Last week, in a class of five women, all of whom are married, we had a raucous discussion about kissing in public. Four of the women are in their thirties and one is sixty and none of them has ever kissed in public. Two of the five have never held hands in public, although one of the two would like to, she breathlessly told us, but her husband won't hear of it!

For me, these two things, kissing and holding hands in public, are as natural as breathing. I could not imagine walking on a street without holding Jia Hui's hand or giving her a kiss when the feeling arises. It's a significant cultural difference that took me a little by surprise the other day when I saw two high school students holding hands and I actually looked twice! While holding hands is automatic for me, to see other people in Taiwan doing it is surprising.

As for kissing, I think I could sell tickets and make a fortune. Two years ago, Jia Hui and I went to Taipei to celebrate New Year. We were in a crowded city mall counting down the arrival of 2001 with hundreds of other people (I was the only one counting in English, I think). As the New Year arrived I kissed Jia Hui, naturally. When I glanced up, still kissing her, people were walking past us, and some had actually stopped, all of them watching us kiss. No one else who I could see was kissing.

Things are slowly changing. The younger generation is becoming more open in public displays of affection, but they are also at a stage where they are still self-conscious about it. I have a woman friend who still blushes at the mention of underwear in the most innocent of contexts and my threats to kiss her in public one day send her into giggles of suppressed excitement and potential mortification.

One of Jia Hui's notions of romance is that when we are old we will still hold hands in public. I can't imagine doing otherwise. I just wonder what she would say if I also kissed her.

11 March 2003

Dion Marc Delport

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