Ninja High School: Mimi's Big Makeover

 

By Icehole

 

(Page 1, panel 1. An extremely fake looking woman is standing on a set. From her bleach blonde hair [whose roots show] to her silicone-enhanced chest to her liposuctioned thighs, she reeks of plastic surgery. An arrow points to her that reads "100% fake." A monitor next to her has the logo for Makeover Surprise.)

Cassee (Woman): Hi de ho, makeover fans, it's your hostess with the mostess, Cassee here.

SFX (Next to her chest): Jiggle! Jiggle!

(Panel 2. A monitor shows a picture of Mimi Masters.)

Cassee: If any of our gals needed a makeover, it's this one. This is Mimi Masters. She's a sorceress from the city of Quagmire.

SFX (Next to Cassee's chest): Jiggle! Jiggle!

(Panel 3. Cassee has a disgusted look on her face.)

Cassee: Like, what's with that dress, anyway? It is soooooo last millennium, ok? We had to give her a makeover.

SFX (Next to Cassee's chest): Jiggle! Jiggle!

(Panel 4. The monitor shows Henrietta Porter.)

Cassee: This is Henrietta Porter. She's Mimi's best friend and protégé.

She's going to help us out here. Well, let's get to making her over. Our leader Wendy will work her magic on this sorceress.

SFX (Next to Cassee's chest): Jiggle! Jiggle!

(Panel 5. Mimi's front door. There are about 4 people there. Wendy is a tall, thin bleach blonde woman in a miniskirt and blouse.)

Wendy: Well, this is the address... Let's hope this Mimi Masters is home....

(Panel 6. Wendy rings the doorbell.)

SFX: Ding-dong!

 

(Page 2, panel 1. Mimi Masters answers the door.)

Mimi: Yes?

Wendy: Are you Mimi Masters?

(Panel 2. Mimi seems extremely apprehensive.)

Mimi: I might be... Why do you ask?

Wendy: We're from Makeover Surprise. You've been recommended for a makeover, so we're here to give you one!

(Panel 3. Mimi shuts the door in their faces.)

Mimi: I'm a powerful sorceress. If I wanted a new look I'd whip it up myself.

SFX: Slam!

(Panel 4. Inside, Mimi talks to Aloysius and Henrietta Porter.)

Henrietta: Who was that?

Mimi: Oh, someone who was trying to give me a makeover.

(Panel 5. Henrietta perks up.)

Henrietta: Well, if you don't want it, can I have it?

Aloysius: Maybe you should get a makeover, Mimi. After all, you've been wearing that same style of dress for as long as I've known you.

(Panel 6. Mimi raises a finger at them.)

Mimi: I don't want a bunch of perverts drooling all over me. I want to be respected for my mind.

Henrietta: Oh, that won't happen. Come on, It'll be fun! I'll go with you.

 

(Page 3, panel 1. Mimi goes to the door.)

Mimi: I'll see if they'll let you do it.

(Panel 2. Mimi opens the door to show Wendy there.)

Wendy: Changed your mind?

(Panel 3. Mimi gestures to Henrietta.)

Mimi: Why don't you let my friend Henrietta go in my place?

Wendy: Um... no, sorry. It must be you.

(Panel 4. Mimi looks frustrated.)

Mimi (to Wendy): You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?

Wendy: Come on, It'll be fun!

(Panel 5. Mimi exits the house.)

Mimi: Fine! All right, you want a disaster, you'll get it.

Wendy: We don't deal in disasters; we deal in making you look beautiful.

(Panel 6. Quagmire mall. We see the place from a distance.)

Caption (N): And so they went to Quagmire mall...

 

(Page 4, Panel 1. A hair salon. Mimi is sitting in a chair, wearing a smock. A pleasant green-hared woman is working on Mimi's hair.)

Caption (N): Next stop: Hairstyle.

Hairdresser: Well, I see Madam takes good care of her hair.

Mimi: Well... Not really...

(Panel 2. The hairdresser brushes Mimi's hair.)

Hairdresser: So what's your secret to such nice hair?

Mimi: Well, I often get demon guts in it... I'm usually fighting them. That's really messy, though...

(Panel 3. The hairdresser looks crestfallen and uneasy.)

Hairdresser: Okay...

Mimi: You wanted an answer, and I gave you one. If you weren't ready for it, you shouldn't have asked.

(Panel 4. The hairdresser continues to brush Mimi's hair.)

Hairdresser: ...

Henrietta: Mimi!

Mimi: She wanted the truth, and I gave it to her.

(Panel 5. Wendy covers her face with her hand.)

