 |
|
|
|
|
Joke
SMS
1. How do u recognize a sardar in
school? They r the ones who erase their notebooks when the
teacher erases the blackboard.
Bolo Tararara !!
2. Ek ladki thi diwani C.
Mobile lekar ghoomti thi.
Sharma ke ghabra ke woh kuch karti rahti thi.
Jab bhi milti thi mujhse, hamesha puchti thi, yeh ON kaise hota
hai.
3. Foreigner Santa to Indian Banta: Hamare yahan to shaadi
E-Mail se hoti hai.
Banta replies: Par hamare yahan to Female se hoti hai.
4. Biwi ka antim sanskar karke ek admi ghar ja raha tha
ki bijli chamki, baadal garje, jor se baarish hui.
Admi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gayi.
5. Girlfreind is beauty n wife is duty,
GF is springroll n wife is dabbagol,
GF is chuski n wife is risky,
GF is tootyfrooty n wife is kismat footy.
6. Machhar song-bhige hoth tere, pyaasa Dank mera. Lage Amrit sa
mujhe khun tera.
Kabhi mere saath koi raat gujar.
Tujhe subah tak suja du yaar. o-o-o.
7. When Words fail...Eyes work,
When Eyes fail.... Heart works,
but When Heart fails....
To Kya ? ?
Samajh Le Tapak gaya MAAMU.....!
8. Sardar sote waqt 2 glass rakhte hain. Ek main paani aur ek
Khaali. Why.
socho
|
|
socho
|
|
aur socho
|
kyunki pyas lag bhi sakti hai aur nahi bhi.. (..)
9. Doctor to Saradar: Aapka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi
hai ? Sardar: Hoga jaroor hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi
hai......
10. Ek aadmi Sadhu se bola, meri G'Friend bahut pareshan karti
hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu bola, mere paas upay hota to mai
sadhu kyun banta ?
11. Somebody asked Sardarji "Akal badi ki bhains ?" Sardarji
thodi der sochne ke baad "Pehle dono ki Date o Birth bata.
12. Like energy love can neither be created nor destroyed... It
can just be transferred from one girlfriend 2 another !
13. YOUNG guy prayer 2 GOD: "RADHE RADHE- Kudi fasade HARE
MURARI hove kunvari. JAI HANUMAN DI hove sade haan di. JAI KALI
hove paisa wali.
14. Can I stay at ur home for a few days until things calm down?
Sender
SADDAM HUSSAIN
+448329673244
Just kidding. Its me
Sender:
Osama
+02227878787
Sender:
Sawan
+919414322262
15. How a Sardar will kill Lion? He will drink the Poison and
let Lion eat him. Bolo TA RA RA RA
16. Marriage is like going to a restaurant... You order your
choice from the menu, and then look at the neighbouring table
and wish you'd ordered that....
17. BRUCE LEE's Favourites
Vegetables:MU-LEE
Breakfast:ID-LEE
Festival:DIWA-LEE
Actress:SONA-LEE
Music:QAWA-LEE
Film:COO-LEE
Animal:BILL-LEE
Timepass:KHUJLEE
18. Maryada purshotam Bhagvan Shri Ram ko LANKA pe attack karne
hetu 500 BANDER chahiye, 499 pahuch gaye. SMS Milte he niklo.
JAI SRIRAM
19. **FREE STAY**
**FREE LUNCH**
FREE BREAKFAST
* FREE DINNER *
FREE SECURITY
TO AVAIL THIS PACKAGE PLEASE DIAL 100 and say "du kya kaan ke
neeche"
20. When i was sad u were there, when i was heartbroken u were
there, ven i was lonely u were der, ven my life was amiss u were
der, By GOD BADE MANHOOS ho tum.
21. Lohe ko loha kaatta hai, sone ko sona kaatta hai, zahar ko
zahar kaatta hai, isliye terako kutta katega...
22. Apke sar pe seeng hai kya?
dekho to
phir se dekh to
Nahi hai ? ..
sachmuch nahi hai?
koi baat nahi GADHE ke bhi nahi hote..
23. TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,RASGULLE ki pl8 ho, PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho, JALEBI ki tarah stra8
ho, KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!
