Author: Dorotea
Title: The Return 19
Disclaimer: Don't own them, not making any money from this
Rating: NC-17
Author's Notes: Thanks to Tammy and Dande for all their beta work!


"Words like violence
break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can't you understand
Oh my little girl
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm"
Depeche Mode, 'Enjoy the Silence'


Return 19

You feel a light kiss on your forehead, then a hand brushes over your breast.
Hot breath touches your neck, soft lips work their way up, kissing your chin
then your mouth. The hand caresses your breasts, moving back and forth
between them, your nipples hardening under the soft touch. You moan softly
as the kisses continue.

"Wake up, precious," you hear the tender voice and instantly open your eyes.
Obi-Wan is smiling at you. He is fully dressed and kneeling beside the bed.
You study him for a moment, then sit up in shock, looking around. How did
you get in Qui-Gon's bed? You went to bed in your own room last night. Why
was Obi-Wan kissing you? You hadn't even spoken to him since your fight
last week.

"Where's your braid?" you exclaim.
He looks confused, "My braid?" he asks.
"Yes, your padawan braid is gone!"
He gives you a very worried look. "Are you feeling okay? I know you've had
trouble sleeping since..." his voice trails off.
"Since what? What is going on? How did I get here?" you ask, confusion
growing.
Obi-Wan knits his brows together and softly strokes your hair. "You live
here," he says in a confused voice, "with me."
"I do not!" you protest, pushing his hand away from you. "Where is Qui-Gon?"

Obi-Wan pales and is visibly shaken by your question. "Kaeleena," he says
very softly, "You know Qui-Gon is dead."
"No, no. That can't be! How? When? I just spoke to him last week," you
respond in a panic -stricken voice.
Obi-Wan kisses you softly as tears begin to form in his eyes, "He was killed
6 months ago by the Sith."
"NO! NO!"
Obi-Wan pulls you into his arms. His hand goes to your forehead, "Sleep," he
commands.

You awake in a sweat; *Not the nightmare again.* "I'm never going to go to
sleep again," you mutter under your breath. You stand and walk over and pour
yourself a glass of water. You sit cross-legged on the floor and slowly sip
it. Finding your center, calming your mind.

You'd had the nightmare or variations of it every night for the last week.
Sometimes you see Qui-Gon falling to the ground, impaled by a strange, red
lightsaber; sometimes you see Obi-Wan screaming as his Master falls.
Sometimes in the nightmare you are walking through the temple asking everyone
where Qui-Gon is, only to have them stare at you as if you were mad. One of
the most disturbing aspects of the nightmares is Obi-Wan's intimacy with you.
In one of the dreams, he is making love to you when you feel his long hair
brushing your shoulders and realize something is very wrong.

You know that Jedi dreams are not always true visions. The future is always
in motion. You have had dreams before that have come to pass, but others
that have not. You had never had so many different dreams about the same
event, about the death of someone you loved.

You hadn't even seen Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan since your fight with Obi-Wan. They
had left on a mission the next day. Obi-Wan with a very bruised face. You
try to stir up some anger at Obi-Wan, but are unable to. You had been crazy
to think that he would be able to control his jealousy enough to share you
with his Master. Two alpha males, one strong-minded woman, yeah, that would
work. You had spoken with Qui-Gon once by commlink. Not much had been
said. Just that Obi-Wan was fine, except for slightly wounded pride and
expected hurt over your rejection. They should be back by now.

Maybe if you talk to him, you will feel better. You stand and walk over to
the table and pick up your commlink. You hold it in your hand for several
minutes. You just want to talk to him because of the dreams, nothing else.
*Liar.* You've missed him horribly over the last two weeks. Maybe that is
why you keep having the dreams. Because of your repressed desire to see him.
Yes, that must be it. Your subconscious is reminding you how much he means
to you. How you ache for him. The problem was, you missed Obi-Wan too.
That is why you hadn't talked to Qui-Gon, it didn't seem right unless you
could choose without any doubt. A little voice in the back of your head told
you that day might never come, but you always ignored that damn voice.

You put down the commlink. Better to see him in person. It is almost dawn,
if he is back he will be up already, meditating. You quickly get dressed and
leave your quarters.

You walk quickly through the Temple halls, now that you've decided you want
to see him, you want to see him RIGHT NOW. When you reach his quarters you
pause for a moment, Obi-Wan will be there. You're not ready to deal with
him. Hopefully he'll be in his room meditating. You ring the buzzer.

You wait patiently for a minute, which seems like an eternity. The door
slides open and Obi-Wan stares out at you.
Damn.
You try to not to act nervous. "May I see Qui-Gon, please," you say, your
voice coming out much colder than you intended.
He tries to follow your example by tonelessly answering, "Of course, come
in," but you see the flash of hurt in his eyes that you've come to see
Qui-Gon and not him.

He steps aside and you walk in. When you see Qui-Gon on the floor meditating
a wave of relief washes over you.
He looks up at you, his face an impassive mask.
You swallow, and sigh in relief. The nightmares had scared you more than you
cared to admit.
He sees your expression and he gives you a questioning look, sensing your
anxiety.

