Episode 9…THE ROCK- Far off in a wintry country, the Enforcers assure Jackie that he won't get away with this. What they basically mean is not getting away with the Horse Talisman AND the tie-up Jackie has given the bumbling trio. Suddenly, Tohru (who must've wasted critical time trying to find appropriate snow-attire) arrives on the spot to get Jackie once and for all. Jackie leaps off the window and grabs some skies outside to get out. Tohru jumps onto a snowmobile while Ratso and Chow get skies of their own. Finn, without any means of chase, grabs the broken door and does his best impression of Shaun Palmer.

 

Jackie Chan [Handicap] vs. The Enforcers (*****)- The rating isn't for the action, which isn't that prominent here. But the little situation caused between Finn and Tohru is priceless comic timing. That moment right down to Jackie's one-liner is worth *****.

 

The Enforcers all sneeze, cough and wheeze back at the hideout. Tohru must've been wise not to buy any attire; his running buddies haven't fared any better. All the sick beg Valmont to turn up the heat, but instead, Shendu scorches their hair, forcing them to thank the wall ornament for the pleasantry. Ratso then says it's just unfortunate Jackie's not one of them; otherwise they would've had the talismans and be granted the treasure of Qi Han Shing by now. Valmont suddenly perks up with an idea, an awful, awful, awful idea. (Awful to Jackie. Remember that...)

At Section 13, Captain Angus Black introduces Jackie and Jade to the vault securing the talismans. The vault is protected with passwords and laser traps no person could possibly evade. Jackie, however, doesn't have the Horse Talisman with him, as Uncle is still studying its magical properties. Black once again thinks the Chans are insane in the membrane.

 

The Chans have problems with figuring out the power of the Horse Talisman itself, because the ancient text has an enigmatic explanation, something about the talisman removing alien forces within. As Jackie scratches his head, Black calls, saying that Section 13 has identified a talisman at Mount Rushmore.

 

Climbing over to the giant stone faces, Jackie gets ready to remove the talisman with his expertise and calm. But the talisman he finds bears a snake symbol. Section 13 already has the Snake Talisman! Suddenly, the fake talisman opens up and stabs a dart onto Jackie's hand. Jackie yelps and scurries back up to the top, where he meets Valmont for the first time. Valmont threatens to Jackie that the archaeologist has been affected by a potion that'll turn him into stone, and through a fly, proves his threat's no fluke. He then tells Jackie to get all the talismans or else there will be no antidote. Jackie still doesn't believe him, this time letting his fists do the talking.

 

Jackie Chan vs. Valmont (***3/4)- WHAT?! This is our first chance to see Valmont knuckle up against Jackie and it lasts only 2 minutes! Heavy Argh factor is here. We all would've wanted to see Valmont fight more. Why does the guy have a cane, anyway? Oh yeah, to poke around on Jackie when he has the chance.

 

Jackie nearly gets the upper hand when his finger turns into stone. In shock and pain, Jackie has no choice but to leave Valmont and head back to Uncle's Rare Finds for help. I'm not going to spoil anything here, but what Uncle tries to offer Jackie will have you laughing even after the show's over.

 

Jade doesn't think Jackie is doing himself any favors, so she goes off to Section 13 and evades the security like Ethan Hunt in "Mission Impossible". She also figures Black has a fandom for James Bond, and Section 13's not rich enough to put emergency sensors EVERYWHERE. Jade successfully nabs all the talismans.

Back at the shop, Uncle....Oh, I'm NOT going to say this...I want you to burst your mouth in full-blown laughter at this one.

 

Jackie soon gets the news from Black; Jade can be a Section 13 spy....that, and she's got all the talismans to give to the Enforcers at the rendezvous point.

