Exiles: Taking Out the Trash

 

(Front cover. The members of the Exiles are armed with pointed sticks and picking up litter from the ground.)

Cap (N): The Exiles take out the trash!

Morph: This isn't quite what I had in mind when you said that.

 

(Page 1, panel 1. A park. The place is littered with trash in places. The Exiles teleport in.)

Cap (N): Another world, another reality to save. This is the life of the Exiles. This time, however, things are different.

Nocturne: Now where are we?

(Panel 2. Morph shapeshifts a clothespin over his nose.)

Morph: I don't know, but it sure smells bad.

Mimic: Let's see what the Tallus says…

(Panel 3. A bunch of loose papers falls out on the ground at the Exiles' feet.)

Nocturne: Hey! What gives?!

Magik: Eugh!

(Panel 4. The Exiles walk out of the park. They notice that the place is very dirty.)

Sasquatch: What is going on with this place?

Voice (From off panel): That would be the Leader's doing.

(Panel 5. Enter Phoenix [Jean Grey,] attired in a very conservative dress with long sleeves and a full-length skirt. This dress is in a Victorian style.)

Phoenix: You should come with me and get out of sight now.

Moprph: Any reason why?

(Panel 6.)

Phoenix: Anyone found outside at this time will be shot.

Morph: That's a very good reason.

 

(Page 2, panel 1. They go inside an office building. There is a guard at the front desk, and it is Beast. He is attired in a very conservative police uniform.)

Phoenix: Piotr, they're with me.

Beast: What's going on? They're out of uniform.

(Panel 2.)

Phoenix: It's a long story. They're not from around here.

Beast: You'd better catch them up to what's going on, Phoenix.

(Panel 3. Phoenix takes them back to a room where there are racks of ultra-conservative clothing.)

Mimic: So you have to wear this clothing?

Phoenix: Yes. Orders of the Leader.

Nocturne: Just who is this Leader anyway?

(Panel 4.)

Phoenix: My ex-husband, Cyclops.

Morph: Cyclops is Leader of this city?

(Panel 5.)

Phoenix: I had to divorce him – he's gotten psychotic and out of control. He's laid waste to the environment. He makes us wear these confining fashions. To say no to him is to invite death.

Sunfire: Why do I have the sinking feeling we're supposed to bring him down?

(Panel 6. Enter Psylocke, also attired in conservative clothing.)

Psylocke: I got your mental message – oh dear.

Phoenix: Elizabeth, these are the Exiles.

 

(Page 3, panel 1. Psylocke pulls out a dress that is about Sunfire's size.)

Psylocke: Please, put these on now. If Cyclops sees you like that, he will have you killed immediately.

Mimic: Why are you letting him do this?

(Panel 2.)

Phoenix: We've been forming a resistance to his work. I hate these kinds of clothing. I want to save the environment. We're a small group but we're gaining popularity.

Mimic: Well, I have a feeling we're here to stop him.

(Panel 3. Mimic checks the Tallus.)

Mimic (reads): Stop Cyclops from releasing chemical 2435 into atmosphere.

Morph: What is Chemical 2435?

Phoenix: I don't know, but I have a feeling that it's not good.

(Panel 4. Later on, the Exiles are in the fashions of the reality.)

Nocturne: I feel like I'm wearing a suit of armor.

Morph: This isn't much better.

Sunfire: At least you can morph your clothing on. This stuff itches like hell.

(Panel 5. Sunfire starts scratching her arms with each other.)

Magik: It feels like wool.

Phoenix: It is. It's the only cloth permitted here.

Nocturne: I am very hot here.

(Panel 6. Morph shapeshifts some Groucho glasses, a moustache, and a cigar in his hand.)

Morph: You can say that again.

Nocturne (not amused): Morph…

 

(Page 4, panel 1. Morph shapeshifts the Groucho gear away.)

Phoenix: We could use your help in toppling his rein.

Mimic: We'll all help out.

(Panel 2.)

Mimic: Who's the leader in this place?

Phoenix: I am.

(Panel 3. They walk out of the area with the outfits.)

Phoenix: The legacy of Xavier shouldn't die, even though he did.

Morph: I agree with that.

