>THE SEVEN BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
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>Chain Letter Type 1:
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>(scroll down)
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>Make a wish!!!
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>Really, go on and make one!!!
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>Oh please.... they'll never go out with you!!! Wish something
>else!!!
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>Not that, you moron!!! Something else! Quick!!!
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>Is your finger getting tired yet?
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>STOP!!!!
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>Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel
>guilty,
>here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096
>people in
>the next 5 seconds, you will be attacked by a mad goat and then
>thrown off a
>high building into a pile of manure. It's true!
>Because, you know, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones,
>THIS one is
>TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:
>*Send this to 1 person: One person will be mad at you for sending
>them a
>stupid chain letter.
>*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be mad at you for
>sending them a
>stupid chain letter.
>*5-10 people: 5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them a
>stupid chain
>letter.
>*10-20 people: 10-20 people will be mad at you for sending them a
>stupid
>chain letter.
>*20 to 674,951 people: 20 to 674,951 people will be mad at you
>for sending
>them a stupid chain letter.
>Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
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>Chain Letter Type 2
>Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.You see, there is a
>starving
>little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no
>head, no
>parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved,
>because for
>every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the
>Little Starving
>Legless Armless Headless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
>Fund.
>Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent and this is all
>bull. So go
>on, reach out, Send this to 5 people in the next 47seconds. Oh,
>and a
>reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you
>will die
>instantly.
>Thanks again!!
>
>Chain Letter Type 3
>Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897.
>This is
>absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably
>not as
>many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it
>works. Pass
>this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something
>horrible will
>happen to you like:
>Stupid Horror Story #1
>Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
>recently
>received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack
>in the
>sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a
>flood of raw
>sewage, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she
>smell nasty,
>she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
>Stupid Horror Story #2
>Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and
>ignored it.
>Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his girlfriend.
>They both
>died. Their families were so upset that anyone even remotely
>related to them
>(even by marriage) went crazy and spent the rest of their
>miserable lives in
>an institution.This Could Happen To You!!!
>Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did.
>Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything
>will be
>OK.
>
>Chain Letter Type 4:
>As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one
>of your
>friends.
>Friends
>-A friend is someone who is always at your side,
>-A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like a
>refuse from a
>rotting garbage dump
>-A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly
>ugly,
>-A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled
>yourself
>-A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry
>about your
>loser life,
>-A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really
>think you
>should be attacked by a mad goat and then thrown in a pile of
>manure,
>-A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then
>gets the
>check and leaves and doesn't speak much English, no sorry - that's
>the
>cleaning lady,
>-A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he
>wants his
>wish of being rich to come true. Now pass this on! If you don't,
>you'll be
>eaten by wild goats.
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>Chain Letter Type 5:
>This e-mail is wicked-cool! It was started by Microsoft to test
>its e-mail
>tracking system because, you know, a big high-tech company like
>Microsoft
>always sends important new software out over the internet to be
>available to
>any moron who can operate a computer, right? Plus, they have
>formed a secret
>merger with Disney Corp., who has agreed to give up millions of
>dollars in
>revenue by giving everyone who reads this e-mail, passes it on,
>looks at it,
>knows someone that looked at it, or is related to someone who is a
>friend of
>someone who looks at it A FREE, ALL-EXPENSES-PAID TRIP to
>Disneyland,
>DisneyWorld, or EuroDisney! So pass this on to everyone you know
>that is
>gullible enough to believe this (or not)! Even if it's not true,
>hey
>-insulting all of your friends by implying that they are gullible
>by sending
>this to them is worth the improbable chance that you could go to
>Disneyland!
>Even if you lose all of your friends because they are tired of
>receiving
>this kind of junk from you, it's worth the chance, right? And just
>for good
>measure, if you don't send this on, Microsoft will send its
>specially trained
>attack-goats to pilfer your house and eat all of your family, SO
>SEND IT
>ON!!!!!
>
>Chain Letter Type 6:
>VIRUS WARNING!!!
>If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it
>immediately. Do not
>open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.
>It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will
>also delete
>anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes
>the
>stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access
>code,
>screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field
>harmonics to
>scratch any CD's you attempt toplay. It will re-calibrate your
>refrigerator's
>coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk
>curdles. It will
>program your phone AutoDial to call only your mother-in-law's
>number. And so
>on and so forth... So be careful! Forward this to all of your
>friends,
>relatives, neighbors, family, enemies, plumbers, garbagemen, stock
>rockers,
>doctors, and any other acquaintances! It's for their own good!
>Thank you.
(Okay, April here, I just want to interrupt this by referring to the above virus warning to remind those of you in Mr. Collier's 7th period class in 8th grade about when he read it aloud. Anyone remember this: "Why are you all laughing???? This isn't funny, THIS IS SERIOUS!" Laurs, oh my gosh!! Oh geez, I still laugh hysterically to myself about it� Now back to the email.)
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>Chain Letter Type 7:
>Here is a cute picture I drew.
(\ /)
(\ /)
(\ /)
( /<>\ )
( / \/ \ )
/ \
( )
( )
~ ~ ~ ~
>It is a decapitated angel. Send it on to all of your friends so
>it will
>brighten their day like it did yours! If you don't,
>demon-possessed goats
>will move into your house and eat all of your socks, leading you
>to believe
>that something is wrong with your washing machine because all of
>your socks
>keep disappearing. Have a nice day!!!
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>There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the seven main types
>of chain
>letters, onto the ironic part:
>In order for this to get any popularity, send it on!!! If you
>don't think it
>was funny at all, please don't bother, but otherwise forward this
>sucker to
>everyone you know!! If you don't, I don't care, but why not show
>this around?
>Take two minutes and forward it. Thanks!
>Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter,
>ignore it. If
>it's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna make
>people feel
>guilty (i.e. the goatless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or
>nervous (i.e.
>Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of raw sewage) just
>delete it.
>Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say,
>DEATH TO CHAIN
>LETTERS!!
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