"What. Is. That." His tone of voice shocks me. He's cold. Angry. My arms droop.

" It's firewhisky and orange marmalade?" I will not cry. It seemed like such a good idea. I got a memory back. If you get away from the dementors long enough sometimes your happy memories will return. This one brought a smile to my face. We spent a night in Surry, camping out in the rough. A bear, apparently too hungry to worry about the scent of werewolf, ate all our supplies save for a half empty jar of marmalade and a bottle of fire whisky. Before we got too hungry to stay, the drunken sticky sex was great. I guess part of me wanted to try to recapture that feeling. The closeness, not the stickiness.

" Merlin! Sirius I'm sick of this!" He throws a book across the room and snarls at me. " We're not kids anymore. We're fucking adults and all you want to do is live in the past!" The bundle slips from my arms and the smell of booze and jam is overly sweet and sticky. He gives me an odd look when he sees the bread soaking up the mess, a smashed box of éclairs.

" You're wrong. I am a kid. You're 33 years old Moony. I'm not. On a good day I'm still just 21. Sometimes I feel twelve and scared and I just, I remembered what we were planning on having for our picnic lunch that day and I was so proud I remembered after all this time..." I'm backing out of the door of his room. " I thought we could go to the roof maybe, cause that wouldn't be leaving the house but I could still be outside but I'm bothering you and I'm sorry..."

" Sirius.."

" I said I'm sorry, okay!? I'm sorry I bothered you and I love you and I'm sorry!" He just stares at me and doesn't move until I turn away from the door and bump into Tonks.

" Severus just contacted us. Harry and a couple others are heading for the Ministry. They think you're being held there."