�I think you�ve done enough damage already,� snapped the irritated blonde.
I bent anyway to gather the scattered papers, the spilled contents of her small leather purse, the sidearm.
�Gun?�
As she snatched it away from me, one of her fingernails sliced the edge of my left thumb. I automatically
popped the wounded digit into my mouth. The woman paused in her frantic gathering to eye me hunched before
her on one knee, sucking my thumb. Trying not to smile, she cleared her throat and asked, �What�s wrong?�
I showed her. There had been little blood to begin with, now she saw only a red line beneath a flap of
white skin and a lot of saliva. �Whaddaya file your nails with? A knife sharpener?�
�Here,� she said, grasping my hand while she dumped her purse out on the tile floor once more. �This�ll
do. Nice Band-Aid. I always come prepared.�
I helped myself to her thoughts while she dressed my minor injury. She was curious of who I was, what
business I had here, noting I did not sport a wedding band, but still irritated I�d accidentally run into her and
knocked her down trying to navigate an unfamiliar intersection in the hallway. �Hi. I�m Alex Roglitz.� I had
already applied my most sincere and charming smile by the time she glanced up at my face.
She took my unmarred hand and pumped it firmly without being obnoxious about it like some women who
try too hard to get across the impression they think themselves equal to any man. �Dory Perandah.�
I purposely held her hand, gazing directly into her eyes, letting her know I was interested, but releasing
her before she became alarmed. �Ms. Perandah, I am really very sorry about this. I�m supposed to report here,� I
told her, showing her the square of yellow paper I�d been handed by the receptionist at the front of the building.
She leaned close enough to me to read the writing, close enough for me to smell her clean fragrance of deodorant,
soap and the shampoo she�d last used on her short, feathered hair. �I guess I should�ve been paying more attention
to where I was going and not the attractive woman heading toward me down the hallway.�
She grinned a little, sliding her lower jaw around and narrowing one eye to indicate she knew what I was
up to. �Uh, huh. You�ve got to be careful around here, Roglitz. At any moment someone in uniform or even an
alien could come flying around a corner...are you alright?�
I�d felt myself pale at the mention of aliens and stood to avoid her scrutiny. �Oh, sure,� I told her, offering
a hand to assist her to her feet. She hesitated, then chose to accept, much to my delight. I liked the way she�d called
me by my last name and not Alex or Mr. Roglitz. She was fiercely independent, yet willing to play along with
friendly flirting with a stranger in the hall. �I just came to see my friend, Mikey Smirkle.�
�Mikey,� she repeated, amused. �You don�t have to drop names to try and impress me.� She turned to her
left. �That�s his office just down there.�
�I know.�
Her brow wrinkled.
�Knock, knock�get the Dory!� blurted a tallish man as he raced up behind the woman and lifted her
briefly, setting her down quickly before she kicked him in the shin or groin.
�Lay off, Geiko! I�ve warned you before-�
He encompassed her from behind in an affectionate bear hug and even kissed the side of her head. �I love
my kitten,� he told me, jealous inquisitiveness oozing from every inch of him. Her temper flared hotter, but the
man escaped before she could elbow him in the ribs. �New partner!� he called to her as he darted off past a group
of science-types in white lab coats.
�That�, she seethed, staring after him as he dodged through a doorway, �is why I carry the handgun. Just
kidding,� she added, offering me a forced grin. �You look pissed. Everything okay with you?�
�I�m uh,� I grunted, clearing my throat embarrassedly, �fine.� I�d unconsciously been displaying her
anger with the jerk upon my face. �He works here?�
She sighed and pulled me out of the way of the oncoming pod of scientists. �He and I are the Quasar
Force. Thank God we never actually have to work with each other.� She glanced down at her armload of papers
and such. �I think I got everything. I�ve got work to do. Nice to meet you, Alex Roglitz.�
I accepted the hand she offered and shook it briefly so she could flee. �Likewise,� I told her, then turned to
watch her ass as she hurried on along the hallway.
