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| Psychos |
| It is at this time that I should advise you to turn away and run as far as you can physically run, but that would mean that you wouldn't be looking at my page, and that's just not cool. While these psychos can be quite dangerous at times, for the most part they are safe to be around. Unless, of course, there are staple guns or nunchucks around. But those things pose no threat in the virtual world of the internet, so don't fear. |
| Andy |
| This is the first psycho on my list of psychos. He is related to me. To be exact, he is my brother. Andy passes the time by attacking his friends with martial arts weapons, practicing his knifing around, and making animal noises at random people he meets. Mostly farm animals. When I hang out with him we have much fun; either hanging out with his queer friends (queer as in odd. Sorry fellas!) or pyloning (this shall be explained later) with Korky. Weapons of choice: knives, blunt objects, park benches, pylons, darkness, electricity, his own groin. He should be considered armed and incredibly dangerous. If you do not make any sudden movements, you will be bitten. |
| Paul |
| Ben |
| Hunter |
| Korky |
| Pokey |
| Acey |
| Paul is a wonderful and awesome creature. While he does not fit the profile of most of the other psychos featured on this page, rest assured that he is definately a psycho. While docile at most times he has been known to attack people from behind (but sorry fellas, he likes the chicks!) He uses his Latin charm to woo his ladies (and he woos plenty of them!) Someday maybe I'll be one of Paul's hoes. *sigh* Ahem! Anyway! Weapons of choice: Hard to tell. He breaks down your defenses with his charm and his stature and attacks with whatever is on hand. |
| Benjamin may look small and helpless but, in fact, he is a relentless opponent able to withstand brutal beatings and use his cunning wit to avoid confrontations. Called Bum by most friends, he is unpredictable and able to confuse his foes to the point of weeping like small children, rocking back and forth in the fetal position. It happens all the time, usually accompanied by humorous facial expressions and references to genitals. Weapons of choice: Confusion, embarassing personal facts, twiggy arms of fury, urine, jars of human feces used as grenades. |
| Hunter is probably one of the most psycho of all psychos. He is quick to act and is not afraid to strike females or small children. When cornered he lashes out like a vicious woodland creature. Any injury to Hunter results in an injury to the injurer (i.e. industrial staple gun to the arm or a good old-fashioned baseball bat beating.) Weapons of choice: staple guns, pick axes, super glue, urine, slappy hands of slaptitude, large tree branches. |
| Korky is probably one of the trickiest of all psychos. A pacifist, she rarely uses violence in her psychotic episodes. Choosing, instead, to use verbal abuse and the ability to thoroughly cofuse others, while remaining clear-headed herself. She is undaunted by small annoying children, her peers, or those older than herself. If you ever run accross her, just try to keep a level head, and a dictionary in hand so that you can step aside and figure out just what the hell she called you, or told you to screw. |
| Pokey is the most dangerous of all the psychos, by far. He will attack friends or strangers, males or females, children or adults, people or animals. His weapons range from found-objects, to his own bicuspids, to other humans small enough to lift and use as a battering ram, to flesh-melting chemicals. He has no fear of pain to his own person, and little fear of hurting others. Be afraid. Be very afraid. |
| Acey is perhaps the most puzzling of all the psychos. He is unpredictable and unsociable. Yet another pacifist, he relies on his wit and his knowledge of computers as his weapon, viciously attacking his victims via, MSN Messenger, Yahoo! Messenger, or his own website. Not even the internet is safe any more! |