ODE TO THE GUN PLUMBERS
By Unknown.
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They were present at agincourt, excelled at waterloo, served with distinction at Rourkes Drift, trod in the mud in the Somme, indispensable to the battle of Britain and the Falklands War. Their feats were legend, their strength and endurance amaze normal men, they like strong beverages and women, and lots of both. They curse long and hard using words not found in any dictionary. Their capacity for trouble is surpassed only by such an air of innocence when caught that butter wouldn't melt in their mouths. Not for them the air-conditioned comforts of the fairies empire nor the snug life. They thrive in the open air. When snow lies heavy on the ground and the wind blows fierce from the south, they bare their chests, laugh and dare the gods to do their worst. Who are these mighty men? They are the Armourers. To recognise these superhumans: they blink in daylight from being nurtured as mushrooms, after a fracas the last man standing and smiling is an Armourer, and six hours after the exercise is finished the Armourer works on. Affectionately know as "Gun Plumbers", they are the butt of many a joke:" Preserve life, pickle a Plumber". They are above such jibs, and smile tolerantly as they kick the living hell out of the hapless sod who made the joke. A word of advice for the mere mortals: if you see an Armourer running, run like hell with him. |