24. Apko kya pata hum aapko kitne yaad karte hian..har pal
tumhari fariyad karte hain..roj khat likhte hian cartoon network
ko..aapko dikhane ki mang karte hain..
25. Ghandhi ji bhi nahin rahe, Nehru ji bhi chale gaye, Subhash
ji bhi gujar gaye, MERI BHI TABIYAT KUCH THIK NAHI REHTI... Is
desh ka kya hoga ???
26. Agar duniya me kucch kar ke dikhana hai to sun meri baat;
Haathi ke upar shirshasan kar aur photu khinchva. Ab, us photo
ko ulta latka aur duniya ko dikha.
27. Hasti thi hasaati thi, Baalon ko lehrati thi, kuch soch kar
sharmati thi, phir kuch soch ke muskurati thi....AAJ PATA CHALA
- SALI PAGAL THI !!! .....
28. Chand pe Kaali Ghata Chai to hogi, Sitaron ko bhi Muskurahat
Aaee to hogi, Tum Lakh Chupao Dunia se, magar Akele me tumhe
apni shakal pe hansi aaee to hogi...
29. A fat girl is waiting for bus. How wud u call her in one
word? MOTIVATING!!!
30. Jindagi behal hai, sur hai na taal hai, vicharo ki kya
hadtaal hai, SMS box kangal hai, ek sms bhej de, meri mobile ki
jindagi ka sawal hai.
31. Q. What is the meaning of "a b c d e f g"? A. A Boy Can Do
Everything For Girl.
32. When u were a child, u played with toys, now u r a lady u
play with boys.
33. Exam are like a G'Friend
a. Too many ques.
b. Difficult to understand
c. More explanation is needed
d. Result always 'fail'.
34. Aaj-didar, Kal-yaar, Parso-pyar, phir-ikrar, phir-intzar,
phir-takrar, phir-darar, saari mehnat- bekar aur aakhir mein- EK
AUR DEVDAS.
35. Kya ankhen hai, Kya baate hai, Kya chehra tumne paya
hai..Aisa lagta hai jaise.... Jaise...Jaise Peepal ke ped se
BHOOT utar ke aaya hai.
36. Din ko Chain Nahi, Raat Ko Aaram Nahi, Ji Na Lage Kahi, E
Khuda Kya Yehi Pyar Hai? STUPID Ye Pyar Nahi Summer Ki Garmi Hai,
Ja Jake naha le.
37. Jab tum aine ke paas jate ho to aina kehta hai beautiful
beautiful" aur jab tum aine se dur jate ho to aina kahata hai "
aprilfool, aprilfool "
38. Apun dodo mein; SMART Kaun?GOOD LOOKING Kaun?CHARMING
Kaun?DASHING Kaun?FAMOUS Kaun?Woh tum tou nahi ho phir bacha
kaun?APUN.HAPPY FOOLS DAY.BYE.
39. what is a similarity b/w mobile & marrige "kash thode din
ruk jaata to achha model mil jaata..!
40. All flowers dont represent love but rose did it. All animals
cannot speak but parrot did it. all donkeys cannot read but u
did it!
41. Love easy 2 say, difficult 2 feel, difficult 2 deal,
difficulty is a part of life, thats y girlfriend is never be a
wife.
42. Bahut door rehkar bhi dil ke paas lagte ho, nazaron se door
rahkar bhi khas lagte ho, doosron ke diye SMS bhejte ho aur khud
ko bahut SMART samajhte ho?
43. SINCERE
APOLOGY
If u donr
like
my msggs..
And my
forwards..
And dont
like 2
reply or
msg me..
Feel free
to..
Throw ur
mobile !!!!!
44. Jaat riding a cycle, hits a Girl.
Girl:Ghanti nahin mari jaati kya?
Jaat: Re bawli ?!! Poori cycle maar di, aab ghanti
alag se maaru ke ?
45. Mere marne ke baad mere doston,
yu aansoo na bahana,
meri earthi ko sahara na dena,
Agar meri yaad aaye to,
sidhe upar chale aana.
