A whole lotta nothing about me (that will all go right over your head)
My name is April (aka the artzychic, banana bandit #1, ape, little grape), I'm 15, and I live in Turkistan, "where cheetahs are plentiful and beavers roam free!" My greatest fear in life is getting lost in a Big Kmart. People in there are out for blood. "I think I found my favorite part in the whole store." (HAHAHA ALLISON!) I think man's greatest invention will always be the Spork. Oh, and "I want the red." "It's cherry, moron." I like driving down roads where animals are continually bounding in your path. "Please, Allison, hit me with your car!" And I always crack up when I think about Amee at Sea World. (Lisa, what do you want to see first? SHAMU--BLEGH!!! Hahaha! Oh man...) I am planning on being the first customer at Clay's when he is a gynecologist/bartender. And for all your information, my family does not eat burgers too fast, Lauren just eat really really really really slow. I like making my 'sexy noise,' "Reor." Always remember making wild, passionate, lesbian bunny love (HAHAHA, BRANDON!). You should all know that I think Mr. Balloon is sooooo incredibly sexy! Especially when he is decorating the Doofus Hat (the coolest hat ever created, esp for Lauren's bday). Lick him! *LICK LICK!* Don't worry, Laurs, *HE* is not my new bestest friend, but YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT THAT MESSAGE! "GET AWAY FROM THE TOILET!!!" Hahaha!
I am also madly in love with the ArmaDILDO ("I screamed so loud! Tell them how loud I screamed, April!" "Very loud.") and Wifebeater Boy, who is probably still hiding out at the beach with the rest of his Siberian Liberation Army pals including my love, DDB, plotting against the U.S. I love singing "Seeya Humba Cooken Yenni Quenkos" (ha ha ha ha, Lauren and JL, you guys can never get it right!!), making perverted bunnies with my hands with Brandon (the saga continues; "TAKE THE PICTURE!!!" hahahahaha!), videotaping dead birds with Julie, warning people "DON'T TOUCH THE HERPES MATS!" (fine, don't believe me, Rachel, but don't blame me when you get herpes on your face!), and going to Hooter's to express my masculine side! No one goes to Hooter's for wings... Reor. Always remember: Armar una tienda! At least we ended the classic perverted lunches with a bang by getting Lauren to do very very funny things with a stack of napkins, and dumping water all over Pat! We should have a reunion lunch so we can talk about multiple velcro-attachable peni that change colors (and have gangreen?), and about death involving a broom and a refrigerator. You guys have successfully de-sensitized me in one year... But this year proves to already have started a good lunch period! With our new little friend "Danny" who talks about who-knows-what! Always remember to have team spirit by cheering things like, "Good eye, good eye, take off your pants!" Okay, Rachel, Morgan and Marse, my favorite poetry from the English book:
"I hate her and I love her. Don't ask me why.
It's the way I feel, that's all, and it hurts."
OMG, that is sooo deep. LAME ASS! HAHA! Along w/ the Jerry Springer poem, the Lesbian poem and "I've Crossed Many Lands and A Lot Of Ocean." HAHAHAHAHA! Did u know that Jesus lives at Penn State? "Here comes Jesus, LOCK THE DOORS!" Haha! And remember that "Black Sabbath has had too many members." "I'm sorry you feel like that." Alli has a serious lack of Jenga skills!
Well, feel free to email me, y'all, right here! KIT! (Laurs-- Or is it KITCH?) And that is all you need to know about the great April. The End.
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