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Part 7: School blues and asexual reproduction by Seraphina Paul wriggled uncomfortably in his seat. The teacher was going on about asexual reproduction or something but he had his mind honed on more important things. He doubled his wriggling assault, squirming so much that he knocked Tim�s arm as his friend was taking notes off the board. "Watch it ya fuckwit," hissed Tim, scribbling out the mistake he�d made and elbowing Paul hard enough to push him into Richard who was seated on his other side. "Paul," Richard whined softly. "Now look what you made me do," he said pointing to the extra dot he�d put on his �I�. He sighed and retrieved some liquid paper from his graffiti free pencil case and whited out the dreadful mistake in his science notes of all places. Paul apologised to them and went back to his wriggling. Finally, Tim had had enough and slammed his pen down. Luckily they were seated at the back of the lab so no one really noticed except for Wendy who was sitting in front of them, eavesdropping quite unnoticed on what the three lads behind her were saying. "What the fuck is the matter with you McDermott?" Tim whispered harshly. Paul stopped wriggling, his eyes downcast. "Nuthin�," he replied. "Bullshit! You�ve carried on like this all through English, all through maths, all through drama and I�ll be damned if I sit back and let you do it all through bloody science. Asexual reproduction is unbearable as it is without you squirming around like you�ve got fuckin pubic lice and annoying the crap�" The answer to the problem suddenly dawned on Tim and he gave Paul a sympathetic look. "They�re growin� back aren�t they?" he asked knowingly. Paul nodded miserably. "And it�s itchin� like hell isn�t it?" Tim consoled. "What�s growing back? What�s itching like hell?" Richard whispered. Paul and Tim rolled their eyes. "Have a think Richy," said Tim. Richard squinted his eyes, a look of sheer concentration crossing his face. Richard thinking was one of the most painful things to watch. A knowing look came across his face after about five minutes or so. "You�re talking about his pubes," he said a little too loudly. Wendy snorted in a most unlady like fashion and turned to face them. Paul glared at her as he continued to squirm. "Having a bit of a problem with your short and curlies there McDermott," she said loud enough for half the class to hear. Giggles could be heard to be stifled throughout the back half of the room. "Shut up Harmer," Paul grated. "Just shut up or else." "Or else what?," Wendy challenged. "I could rip your head off any day you oompa loompa." "As if," snorted Paul. "You seem to be forgetting who it was that beat you in an arm wrestle." Wendy rolled her eyes. "I let you win you bloody nitwit loser. As if you could of one. I�ve seen more muscles on the exoskeleton of a dung beetle." Paul�s short temper got the better of him and he ripped a page out of a very protesting Richard�s note book, scrunched it up and threw it at Wendy. Unfortunately, Paul�s ball game skills were a little lacking and he put a little too much omf into his throw. It hit the teacher in the forehead. "Great shot," teased Wendy before launching a spit ball at Paul. It bounced off his head and hit Tim who started mouthing off at her in anger. Meanwhile, Richard had mourned the loss of his perfect page of notes and now grabbed his bottle of liquid paper and up ended it all over Paul�s head. "THAT�S QUITE ENOUGH THANKYOU!" the teacher bellowed. "McDermott, Harmer, Ferguson and Fidler. Three hours after school detention for you lot. Now settle down and I�d better not have any trouble out of you for the rest of this lesson." The teacher glared at them before turning back to the board. "Detention?" Richard said in disbelief. "I�ve never had a detention before." "Shut up you wuss," said Wendy. "Leave him alone pussface," said Paul. "Yeah leave me alone." "Shut up Richard," said Tim and once again, an argument ensued. "THREE HOURS AFTER SCHOOL DETENTION FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK!" screamed the teacher. "Great," whispered Paul to Tim. "Detention with HER for the rest of the week." "Yeah," Tim agreed. "And it�s only Monday." |