DONO AISH KARENGE
46. Suraj Hua Madham , chand bhi chalne laga, mein thehra raha,
zamin chalne lagi, sajna kya yehi pyaar hai ?? Nalayak, yeh pyar
nahi EARTHQUAKE hai ! BHAAG
47. In a pond there r 10 fishes, one dies, and the water level
increases-how? how? abe kuck to soch The other 9 fishes r
crying.
48. Mayawati came 2 lalu's home with a Goat. Lalu ask:is bhes ko
me Ghar kyo layi?Maya:dikhta nahi,bakri hai! Lalu: Hum bakri se
puch raha hun!
49. Tumko dekha to ye khayal aaya, tumko dekha to ye khayal aaya
pagalo ke stock mein naya MAAL aaya ... Ha.. Ha..
50. Defination of a lecturer:- A person who has bad habit of
talking while someone is sleeping.
51. Sharab bani to mehkhane bane, husn bana to diwane bane; kuch
to baat hai aapme, yun hi nahi pagal khane bane.
52. WHAT will u call Train full of good lukin girls ??..
guess..
*
*
Yaar, it's very Simple...
___MaalGaadi___
53. SARDAR invested 2 lakhs in a business and suffered huge
loss. Do u know what was the business?..He opened a saloon in
Punjab.
54. Kaunsi devi ka kaunsa prasad India main famus hai? : RAABDI
DEVI ka LALU PRASHAD
55. Only
Once
In Your
LIFE
You
Will
Get a
RIGHT PERSON
With whom
You will
Get MARRIED.
... So till then...
Keep enjoying with the...
...WRONG ONES....
56. The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an
accident. Please report to your nearest hospital to be put down.
We apologize for any inconvenience.
57. Habit never goes, bcoz if u remov H, A-BIT remain, if u
remov A, BIT remain & if u remov B, IT Still remain. So my habit
of remembering u will never change....
58. I wanted 2 kill the SWEETEST SMARTEST & the most beautiful
person on the earth, but then i thought..... SUICIDE is a
CRIME..!
59. "Sms ka Sangrah karke kya payega vats... ?
Balance ka moh chhod aur Sms kar...
Mitro se sampark banaye rakhne me he Swarg ki prapti hai..."
-Swami Messagenand
60. Unki gali se guzre..ajeeb ittefaq tha
Unki gali se guzre..ajeeb ittefaq tha
Unho ne phool phenka..gamla bhi saath tha
61. Banta and Santa fed up of mobile, decide to use pigeon. 1
day pigeon reach Banta without msg. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa says-Dhakan dis was a missed call.
62. Gita Saar: SMS kar or bhulja, reply ki apeksha mat kar. Kiya
gaya SMS vyarth nahi jata. sabko apne kiye ki Report milti hai.
Ise sewa samajh aur forward kar.
63. Long time ago
only idiots used
to read my sms.
And today,
the History
continues.........
64. Arz kiya hai: I am a dog and u r a flower, gaur farmaiega I
am a dog and u r a flower so let me lift my leg n give u a
shower. Wah-Wah
65. "Log kehte hain ki ladkiyan zindagi hoti hain maut nahi,
magar woh log ueh kyon bhool jaate hain ki dhoka bhi zindagi hi
deti hai maut nahi."
66. Unki gali ke chakar kathay kathay, kutte tumare yaar ho gaye,
wo to tumhare ho na sake, TUM KUTTO KE SARDAR HO GAYE.
67. u
r
someone i
don't
want
to
loose..
u
r
someone
i
won't
forget..
u
r
someone
who
is
special
to
me..
and
u
r
Ummm..
WHAT'S UR
NAME...
68. A baniya on his death bed: my wife r u here? Yes my husband.
My son, my daughter r u here? Yes papa - Abey Kambakhton phir
Dukan pe kaun hai...
69. Agar aapke ghar ke paas ek ladki ho, vo khubsurat ho, aapko
pasand karti ho, aapko ishare karke bulati ho, to mat jaana
kyunki uske liye 'MAIN HOON NA'
70. If UR World is spinning ROUND n ROUND and .....
UR heart is beating FAST,
Do U think its LOVE?
