"Man multiply woman are more people." An adult student of mine wrote this when asked to write a sentence with the word "multiply". There is very little wrong with the reasoning of this sentence and its grammatical errors only add to the impact and immediacy of the sentiment. Remove grammar from consideration and one is left with the brief, but concise, equation "M x W = P+".

The greatness of this equation lies in its wide-ranging application to all aspects of life. A few examples:

Man x Work = Profit+;
Me x Wine = Parties+;
Miss x Write = Passion+;
Monday x Waking = Pain+;
Must x Want = Pleasure+.

Putting two things together will inevitably produce a reaction between them that results in an entirely new third thing. Kept apart, these two things float uselessly in a void, serving no purpose beyond existing. The logic of this equation allows it to be extended without changing its essential character. Changing any one element of the equation (M, W, P) does not alter the truth:

Woman x Waiting = Patience+;
Marriage x Children = Punishment+;
Monkey x White House = US Presidents+.

Changing all the elements likewise does not alter the validity of the equation:

Teacher x Students = Frustrations+;
Taiwan x Typhoon = Holidays+;
Computer x Internet = Nonsense from Dion+.

The potential for a mathematical reconsideration of life, in light of this innocent grammatical miscalculation, is immense. I am tempted to say revolutionary. After all, many of the greatest discoveries have been the results of innocent mistakes. I, of all people, will be the least surprised when one day I hear some passing school children analyzing their life situation: "... yes, but remember man multiply woman are more people."

16 July 2002

Dion Marc Delport

Comment on this article in my Guestbook

Back to Dion's Home Page