In Taiwan it is not unusual to see English spelling and grammar mistakes on signboards, greeting cards, notebooks, T-shirts and CDs. Most of the time it is very easy to understand what is being written, despite the errors. Like "Demtist", which made me smile and determine never to go to him to get my tooths checked. Or the following printed in a beautifully illustrated diary:

"If you think our love is
good that doesn't make
you domb just contented
you bring me joy."

One of my favorites is a Christmas CD I bought with the following songs on it: "Jollyod St. Nicholas", "The Molly & the Evy", "Fantsy Dearm" and "Satan Claus is Coming to Town". OH! OH! OH!

There are some possible reasons for these errors. The printers do not understand English, or they do not check their work properly, or both. The businesses who order these products from the printers do not understand English, or they do not check their completed products properly, or both. Or the printers and businesses who produce these products trust that the people purchasing these articles do not understand enough English to discern the errors.

In Kenting I bought a T-shirt which the owner of the store proudly told me was a 100% Made in Kenting product. It has a picture of a bulbous blue and white toadfish, below which the following is printed:

Fish should live in tresh water soud as ocean fiver lake on ocean
Peple should conserve protir and
eabance the fish and wildnle and their babitacs
Our ruission is to ruanage protett marutain
and improve the fish. game and
quatic plaut sesources The goals of Reluge Systems
mll be achreved by your cooperation.

This reminds me of an exchange between Alice and Humpty Dumpty in Through the Looking-Glass.

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master - that's all."

Below is what I think the complex environmental message on my T-shirt means, but you may think otherwise.

Fish should live in fresh water such as ocean, river, lake, or ocean. [sea?]
People should conserve, protect and
enhance the fish and wildlife and their habitats.
Our mission is to manage, protect, maintain
and improve the fish, game and
aquatic plant resources. The goals of Refuge Systems
will be achieved by your cooperation.

There is currently a huge debate going on in Taiwan about which Pinyin system to use to transcribe Chinese into the Western alphabet, as they do in China, so that Westerners can read their way around Taiwan. If my T-shirt is anything to go by, Westerners will be more perplexed by the Pinyin than they currently are by the Chinese.

My T-shirt porvs eksactly why dictinorys were imvemted on the tirst palace.

30 July 2002

Dion Marc Delport

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