(Panel 4. Morph shapeshifts into Professor Xavier.)

Morph: He taught me quite a bit on how to use my powers.

Phoenix: Who's that? You look nothing like him.

Nocturne: That's the Professor – or rather, what he looked like in our world.

(Panel 5. Morph shapeshifts back into his usual appearance with the conservative attire on.)

Mimic: We need a plan, and more information.

 

(Page 5, panel 1. The offices of Cyclops. Cyclops is sitting behind a desk. He is attired in the same conservative, Victorian style dress.)

Cap (N): At about the same time…

Cyclops: I don't want excuses. I want answers. The sensors picked up some unknown form of energy by the old resistance headquarters. What was it?

Voice (from off panel): We have people investigating the site right now, mister Leader.

(Panel 2. In a more general perspective, we see that he is talking to Angel.)

Angel: Mister Leader, it is a distance from here. They're having to travel the speed limit, remember?

Cyclops: Don't argue with me!

(Panel 3. Angel bows.)

Angel: Of course, mister Leader.

Cyclops: I've worked too long and too hard to have to put up with nonsense.

(Panel 4. Angel exits.)

Cyclops: I am surrounded by fools and idiots.

 

(Page 6, panel 1. Back with the Exiles, they are sitting around a table with Phoenix, Psylocke, and Beast. Beast and Magik sit next to each other.)

Cap (N): And so…

Phoenix: They think we were crushed six months ago, and they think I'm dead. That's an element of surprise we hope to use to our advantage.

Mimic: That's good. We can teleport into the area and take people by surprise.

Psylocke: Teleportation is blocked in all areas. There's some sort of harmonic frequency that disrupts it.

(Panel 2.)

Nocturne: That wouldn't make sense. We shouldn't have been able to teleport in if that was the case.

Moprh: What she said.

Phoenix: Well, Nightcrawler couldn't teleport out last time he tried.

Magik: When was that?

(Panel 3.)

Phoenix: Yesterday morning.

Sunfire: Hmm… try it out, Illyana.

(Panel 4. Magik stands up.)

Magik: All right, here goes…

(Panel 5. Nothing happens.)

Magik: I… I can't do it, guys.

(Panel 6. Magik sits down uneasily.)

Magik: This could be a problem, guys.

Morph: That doesn't make sense. How could we have gotten here in the first place?

Mimic: Let's worry about that later. We need a plan to stop Cyclops.

 

(Page 7, panel 1. Morph shapeshifts into Cyclops.)

Morph: Think I could try to pass myself off as him?

Phoenix: He's got telepaths in his camp too. They'd detect you in a split second.

(Panel 2. Morph shapeshifts back into himself in the conservative clothing.)

Mimic: Other than an all-out assault, I don't see much of an alternative. They may have become complacent since they think you've been defeated.

Phoenix: That's very doubtful, Mimic. Cyclops is very paranoid and keeps everyone on their toes at all times.

(Panel 3.)

Mimic: Well, what do you recommend we do?

Phoenix: That's something I can't say. They are very well prepared for whatever we do.

(Panel 4. Mimic stands up.)

Mimic: Direct assault it is, unless someone has objections.

(Panel 5. Silence. Panel 6.)

Phoenix: We're either going to die or be successful. I pray it's the latter. 

 

(Page 8, panel 1. Outside the place, Cyclops' assistants arrive in an armored car.)

Cap (N): Outside, the people Cyclops sent have arrived…

(Panel 2. Cyclops' people step from the armored car. They are Iceman, The White Queen, and Colossus.)

White Queen: I don't sense anything around here. Are you sure that wasn't an equipment malfunction?

Iceman: Positive. Cyclops has us keep everything in top shape all the time, remember?

(Panel 3. They look around the place.)

White Queen: Then we're going over this place with a fine-toothed comb. Leave no stone unturned.

Iceman: I hope it's not trouble.

(Panel 4. Colossus is standing outside the front of the rebel's place.)

Cap (N): Fate has a weird way of intervening in things…

(Panel 5. Colossus enters the place to find it abandoned.)

