�Justin?� Brian�s voice was soft, full of concern, and it was also Justin�s undoing. He turned in his lover�s arms and wrapped his own around Brian needing to feel the safety that Brian had given him after the bashing. Uncontrollable sobbing poured forth from Justin, the pain, anger and humiliation that Ethan had caused in him finally finding a release. Brian pulled Justin close to him, whispering soothing words to the teen even though he had no idea what had set him off. It had been a few months since Justin had had a panic attack and Brian had thought that they had gotten through that phase.

�Maybe working on the comic with Mikey isn�t suck a good idea of this is what�s going to happen,� Brian thought. He reached over to turn off the water, his skin having turned red just in the short time that he had been in the shower. �How the hell has he been able to stay under water this hot?�

Brian let a still crying Justin out of the shower and had him lean up against the bathroom sink. Brian moved to get a towel so he could dry Justin off but was stopped when the blond only held on to him tighter. It began to remind Brian of how Justin would be after he had one of his nightmares of Chris Hobbs.

�Justin, what�s wrong?� Brian asked softly. �What happened?� Brian felt Justin answering him, he could feel the movement of his lips against his bare chest, but Justin was speaking so softly he couldn�t make out what his lover was trying to tell him. �Justin, baby, you have to speak up. I can�t hear you.�

Justin was quiet for a few minutes and began to wonder if he would find out what was going on. Although if he was truthful with himself, considering the way Justin was acting, Brian wasn�t sure that he wanted to know. More time passed, with Justin clutching the way Justin was acting, Brian wasn�t sure that he wanted to know. More time passed with Justin clutching Brian, before he felt Justin take a deep breathe and pull away slightly, although he made sure to stay in contact with the older man.

�Remember the concert Lindsay and Mel took me to for my birthday?�

�The violinist?�

�Ethan Gold,� Justin said. �He goes to PIFA and he�s considered a genius.� Brian wanted to ask what that had to do with why Justin was so upset, but he didn�t want to interrupt him. �I ran into him a few times and he seemed really nice. And he�s not half bad looking. And he never made it a secret that he was attracted to me, but I made sure he knew that I had someone in my life and that I wasn�t looking for anyone else.

�Well, while Daphne and I were out earlier today we ran into him and, after Daphne left, I helped him carry a sofa to his apartment. He has this little studio that�s seen better days, but he�s tried to make it nice, ya know. We got to talking and discovered that we had a lot in common, and I liked having someone my age that I could talk to.

�Tonight, after you walked out on the picnic, I decided to go back over to his place. I had given him one of my paintings and told him that he could pay me for it with a song. When he asked why I went there tonight, that�s what I told him. That I was there to collect.� Justin looked up meeting Brian�s eyes for the first time since Brian had entered the shower and Brian didn�t like what he saw. There was fear in Justin�s eyes. A fear that Brian couldn�t recall ever having seen there.

�Justin?�

�I swear Brian, I only went over there because I needed to be with a friend. I didn�t want to do anything. God, I just wanted someone to talk to. Someone who might understand some of the things I was feeling. I didn�t want anything to happen. I didn�t�� Justin broke down.

�Oh fuck, Justin,� Brian said, pulling the teen close to him again. He had a feeling he knew what had happened when his young lover had gone to see his friend. Sure, Brian and Justin had played a bit, occasionally they both liked it rough, but it was always mutual. He knew hurt the teen.

�I told him no. I said it so many times but he wouldn�t stop. He just kept on saying how much I wanted it. How much would love it. I kept telling him to stop. Told him I didn�t want him like that but he just laughed. He said that if I didn�t want it, why did I go over there. That my being there with him instead of out with you was proof that I did want him. But that�s not why I went over there. I swear it isn�t. I never wanted that. You have to believe me, Brian. Tell me you believe me.�

�Shh, baby, I believe you,� Brian assured his lover, all the while thinking of the various ways he could hurt the sorry son of a bitch that had dared to hurt the man in his arms. Brian held Justin against him, listening as he cried and wishing there was something that he could do to have never had what happened to Justin actually happen. Unfortunately for all concerned, there was nothing he could do except what he was. Making sure that Justin knew that Brian would be there for him and give Justin the sense of safety that the two men had fought so hard for after the events of the prom.

