| Journal Quilt Project 2003 |
| The call. Sad, panic. Hoping Grama is ok. Wishing she is ok, but knowing it�s coming. Shes so strong, but weak. Thinking she is never leaving us. But knowing someday�.Seeing her there, scared and helpless, but strong, always strong. The light of our life. Thinking about what she is to me. Like no one else on this earth. The bubble baths, the nail painting, the make up. The hugs, the comfort. The Roses the hummingbirds. The Chow Mein, the toast and eggs. The yard swing and talks. The walks to the store. The safe feelings like no where else in my life�� then being there, telling her not to be scared. Totally surreal. July 14th, 2003. She�s gone. I can�t believe she�s gone� She�s not gone from me. I don�t want her gone�.. |
| Angry. Angry at everyone. Hot and angry. She�s gone. She�s never gone. She�s always there, she has to be there. I don�t want her gone. I don�t want to go through the feelings I am going through. But they are mine, and no one else�s. Don�t tell me what I feel. I don�t care what you feel, I can�t care. I can�t do anything for you�.Everything is too much. Thinking is too much. Feeling is too much. Leave me alone. |
| She�s really gone. Things are settling in. I want her feeling with me all the time. No one can give that to me. It�s sad, I�m sad, I will always be sad. Realization. I hate it. My family will never be the same. I will never be the same. The last three months did not follow my original Journaling idea. July changed my life. I needed to show that. Things in life don�t stay the same. Now they will never be the same |
| July |
| August |
| September |
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| Elizabeth (Betty) Emaline Bigelow Randall August 2, 1927-July 14, 2003 |
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