Colossus' thoughts: So far, pretty quiet…

 

(Page 9, panel 1. Colossus walks down a corridor. Panel 2. A pair of female hands reaches out and grabs Colossus.)

Colossus: Chto?!

(Panel 2. Colossus is face-to-face with Magik.)

Magik: Piotr, it's me.

Colossus: Illyana?

(Panel 3. Colossus picks up Magik and hugs her.)

Colossus: Little snowflake, they told me you were in prison.

Magik: Nyet, Piotr. I am very much here.

(Panel 4. Colossus sets Magik down.)

Colossus: So how did you get out of that prison?

Magik: That's… a long story. Piotr, I want to come with me.

(Panel 5. The two walk down the corridor side-by-side.)

Colossus: Is this a resistance movement?

Magik: Da. Cyclops must be stopped.

(Panel 6.)

Colossus: I agree, little snowflake. He is a menace and has done terrible things to the environment.

Magik: We really need all the help we can get, Piotr.

 

(Page 10, panel 1. Outside the headquarters, the White Queen and Iceman are looking around the place.)

White Queen: What did you find, Iceman?

Iceman: Nothing, White Queen. However, Colossus seems to have vanished.

(Panel 2. Iceman speaks into a communicator.)

Iceman: Colossus, report your situation, over.

(Panel 3. Back in the headquarters, Colossus pulls out his communicator.)

Colossus: Iceman, in trouble! Come inside at once!

(Panel 4. Colossus crushes his communicator with one hand.)

Colossus: This should bring them inside.

Psylocke: We'll have an ambush waiting.

SFX: Skrutch!

(Panel 5. At the entrance, The White Queen and Iceman enter, looking around the place.)

Iceman: Colossus! Where are you?

White Queen: Wait a minute – I sense more than one person here.

(Panel 6. The Exiles, Psylocke, Phoenix, Beast, and Colossus attack.)

White Queen: We've run into an ambush!

 

(Page 11, panel 1. Sunfire hits Iceman with a blast of fire.)

Sunfire: You should warm up.

SFX: WHOOMPH!

(Panel 2. The White Queen and Phoenix are face-to-face.)

White Queen: It can't be! You're dead!

Phoenix: Wolverine isn't around to make a chicken-hearted attack, White Queen.

(Panel 3. The White Queen and Phoenix unleash their psychic powers at each other at the same time. Both of them are knocked down.)

SFX: WHAM!

(Panel 4. Psylocke and Beast rush up to Phoenix. Mimic, Morph and Magik race up to the White Queen. In the background, the others are fighting Iceman, who shoots an artic blast at Sunfire, but misses her.)

Psylocke: Phoenix!

(Panel 5. Phoenix uneasily sits up, nursing her head.)

Phoenix: I'm… I'm all right… I think.

Morph: It's hard to survive the psi-blast of a class A telepath. Anything we can do to help you out?

(Panel 6. Phoenix rolls her eyes at Morph.)

Phoenix: You can start by stopping your undressing of me with your eyes.

Sunfire (to Morph): Busted!

 

(Page 12, panel 1. Morph shapeshifts into himself with lots of muscles.)

Morph: Come on, if you saw a really handsome guy, wouldn't you do the same?

Phoenix: No.

(Panel 2. Morph shapeshifts back to himself in the conservative clothing.)

Mimic: Come on, let's save that for the main event.

Sunfire: Do forgive him; he's like that a lot.

Phoenix: It's understandable.

(Panel 3.)

Phoenix: Well, this changes a lot now; they know about us, and are onto us.

Psylocke: On the up side, we now have a vehicle that we can use.

(Panel 4. The Exiles have tied up the White Queen and Iceman. The two of them are conscious now.)

White Queen: You'll never get away with this.

Phoenix: Even if we don't succeed… we'll have died trying.

(Panel 5. Everyone except the White Queen and Iceman start filing out of the place.)

Morph: As Ben Franklin said on my earth: "People who would trade liberty for security deserve neither."

 

(Page 13, panel 1. Colossus leads the Exiles into the headquarters of Cyclops. The Exiles are wearing handcuffs and chained together.)

Cap (N): Later…

(Panel 2. They run into a desk where Forge is sitting.)

Forge: Report.