You sit down on the floor in front of him. You can't resist putting your
hand on his leg. You feel his warmth and you smile. So alive. 'Of course,
he is', you think, 'Jedi Masters are not easy to kill.'

"You look, umm, happy this morning," he says, probing for an answer to your
mood.
"I am happy to see you," you answer, your hand caressing his leg.
You hear Obi-Wan clear his throat.
"Yes, padawan?" Qui-Gon asks, looking up at Obi-Wan.
"May I leave?" Obi-Wan asks in a slow, controlled voice.
"Yes, padawan."

You don't look up as Obi-Wan leaves the room, eventually you will have to
talk to him, but right now you couldn't even think about anything but
Qui-Gon.
After the door slides closed you say, "I've missed you."
Qui-Gon's face seems to soften at the words, "I've missed you too."
You give him a small smile. You have to tell him quickly. No point in
getting his hopes up. You swallow nervously, "I can't make any promises yet."
"I understand," he says emotionlessly, but you can feel him reaching in to
your mind, trying to sense what is bothering you.

"I've been having nightmares," you answer, no point in trying to hide that
fact that something was wrong, he could tell.
"About?" he asks with concern.
You don't answer for a long moment, you search his eyes, then glance downward.
"About your death," you reply in a whisper.

His hand reaches out and strokes your face softly, lifting your chin, so you
are looking at him. "They are just nightmares, they don't necessarily mean
anything."
"I know. But I've been having them every night, all of them different, with
only one common factor, your death," you answer in a low worried tone.
He kisses your cheek lightly. "Come here," he says, inviting you onto his
lap.
As much as you want nothing more than to be enclosed his strong arms, you
hesitate. You need more time, you're not ready to make any decisions yet.

He senses your hesitation, "I'm not asking you to marry me, just let me hold
you," he says in an amused tone.
You give him a mock frown, laughing softly you move into his lap.
"Well, that is good, because you know how I hate weddings."
His strong arms wrap around you and you sigh softly. It feels so good, so
safe and secure in his arms.
'Alive,' you think to yourself.
You kiss his bearded cheek as you reach up and push his long, untied hair
back.
He kisses your lips softly, "I am quite alive, little one."

"The nightmares were so real," you tell him, stroking his beard, your need to
touch him overwhelming.
He gently pushes your hair back, running his fingers through it. "I think
you were just missing me."
You cock an eyebrow at him. "I have been missing you, but we've been apart
for longer than this and I never had dreams like this."
"Tell me what happened in the most recent dream."

You sigh softly and lay your head down on his shoulder. "In the dream I am
sleeping and Obi-Wan is trying to wake me up, in an inimate manner. He is
older and a Jedi Knight. I have no memory of him becoming a Knight or why I
am in a inimate relationship with him or where you are. I question him and
he tells me that you are dead."
Qui-Gon doesn't answer for a moment and you look up at him. He finally grins
at you and replies, "Well, at least I don't have to worry about you and
Obi-Wan being lonely after I'm gone."

You frown at him. "Now you know why the nightmares are so disturbing!" you
exclaim.
He laughs softly and kisses you again. "You shouldn't worry. The dreams are
just the result of your own feelings of guilt. You feel like you've betrayed
me by sleeping with Obi-Wan, you fear that you're going to lose me if you
can't let go of him."
"When did you become an expert in dream analysis?" you ask flatly.
"It's obvious. You don't have anything thing to be scared of. You're not
going to get rid of me that easily."

"Promise?"
"I promise," he says kissing you. "Don't feel guilty, little one."
"Do you feel guilty about sleeping with my sister?" you ask hesitantly.
"No," he answers with a small smile. "And I don't want you to feel guilty
either."
"But, I was wrong."
"We have both been wrong," he says quietly.
"I'm so..." you start to apologize, but he puts a finger to your lips.
"You don't have to apologize, you don't have to make any promises. I just
want you here, for as long as you want to be here. Do you understand?"
You nod your head and his lips find yours, kissing you lightly. You return
the kiss, moving closer to him.


His hand begins to explore your body, moving up your leg, over your stomach
and to your breasts. Heat rises in you as his fondles your breasts,
hardening your nipples. His kisses become more insistent, his tongue delving
deeply into your mouth. You heart pounding, you return his kiss. Not
breaking away from his kiss, you move to straddle him. His hands unclasp
your belt and he tosses it aside. He removes your sash and open your tunics,
as his hands touch your bare skin, waves of lust sweep through you. It feels
like it has been an eternity since he has touched you.

You unclasp his belt and frantically remove his sash and tunics, eager to
feel his bare flesh against yours. You can feel his arousal throbbing
against you as you grind into him. His hands massage your back, moving down
to roughly grab your hips. He easily picks you up and moves you toward the
bed, where he tosses you on your back.