�I see you�ve met Dorreen.�
I whipped my head around and startled at the uncomfortably close proximity of the man. �Shee-zus!
Where�d you come from?�
�This way,� he said, gesturing for me to follow. �It�s time to introduce you to your first partner.� I trailed
him through the doorway the man called Geiko had entered. �You completed the reading I assigned you?�
�Sure,� I lied.
�Great. I don�t want the Quasars to startle you.� We�d entered a large grey-painted chamber broken by
curtained partitions like you might see in a hospital emergency room. There was a tiny office cubicle immediately
to the right, and a second doorway to the distant left with a sign with words painted on it in red demanding silence
of any who passed beyond that point. �We call this the Quasar Release Lab. This is where you�ll come whenever
you�re due for a new Quasar partner. This is Dr. Johnathan Happenstance.�
I reached up to shake the hand of the largest human male I had ever met in my entire life. �Hullo, Doc.�
�And this is Dr. Warren Sanders, one of the heads of the Quasar Department.�
And here was the smallest human male I�d ever met in my life. Not only that, but his unusual skin and
hair coloration gave no clue whatsoever to the race or races which might have created him. �Hi,� I said meekly.
The dwarfish doctor handed me a black plastic box with a clear plastic cover on it through which I could
see a single, red button. �This is the summoning device you will use when you need your Quasar in an emergency,
Officer Roglitz.� I grinned at the use of an official title before my name. �You merely flip up the cover, then hold
the button down for approximately three seconds. This design is practically obsolete, however. We�ve already
contacted Capricorn traders about getting a better one. A faster one.�
Capricorns. I remembered them from the watercolor illustration in the handbook I was supposed to�ve
read and not merely flipped through while sitting on the toilet. Big, ugly, rubbery-hairy man-goat-dolphin looking
things. Like something Doc Frankenstein might�ve invented as a child after vacationing at SeaWorld.
�You okay?� inquired Dr. Happenstance, trying to interpret my facial expression. �You just went awfully
pale awfully fast.�
Michael patted my shoulder. �Allergies. Right, Alex?�
I coughed weakly.
Unimpressed with me thus far, the one called Sanders went ahead and called for my partner to be brought
in. The jerk from the hall, Geiko, emerged slowly from behind a partition while aiming an odd-looking hand-held
device at the figure who sleepwalked after him in slow motion. The guy grinned broadly at me, then flipped down
a toggle on his electronic toy. The slender black man with the wildly puffed hair opened his huge brown eyes. They
were the only thing which looked solid amidst a human-shaped shadow of darkness. I felt my flesh prickle as my
breath caught in my throat. Geiko bent to retrieve from the floor a sort of metallic ring which had followed him,
constantly surrounding the silently shuffling big feet of the living wraith.
�Heeeeerre�ss...� Geiko began.
�Giles,� read Sanders from a clipboard. �Quasar 21.�
�Giles!� the solid man repeated enthusiastically, stepping back to present the spectre with a dramatic
flourish.
I took a step backward from the tall, eerie, phantasmagoric figure looming near me, yet remained
compelled by a horrified fascination to stare at it. The body was so transparent, I almost swore I could see the very
fleshly-looking eyeballs rolling within their insubstantial sockets. Where light failed to strike him, the man was
black as silhouette, and light hardly had a thing to contact and bounce off of at all. Those eyes...fathomless, dull,
the whites yellowed and mapped with disturbingly intense red blood vessels...the way light glittered wetly off them
from just behind the filmy eyelids....
Michael barked, �Snap out of it, man! It�s just a Quasar! A sleeping human being! He�s already been
programmed to follow your orders. There�s nothing to be afraid of!�
I stammered as I kept backing up, �F-f-fuckin� g-g-ghost!�
Geiko snorted laughter. �That�s what I thought it was my first time, too! G-g-ghost!�
�Haines...� warned Smirkle.