 

Jade arrives at the building (looks like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, if you ask me) and offers the talismans in exchange for the antidote. Jackie arrives at the scene, but it's too late. The bag of talismans is under Tohru's reach. Tohru counts the talismans, and notices one missing talisman. Jade suddenly realizes that she's forgotten the Horse Talisman. She pleads to Tohru that she'll come back with the other talisman, but Tohru coldly drops the vial in reply. The curse gets worse for Jackie, as his leg and the rest of his body slowly become solid stone. The Enforcers rush in for more fun with Jackie.

 

Jackie, Jade, Uncle vs. The Enforcers (****1/2)- Hooray, Uncle comes by to save the...Wait a minute, he's brought the Horse Talisman so he can trade in the antidote in the process. Next time, Jackie, Uncle goes on the same plane with you! Anyhoo, the brawl goes crazy with martial arts added in with slapstick action that has Tohru rolling like a bowling ball, literally...Uncle shows, too, that what doesn't work for one occasion can work in another. Again, I'm not going to say what they are.

 

All seems lost as Jackie becomes a solid statue. But Tohru returns, and suddenly feels refreshed not long after having touched the Horse Talisman. Jade realizes it's a healing talisman, and with the talisman in Jackie's reach, Jade activates it and brings a fleshed-out Jackie back to give Tohru another trip to the hospital. So much for Tohru being healed there...

 

Jackie is grateful of the help Jade and Uncle have given him. He also tells Jade that her decision to take the talismans is forgivable, for it's been all about getting stuck between a rock and a hard place. Boy, Jackie is quite the punster here.

 

A++

 

NUMERO UNO! Don't be fooled by its simple title, but "The Rock" stands quite firm as the funniest and most exciting JCA episode in Season 1. Its quirky humor, the personas of the characters, the action scenes and the voice acting are all well-figured into each other like puzzle pieces. If you've wanted to see one episode in Season 1 and only one, make it "The Rock". Its wit will have you giddily toppling most of the way.

 

Special Note; Extremo Luchadore has watched the Spanish dub of this episode as well. All the characters save one have perfect Spanish counterparts. Who's the unlucky one? Finn, who sounds here like a total wimp with an addiction to helium gas. The dubber has none of Adam Baldwin's suave and cool sounds that have made Finn such a class act, for a doofus...

 

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Episode 10…JADE MONKEY- It’s another ho-hum school day for the Jadester. Another day of listening to the dullard Ms. Hartman, getting teased on by know-it-all Drew and spending 6 hours waiting for the homework assignments. Or is it? Suddenly a classroom wall collapses and The Enforcers arrive, carrying a tied-up Uncle and Jackie! (If Tohru can walk through walls, then why in the world can he never do this to the blimmin’ antiques shop?) The Enforcers swear to Jade to give up her talismans or else Jackie and Uncle are going to go the way of the thylacine. Jade’s glad to make a reply; beats listening to Hartman’s monotone instructions!

 

 

Jade [Handicap] vs. The Enforcers (NR)- Jade provides a serving of boot to all The Enforcers and they’re all done for. Jade is celebrated by the students and Ms. Hartman, who declares no homework for the rest of the year. Good going, Jade. Now release your family so they can celebrate with you too.

 

Er....maybe not. Jade’s woken out of a daydream and Hartman asks her about the capital of Italy. Jade replies with “Pizza.” There’s one good reason why Jade should have adventures with Jackie; at least her geography will be improved.

 

Ms. Hartman has told all the students that there will be Career Day today. This means the kids will bring their parents/guardians so that the grown-ups can let their jobs be known to the rest of the class.

 

Jade sees this as a terrific opportunity to show her class that martial arts aren’t all a big whup. She wants her Uncle Jackie to let it be known of his glorious conquests against the Dark Hand and the many magical talismans that have been procured in his and her many adventures!

 

Sadly, Drew’s firefighting father turns out to be the most appealing grown-up of the day, while Jackie fails to capture the attention of even the school walls. Jackie comes up with this story, overlong by about 99%, about how he cleans archaeological finds with little brushes. Jade desperately tries getting some blood-pumping credibility out of her uncle and throws an object to observe Jackie’s athleticism, managing to hit her uncle in the process. Jade’s forgotten that this is supposed to be Career Day, not Show and Tell.