Colossus: We have brought the rebel prisoners here for Cyclops.

(Panel 3. Forge looks over the Exiles.)

Forge: Something doesn't seem right here…

(Panel 4. Forge looks over the Exiles.)

Forge: Magik… you're supposed to be in the detention camp in Alaska.

Magik: Your security is woefully lacking there.

(Panel 5. Forge looks over Mimic.)

Forge: Mimic… you were reported killed six months ago when we crushed your rebellion last time.

Mimic: Reports of my death were highly exaggerated.

(Panel 6. Forge looks over Morph.)

Forge: There are no records of you anywhere on the planet… who are you?

Morph: I'm Morph. Who are you?

 

(Page 14, panel 1. Forge looks at Sasquatch.)

Forge: You, Sasquatch… I killed you personally two years ago.

Sasquatch: You obviously didn't do a good enough job. I'm sure Cyclops will want to hear about that.

(Panel 2. Forge pulls out a gun and fires at Sasquatch. She dives out of the way.)

Forge: I can't have you being alive now!

SFX: BLAM BLAM BLAM!

(Panel 3. The Exiles shed their bonds and fight back.)

Forge: What the --!?

Mimic: Sorry, but we can't have you hurting us.

(Panel 4. Magik thrusts her sword into Forge, and he throws sparks.)

Forge: GGAAHHH!! Error! Fatal exception has occurred!! 10010100111101011101010011111!

(Panel 5. Forge falls over as Magik withdraws her sword from Forge, who falls over.)

Nocturne: He was a robot…?

Colossus: Cyborg, actually. Forge was always doing terrible experiments, and they often backfired on him.

(Panel 6. Everyone rushes up a flight of stairs.)

Colossus: This way, comrades. Cyclops' office is upstairs.

 

(Page 15, panel 1. The Exiles, Phoenix, Psylocke, and Colossus break into the office of Cyclops.)

Mimic: It's all over!

(Panel 2. Cyclops stands up, looking at them.)

Cyclops: Did I say you could come in here? Did I give permission to enter this office?

Phoenix: You have ruined the land, polluted the water, and made the air hard to breathe! We may never get to undo all the damage you did Cyclops! It's time you stepped aside and let others rule here!

(Panel 3. Cyclops stares grim-faced at Phoenix.)

Cyclops: I am the Leader. I will be Leader until I die, end of story.

Morph: Mister, you are no longer a human being. You are an uncaring machine.

(Panel 4. Cyclops holds up a small box. It has a small button on it.)

Cyclops: I will remain Leader here.

(Panel 5. Cyclops pushes a button on the small box, and then everyone except himself and Morph suddenly grab their heads and are electrocuted.)

Cap (N1): Cyclops was very paranoid.

Cap (N2): He ordered that in every article of clothing, there had to be a special device that would respond to his command.

Cap (N3: This he could keep people in control.

(Panel 6. Everyone except Morph and Cyclops go down.)

Morph: Uh-oh. This does not look good.

Cyclops: You! Your clothing must be defective! I shall take care of you personally!

 

(Page 16, panel 1. Cyclops fires his optic blasts at Morph, who dives out of the way.)

Morph: Whoa! Say mister, my clothes are part of me! They are not defective!

(Panel 2. Morph shapeshifts into a mirror. Cyclops fires his optic blasts again, and it hits the mirror.)

Cap (N): Unfortunately, light bounces off reflective surfaces…

(Panel 3. The optic blast reflects back at Cyclops, hitting him squarely in the chest.)

Cap (N): Angle of incidence equals the angle of reflection. For Cyclops, that's bad news indeed…

(Panel 4. Cyclops is knocked off his feet and out a window.)

Cap (N1): In Cyclops' world, he never met Morph.

Cap (N2): Although the reflected blast of his eyes did Cyclops no damage

Cap (N3): It did send him over the edge.

(Panel 5. Cyclops is seen falling downward off a balcony.)

Cyclops: NNNOOOOOOOO!!!

(Panel 6. Morph changes back into his usual appearance.)

Morph: Hey guys, I beat him! He's gone! Oh wait, you're all hurt now.

 

(Page 17, panel 1. Morph checks on Sunfire. He takes her pulse.)