Sanders stalked after me. �Didn�t you read up on our program? Had you no idea what you were going to
be presented with today?�
�G-well, I-I-�
�Didn�t. Brilliant, Michael. What kind of a boob have you found for us this time?�
Geiko pondered aloud, �Is that an insult?�
When the lights suddenly flickered and failed, I yelped, unable to see the standing nightmare any longer.
�Damn heatwave!� I heard the littlest man roar in exasperation. �Damn blackouts!�
Emergency lights picked out the doorways. The sudden thrum of restarting equipment around us startled
me.
�The generators have it,� Happenstance observed, little more than teeth and the whites of eyes in a lab
coat himself.
While everyone around me fussed about the power, I noted a dimmer shade of darkness achieving
animation. �M-m-mike?�
�Alex?� he sighed, displeased with my performance thus far.
I grabbed him and turned him toward the lanky, moving shadow.
�Dr. Sanders!� he blurted.
�Use the caller!� shouted the diminutive doctor.
I was too panicked, too fascinated to realize he was speaking to me. The wraith, in near-dark, appeared to
be smoke supporting ping-pong balls heading toward the nearest lightsource. Geiko snatched the plastic box from
my fingers, managed to break the lid off, then squashed the button while we watched the phantasm rise and
dissipate in the meager glow of one of the dusty emergency lamps, the spooky eyes vanishing last as twin puffs of
faintly glowing mist. A dry shiver shook my spine. �Ho-ly shit....�
Dr. Sanders slammed the side of the metal cart beside him with his fist. �Great job, men. Really.
Superlative. Everyone.�
Swallowing, I turned to tell him, �Look, I�m sorry-�
�Happens all the time,� Geiko assured me, placing an arm about my neck like we were old chums.
�Shut up!� barked Michael, agitated.
The guy left me to toss the broken summoning device to John, then marched for the exit.
�Fire him,� Sanders snarled. �I�ve never liked that one. Have you heard what he allegedly does with the
Quasars we�ve assigned him?�
Mike raised a hand. �I don�t want to know.�
I stood amidst them, antsy, wishing I�d followed the other guy.
�Any other bodies ready?� asked my old friend and new boss.
�No, damnit. No warm ones anyway. I...I can get back to you in another week or two.�
�That�s fine, Warren. I know we�ll be better prepared by then.� Mike gazed meaningfully over at me. I
shrugged, aware another attempt at apology would fix nothing.
Once we were back in the hallway, I tried, �Mike, I am really-�
�Yeah, sure, Alex. Thanks a lot.�
I stopped. �That Dr. Sanders has been having a bad day already, and he-�
�Ah! You read his mind!�
He kept walking. I said, �Well, of course-�
�You won�t always be able to rely on that, you know,� he grunted, heading for his office.
I started after him again, finding the hallways particularly creepy poorly lit. �Oh, I see. Your day hasn�t
exactly been all beer and pretzels, either.�
�Knock it off!� At a loss for a snappy comeback, I hesitated while the man paused before his office door.
�Look...it wasn�t your fault. Your reaction wasn�t unusual. Yes, it�s been a bit of a rough day.... Please go over all
the materials I gave to you. And work on that alien-thing. Every time someone mentions a zodiac sign, you go
spacey on us�excuse the pun.� He turned his back to me and pushed into his domain.
�So...I�m not fired?�
I heard him call, �Happens all the time.�
The disturbing thing was, when the figure had met the emergency light mounted high up on the wall of
the release lab, I�d sensed a brief, but intense flicker of bliss followed by absolute nothingness...something I�d
sensed before and recognized psychically as death. A man had actually died back there...right in front of me! And
while the others had not been happy with the turn of events overall, I was the one the most upset about this.
Happens all the time? As I turned and hurriedly made my way back toward the main entrance, I knew I would
never last long at ArtReal.