 

With Career Day ended, Ms. Hartman tells her students that for homework, all students will have to experience the elders’ occupations first-hand, which means they’ll need to be with their elders. Jade perks up, because it gives her a most excellent excuse; an excuse to go with her Uncle Jackie to search for the next talisman. Jackie has little choice but to buy the idea.

 

With a boat set on the Pacific region of Micronesia, Jackie and Jade put on scuba gear and dive underwater in pursuit of the talisman beneath the seas. Looking almost like human frogs, uncle and niece try getting a good view of the sunken depths to see any talisman around. Jade’s got a water-proof camera prepared so that she could bring back great images to her class and show boredom ain’t synonymous with the Chan Man, and vice versa. Jade fetches a shiny talisman bearing the insignia of a Monkey, which is not what Jade would like to be in this watery realm. Just as Jackie comes back and sees his niece proudly uncovering the big treasure, Chow, Ratso and Finn arrive with talisman in mind. Jackie quickly tells Jade to go with the talisman.

 

Jackie Chan [Handicap] vs. The Enforcers (**)- Not one of their classic matches indeed. I’ve seen this kind of action scene before in “Jackie Chan’s First Strike”, and underwater is definitely not the best place to make a good fight. At least Jackie does some good logistics by pulling off his enemies’ breathing tubes, and Jade pushes Finn into a batch of sea urchins (yes, this is definitely “First Strike” material) Say, where’s the fish-hating Tohru in this fight? Oh right. With that girth, Tohru’s gonna swim like stone.

 

As Jade comes up to the surface and looks over the dinghy, out emerges the unbreakable Tohru, who knows she has the talisman. It doesn’t take long, though, for Jackie AND the Enforcers to take the fighting out to the surface.

 

Jackie & Jade [Handicap] vs. The Enforcers (**3/4)- A tad better than the previous fight, and that’s not saying much. They occasionally do nice fistwork on the boat, but the only scene that really matters here is when Jade, holding the Monkey Talisman, feels like she’s going yak, and incidentally turns Jackie into a yak! She tells the talisman to change Jack back, and it does. Just on schedule, a giant storm sweeps the boat upside down and everyone takes the briny drink!

 

Moments later, Jade is perfectly okay, a little stranded on some nearby island, but otherwise not a dent to her comfort. She still carries around her camera and the Monkey Talisman is luckily close by.

 

Not too far off either, Chow, Ratso and Finn are safely on the island, and it just so happens that they’re all piled on Tohru! Looks like the sumo’s not really the stone-swimmer we’ve come to believe!

 

Jade knows that staying on the edge of an island is the best way to get help, but with The Enforcers having regained their wind, help’s not bound to find her so easily. Jade quickly runs off into a forest where monkeys have made it their metropolis.

 

Jackie Chan finally comes to after getting another weird dream starring Uncle’s head. I don’t know what Jackie’s been eating, but I don’t want some! Uncle’s head tells Jackie to get his butt up and save Jade from monkey-ing around for the rest of her life. He seals a departure with the two-fingered salute, and Jackie wakes up.

 

Assuming the talisman transforms objects into others, Jade grabs a log and prepares to transform it into a death ray, only that it becomes a stingray! Jade changes it back and comes to the conclusion that the talisman only does animal transformations. A second light bulb arrives. Jade decides to do some monkey business with The Enforcers! During the chase, she manages to zap Ratso into a little red-eyed rat who has to be carried in Finn’s pocket (aww factor...) Jade even tries turning one of them into a giraffe, but misses the mark and turns a vine-swinging ape into a long-necked mammal!

