The word pride has many definitions. But there is one which is the context I will discuss in this format. It is not �a group or family of lions�. And it is not one of the seven deadly sins, though that is addressed here. The definition I refer to here is as follows, as found on the YAHOO search engine:
Pride NOUN: 1. A sense of one�s own proper dignity or value; self-respect.
This sense of the word pride is deemed a virtue. It is something which is achievable to all and quite a desirable trait to possess. It is in a way, what the Constitution was based on when it speaks of the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness as well as the phrase, �All men (persons) are created equally�. But often it seems that so many lack this trait. And those that have it possess it and express it to varying degrees. It is more of a spectrum than an absolute and manifests in many ways. Upon thinking this through I have come to the conclusion that pride, like many things, is something that does not so much stand alone, but is rather mitigated by other factors. So far as I can surmise, the sense of pride as defined above could mainly be considered a fine balance or blending between the qualities of respect and humility.
First I will begin with the concept of respect. Now in this sense it is two fold. There is respect for self and respect for others. One may possess one, both or neither. To achieve the virtue of pride it is important to have both. I will talk more on this in a moment.
Next is humility. The ability to be humble and not hold oneself in too high regard. By accepting modesty in both action and attitude one opens the door for progress. For you see, if an individual believes they are perfect already, then they have no room for growth and therefore are unwilling to learn.
As with pride, both these traits are expressed in varying degrees. But in my view, it is primarily the degrees of these two traits that most forge the sense of pride in an individual. If the balance of these two traits are tempered with wisdom then the best sense of pride is achievable. Too much or too little of either of these traits lead to other, pride associated traits. For example: One may have a strong sense of respect for themselves but little or none for others, coupled with very little sense of humility. This takes pride to the extremes of vanity, conceit and arrogance. This is the sense of pride that is referred to as one of the seven deadly sins. Another example: One may have much respect for others and little for themselves, coupled with too strong a sense of humility. This usually manifests as low self worth, low self esteem, inferiority complexes and shame.
There are of course many other degrees of these manifestations. Some lead to people being violent toward others who they see as inferior in some way through their arrogance. Others lead to depression and even suicide in themselves when they feel themselves unworthy. These are the extremes of these manifestations. But it does not have to progress to these levels. One of the reasons these progressions takes place is because people don�t believe themselves to have a choice in such matters. They simply do not realize that they are in control of their own personal attitudes, ideas and beliefs. That, or they adhere very strictly to these personal views and leave no room or possibility for the evolution of those beliefs, attitudes or ideas. Many are unwilling to see things in a different light (caused perhaps by said arrogance) and others feel as though they have no control over them (caused perhaps by said low self esteem).
These manifestations do exist and are observable on a daily basis when dealing with society and even ourselves. But most of us have at least the idea that such things are not set in stone. Many wish to make changes and achieve that level of pride which is most desirable, but are TOO proud or TOO humble to know where to begin. Mostly however it is the simple fact that the desire to obtain this sense of pride is just not strong enough. Too often, we as humans become comfortable with familiarity and often fear change. Sometimes it is a matter of subconscious influences which we are neither aware of nor understand. And then there are those who just don�t give a hoot at all.
Before I found my own sense of pride I went through all three of the above listed possibilities. I once knew only depression and sorrow. It was all that I had come to know. I accepted it as my lot in life for a long time and fostered no hope that things would ever change. I was in fact, fearful of becoming happy since I could find no definition of myself in the context of being happy. It meant change, and I didn�t want to face the things I might have to face in order to discover it. Then I did build enough desire to attempt the change which led me to discover many of the underlying subconscious causes of my previous state of existence. Most of them dealing with difficulties from my past. But I found courage in my desire to change and faced head on those �demons of the past�. This internal baggage was lifted and I found a new sense of confidence and pride. But being unfamiliar with this newfound freedom I quickly moved toward smugness and arrogance. I found within myself the ability of defending my ideas and beliefs, but tried to take it to far. First by trying to �save the world� and bring everyone to my understanding by insisting that I had the answers, and then, when met with resistance I simply considered others weak and ignorant and stopped caring altogether. Thankfully this phase only lasted a very short time as I discovered humility once again, but in a more proper context. :-)
One of the benefits of age is the ability of gaining wisdom if you are open to it. But it is not something that always naturally occurs. You must seek it. You must make the choice to do so by realizing that there is much to learn on this journey we call life. If you do not seek adamantly to learn from life�s trials and triumphs then they often become little more than experiences. Memories without meaning. But the wonderful thing is that it�s never too late. Should you choose, you can revisit those memories and examine them with an objective mindset to learn any lessons you may have missed. It is often difficult to do so, for it means you must look at your own memories from a different point of view. One that is more objective rather than subjective. You must dare to look at it from another�s perspective and in a way, �let go of your self�. How we see ourselves is often very different than how others see us. And many times people only focus so strongly on their strengths or weaknesses, one or the other. But we must learn to accept all that we are in the spirit of humility and respect for self. And when we give others the freedom to explore those things in themselves, we show respect for others.
Perhaps I have been fortunate in the amount of adversity I have face in my lifetime. Being physically and mentally abused as a child along with the fact of being gay and being generally discriminated against in that regard had taken a huge toll on my mental state of being. Even making the choice to follow Christ has had it�s bumps in the road, mostly due to the aforementioned fact that I am gay. But having experienced the ultimate lows which brought me to the point of suicidal tendencies opened the door to the possibility of living to witness the opposite extremes. Every reality and state of mind has it�s opposite, and fortunately I somehow managed to not only understand this fact, but embrace it and seek it out. For me personally it came in the form of dedicating my life to the pursuit, understanding and acceptance of the highest forms of Truth. That Truth which is beyond personal perspective but also involves encompassing as many different viewpoints as I could conceive. And though I feel I am in a very good place at present where personal pride is concerned, I yet hold to the possibility of further growth and understanding. And God willing, I will hold this view so long as I draw breath.
I hope my views on pride have been stated clearly and understandably. For I feel that herein lies some bit of wisdom. And yet, I accept that others not only have the right, but really need to make the journey toward pride on their own. It is a path which has as many roads leading to the destination as there are personalities out there. But hopefully, something I have written here will shine a light on someone else�s path and make it a little bit easier for them to find their way.
