| Top 13 � Ways To Be Rebellious By Korky Young children of KHS, I have a fool-proof plan for you to become rebellious. Yes you can become rebellious and unique. Just follow the list in order as follows and you will be rebellious like those on certain movies with deviant behaviors. 1. Music. You must change your music because the music you are currently listening to is way too conformist. You must listen to 40's Swing. Music is attitude, attitude is music, change your attitude/music. 2. Attire. Your clothes are not rebellious. You need to wear a black K-mart zip-up hoodie. Tube socks with stripes shall be converted into wrist bands. This means you cut the top off the sock and wear them on your wrists. Also, you must wear a large amount of safety pins. That means no pop can pop tops. You must also try to kill yourself with a lady bic. Try to seduce Rex Manning* but only on Rex Manning Day. 3. Transportation. You MUST drive a Vespa. It needs to be at least 6 years old and it has to be sea foam green. 4. Hair. Cut your own hair in the bathroom of your occupation. It will surprise your co-workers and they will think your are super rebellious but only if you leave it in the sink and/or toilet. Tell your co-workers that they may glue it to their head if they want. 5. Vocabulary A. Yell things at people. Call them communists and neo-fascist. Throw meat and cheese products at them. 6. Read. You must read different materials than you read now. I don�t know what you�re reading now, but I am so sure that it is not rebellious. Danielle Steele is NOT rebellious. Neither is Harry Potter, sorry. 7. Fluids. Your current drinking substance is not good enough. You must be drinking liquid yogurt that makes you healthy and nourished. You are not rebellious if you do not drink this said substance. 8. Foodstuffs. Your current foodstuffs are not rebellious enough. You must eat Kid Cuisine. The little pictures on the front are really subliminal messages to tell us that we are individuals and stuff like that. 9. E-mail. Do NOT use e-mail. It is NOT rebellious. You must use snail mail. (For the jargon illiterate, that means the U.S. Postal Service.) Using the postal service means that you use up paper products and thus killing the rainforest. The rainforest is not rebellious. 10. Photographs. When getting prints, choose �matte� rather than glossy. Only rebellious people choose the matte finish. Real rebellious people chose matte because that is what real photographers use and rebellious people want to be all artsy fartsy. 11. Movies. You must watch R rated movies only. If you refuse to do this, you are NOT rebellious. You are rebelling against rebellion and that is so not cool. Go shop at the gap if you feel as to rebel against such rebellious ways. 12. Parents. Parents are never, never, ever, cool. Just forget about it. They are so not rebellious that they aren�t even really worth mentioning on the Rebellion List. I don�t know why I put this here, I mean, this paragraph is so not rebellious it�s not even funny anymore. 13. Writing. You must write in a black notebook and yell and complain at the world. Carry it around with you everywhere, but never ever let anyone look at it. They may whine and shout for you to let them view your incoherent rambling�s of life, but do NOT let them. It would be unrebellious. 13 �. Vocabulary B. Use such words as �swell� and �furious.� You must also say phrases like �and such,� �all the day,� �be it your merry will,� and �wow, that is mighty!� If you want to be rebellious follow this list in order. If you feel that you are not satisfied with just this list, write to: Individual Companies Inc. 100 Anarchist Dr. 204 Rebellious St. Nonneofascism, WA. 97842 *Rex Manning is a mega-rocks-superstar. He appears in the movie �Empire Records.� |