 

The young Chan figures turning the jungle into a zoo isn’t going to be the best strategy to escape The Enforcers. So she points the talisman at herself and turns into a monkey. The Jade Monkey, as is the title of this episode, may be furry and wearing a tail, but she retains her golden eyes, the blade-like bangs for hair and her vibrant personality. Jade swings to the trees and avoids The Enforcers’ vision, but just then, another monkey snatches the Monkey Talisman off her fingers and hops to it. The Enforcers see the monkey with the talisman and run off to follow it. At once, Jade sees a crazy wild boar chasing after her. Jade runs and then finds sanctuary in a tree, but now she is further from finding the talisman.

 

Jackie is shocked to see a giraffe in the forests; does this mean he’s drifted to the other side of the hemisphere?! Shrugging off that wonderment, Jackie finds Jade’s camera (but apparently never keeps it, because the camera begins to stop showing up), and sees Jade’s tracks and then the Enforcers’, namely those of the giant sumo Tohru. He is then approached by a madly hopping monkey who wants to let him in on something. This monkey is Jade, but since she’s a monkey she can’t speak English, she can only speak Apelish. Jade notices this flaw, so she pulls up several ideas. She first begins moving a stick around like she’s sweeping a floor, to indicate a name rhyming with “maid”. Jackie thinks that’s real nice of her, but even if he’d want a cleaning service, he could do it by himself. Jade then tries explaining that she’s Jade through a more definite visual aid. She points at Jade’s groovy label on the camera, and then she marks an arrow and jumps in front of it. Jackie is so thankful for the help and he runs into the direction of the arrow to find Jade. The Jade Monkey slaps herself one. In seconds, Jade is grabbed by a motherly monkey who takes the jaded ape deep into the jungle. How much more trouble can this get?!

 

The Jade Monkey finds herself living among a band of many monkeys in the forest. The motherly monkey kindly removes parasites off Jade’s back by eating them! Total Icksville! As much as Jade loves the cleaning service, she’s got to go. But the overwhelming band of monkeys take her leave as a mutiny and refuses a way out. And you think this kind of thing only happens in “Animal Farm”.

 

Behind groups of bamboo, Jackie sees The Enforcers getting to the thieving little monkey carrying the talisman. Jackie leaps into the fray.

 

Jackie Chan [Handicap] vs. The Enforcers (**3/4)- Jackie knuckles up first with Finn, who actually fights here like a prize fighter. (Goes to show you that not all Irish folks are drunk.) Finn’s efforts are quickly subdued as his fists get caught up in vine. Jackie does a quick kick to Finn, sending the poor rat Ratso out the pocket and into the dirt! Discovering the mind behind the rat, Jackie threatens to make Ratso get it unless Finn spits out an explanation. With a surprising degree of compassion to his friend (since when do these guys NOT let each other get hurt?), Finn tells the Chan Man that he’s been following Jade when out of the blue, the plans take a new direction as the monkey shows up with the talisman. That’s when Jackie believes Jade’s become a monkey! He runs off to pursue Chow and Tohru.

 

Luckily, the two Asian baddies aren’t earning extra points for their efforts. With the monkey taking to a fruit tree, Chow reaches for the monkey but his arms’ length betrays him. The monkey starts lobbing fruit by the hundreds and Chow is sent off. An irate Tohru tries shaking up the tree, and still the monkey refuses to be budged out. Jackie, ever the Tarzan that he is, bolts off one tree to another to catch the monkey, whom Jackie can’t believe is refusing to understand that it’s Uncle Jackie come to help!

 

Yes. Finally, we see Jade taking a ba- Oh wait a minute, she’s still a monkey. Back to your seats, boys. Anyways, Jade Monkey is being dunked into the water by the motherly monkey, who wholeheartedly doesn’t understand that modern human nature tends to see this kind of bathing as a bad parenting skill. The pool is also being shared by countless other monkeys, but since all of them are neatly-furred, the monkeys have found some other place for their outhouse, apparently.... Jade knows there are reasons enough to go bye-bye. She takes a dive into the pool and makes her escape from afar. The motherly monkey screeches as if she’s just killed a baby. Maybe monkeys do have codes against bad parenting after all.

