This is a translation of Woo Hyuk's story, which is believed to be true. I believe it is true; I want it to be the truth. Please read the full story if you are one of H.O.T's fan, it is filled with emotion and the history of how legendary group came to be what it is now. This was posted in Soompi's Music Forum by Hee-jun luver. Thank-you very much. It lets us fully appreciate the five people who have worked so hard to bring music to us under different perspectives and revolutionize music, bring it into a different light. We will, indeed, never forget them.
(I have changed some wordings and other grammatical errors, but kept the original meaning.
Woo Hyuk's Story
I was brought to Seoul, after winning a dance competition,
feeling scared. After many auditions and selections, including me, only five
were left. I was asked to stay in the company's hostel with another guy named
TONY.
In the beginning, during the debut times, it was very tough and tiring. Everyday, we have to practice for 12-16 hours, which caused pain in my shoulders whenever I dance . Sometimes, we were so tired that we can't even stand up. Despite that, excitement took over everything. Whenever we see other singers performing on t.v., winning flowers and rounds of applause, we would all ask: "when can we do that ?" But this quickly happened when our debut CD was released. We finally got our own fans. The moments of snatching the letters from fans, I can still remember very clearly!
But these are all from god . God is fair , he gives happiness
and sadness at the same time. From the 2nd album onwards, we faced songs being
banned; lots of sadness... Being rejected by some ppl, got scolded, etc., but we
still had lots of fans supporting us!! No matter what, we were slowly becoming
popular.
From third album onwards, we made drastic changes, doesn't matter whether it is
in terms of music or styles, we were changed. And because of the desire to
change, we suffered . I lost 4kg within one month, and TONY even lost 8 kg ! The
worst part was, at the critical moment, TONY suffered from [probably depression]
(translator didn't know what he/she was talking about) under stresses. He wanted
to give up, thinking that H.O.T would do well with or without him . And he often
passed out due to nervousness and pressure. At that moment, the duty of taking
care of him fell on me!
I listened to him everyday, consoled him, though I know what
I did was nothing. I knew that this was important to one who felt helpless.
Because of that, we felt we had something in common. I was surprised too about
being able to feel the affinity with him when both our interests varied so
widely. For those days, I would like to thank HEE JUN; if it weren't for
him, I think I might have collapsed. But when I saw the blood coming out
of his lips, I knew that he, as the leader, was the one with the most pressure.
From that time onwards, I respected him from the bottom of my heart, which I
never mentioned.
The low tides were over, our third album did very well, more
ppl got to know us and more supported us. The album included self-composed
songs, which was an importance to us. On the day preceding the release of the
album, we sat together listening to the album. We cried. To all our
surprise, we did it! And the most outstanding one was TONY, even KANGTA agreed.
Long-haired TONY outshone everyone in the << Hope >> and << Line Up >> MV . His
individuality and westernized-air was brought out. My hairstyle at that
time looked like the hosts from the 70s. Luckily, I had my hair cut in << Hope
>> , but I looked young.
During the period of the 4th album, we were already used to fatique and the scoldings, because we had matured.. We had underwent even greater changes, greater reputation and we had more supporters. We also had our concert in the main stadium . The day of the concert was a rainy day, but the fans came early and the feedbacks were good. We put all our heart in singing and and dancing. I had hoped that everything would go smoothly, but it didn't.
HEEJUN accidentally fell off the stage and injured himself.
He couldn't move at all in the backstage and sweat was flowing from his
forehead. We were all stunned and felt lost. Maybe becos HEE JUN was the leader
and the soul of the grp, we never felt the importance of his existence until
that day. We felt like our balance was lost, and we started to panic. Maybe this
is the so called leadership! (think translator missed sth)
The staffs were in a loss that they called for ambulance
immediately . TONY and JAE WON wore the wrong clothes , KANGTA held on to HEE
JUN's hand and couldnt stop crying . Me ? I have to calm myself down and pretend
to clap and said :" Let's Go !" Actually I'm very scared .. I'm afraid that this
might be our last concert and HEE JUN might not be able to dance anymore , I ..
don't dare to think anymore ..and I could not show it out !! HEE JUN's injured ,
as the 2nd eldest in the grp , I have to lead them ..
