Since my last visit to South Africa in December 2001, three new people have joined the family - first Ciaran, then Angelique, and now Megan - a nephew and two nieces. They are strangers to me and, despite my joy at their births, they are no more real to me than the children of a passing stranger in the street. Of course, what makes them somewhat different is that I am their uncle.

I know my other nephews and nieces, at least I know them as they were nearly two years ago. In two years they have all changed so much - they are older, taller, wiser about the ways of the world, more mature, and two grades further on at school. All of this is of course inevitable, but it is still surprising to me when I hear their voices on the phone and realize that I have to change the questions I ask and the things I talk about.

I recently bought a three-paneled room divider in which I can put photos and adorned it with photos of my family - each brother and sister has a section dedicated to them and their families. I expect that after my visit to South Africa I will have to change the pictures of the children, in addition to adding those whose pictures I have not yet taken. I do not have similar expectations about changing the pictures of my siblings or their spouses, which may or may not be a bad thing!

I feel I have lost out by not being present during these periods of growth and for the births of three new children. I have a sense about myself that I am like the fabled wandering uncle who magically appears every few years wearing a bushwhacker's hat and draped with furs and skins of beasts he has daringly battled and overcome. I just hope that my nieces and nephews don't have the same sense!

31 July 2003

Dion Marc Delport

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