 

Jackie grabs the monkey and normally would like to reprimand “her” for giving him an unnecessary workout, but priorities first. He takes the talisman and demands it to change the monkey back. Nothing happens. Being the courageous master of backstabbing, Tohru does a bear hug to Jackie from behind as Finn claims the talisman. Finn uses the talisman on Ratso, and indeed, the bandaged-nose Enforcer is human again, not to mention a most annoying burden on Finn’s back...literally.

 

Jackie Chan & Jade [Handicap, again...] vs. The Enforcers (***)- Okay finale, more comedy than heart-pounding fighting, but the comedy is often quite good. Jackie gets tied to a stone along with the monkey. The Enforcers actually plot to turn Chan into a chicken, since they’ve all got empty stomachs and are miles from the nearest bistro! Jackie cries out that they’ll be deemed cannibals. But Jade won’t let her uncle end up being anyone’s main course. The Jade Monkey swings onto a vine and snatches the talisman, changing herself back into human Jade. Jackie sees her and then wonders who’s the monkey tied next to him. The monkey burps as if agreeing what the hell he’s doing tied up. The Enforcers rush in to get her, and mucho insanity rules the match.

 

For the next few minutes, everyone tries using the talisman. Being so limited in their knowledge of zoology, nobody ever tries to win the match by using the talisman and shouting “sponge!” at all available enemies. Jade turns Tohru into an elephant and then Ratso into a rat. The rat naturally scares the elephant, who flees on the tallest rock possible. Angry that he hasn’t gotten to change anyone yet, Chow grabs the talisman and changes his buds back, but as he fires the talisman at Jade, she avoids and Tohru becomes a flamingo. Jade reclaims the talisman and accidentally gets Jackie to turn into a kangaroo. For gosh sakes, no wonder these guys only fight with fists and feet. Should a gun ever come into play, I don’t think anyone will be left alive!

 

A really weird scene’s up next. Jackie the kangaroo nails nasty punches that put The Enforcers in a K.O. From behind a bush, the Tohringo plucks the talisman off Jade’s hand, becomes the big lug once more, and turns the girl into a rabbit (so now, Tohru wants rabbit stew, huh? Big surprise there...). The kangaroo does a double-foot drop kick into Tohru, claiming both the talisman and the rabbit into his pocket. (Which is very peculiar since pouch-wearing kangaroos are supposed to be female. Hey, everyone, Jackie’s got a sex change operation here!)

 

With the Dark Hand chasing and hollering once again like cavemen, the Chanimals make like madbeasts into the deep of the forest.

 

The Jackaroo and Jade Hare (they’re starting to sound like comic book heroes now) hop away until they reach the edge of a cliff. Jade Hare manages to take the talisman into her paw and changes herself and Jackaroo to their proper forms.

 

Jade prepares one final resort, a little something she’s picked up during her vine-swinging tenure. She starts a monkey call across the jungle, and trees everywhere start shaking (no, this is not a call for monkeys to fornicate). Just as The Enforcers have got their hands all warmed up to layeth the smackdown, the whole band of monkeys (and a giraffe) leap into action with mouths, hands and feet whacking across every inch of Tohru and his hapless trio of buddies. The Enforcers speed away to the opposite direction as the mama monkey and the giraffe (who doesn’t realize Jade’s folly against him) celebrate with the Chans. Happy to recognize Jade, the relieved mama monkey finds time to check the girl for any parasites...None there, so it seems.

 

The show concludes with Jade telling her classroom about the stuff happening to her yesterday. Once again, Jade has the problem of not getting anything to show her class; the camera is nowhere in her hands.

 

This may be late in the show, but do pick an answer for the Extremo Quiz. The idea is to figure out the best possible answer for the following question, one that’s left me (and many of you amigos around the world) confused as to how something could’ve happened. Don’t worry; no one answer is definite.