During << Line Up >> JAE WON ,TONY and I have to take over HEE JUN's part ..When
I finished my lines , I looked at JAE WON and he continued perfectly .. JAE WON
might be the youngest but he is the most calmed one in the grp . After << Git It
Up >> KANGTA went back to the backstage crying .. resulting when we were sing <<
Together Forever >> , his eyes and nose were soo red .. All the fans sang with
us , we cant do anything but to go as near to them , in the rain ! The fans were
all crying ..JAE WON started to cry too , KANGTA couldnt sing properly , TONY
used all his energy waving to fans .. everyone were crying .. I was v touched ..
When we returned to the backstage , HEE JUN was already in the << Iyah >> 's
clothing .. He trys v hard to hide his pain and said :" This is the climax ,
don't leave me behind .." when I heard that , I felt v proud to have HEE JUN as
our leader .. I put on some makeups and go up to KANGTA with my cosmetics ,
touched his nose and said :" If you cry again , I will put all these on your
nose " KANGTA finally smiled .. No matter whether is that a real one , he still
smiled .
During the last song << Iyah >> , which is our title track for 4th album , we
were all shouting like hell . everyone's gone crazy , shouting and crying at the
same time .. we were all doing our best and to the extremes ..
After the concert ended , KANGTA helped HEE JUN off the stage and I left my
hands on KANGTA all the way down the stage .. The one who worry me the most was
not HEE JUN but KANGTA .. cos he will realli cant stop crying over HEE JUN's
injury , he might even fall sick .
In fact , to be honest , I dotes on KANGTA alot .. he is beautiful in nature ,
cute , kind and helpful which made everyone can't help but to dote on him .. I
'm not worried abt HEE JUN , I knew that nothing can hurt HEE JUN ..
Down the stage , HHE JUN was carried to the ambulance immediately . The rest of
us insisted to go along despite the comp said no .
At the same time , << Iyah >> broke the record !! we sold over 1200millions
copies and won lots of awards in korea ..we were then arranged to go to china
for concert ..we were sooo happy as china's popularity is so big .. we will be
able to get more supporters if we succeed there..
We started the shooting of the 3d movie << Age Of Peace >> In japan . After that
, we quiet down and prepare ourselves for the 5th album .. It was our very first
own produced CD , so we plunged in more efforts . In this cd, we composed our
own songs , which means this album is just like our children .. when 5th album
was released , we were crazy .. thinking that "A Better Day " will come but it
was the opposite ..
every album have to go through some kind of censorship things b4 it can be
release .. and our 9 months efforts went down to drain .. 2 songs were banned ..
One was KANGTA's << Illusion >> which was said to tempt young ones to take drug
, and 2nd was TONY's<< NBK >> was said to be have negative meanings .
The worst part had yet to come .....
2000 , november , KANGTA got himself into an accident , and all blames were on
KANGTA . SM tot that this is bad for the company's image and order H.O.T to stop
all promotions and cancel all schedules ..exclude us in the SM album , concerts
in Japan and china were cancelled too ..
KANGTA hid himself in the room everyday smoking , crying ..He tot that he was to
blame for everything .. no matter hw we console him, he just wouldnt listen..
..He just keeps on apologising ..All these afected H.O.T's album sale badly . It
was also our first album for not breaking million copies ..
Sm took no actions to help .. After a period of time , we decided to stand up
again for the sakes of our fans , we again asked for the concert in china ..but
was rejected ..reason was , the comp wanted ask to concentrate on the main
concert , which happened to be the last ..we were hurt , we knew that tat was an
excuse ..
At the same time , SM started to take in young ppl ..
For a normal singer in korea , each copy of album sold , they get 100 won but
for us , we merely get 20 won .. after tax , left 7 won .. of cos , we working
for the comp , its right that we earn for the comp and I don't understand what I
got in return for all the hard worksss.. maybe they think we are old enough to
take of ourselves or they don't need us anymore ...
In 5th album ncd , we chose our ways of shooting ... we walked on the railway
tracks , jumped and did a "FIVE" .. How I wished the time could stop there ...
