burst into laughter at the look on Monica’s face and standing up, she fell back down against Darren. He too, had fallen to hysterics. Alicia and Monica were just looking at them, shaking their heads.
Darren had remembered reading about the kid who played Anakin in the first Star Wars movie playing a practical joke on his mom. The kid, had been sitting on a wall or something like that and when his mom was watching fell backwards. He knew that there were matts below him and he fell on to them. Alex, hearing about this, thought it was the best way to freak out their parents.

“I wanted to do this last year,” Alex chattered, explaining to Joey and GJoey as they and Monica climbed into the cab headed for the soup kitchen, “But we couldn’t because of all the excitement.”
“What about this year’s excitement?” GJoey teased.
“I guess you could say we’re doing it this year because of all the excitement,” Alex giggled. “It’s kind of a change of pace.”
“Speaking of excitement,” GJoey said thoughtfully, “Mom and Dad are ecstatic about seeing their grandchildren for the first time. They were kind of disappointed that you were coming with us today, Alex.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of too bad. They’re really nice,” Alex said. “They’re nicer than my other grandma. She’s nice to me but not to Mommy.”
“How are they going to feed Joelana today?” Alex asked curiously.
“I left some bottles of breast milk,” GJoey answered. “She won’t starve.”
“Hey, Joey!” Monica laughed. “Remember when Ross thought Carol’s breast milk was gross?”
“Yeah! I wonder what Ben would think of that: his trusted father wouldn’t feed him because he thought breast milk was scary!”
“I wonder why Chandler didn’t come with us,” Monica said.
“He likes to make an entrance,” Joey replied.
“Even though he won’t admit it,” GJoey added.

Chandler was only ten minutes late, but his entrance was certainly interesting, as the Joeys predicted. he arrived dressed a a very large Santa Claus, hauling a very large sack of what appeared to be full of toy trucks, trains and dolls. "Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas everyone!"
"What did you do?" Monica asked. "Buy out Toys R Us?"
"Mon, where have you been the last hundred years? Of course not! I just came from the elves' toy shop!" Chandler looked at her with a twinkle in his eye.
"How's Mrs. Claus?" Monica teased.
"I'm not sure." Chandler handed her a red velver dress and apron all padded up. "Why not ask her?"
Monica smiled and slipped into the bathroom to change. Alicia was the only other one in there, washing her hands and face.
"Hi, Monica. What is that you've got there?"
"Oh! You missed Chandler's entrance, I guess. He's dressed as Santa Claus. And he expects me to be-"
"-Mrs. Claus," Alicia finished. "Right. I see you have the whole get-up there."
"Yeah." Monica entered a stall and began to change. "Alicia?"
"What is it?"
"While we're alone, I have to tell you something. I just can't keep it in any longer."

"What's in the bag, Dad? Oh! Baghdad! Baghdad! Ohh, that's silly."
"Why, some gifts from the North Pole toy shop, little girl! And I'm not your dad! I'm Santa Claus! And I'm sorry, but Bagsanta just isn't very funny."
Alex threw her arms around the red-clad man. "Well thanks, Santa. Last year you brought me what I really wanted. A dad! I had been waiting years for that!"
Chandler smiled. "Well, you know, I don't keep many of those in stock. Most kids don't need a spare, Alex."
"Hey! If you're not my dad, how do you know my name?"
"Santa knows everything, Alex. And you know what?"
"What?" Alex giggled.
"This Santa happens to know that you and your friend Darren over there have nothing to do tonight. And I noticed that you two are just the right size to be elves."
"Elves!" Alex exclaimed.
"Yes, elves. So, Alex, tonight you and Darren will be my elves, and pass out these gifts to all the children you see here."
"Oh, that will be fun, Daddy! Darren, come here!"