Morph: Come on, Mariko… your heart is beating….

(Panel 2. Sunfire opens her eyes.)

Morph: Mariko, can you hear me?

Sunfire: Morph… get your hands… off of me…

(Panel 3. Morph lets go of Sunfire.)

Morph: Oh, touchy today, are we? Come on, I need help; the others are hurting.

Sunfire: I wanna rest…

(Panel 4. Morph goes over to Mimic.)

Morph: Calvin, are you all right? Can you hear me?

Mimic: Uh… mom, it's Saturday, I don't have to go to school…

(Panel 5. Morph scowls at Mimic.)

Morph: Hey, I'll do the comedy around here.

Mimic: Goodnight…

(Panel 6.)

Morph: Why do I get the feeling this is payback for that whoopee cushion I stuck under Sasquatch's chair a while back.

 

(Page 18, panel 1. Nearby, Sasquatch sits up uneasily.)

Sasquatch: I had a feeling… it was you that did that, Morph…

Morph: Uh-oh. Busted!

(Panel 2. Sasquatch uneasily stands up.)

Sasquatch: If this wasn't such an emergency I'd be very angry right now.

Morph: Well, I'm sorry, Heather…

(Panel 3. Morph checks on Phoenix as Sasquatch goes over to Mimic.)

Sasquatch: We'll talk about that later.  Right now, we've got to help the others out.

(Panel 4. Morph takes the pulse of Phoenix.)

Morph: She's alive still… I think that whatever hit everyone had to do with the clothing.

Sasquatch: So's Calvin.

 

(Page 19, panel 1. Later on, Phoenix broadcasts to the world. She is in the office of Cyclops.)

Cap (N): Much later…

Phoenix: Everyone, we have a great task ahead of us. We have defeated Cyclops. He is out of power now – and we are in charge. The suspension of the constitution because of war is over. We are going to reinstitute the way things were before Cyclops was made leader. We have been on the road to nowhere for 15 years now. It's time to put us back on the right path.

(Panel 2.)

Phoenix: We have a monumental task before us; the environment should be our primary concern. The policies of Cyclops have laid waste to much of the environment in our city. We have to clean things up and fast. The environment outside is unhealthy, and we must clean it up.

(Panel 3. The Exiles are nearby, watching Phoenix state her declaration.)

Morph: Ah, it's good when things work out for the best.

Nocturne: Well, now that we've defeated Cyclops, we can leave this place, right?

(Panel 4. Mimic checks over the Tallus.)

Mimic: Wrong, TJ. We've got new instructions here. The Tallus says we have to help them clean this city up.

(Panel 5. All the other Exiles pull a face.)

Magik: Aw, man…

Nocturne: We've got to help them clean the place up? We're adventurers, not janitors!

Mimic: I don't like it as much as you don't like it. However, that's what the Tallus says.

(Panel 6. He shows the Tallus to the others.)

Morph: Well, I see it, but I just don't like it.

Mimic: Sometimes, being a hero means doing mundane work.

 

(Page 20, panel 1. They are outside cleaning the place up. Sunfire is in the air, spraying a chemical into the air with a gun. The gun is attached to a tank strapped to her back. Morph has his hands shapeshifted into large shovels, and is shoveling trash into a dumpster. Mimic and Magik are also cleaning things up too.)

Cap (N): Much later…

Morph: I think I'd rather be facing a thousand Sentinels.

(Panel 2. Nocturne whips up a hex bolt, disintegrating a pile of trash.)

Mimic: Sometimes Morph, doing the right thing becomes mundane.

Nocturne: Still, it feels like a waste to use our powers on trash.

(Panel 3.)

Sasquatch: Sometimes, even the tiny things in life can be majorly helpful in the world.

Morph: This is far from a tiny task, Heather.

(Panel 5. Enter Phoenix, flying in. She has the same kind of canister that Sunfire has on her back. Phoenix is spraying the chemical as she flies in.)

Phoenix: We know this will take time to fix, but we do appreciate your help in this.

Mimic: No problem, Phoenix. We're always glad to help.

Cap (N): Time will only tell if they were not too late to save their world.

 

--End--