chris i am.
goddess i am.
on a long lonely night
if you look long
and hard enough
you just might see me,
out on the water
crying your name.
"kiss me",
you'd say
but i can't
because my heart is broken.
you are there
in the land
where i long to be,
with those arms
that call to me.
and those eyes
that break my heart more
then any pain i have known,
for i am here
longing to be a part of you.
forever yours.
chris
i'm the goddess you seek. find me and i'll be with you.
wandering stars
for whom it is reserved
the blackness
the darkness
forever. ----- portishead
"my son"
\his eyes are soft and blue.
i watch as he sleeps
i watch again as his tiny hand
swings at a string of colored rings.
i wonder if he still knows who i am .
or am i just another one of the many
who come to visit this place
he calls home
i wonder if he knows i love him
or will he hold it against me
i wonder if he will understand
that this choice had to be made
not out of love or hatred
not out of want or disrespect.
this choice i made by force
surrounded in pain
forced by those people
who said i wasn't good enough
or i was too young
those people who said i wouldn't
love him enough
or make him happy enough
how do they know?
did they not see the tears in my eyes
as they ripped him from my arms?
did they not see the love in my heart
as i held him in my hands?
what makes them gods?
what gives them the right
to take this child from me?
and ruin my life?
and when all is said and done
what gives them the right
to send their impersonal letter
just to say,"we're sorry. we were wrong."
so i ask you, my friends,
in this society based on materialistic values
where is there room
for the mother who loves her child
simply because he is a part of her?
where is there room
for the mother who gives
her heart to the child
she can not give
material pocessions
where is there room for the mother who loves her son unconditionally because she has no other love to give?.
well while we are on the sappy love theme how about this????
"downfalls of being human."
i waited for hours today
contemplating the beauty of
existance
and the truth behind
i found it feels good
to sit here
ignored by the world
bathing in my own existance and the peacefulness of being
alone
then, just as contention hit
the thing i have been waiting for
stands wide eyed in front of my face
waiting for me
and i told him to go
for i am only human
and dont realize what i could have
till it is gone
leaving me to sit and wait some
more
...i wrote that in 2000. i would have to say that was one of my better years for poetry but not perfect i assure you.
Here I am in Portland. Portland. I don't know what I expected. Hell, I am not even sure who I am anymore. They say "Be yourself." Yeah, right. And while i am buisy being myself, someone else will come along and fuck up my rotation.
And what's up with the people in this burg, anyways. It's as though they have no desire to meet others like them.
Fuck'em. We'll find them when the time is right...
----------- "where they lead - you will follow,. and i guess that's just the way it goes and if you look away you'll be doing what they say. and if you look alive you'll be singled out and tried. if you take home anything, let it be your will to think. The more cynical you become, the better off you will be."----------slurch
and one last thing...
if you love someone unconditionally and they dont love you that way back, cant that lead to the potential staulking.
not cool. i have had one of those before. it is a little creepy.
-----------12 rounds.