"Well I’ll try to lend an ear," Alicia said, refastening an earring. "Talk away!"
"Alicia, I'm-I'm going to have a baby. I'm pregnant."
"Oh my God!" Alicia's earring clattered to the floor. She dropped to her knees and glanced around for it. "That's wonderful. Oh-have you told Chandler?"
"No, in fact, I was going to ask you-"
"I guess he'll be kind of surprised that you're seeing someone else. He loves you and Alex."
"Seeing some-"
"Where is that blasted earring? Oh, Mon, how will you tell Alex? She'll be so heartbroken!"
Mon stepped out of the stall to see Alicia sprawled on the floor, her head hidden under the sink. "Alicia, no. I haven't been seeing anyone. The baby is Chandler's."
"Ah! There it is." Alicia sat up banging her head on the sink. "Oh, oh, ow, ow! What did you say?"
"I said the baby is Chandler's. Are you okay?" Monica offered her hand to Alicia.
Alicia ignored the hand and hopped to her feet. "Monica, I'm fine! Don't strain yourself and the baby for me! So it's Chandler's? How did that happen?"
"Thanksgiving. your party. oh, we were so drunk!" Monica rubbed her temples in remembrance. "I get a headache just thinking about it! Neither of us remembered after. I didn't remember until after the pregnancy test. Then it all came flooding back to me..."
"But I thought-"
"I know..."
The two stared at each other for a moment. Then Alicia smiled playfully.
"So I guess in a few months you won't need all that extra padding, will you, Mrs. Claus?"

"So you still haven't told him?" Alicia grabbed a drink from Lionel, who was holding a tray nearby. Lionel raised his eyebrows in interest.
"No," Monica replied.
Alicia and Monica began to walk away, weaving in and out of the crowd, talking amongst themselves. Lionel inconspicuously followed the two women. he tiptoed after them and strained to hear.
"Women talk," he murmured impatiently,"but they talk inaudibly!"
"...don't know...Chandler will react!"
"...baby..."
The snippets Lionel caught in the air intrigued him. New Year's Eve was a bore for a butler, and he wouldn't mind a bit of action. he turned on his heels primly. "Oh, Mr. Bing! May I have a word with you?"

"Mon? Mon? Oh, here you are!" Chandler appeared beside Alicia.
Alicia winked at Monica. "I, er, gotta go...do a thing...bye!" Alicia disappeared.
"Monica, are you all right? Lionel told me you had something urgent to tell me."
Monica glanced at the butler, standing not six feet away. Lionel grinned innocently at her as he handed a drink to one of Chandler's guests.
"Yeah, I do actually. Come with me."
Monica stepped out on a balcony, Chandler following curiously. She closed the doors behind her, then twisted the handles. She stuck her tongue out at Lionel through the glass. "Thanks for putting locks on the outside of these doors, Chandler."
"You're welcome...but why? Is this something no one else should hear?"
"Yeah. Chandler...y'know Alex?"
"Pretty well, yeah. Why? Is something wrong with her? She still too spoiled? She needs another body guard? Et cetera, et cetera?"
"No. But remember when she was born?"
"Kind of...but I wasn't there of course."
"But what was she when she was born?" Monica pressed.
"Um...a baby?" Chandler guessed.
"Right!" Monica exclaimed. "Oh, you're so good at this game!"
"Okay, now what?"
"Um...use the word baby in a sentence."
"Okay...'What a cute baby!'"
"No no no!" Monica shouted. "I mean, try again."
"Okay. 'I'm going to have a baby.'"
"Oh my God! You are? I'm so happy for you!"
Chandler gave her a funny look and backed away. "No! I'm not going to have a baby! I'm a guy!"
"Well who is? C'mon Chandler!"
"Well...you're a girl I suppose. 'You're going to have a baby.'"
"Right! Oh! Give the man a prize! I'm going to have a baby!"
"You...you..." Chandler dropped onto a nearby bench. "But I thought-"
"I know, Chandler. I thought too. And I still think so. I have to say, actually, that you were correct in the fact that you're going to have a baby. Chandler! We're going to have a baby!" Monica hopped into Chandler's lap.
"What...what do you mean? How can that be? We're not married, we haven't been dating...how did-what?"
"Thanksgiving, Chandler. Honey, don't you remember? We were drunk after Alicia and Andrew's party. I didn't remember either, until after I had a pregnancy test. But it's for sure. I haven't been dating, Chandler. We're going to have a baby. And I think we should get married."
Chandler stood abruptly and angrily, knocking Monica off balance.
"Whatever, Monica. That's too easy. Just to say, 'Oh, Chandler, we're having a baby, let's get married.' You didn't take me when you had the chance, and now you're seeing someone else when I thought we had that closeness again. And you're pregnant! It's hard to believe Monica, that you would do this to me, after I offered you and Alex my home, everything I have. You and Alex are practically all I have to live for and this is how you treat me? I just don't know what to say."
Chandler stalked through the balcony doors and through his New Year's Eve bash.
Monica fell against the bench in tears. "Well you had plenty to say two minutes ago."
 

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