 

Question: Jade had a camera to take pictures of her trip, but after the trip was over, the camera became a no-show. Jackie Chan was the last person to hold that camera, so whatever happened to the darned camera?

 

1.) The spin kick Jackie used to send Rat Ratso out of Finn’s pocket also sent Jade’s camera off Jackie’s pocket. So much for showing off your Kung Fu, Chan. Keep it up and we’ll start calling you Kung Fool.

 

2.) The camera wasn’t waterproof enough. The distributor lied about the camera’s capabilities and so ripped off Jade of her money and her efforts.

 

3.) A disgruntled worker of the show stole the camera and forced screenwriters to change the show. We suspect the following suspects for doing this; Captain Black, Valmont and Shendu. No air time makes them really dull boys.

 

4.) Jade did get back the camera, but she got so excited about proving her adventures to the class that she left it at an airport and it was never seen again. A boring reason, but a reason nonetheless.

 

5.) Coffee destroyed the camera. Yes, coffee. From now on, screenwriters should stop taking too much caffeine or else they’ll lose their concentration.

 

Drew, hapless because he’s only a sideline in this show anyways, says Jade’s story is all a pack of lies. The students and Ms. Hartman don’t buy her story either. Moping and turning all robotic, Jade gives up and then tells the story about archaeological digs and brushes. Man, sometimes the worst parasites aren’t the ones sticking to your hair....

 

B+

 

Good JCA show. Great to see a bunch of animals make key roles in the episode, and I would really like to see another episode about the Monkey Talisman. Thumbs up, so go watch this. Or in other terms, monkey read, monkey see!

 

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Episode 11…THE DOG AND PIGGY SHOW- Jackie Chan is in a Bavarian windmill, having just chiseled the Dog Talisman off of a wall. (How the talisman has gotten there is a very good mystery in itself.) Chan hopes to walk the dog out of Bavaria and into Section 13. Out arrives Tohru, the evil Sumo Enforcer. Jackie tries to convince Tohru that there's no talisman, but Tohru holds up the Dragon Seeking Device and knows the archaeologist is bluffing.

 

Jackie Chan vs. Tohru (**)- You could only expect so much from the Big T in a cramped windmill from two stories above. Tohru tries to prevent Jackie from departing the windmill, and ironically speeds up the process for Chan. Oh yeah, and Tohru also falls off and cracks the Seeking Device with his nightmarish bottom. Merrily off, Jackie leaves with talisman in hand, though I bet Tohru would've gone Don Quixote on the windmill by that time.

 

Jackie's waiting for the plane to San Francisco when "Fearless Hyena" makes a call (Trivia: "Fearless Hyena" is the name of, you guess it, a Jackie Chan movie). Actually, the caller is Jade, but she wants to remind Jackie that it's Uncle's birthday, without letting Uncle know the celebration will occur. Because of Jade's prodding and the limited time he has, Jackie hurriedly buys a basket o' Bavarian goodies for Uncle to enjoy.

 

Back at the shop, Jade is doing some hip-hopping that rings too loudly on Uncle's ears. Cranky that he is, Uncle scares Jade with his yelling, saying his hip's too stiff to hop. Jade's not quite convinced, until poor Uncle drops a vase he is attempting to carry off a shelf. It becomes clear that Uncle's age has gotten the best of him.

 

Things don't fare much better when the birthday party is started. Jackie's gifts aren't taken very lightly by Uncle, since they consist of cheese, chocolate and other food stuffs that are murder to his stomach. Jade's gift happens to be a photo of the Shendu-ed Jade from Episode 6, though Uncle says he would treasure it. However, once he is given the Dog Talisman, Uncle wishes to be alone and do research on the talisman. Jackie and Jade are sorely disappointed at the abrupt end to the celebration.

