The Fellowship and the Elf Next Door - Chapter 1.
an/ this is just a teaser. Quite a short chapter. The others are longer, and better I have to say. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Legolas Greenleaf was bored, very bored. As was Haldir. Both elves had spent the entire, 'fun filled' *cough cough* morning on the couch watching TV. The only problem with that was the only thing on seemed to be a 17 1/4 hour changing rooms marathon. (Either that or 'Flipper' *shudder*) As you could imagine, sitting in front of the box watching ditzy designers paint walls ghastly colours and fuss around with cushions could get mighty dull. But seeing how it was either that or clean up the kitchen both elves plonked themselves down in a very un-elven manner in front of the TV with some carrots and some cornflakes... which they had mutually agreed was so much better than popcorn. Popcorn was so passe.

Aragorn was out of the house at a monopoly club meeting, Gandalf was busy downloading Sims skins on the internet (the wizard being absolutely obsessed with controlling his Sim's lives, seeing as he couldn't control anyone else's) Merry and Pippin were at Irish dancing lessons and Gimli was well...

Come to think of it, no one really knew where Gimli was, (eating rocks or doing embroidery presumably). As for Frodo, he had been asleep all day and Sam was playing with his Barbie dolls.

Haldir lived in the house next door, but seeing as how he had no TV, the elf came over to the fellowship's house everyday for meals and entertainment, often actually falling asleep on the kitchen or bathroom floor because he was so drunk. (Yes, he drank their alcohol too)

This particular morning Haldir had appeared at the door at 5am (much to Legolas's annoyance) and demanded bacon and eggs. Legolas however would have been quite content to sleep another hour or two before getting up and having some muesli and fruit. But Haldir had pushed his way in and found Sam cooking for Frodo and making little cucumber sandwiches for his Barbie dolls. Sam had been delighted that someone actually wanted to eat his cooking and had dished up Haldir a very large plate of Bacon and Eggs.

It wasn't everyday that someone would willingly eat the hobbit's fatty, greasy bacon or his eggs. Legolas was obsessed with health food and refused to eat anything even vaguely unhealthy, unless of course he was super happy (probably because someone *cough Aragorn cough* slipped some of the little blue pills that resided in a jar in the medicine cabinet, into his herbal tea.) super drunk or super depressed. The elf would then go on junk food bingeseating anything and everything, impressing the hobbits greatly. As for Gimli he only ate rocks and dirt, Aragorn stayed away from the eggs (they gave him stomach aches) and nobody had ever actually seen Gandalf eat, except for the gum he picked off the bottom of tables. As For Merry and Pippin, they both preferred eating raw bacon (they could get it a lot faster) and Frodo ate napkins and belly button lint and drank toilet water. (As you can see the whole 'ring thing' did odd things to his head.) If Sam ever cooked, the fellowship was usually force-fed the food, in Merry's case through a funnel.

So, after a very unhealthy breakfast, which Legolas strongly disapproved of, both elves plonked down on the couch for some form of entertainment, Haldir wearing a pink nightie and fairy wings, Legolas in his Pikachu boxer shorts (Pippin had given them to him for Christmas and Legolas was afraid that if he didn't wear them pippin would tickle him, the elf was very, very ticklish.) Haldir dug into a box of cornflakes with a straw and Legolas munched on a carrot in a very rabbit like way. Readers might notice that elves have odd eaing habits...

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Meanwhile, while Legolas and Haldir were zombies in front of changing rooms and the rest of the fellowship were at their various activities, Merry and Pippin were at Irish dancing lessons.

Both hobbits laced up their shoes and stood in a line amongst an army of 8- year-old girls and waited for their teacher to show up. When she finally did Pippin could not help but break out in hysterics. Merry gasped when he saw the teacher...

TO BE CONTINUED.