1 And it came to pass, just as the pundits had foretold, that amidst a great military trumpeting the Saviour, our Lord Gee Whizz, came forth before the people.
2 And it was with great rejoicing that the faithful did behold him and did raise their voices in praise at the glorious second coming of him on whom the salvation of humankind depended.
3 In their midst did some Pharisees conceal themselves, disguised as the faithful, but oh how great the joy that they were discovered by TV cameras and kept from disrupting so joyous an event as had seldom been beheld in the land.
4 And thus did our Lord Gee Whizz arise and declare before the assembled throng, nay indeed, the watching world, that he had returned to fulfill a sacred mission of redemption:
5 From beyond the stars comes my sacred mission to bring the light of freedom to the darkest corners of the globe, that those who are oppressed will no longer be so;
6 That those who oppress will know in the fullness of time that they cannot do so with impunity and extinguish the light of liberty that is the eternal inheritance of all who dwell upon this earth.
7 Let it be known unto them that I shall stand by the side of our democratic brethren and let the forces of evil tremble in fear and awe at my almighty power, given unto me by Him who dwells beyond the stars, and those who voted for me, and that I shall not spare the tyrants of the world.
8 For I say unto you that this is a blessed mission and blessed am I to be the Chosen One among the chosen people upon whom so great a burden lies.
9 And blessed are those who hear my words and stand with me, for theirs is the glory that we in this land enjoy;
10 And blessed are they who suffer in lands that we shall free from oppression, for I say unto you, that short is their suffering and great their reward, if we are successful, of course;
11 And blessed are the meek who blindly follow and accept the things I declare unto you today, for they shall not be judged in their ignorance, but shall be counted among the faithful;
12 But cursed are they who resist my awesome power and undoubted majesty, for the reign of freedom shall spread across the earth like a plague, destroying all who dare rise against it;
13 And cursed are those who will not choose my path of righteousness, for I say unto them that the path to greatness lies through none but me.
14 Thus say I unto you, forget your idealistic burdens and nationalistic tendencies and follow me, for I am the Truth that leads the way to the light.
15 And thus did the Lord Gee Whizz bestow his blessing and amid great acclamation announce his Second Coming. Glory be to Him from beyond the stars and his son, our Saviour. Amen.
22 January 2005
Dion Marc Delport