 

Two others are sorely disappointed a few miles away. Valmont can't believe not just is the Dog Talisman in Chan's reach, but that the Seeking Device has been destroyed by Tohru. (Probably noticing the device as too much of a cheat, the creators of the show have found it necessary not to grant villains such complex weapons anymore. Sucks to them.) Shendu also makes it clear that even his magical prowess can not duplicate the device.

 

Valmont wises up and is convinced that a new hand should be at hand for the Dark Hand. Tohru shakes off in disapproval, but the chosen newbie has made his way into the door. This man is named Hak Foo, the "Black Tiger" in Chinese, though with his wide eyes and flaming red hair, Hak's nationality is certainly questionable. What isn't questionable, on the other hand, is Hak Foo's tendency to yell phrases of animals in motion whenever he himself does a maneuver, probably indicating him as something of a Zen Buddhist. (His favorite phrase is ALWAYS "Angry Crow takes flight!") Hak intimidates Tohru with some of his moves. Tohru backs off of Hak Foo, maybe because he can't tell if Hak's martial arts have come out of years in a dojo (martial arts school) or years in an asylum.

Back at the shop, a lonely Uncle has learned this Dog Talisman grants anyone who holds it immortality, the ability to be ageless. Uncle begins to grow speculation over using the talisman.

 

The next day, Jackie and Jade are in Section 13, pondering over Uncle and having some time with the Bavarian snacks. Jade thinks Jackie may end up as stinky and grouchy as Uncle, and Jackie tells her to respect her elders, and that means him and Uncle. Jade suddenly yells in surprise when she holds up a chocolate in the shape of the Pig Talisman. Jackie is convinced that that talisman could be lying in Bavaria, so it's off to that weird little country again. Uncle abruptly arrives all perky and feel of life, saying he could take a vacation to Bavaria. As he passes by the shop, Uncle almost knocks off an artifact, and with seemingly youthful vigor, manages to leap and save the artifact before gravity kills it. Uncle nearly reveals a necklace with the Dog Talisman kept in it, so he tucks it back beneath his collar and says to a shocked Jackie and Jade that he's ready to go.

 

At Bavaria, Jackie's not amused to be back here again, but Uncle and Jade mind the sights not one bit. Uncle even shows off a sense of humor that makes Jade laugh along with him! Jackie is at once confused and jealous. I don't recall Jackie's ever made Jade laugh that often.

 

It comes to no surprise that Hak Foo would arrive, with Tohru playing passenger this time around. Their rapport is clearly nil, since Hak considers Tohru nothing less than a reckless wrecking machine. Tohru still does provide a hint of help to Hak; he figures with all the pig symbols diffused around the Bavarian town, the talisman in hiding bears that of the aforementioned animal.

 

Jackie goes over to the current owner of the Ferkel's Chocolates Factory, hoping to learn how in the world Mr. Ferkel would've had a pig talisman to symbolize every piece of chocolate. Ferkel's grandson (who is voiced by Jim "Hak Foo" (!) Cummings) doesn't know the answer to Jackie's question, nor is he aware of any talisman to begin with.

 

Jade and Uncle are still enjoying the Bavarian villa, and soon they come across a nice cartload of cheese. As Uncle is about to indulge in the cheese, Jade suddenly begins to suspect Uncle's groove is definitely a turn for the unusual, albeit cool. Uncle submits to Jade's suspicions and shows the Dog Talisman around his neck, though Jade has no problemo; she thinks it feels just right for him.

 

Soon, the local clock tower rings, and Jade and Uncle can see from the top of the tower what appears to be a cymbals-playing pig puppet, the talisman latched onto its head!

 

At late night, apparently not enjoying any of the cheese or the music, thus being unable to meet Jade and Uncle, Jackie Chan heads over to the factory just as Ferkel's grandson departs and closes it. Jackie searches all over for the building. Perhaps one of the candy molds could be the talisman. However, Jackie only confronts a man very unknown to him, a man who makes his debut threat to Chan by throwing a mean chocolate piece that breaks through metal! Hak Foo then rushes in with fists and feet (and mouth) ready for action.