2001 27th of feb , the day when we had our 4th concert in the main stadium ...In
order to assure to our fans , we kept on emphasising H.O.T will not disband and
H.O.T FOREVER ...
This is not just to console them but ourselves too .. cos the critical moment is
here ..contracts of JAE WON , TONY , and me were ending ..
we asked for the lowest conditions but were rejected !!!! Our hearts were broken
..we cant say we brought music to the world , but at least , we brought the
world to know SM . what do we end up with after 5 yrs works ??? why wasnt the
least pride given to us ?? but happy to say that we have our own supporters
...and we decided ..the most important decision made thruout these 5 years..
After discussion with HEE JUN and KANGTA , KANGTA as usual , cried , HEE JUN
told me :" You have grown up , you should decide yourself .." I cried , this was
the first time I cried in front of them ..i know that fans might scold us , comp
might scold us but we decided to make our own choice and find our way out ..
2001 13th of may , we left SM .
Right from the beginning , we have been saying leaving SM but the media reported
as leaving H.O.T ..
When the news spreaded out , we were blamed . we did not want to explain cos we
were already used to being framed ..
what really worried me happened !!! all fans were crying , protesting and
shouting :"WE WANT H.O.T !!!"
and even go into hunger as a form of protestion ..
JAE WON numbed himself by drinking .. to avoid reporters , I couldnt step out of
my house . reading all the fans' letter really hurt me alot .. but I think I
deserved it ..I was sad until I came across this letter which said :" I liked
this H.O.T , bravely faced your own decisions .. if u give in , you are not
H.O.T anymore ..
though I'm sad , but I know u got ur reason , cos I love H.O.T , I respect ur
decision .No matter H.O.T is together or not does not affect me , H.O.T will
always be my H.O.T."
In order not to disappoint fans , I decided to concentrate in our first album
with JAE WON and TONY .
we still keep in contact with HEE JUN and KANGTA but only on phones as we cant
meet ..
"Hyung , i will listen to you .." KANGTA said in the phone ..
"Hyun , U have grown up , think b4 u do anything , don't be impulsive ..k ? "
KANGTA and HEE JUN get to know friends easily , unlike TONY and me , we have our
own limited friends circle ..
There is no way which YJ will take in JUNTA as GOD and H.O.T were onced "enermy"
.. In terms of SM , half their profits came from H.O.T , they suffered loss
losing the 3 of us , so they will definitely do everything they can to keep
JUNTA ..
After consideration , JUNTA decided to stay in SM .
Finiancial Problem also got JUNTA into trouble ..Its all SM ..Covering up
everything using Money ..
Many fans were angry abt rumours of JUNTA staying cos of money , started to
attack them.. Throwing stones to their cars..KANGTA was very sad ..
There was once when KANGTA came to my house in the mid of night bleeding on the
forehead saying :"Hyung , help me , mum will be worried if she sees this .." I
helped him with his wound ..but my heart aches..I then tell him :"Its not your
fault .."and KANGTA said :" Its okie , You ppl are all my loved ones "
After this , Shinhwa was said to be replacing H.O.T .. but that doesnt worry me
cos I know that H.O.T will not be replaced ..MOON HEE JUN , JANG WOO HYUK , AN
SEUNG HO ,AN CHIL HYUN AND LEE JAE WON is H.O.T 's real names ..
As expected , SM gave the best things to JUNTA and their solo album sold very
well .. KANGTA turned to jazz and HEE JUN turned to rock .. the only reason for
doing these are not to let H.O.T comeback ..
we , jtL tried not to get involved in any events..and thx to YJ's understanding
too..
After Mv shooting in china , we got our staffs to get tix for SM concert in
china to watch our brothers' perf .It was still as usual , as if H.O.T was on
stage .. everything remained the same except the 3 of us were not on stage ..
Unexpectedly , KANGTA sang << Hope >> . this was once a song which brought us
glory but nw , it only brings back sad memories and got fans crying , shouting
H.O.T FOREVER ..
I closed my eyes and everything came back ...after JUNTA's perf , We left ...
What worries us happened again .. 4 songs were banned from our album ...though
tired , but we found H.O.T's pass days....
Sorry, I will edit the rest a lil later~~
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