Wendy: Let's edit that out later, all right? I don't want it becoming a fashion statement to wash your hair with demon guts.

Caption: (N): And another stupid craze has been narrowly averted.

(Panel 6. The hairdresser is putting gel in Mimi's hair. Her hair is slightly different, and flatters her face more.)

Hairdresser: Almost done here...

 

 

(Page 5, panel 1. A makeup stand. Mimi is sitting in a chair, wearing a smock. She is now without her trademark glasses. Henrietta Porter and Wendy are nearby. Next to Mimi is a woman attired in a white lab coat and miniskirt.)

Caption (N): Stop #1: makeup.

Mimi: Just get this over with.

Woman: Madam, quality can never be rushed.

(Panel 2. The woman applies makeup to Mimi's face with a brush.)

Woman: Madam's skin is in good condition.

Mimi: Well, I do take care of myself...

(Panel 3. The woman applies eye shadow with a small wand.)

Woman: This should flatter madam's eyes perfectly.

(Panel 4. The makeup artist continues to work on Mimi.)

Woman: What's your secret?

Mimi: I don't have a secret. I usually don't lavish attention on my appearance.

(Panel 5. The makeup artist continues to work on Mimi.)

Artist: Well, you wouldn't know that by looking.

(Panel 6. The makeup artist finishes making up Mimi. She holds up a mirror to show Mimi what she looks like.)

Woman: There you go, all done.

Mimi: All right. I appreciate what you have done here.

 

(Page 6, panel 1. Mimi stands up, taking the smock off.)

Hairdresser: There we go, all done.

Mimi: Is it over now?

Wendy: Oh no, we're just getting started.

(Panel 2. Wendy and Henrietta Porter lead Mimi towards a woman's clothing store.)

Caption (N): Next stop, clothing.

Wendy: Next stop, a new dress!

Mimi: I like the dress I wear just fine.

(Panel 3. They lead her into the store.)

Wendy: We'll get you a dress that's going to wow the guys!

Mimi (frustrated): That's just it! I don't want to wow the guys! I want to be respected for my mind!

(Panel 4. Wendy tries to size up Mimi.)

Wendy (Ignoring Mimi): Let's see here.... You look like a size 6...

Mimi: Well, I am, but...

(Panel 5. Wendy goes over to a rack of clothing.)

Wendy: You look more like a spring person.

Mimi: I really don't follow fashion that much...

(Panel 6. Wendy pulls out a pleasant light green dress with a miniskirt on it.)

Wendy: Here, give this a try.

Mimi: Hmm... All right.

 

(Page 7, panel 1. Mimi is now wearing the dress. It flatters her figure, but she does not seem happy wearing it.)

Caption (N): Later...

Wendy: There you go. See? It flatters your eyes.

Henrietta: Wow! You look great, Mimi.

Mimi: Well...

(Panel 2. Mimi looks at herself in a mirror.)

Mimi: I look like a streetwalker.

Henrietta: You do not, Mimi. You should be proud of your body.

(Panel 3. Mimi is face-to-face with Henrietta.)

Mimi: I'd rather people admire me for my mind.

Henrietta: You know, I don't think you've ever allowed yourself any time for yourself. It’s always doing something for everyone else.

(Panel 4. Mimi rolls her eyes at Henrietta.)

Mimi: Is it right to take things easy while others suffer? We were put here to help others.

Henrietta: Mimi, all work and no play makes Mimi a dull girl... Moreover, has bad health effects.

Wendy: She's got a point there.

(Panel 5. Mimi shakes her head.)

Mimi: Well, I guess I asked for this...

Henrietta: Oh, relax, Mimi. Wendy has some other outfits she wants you to try on.

(Panel 6. Mimi smiles slightly.)

Mimi: Well, I'll try to enjoy it...

 

(Page 8, panels 1-4. We see Mimi in four different dresses, all of which look good on her, but none of them seems to make her feel better. Panel 5. Mimi is attired in a nice blouse and a loose, short skirt.)

Caption (N): Later...

Mimi: Well, this isn't too bad... However, I still feel uncomfortable about this.

Henrietta: See? That wasn't so bad, was it? You look great, Mimi!

(Panel 6. Mimi looks at herself in a mirror.)

Mimi: Well... Not really...

 

(Page 9, panel 1. Generic pervert Haiwanto Ghetsum is standing outside the store, staring at Mimi.)

Haiwanto: Oh wow! That's one hot redhead in there! I just got to meet her!

(Panel 2. Haiwanto rushes up to Mimi. All this time she has had a sour look on her face, but now it's mixed with anger.)

Haiwanto: Hi, my name is Haiwanto Ghetsum and I just got to tell you that you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen!