 

Jackie Chan vs. Hak Foo (***)- Good for what it is, which is a very brief martial arts confrontation that has Jackie flattened onto a wall. Hak Foo's debut, as it would be for most fighters, is a squash-type battle.

 

Hak Foo attempts to crush the neck of Chan, until Uncle arrives with Jade in tow. Jade's not confident that Uncle should fight Hak Foo, but the elder Chan insists.

 

Uncle vs. Hak Foo (***1/2)- Here's one of the better JCA fight scenes, under two minutes, that is! Uncle does some very self-conscious evasions and takes time to do his classic two-fingered salute to Hak's noggin. Unfortunately, Hak deceives Uncle by deliberately misstating the name of the move he is about to unleash.

 

Uncle is buried under a pile of bricks, and Hak Foo warns Jackie not to mess against his matters ever, EVVVVEEERRR, A-Gain! Hak Foo leaves the panicked Jackie and Jade to remove the rubble off Uncle and to beg him to get up.

 

Meanwhile, Uncle's lying in Dream Street again, with Astral Uncle actually arriving for a pep talk with his counterpart. The Astral Uncle, more cranky than the living Uncle, reasons that Uncle must get up because he still has the Dog Talisman and he can not die, and that the Dark Hand mustn't get to the other talismans. Astral Uncle awakens Uncle with a whap, and Uncle rises back up, much to Jackie and Jade's delight. Uncle rises up optimistically and ad-libs that garlic does good for the body. I bet Jackie would've wanted to reconsider his diet that time.

 

Jade and Uncle lead the clueless Jackie to the actual whereabouts of the talisman, inside the local clock tower. But not long after, Tohru arrives and captures Jackie. It is then revealed to the Chans that Hak Foo is working alongside the Dark Hand's strongest Enforcer. Uncle looks at Hak Foo and is not impressed a mite. Hak Foo, on the other hand, is white as a beluga when he sees Uncle without a cast or a casket! Tohru doesn't understand why Hak is fearful, until Uncle personally shows him the reason.

 

Jackie Chan & Uncle w/Jade vs. Hak Foo & Tohru [Handicap Match, Dog Talisman/Pig Talisman On the Line] (****1/2)- WHAT A BATTLE! This is what the best of escapist Jackie Chan movies usually offers at 10 minutes, but the show gives us the mercy of clocking this scene in less than 4. Never mind the time frame, you've got lots of innovative action here with Jackie and Uncle teaming up against Hak Foo. Tohru, on the other hand, proves he's not an impressive fighter, as he just chases after the lithe Jade across the gears in the tower. Hak Foo defies gravity with a totally improbable 50-foot leap, or something like that! (Appropriate phrase; Monkeys behind the scenes lose their minds!) Hak Foo tries to use the Pig Talisman to roast the Chans, but midnight strikes, and next thing we know, the clock strikes him! From there, the Chans show off a breathless slide down the falling clock tower. What a great finish, though everyone in Bavaria's probably going to hear someone spouting bad words from above (Give you a hint; It's NOT a god).

 

Relieved that the chaos is over, Uncle decides maybe he should go get the Pig Talisman. (Though he's not quite clear how...For all we know, the talisman could've been buried under the clock.) However, Jackie finally recognizes that Uncle has some explaining to do. Uncle gives Jackie the Dog Talisman and thanks him for not being strict over his resurrected youth. Nevertheless, he ultimately concedes that being young has its limits, and that he needs to rest. After that battle, who wouldn't?

 

A+

 

To Tajeri Lynn, "The Dog and Piggy Show" might be among Season 1's best offerings of them all. Uncle, as played by Sab Shimono, is fun, but it's Jim Cummings' Hak Foo who easily steals the show, even if he doesn't steal any talismans. Action fans will love the consistency of the fight scenes towards the final half. All in all, this is fast-paced fun without needing time to think too much of everything.