Sunday 28th September: The Duror Sixes at Duror Village
Our third invite to the Duror Sixes, a village between Oban and Fort William, was duly accepted and five players made the journey.
As in the Cooper Cup we decided to arrive with a player less than required but there's always a local to make up the numbers.
There were eight teams invited but only seven showed up and we drawn against Duror Old Team, Duror Young Team and a scratch team who made up the numbers.
We'd travelled through Glencoe ("The scenery is just magic, by the way", yes, Nippy was with us) in the rain and it was drizzling as we started our first game against Duror Old Team.
We borrowed John, a young keeper, and he fitted into our team of Jazza, Nippy, Arfur, Big Tam and Mister Campbell.
The games were seven and a half minutes a half and after the first seven and a half minutes we were 4-0 down and hadn't kicked a ball.
Oh well, not to worry, we were shooting downhill in the second half and BIG TAM pulled a goal back, then JAZZA headed home followed by NIPPY to make it 4-3 and all the pressure was ours.
With a couple of minutes to go Jazza was fouled to give us a penalty and up stepped Arthur (notice his name isn't in capitals just to give you a clue as to what happened next) to see his shot saved. Well, to be fair to the keeper the shot was straight at him.
Tam hit the post in the dying seconds then Nippy hit the side netting as we lost the game but earned the respect of the watching crowd, Dolly and Molly the sheep.
After a quick refreshment at the bar it was on against the Duror Young Team who whipped us 5-0 after we borrowed Mike from the Duror old yins to play in goals.
With Arfur off penalty duties it was down to Jazza to miss his kick at 5-0 down, not as important a miss as Arfur's mind you.
The last group game was against the scratch team and they beat us 3-0 as we finished bottom of the group with Mister Campbell distraught about his lack of ability (something he's known for the last forty years), but that was as a defender.
We progressed into the Wooden Spoon game against a Rab MacDonald less Appin side who had also lost all their games.
Well, would you Adam and Eve it, did we not go and win 5-0 and Mister Campbell scored three of the goals, see what happens when he plays us front !!!
It was five a side for this game so Nippy went in goals and we went a goal ahead when Jazza's mazy run and cut back was expertly volleyed home by MISTER CAMPBELL in front of goals.
Suddenly it was 2-0 as JAZZA easily scored past the keeper who had been in goals against us in May when we drew 6-6 with Appin at elevens.
Into the second half and a long throw by Nippy saw MISTER CAMPBELL turn and shoot low into the bottom corner for his second.
Next JAZZA got his second before a one touch passing move between skipper and Manager saw MISTER CAMPBELL again find the net for his hat-trick.
Pass the smelling salts, matron !!
There was also time for Nippy to make a great penalty save to give him, and the team, a shut out.
Of course the fact that Appin had a fourteen year old boy, a fourteen year old girl, a guy who turned up to watch and a goalkeeper in a straight jacket in their team would only spoil a good story !
Unfortunately only one game to go and it was against another scratch team for fifth and sixth place.
Again MISTER CAMPBELL did the business with another turn and shot into the corner to put us ahead and, after conceeding an equaliser, the Gaffer's wonderful control of a high ball forced an opponent to shoot past his own keeper to put us back in front again.
It was end to end stuff and, after going behind, JAZZA popped up to score to make it 3-3.
A great first time ball from the Manager found Tam but his superb volley hit the underside of the bar and away to safety.
With penalties looming we lost a late goal to finish sixth but we had at least restored some pride in our last two games.
After the presentations there was a raffle where Mister Campbell won four prizes, one for each goal he scored, and, as a consolation, Arfur managed to win something at last, a week's holiday on a farm milking the herd of two hundred and fifty dairy cows.
We all stayed the night in Duror and a huge thanks to Donald Campbell and Ian McEachran for providing the accomodation, and a big thanks to Duror's Ally McLeod for his invite and his organising.
Obviously the weekend will only be remembered for one thing, Arthur's lack of ability in front of goal. He was the only player not to get a goal and, to be honest, his play never deserved any better.
Maybe he should stay off the booze and take a good look at himself. After all if Mister Campbell can do it maybe he can.
Mind you, Mister Campbell's goals were all about natural ability and instinct and you just can't teach that, I mean five shots at goal and four goals, as good a scoring rate as you could hope for............(continued on page 95)
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