Mimi: Haiwanto, It's me, Mimi Masters. Do you want to be turned into a newt again?

(Panel 3. Haiwanto is oblivious to Mimi's words.)

Haiwanto: That's such a pretty name for a pretty girl! I'd be in paradise if I could take you out on a date!

(Panel 4. Mimi raises a glowing hand to cast a spell, but Henrietta stops her.)

Mimi: That does it!

Henrietta: Mimi, Don't do it!

(Panel 5. Henrietta turns to Haiwanto as Mimi lowers her arm. Haiwanto looks despondent.)

Henrietta: Look you pervert, go away! We don't want you here!

Haiwanto: Oh, why are they always doing this to me?!

Mimi: Try showing a woman respect next time. Empty flattery will get you nowhere.

(Panel 6. Haiwanto exits.)

Haiwanto: Well, I know there's a pretty girl out there for me, and I'm going to find her!

Mimi: Good riddance.

 

(Page 10, panel 1. Suddenly a small explosion occurs near Mimi. She is thrown to one side. Mimi's skirt flies up, showing off her panties.)

SFX: Boom!

Caption (N): You know I couldn't let Mimi get away with wearing a loose, short skirt without at least one panty shot, right?

(Panel 2. Standing over the fallen Mimi is a large, mean looking humanoid demon.)

Demon: Mimi Masters, it is time for you to die!!

Mimi: Osblah...

(Panel 3. Mimi stands up, assuming an attack position.)

Mimi: I've had a bad enough day without you in it.

Osblah: A new look, but the same old arrogance, I see.

(Panel 4. Mimi readies a spell.)

Mimi: Some idiots have to learn the hard way.

(Panel 5. Go back to Cassee in the studio.)

Cassee: Wow! This is exciting, isn't it? Our sorceress heroine getting attacked by a nasty demon!

SFX (Next to Cassee's chest): Jiggle! Jiggle!

(Panel 6. Cassee continues to talk.)

Cassee: Well, we'll return to this scene right after these messages.

SFX (Next to Cassee's chest): Jiggle! Jiggle!

 

(Page 11, panel 1. We see from the Big-eyed players Katie Saccharine, and Chip Amiable. They are walking down a hallway.)

Katie: Hey Chip, how's it goin'?

Chip: It's going great! I'm gelling! Are you gelling?

(Panel 2. They continue to walk down the hall.)

Katie: You bet I'm gelling! It's great to gel!

(Panel 3. They come to a room where Trey Despondent is. He looks very angry.)

Trey: You miserable worms! I will crush you all!

(Panel 4. Chip and Katie look at each other.)

Chip: Not gelling.

Katie: Ooh, definitely not.

(Panel 5. Trey looks confused.)

Trey: Gelling? What are you talking about? I will squash you like bugs!

Chip: He needs to gel.

Katie: You bet.

(Panel 6. Chip and Katie walk away.)

Chip: Gel out, man. See the doctor.

Trey: Bah! This is useless!

(Panel 7. Chip and Katie are opposite Trey Despondent again.)

Caption (N): Later...

Katie: So Trey, you gelling yet?

Trey: Yes I'm gelling now...

(Panel 8. Trey Despondent smiles a sinister smile.)

Trey: I still want to kill you all... However, I'm going to do it with a smile on my face.

 

(Page 11, panel 1. Back in the Makeover surprise studio, we see Cassee there.)

Cassee: Welcome back makeover fans! We last left Mimi Masters being attacked by some icky demon. Let's see how se defeats it!

(Panel 2. Quagmire mall. In the central hallway, Mimi has an aura shield up as the demon hits it with a magical bolt.)

Osblah: I will destroy you!

SFX: ZAPT!

(Panel 3. Mimi hits Osblah in the chest with a magical missile.)

Mimi: You haven't been able to the last 15 times you've tried. What makes you think you can now?

(Panel 4. Henrietta tries to get the crew away from the scene.)

Henrietta: Come on, get out of here! This guy is dangerous!

(Panel 5. Osblah manages to slash Mimi's arm, tearing her dress and drawing blood.)

Osblah: You can't let loose with your powers here! You're too concerned with t e stupid innocent lives and property!

Mimi's thoughts: Dang! He's got me on that one! I can't give him a full blast- it would damage too much stuff around here!

SFX: Slash!

(Panel 6. Mimi thinks for a bit.)

Mimi's thoughts: There's got to be a way to- wait, that's it!

 

(Page 12, panel 1. Mimi teleports out of the place.)

Osblah: Turning chicken, Masters? You won't get away from me that easily!

(Panel 2. An empty section of the parking lot of Quagmire mall. Mimi teleports in.)

