| Room 101 |
| A list of five of the things (actually in order) that I detest about this planet ........ |
| 2). People Who Are Rude Without Cause To Be (Not Just Chavs): having worked in the public service industry, in pubs to get the cream of the crap too, I have seen and experienced these beings who have no right to be part of the human race. No matter what you do you cannot please them, some are professional complainers (who should have red hot pokers jammed up them), others get a kick out of being rude. These people should be ejected from Planet Earth. I could give some excellent examples from my experiences, but I believe this example from a friend of mine who worked in Staples is superb: He was talking to a customer when another customer actually stepped between them and started talking about the telephone he wanted! Then got extremely pissed off and stormed out when he wasn't served! Myself I give the following advice, ignore them; "Our bloody food hasn't arrived yet", ignore them; "Oi you serving, or WHAT?"; ignore them, if they hit you it's likely to cost them �1000!. For Christ's sake I'm just doing a job to earn money to pay the rent. You can feel pity for such people, but remember they have a choice about being rude! Tip: One of the best things to say to calm them down a bit is "I don't make the prices". |
| 1). Chavs - this used to be called The Gods/The Gits, but then Chavs (or "yobs"/"yobbish behaviour" as the government calls it) became a more widely used term. What can I say about them, Britain's new ruling class? How many towns have been taken over by them and are now called Chavtown? I don't know the answers, but Friday and Saturday nights can often become a sea of Burberry where I live, and despite the number of Chavs where I live you should see Croydon! Typically the male version will have a baseball cap, Burberry coloured is an obvious give away, but often Chavs can be spotted by their (almost nervous) habit of curving the peak of the cap downwards. They come out of a factory stamped with the next number in line, and they will often get into a fights over completely meaningless reasons. The female versions will typically have large gold hoop earings (always reminds me of a character from Moby Dick: "Suspended from his ears were two golden hoops, so large that the sailors called them ring-bolts, and would talk of securing the top-sail halyards to them."). They will be just as likely to get into a fight as the male versions. |
| 3). Drivers Who Don't Indicate When They Turn, Or Indicate At The Last Nanosecond : such "drivers" should be banned and forced to take the bus for the rest of their lives. They show no consideration for others, and thus nobody should show consideration for them. |
| 5). Pop-Up Windows On The Internet - maybe it's just me, but these suck. At the end of a long internet session you may close down the Navigator or Explorer and find ten pop-up windows behind the application. Or they may pop-up in front of the screen right where you have just clicked for something else, so you end up in casino heaven instead of the next page! Plus to cap it off if you go back they pop-up again! Never visit the Vengaboys website for this and other obvious reasons. |
| 4). People Who Enter Before You Exit - no one get any sexual ideas, thats an order! I mean those idiots who get into a lift, or train before you get out, or those morons from outer space who get into a subway train before you get out. It is common curtesy to let someone leave first. It comes down again to that basic rudeness some people have, people walking around town pushing others out of their way with their shoulders is another example. They should all be ejected from Planet Earth, head first. |
| Lets finish this section with my favourite quote : "Welcome to Planet Earth where no good deed goes unpunished!" |