Brian moved around his kitchen on automatic. He set up the coffee maker and as it began to drip, filling the loft with the fresh brewed aroma of his favorite kona blend, he went to the refrigerator and pulled out some of the fruit that Justin�s mother had brought over a couple of days before hand. Jennifer Taylor had taken it upon herself to make sure the two men had a full fridge and freezer, knowing that neither man liked shopping, and for once Brian was thankful for her thoughtfulness.

Brian looked up at the bedroom, hearing a noise and saw Justin stretching as he awoke. He watched Justin as he made his way to the bathroom. Before his lover returned, Brian sitting on the bed, glass of juice in his hand. �Fuck if the others could see me now. They�d think I�d turned into a fucking dyke,� Brian thought, then deciding that it wasn�t important what his friends thought of him. �Justin�s what�s important right now.�

�How are you feeling?� Brian asked, waiting for Justin to finish the juice before leaning over and kissing him gently. He felt Justin shift his body to mold it into Brian�s own, needing to feel the safety of his lover and wondered at what else Justin would have to go through in his young life.

�Like shit,� Justin replied. �Tired. I just kept tossing and turning all night.�

�I know, I was the one you kept kicking in the shin,� Brian joked, earning himself a small chuckle from Justin, which had been his intention.

�Sorry.�

�Don�t be. Trust me, I don�t bruise easily.�

�I just kept seeing his face, feeling his hands,� Justin said, almost as if he was in a trance. �And I couldn�t get away no matter what I did, what I said. And there was no one there to help me.� Brian took an indrawn breath. He remembered when Justin had told him what was going on when he was as senior, but Brian had just told him to suck it up and get through his last year of school. Even after Justin had confronted Hobbs in front of Woodys, other than telling him that he had just made himself an enemy, Brian did nothing to make sure that Justin would be safe. And now this rape, after Brian had rebuffed Justin�s attempts to have a romantic picnic. Brian cursed himself for not having the courage to do what his lover wanted.

Justin felt Brian tense behind him and knew instantly what was going through his head. �Brian what happened wasn�t your fault, no matter how much you might want to think otherwise. You didn�t make me go over to Ethan�s. Fuck, even if I had told you about going over there, you still couldn�t have done anything. You would have thought the same thing I had, that I was going to visit a friend and you�ve never discouraged me from doing that, even if you had other plans for me.� Brian couldn�t help himself, he barked out his laughter. �I just can�t believe I trusted him.�

�Justin, you�ve always been a trusting person,� Brian said. �Hell, I think I�ve known that since the first night I met you. And from what you told me last night, this guy never gave you any indication that he was going to do this. And I said it before; you did nothing wrong in going over there. You thought you had found a friend, someone that you could talk to and that had things in common with. The fact that he turned into a fucking bastard had nothing to do with you. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen.�

�So what do I do now?�

�Now you prove to the bastard that he can�t win,� Brian answered, wishing there was something else he could say. �You already told me last night that you didn�t want to report what the fiddler did to the cops, so we can�t get him like that.�

�Like they would have done anything anyway,� Justin snorted. �They didn�t give a shit when Chris Hobbs almost killed me.�

�Whatever. What would you say if I suggested that maybe you should talk to someone about what has happened?� Brian suggested, knowing it was something he was normally against.

�You mean like a psychiatrist or something?� Justin asked, surprised at Brian�s suggestion He knew how the older man felt about the whole psychiatric profession, remembering Brian�s comments when he told him about the therapist that his mother had tried to get him to see.

�Believe it or not, that�s exactly what I�m saying,� Brian said. �As much as it pains me to admit it, but I think that, this time, maybe it would be for the best if you talk to someone. You�ve gone through a lot of shit over the past year. The shit you�re homophobic prick of a father had done to you. The bashing. And now this. No one can be expected to go through what you�ve had to and not have to talk to someone.� When Justin didn�t say anything, Brian went on. �If you want, I�d be willing to go with you.� Justin looked up at Brian in surprise.

�Really,� he asked. �But you�ve always told me how the only person that could help you was yourself. Why would you be willing to go see some shrink to talk about stuff that you don�t even want to talk to me about?�

�Because I think its something that might do you some good,� Brian admitted, even willing to go one step further. �And, it might even do me some good too.�

�But how would I even go about finding someone to talk to,� Justin asked. �I wouldn�t even know where to start looking.�

�I know someone.� Justin looked up at Brian in surprise. �I talked to him a bit when you first moved into the loft after the bashing. He helped me understand what you were going through and gave me a couple of suggestions about helping you.� Justin didn�t know what to say. He couldn�t believe that Brian had cared enough for him to actually go against his own beliefs and seek out help with something. Cared enough to be willing to admit that he wasn�t able to do something.

�Do you think he would be willing to help? Even though he knows you personally?� Justin didn�t even bother asking how Brian knew the guy. He figured he had a damn good idea of the relationship they had had.

�If he can�t, I�m sure he�d be more than willing to suggest someone who can.� Brian looked down at the blond head that was leaning against his chest. �Does this mean that you want me to see about getting an appointment with him?� Justin was silent for a moment before slowly nodding his head.

�I�I think that might be a good idea,� Justin said.

�Do you have a shift today?�

�I have the dinner shift,� Justin told Brian. �I�m supposed to work five to ten. Why?�

�Do you think you�ll be up to it or do you want me to call Deb and get her to cover your shift? I can tell her that you have an assignment that you have to work on, that way she won�t worry.� Justin shook his head.

�As much as I would rather stay here and not face the world, I�m afraid that if I did I would never go back outside,� he answered. �Just, he knows I work at the diner. What if he shows up?�

�As stupid as I think this asshole is,� Brian said, �he can�t be stupid enough to try something in public, especially the diner.�

�I don�t know,� Justin stammered.

�Look, Justin, how about this. I was already planning on meeting the boys at the diner anyway before going to Woody�s. How about I just stick around after I drop you off? It wouldn�t look too unusual anyway. The diner is practically my second home anyway.�

�After the backroom and the baths.� Brian smiled as he listened to Justin�s laugh. He was glad that the teen still had that ability after everything he had been though, even if it was at his expense.

�Come on, little boy,� Brian said, moving both of them until they were standing. �Time to get some food into you before you shrink away into nothing.� The two men made their way into the kitchen, where Justin grabbed some cereal while Brian spooned some fruit into two bowls. He looked over at Justin, smiling at the enthusiasm that the blond dug into his breakfast, wondering at the strength that he held. He hoped that strength would be enough to get Justin through whatever else might happen because, Brian knew, that things with Ethan Gold weren�t over yet. Brian promised himself, though, that he would be there for Justin to make sure that he would get hurt as little as possible.