"I don't get to be on top?" you ask with a smile.
He gives you a lustful stare as he removes your boots and crawls up the bed
to grab the waist of your pants. He undoes them and pulls them off, moving
down to the foot of the bed.
He grabs your ankles and puts your legs on his shoulders, "Not today," he
growls as he dives between your legs.

You let out a squeal as his mouth devours you. He sucks on your folds,
pulling them into his mouth. His tongue explores everywhere, your hips arch
off the bed as his tongue slides in and out of you. His thumb finds your
clitoris and rubs it, causing you to moan loudly.
"You taste delicious, little one," he says huskily as he slides a finger
inside of you.

You grind your hips against his hand as he follows with two more fingers, his
tongue licking your clitoris. You don't think you can take much more of
this, you want him so badly.
"Now, please," you groan.
"I want to make sure you're ready," he says teasingly.
"I am, I am, please..." you whimper.

He stops and quickly takes his pants off. He mounts you, letting his weight
rest on you as he slowly enters you. He moans as feels your wetness. He
moves slowly at first, as you wrap your legs around him, wanting him to go
faster. You grind your hips into him and his lips come crushing down on
yours as he thrusts faster, unable to control his passion any longer. His
hips begin to slam into yours with bruising force.

As his tongue pushes deep into your mouth, your body explodes with pleasure
as you climax, waves of ecstasy sweeping through you. Your muscles
contracting around his cock send him over the edge and he explodes inside of
you. His body spasming against you.

He kisses you softly, "I love you, little one."
"I love you too," you whisper.
"What are you doing today?" he asks as he rolls off of you.
"Teaching meditative techniques to 5 year olds," you answer with a small
laugh.
"Your last mission must have gone well."
"I think it actually has more to do with beating up padawans in the training
room," you reply sheepishly.
Qui-Gon sighs as he pulls you into his arms. "Did they tell you that?"
"Not in so many words, but the implication was there. I think everyone
knows."
"I'm sorry," he answers quietly.
"It wasn't your fault, you warned me."
"I shouldn't have let it go that far, if I had stopped him..."
"I would have had to kick your ass then!" you exclaim.
He laughs and kisses you on the cheek, "Don't get delusions of power, little
one."
You laugh as you climb out of bed a pick up your clothes. "I'd love to show
you, but I don't want to keep the five year olds waiting."

"Come back for dinner."
"Will Obi-Wan be here?" you ask tentatively.
"Yes."
"Why don't you come to my room for dinner then."
"I can't leave Obi-Wan alone, he's been getting into trouble."
"What kind of trouble?" you ask, afraid of the answer.
"Oh, he keeps sneaking off to have sex with anyone who will say yes," Qui-Gon
says it very casually, but you sense he is watching very closely for your
reaction.

You feel your pulse increase and you try to bring it under control. You
start to get dressed. You do not care. You do not care. You do not care.
Oh gods, you should've answered by now. Say something, say something casual.
"Hmmm." you answer, trying to be nonchalant. "That's too bad, but llook on
the bright side, at least he's only going after the ones who say yes."
Qui-Gon gives you a wry grin. "Yes, but there are so many who say yes, he's
exhausting himself. How can he train properly that way? Before you, he was
such a good, obedient padawan."
He's playing with you, the arrogant bastard, trying so hard to get a jealous
reaction from you. You frown at him. "Shut up!" you exclaim, kicking him
lightly.
He gives you a mock aghast look. "See, your disrespect and disobedience
rubbed off on him." He grabs you and tosses you back on the bed. He rolls
you onto your stomach and spanks your bottom. "I think you are in desperate
need for punishment, little one."

He releases you and you roll over, laughing, "I'm going to be late! Plus,
you're not being nice."
He kisses you, "Your punishment can wait until later, it will give you
something to think about today. How I'm going to undress you, tie..."
You put your hand over his mouth. "Don't tease, how will I be able to
meditate thinking about THAT all day!"
You kiss him quickly, and finish getting dressed.

As he dresses, he asks, "I'll expect you for dinner."
You frown, "Dinner is fine, but I don't think I can have sex with you if
Obi-Wan is in his room listening."
Qui-Gon gives you an evil grin. "It is a good lesson for him in learning to
control his emotions."
"You are cruel."
"And it will teach him not to attempt to steal another man's woman," he says
putting his arms around you possessively. You lean into him, not wanting to
leave his arms. Everything feels right again. You feel more relaxed than
you have in a long time.
"Or it will teach him to do a better job of it next time," you say with a
small laugh.
Qui-Gon frowns as he leads you to the door. "See you tonight," he says as he
keys the door open and gives you a light kiss on the cheek.
"Yes, Master," you say as you return the kiss.

You leave and begin quickly walking down the hall. It doesn't take you long
to figure out you are being followed. You stop and sigh. Not again. You
don't have time for this now.
You turn to face Obi-Wan. You are expecting him to be glaring at you, but
instead he is standing, looking slightly down. He is holding out a bouquet
of flowers.
"I'm sorry," he says softly.
You stare blankly at him. Damn, he is learning. It would be so much easier
if he weren't.