Mimi's thoughts: You're too arrogant not to follow me...

(Panel 3. Osblah teleports in.)

Osblah: running away from me? You should know better, Mimi.

Mimi: Got you now, demon.

(Panel 4. Several people from the mall teleport in.)

Osblah: You have underestimated me, Masters. An open area just means the victims have nothing to hide behind!

Mimi's thoughts: He's gotten smarter since I last ran into him! There's got to be a way to beat him...

(Panel 5. The people run, but slowly.)

Osblah: My, now how did they get cast with a spell of slowness?

Mimi's Thoughts: Now's my chance!

(Panel 6. Mimi strikes Osblah with a large magic missile Osblah is knocked down.)

Mimi: Don't think you've won until you have, Osblah.

SFX: Wham!

 

(Page 13, panel 1. Mimi is holding a vial of a clear liquid over Osblah.)

Mimi: Well, what do you know? I just happened to find this bottle of holy water...

(Panel 2. Mimi pours the holy water onto Osblah, and he bursts into flames.)

SFX: Woomph!

Osblah: Aaaah!

(Panel 3. Mimi puts the vial in a purse. Aloysius is now at her feet.)

Mimi: Thank you for getting my bag, Aloysius.

Aloysius: Any time, Mimi.

(Panel 4. Henrietta enters.)

Henrietta: Mimi!

Osblah: Curse you, Masters! I will return someday!

(Panel 5. Osblah vanishes.)

Henrietta: Are you hurt? You look like you're bleeding!

Mimi: Only my ego is crushed. Still, I guess I should have expected this.

(Panel 6. Mimi looks hopefully at Henrietta.)

Mimi: That wore me out a bit. Can we end this now?

Henrietta: I'm sure they'll understand.

 

(Page 14, panel 1. The Makeover Surprise studios. Cassee is standing there.)

Cassee: Well makeover fans, Mimi decided to take a breather after battling that icky demon. However, she agreed to come back and show us what the finished product looks like.

SFX (Next to Cassee's chest): Jiggle! Jiggle!

(Panel 2. Next to Cassee appears a picture of Mimi before, with the Puritan frock & granny glasses.)

Cassee: So this is her before...

SFX (Next to Cassee's chest): Jiggle! Jiggle!

(Panel 3. Mimi is standing next to Cassee. Mimi is dressed in a pleasant blue blouse and a green miniskirt. Gone are the granny glasses, and Mimi is smiling an insincere smile.)

Cassee: And here's what she looks like now.

SFX (Next to Cassee's chest): Jiggle! Jiggle!

(Panel 4. Mimi continues to smile insincerely. Cassee looks over at Mimi.)

Cassee (1): Well, you're looking hot there, Mimi.

Cassee (2): Not as hot as me, of course.

Mimi: At least I'm 100% natural.

SFX (Next to Cassee's chest): Jiggle! Jiggle!

(Panel 5. Cassee looks with anger at Mimi.)

Cassee: Well! Aren't you glad you had this makeover?

Mimi: It was nice... However, it's not something I'd do again.

SFX (Next to Cassee's chest): Jiggle! Jiggle!

(Panel 6. Mimi walks away from Cassee.)

Mimi: See you around.

SFX (Next to Cassee's chest): Jiggle! Jiggle!

 

(Page 15, panel 1. Cassee looks over at the camera.)

Cassee: That's gratitude for you. Well, stay tuned, makeover fans; we've got another one tomorrow. This gal is just as needy of a makeover as Mimi is.

SFX (Next to Cassee's chest): Jiggle! Jiggle!

(Panel 2. Just offstage, Mimi runs into Henrietta Porter.)

Henrietta: Mimi! How could you not like this?

Mimi: It's not my desire to have scores of guys after me. I don't want to be judged by my looks, just how well I get the job done.

(Panel 3. Mimi pulls a sour face.)

Henrietta: I think you've been the warrior sorceress for so long you've forgotten what it's like to be a woman.

Mimi (1): I have not forgotten what it's like to be a woman.

Mimi (2): I get reminded every month.

(Panel 3. Henrietta shakes her head.)

Henrietta: That's not what I mean, Mimi. I'm talking about being a woman and doing woman things. Don't you like guys?

Mimi: I don't need a man in my life now.

(Panel 4. Mimi waves her hand, and gets engulfed in a white light. Panel 5. Mimi is now back in her Puritan frock and granny glasses.)

Mimi: You can't change a leopard's spots.

Henrietta: O.k....

(Panel 6. Focus on Henrietta's face.)

Henrietta: Well, if you don't want the dress, can I have it?

 

-End-