Na Munna Na it's called HIGH BP
71. Shahjahan ne Taj Mahal ki har deewar ko dekha, har meenar ko
dekha, har kaleen ko dekha, har dar aur kdhidki ko dekha aur
bola... Maa kasam 'Bahut kharcha hogaya'
72. Smart Male + Smart Nari = AFFAIR JARI
Bevkoof Male + Smart Nari = JEB JHALI
Smart Male + Bevkoof Nari = PAAV BHARI
Bevkoof Male + Bevoof Nari = SHAADI
73. IF U FORGET ME THEN
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32.....
I'll break all 32 teeth of yours...
74. Hitlar bhi chala gaya, saddam bhi pakada gaya, laden ka bhi
pata nahi, teri bhi tabiyat thik nahi reheti, lagata hai dharti
par SATYUG aane wala hai...
75. Ek Family SHOLAY Dekh KE Aayi Aur Pati Patni Se Romantically
Bola "Nach Bsanti Nach." Child added: "Mummy! is kutte Ke Samne
Mat Nachna.".
76. An Indian surgeon tells a patient: The operation will cost
twenty thousand, but we can save a little by not sharpening the
knife.
77. "Hello is that the hospital? My wifes in labour."
Hosp: Is this her first baby?
"No this is her husband."
78. How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb? None.
They would wait for a suitable donor and do a filament
transplant.
79. The Human Brain is most Outstanding Thing...It functions 24
hrs 365 days... It functions right from the Time u r Born...
Until you fall in love.
80. Srdr: I haven't slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper bberth.
Frnd: U didn't u Xchanged?
Srdr: Oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth...
81. Jack N Jill in Laloo Style:- Jackwa aur jilwa gayil uphar d
hill, paniya bharil ke vaste, jackwa gir gail, uka khopdi fut
gayil, aur jilwa aawat ludkan pure raaste!
82. Judge:Is Sardar ke dono kan kat do.
Sardar: Nahi mai andha ho jaunga.
Judge: Bewkoof kan katne se andha kaise hoga?
Sardar: Phir mai chashma kaise pehnonga.
83. Beta 2 sardar: Papa aaj main bus ke piche daud ke ghar aaya,
jisse maine 3Rs bachaye. Sardar: Oye kar dina sadaro waligal,
auto ke piche aata to 30Rs bachte.
84. A4 apple, B4 bada apple, C4 chota apple, D4 dusra apple, E4
ek aur apple, F4 fokat ka apple, G4 gol apple, H4 ho gaya na pet
kharab khake itne apple!
85. Sardar found answer to most difficult question question ever
-
What comes first - the chicken or the egg ?
O yaar, jiska order pahele dooge, vo ayega !!!
86. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE? Ek bigadti hai
to bandh ho jati hai...... Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho
jati hai
87. Sardar gave a lotus to Priyanka Gandhi to impress her. In
return, she slapped him. He asked, why? She said: U gave me BJP
symbol, so I gave u congress symbol.
88. Lady 2 Inspector Lady: Ji mera pati 5 din phle gobi lene
gaya tha abitak vapis nai aaya! Inspector(Sardar) replied: To
fir or koi sabji bana lo!
89. Boy 2 his friend: I kept sending a love letter everyday for
3 years! Friend; Then what happened? Boy : She married the
postman!
90. Why is the male intelligence worth more than the female? It
is rare.
91. The world's thinnest book has only 1 word written in it:
"NOTHING" & the book is titled "WHAT DO MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN".
91. Do u know FULL FORM of "DAIRYMILK" ? "Darling Always I
Remember You, Meet Immediately 4 a Long Kiss." That's why GIRLS
ask 4 DAIRYMILK
93. Hurry Up... STOP Them. A 2 seater plane crashed in a
graveyard in punjab today. Local sardars hav so far found 280
bodies & r still digging.
94. SMS SMS SMS SMS SMS SMS SMS SMS SMS SMS SMS SMS SMS SMS SMS
SMS SMS SMS Dekha, kitne dher sare SMSes bheje.... Kuch sikho
mujse !
95. Reply Reply Reply Reply Reply Reply Reply Reply Reply Reply
Reply Reply Reply Reply dekha kitne sare reply diye.
96. Between grand theft & a legal fee, there only stands a law
degree. |
|
|