When it appeared that Justin had finally cried himself to sleep, Brian picked him up and carried his lover to the bed, laying him down and covering him with the duvet. When Brian tried to move away from the bed, Justin whimpered in his sleep, automatically reaching for Brian, who moved back to him. Brian cradled Justin in his arms, gently humming a song that he used the few times that the two men had Gus over for the night, knowing that it would sooth the younger man. About thirty minutes later, Brian tried to move away again, hoping that Justin had fallen into a deep sleep. When he moved off the bed, the only thing that Justin did was move into the warm spot that Brian�s body heat had left.

Brian immediately headed for the bar; needing a drink desperately as he finally began to let his emotions get the better of him. He grabbed the bottle of Beam, not even bothering with the glass, knowing that he was going to need his tried and true method of pain management.

�Fuck, how much is Justin supposed to take before he breaks,� Brian thought to himself, even though everything in him wanted to scream. �First his homophobic prick of a father kicks him out, then that bastard Hobbs bashes him over the head and the cops let him get away with it, and now this. If I ever get my hands on the son of a bitch that did this to Justin I�� Brian didn�t want to finish that thought. As much as he wanted nothing more that to go and find Ethan Gold and hurt as badly, if not worse that, he did Justin, he knew he could do it. He couldn�t take that chance on leaving Justin alone to deal with what had happened by himself.

�Christ, how am I supposed to help him with this?� Brian wondered. �I don�t have any experience in dealing with anyone whose been raped and I know Justin. There�s no way in hell that he�ll be willing to talk to anyone about it. Well, at least, he�s never wanted to do that with the bashing.� Brian snorted bitterly after that thought. He knew that Justin had wanted to talk about what had happened at the prom. Had tried to bring it up a few times only to be shot down by Brian. Brian was the one who couldn�t talk about what had happened that night, blaming himself for what had happened. �Now this. Fuck, why didn�t I just stick around and eat the damn cheese? He doesn�t ask me for a lot and I couldn�t even give him a picnic, so instead he felt he needed someone else and looked what happened. Fuck, maybe everyone is right and I�m not the right person for Justin but god damn it, I would never hurt him like he was tonight. I would never do that to him.�

Brian threw the now empty bottle of liquor in frustration, waking Justin who cried out. �Shit,� Brian said, jumping up and running in to comfort the teen. He went over to his lover, taking him in his arms and calming him down. �I�m sorry, baby, I didn�t mean to wake you.�

�Are you mad at me?� Justin asked, still half asleep.

�Mad at you? Why the fuck would I be mad at you?�

�Because I went over to Ethan�s,� Justin answered. Brian kissed the top of Justin�s head, holding him tight.

�Justin, all you did was go over to someone�s home that you thought of as your friend,� Brian said. �You said you didn�t plan on anything happen with this guy, and I believe you. And I understand that you needed someone to talk to. That�s what friends are for. The fact that the bastard took advantage of your trust and did this to you is not your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for.�

�God, Brian, why did this have to happen?� Justin cried. �We�ve already been through so much, why can�t we ever just be happy? Is that too much to ask for?�

�No, Justin, if anyone deserves to be happy, it�s you,� Brian told his lover. �I don�t know why this shit keeps happening but I promise to make sure that it never happens again. And I will make the fucker pay for hurting you.�

�No, Brian, you can�t,� Justin begged, facing him. �He threatened to hurt you if I even told you about what had happened. He even made it clear that he expected me to be with him again.�

�Son of a bitch,� Brian hugged Justin closer to him. �That fucker will never get near you again. I don�t care if I have to take you from class to class, I�ll make damn sure of that.�

�Brian, you can�t take off of work,� Justin said. �It�s not like there aren�t people around all the time. I even share my studio space with other people.�

�But they aren�t there all the time,� Brian pointed out. �I just don�t want to take the chance that he can get you alone again. I don�t want anything to happen to you.�

�So what do you suggest?�

�I�m going to drive you to school, if not me I�m sure Daphne would be more than willing to take you, and one of us will pick you up,� Brian told him. �As for studio space, if you know you�re going to be alone, I would rather you work here at the loft.�

�Are you sure? You know I�m not the neatest person when I�m in the middle of a project. It�s why I do so much at the studio.�

�If it�s a choice between your safety and a mess in the loft, there�s no choice. You�re more important.� Brian watched as Justin tried to stifle a yawn. He lay down on the bed, pulling Justin down with him. Justin snuggled into Brian�s side, needing the security the older man offered and the two men drifted off into an uneasy sleep, both wondering what the coming weeks would offer.