Today was my third day back at Shop N Save. As always, it�s like I never left. It was comfortable and easy enough, just like riding a bike after a period of not doing so. I have been rather cheerful these last three days and everyone seems glad to have me back. It�s late now and it�s actually snowing! Just when I thought it was done for the year. Ah well, it�s supposed to jump back up in temperature so the little bit that coated the ground won�t last long. Maybe a day or two at most.
The main event I wanted to record today involves the young man I wrote the letter to as depicted back in the December journal entry. These three months I have had practically no contact with him at all, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. He did not work the last two days, but he was there tonight. While we have had no direct conversation, there was a moment of interaction when he came back to the deli to get his lunch. I was washing dishes and one of my co-workers got him a slice of pizza. I had just sliced the pizza from the oven and put it up and started the dishes. I looked over as she was helping him and noted they were conversing a bit. I didn�t want to intrude, but being in such a cheerful mood I spoke my mind at a thought. I said to no one in particular, �That boy�s got perfect timing, I just pulled that pizza out of the oven.� Then it happened. The young man looked over and smiled. No words, just a simple expression is all. But in that brief moment I saw that which I had come to admire so much in this young man. His very countenance beamed with inner light. It was not unlike the moment when I saw such beauty in Lana in the office as detailed in my April 2003 entry. It was as if all the light I see in this young man blazed like the sun in that moment in a flash of ultimate purity, and I rejoiced.
It�s odd. People seem to think me strange for showing such appreciation for these simple events. It�s as if they can not see the ultimate beauty that can be found in such simple moments. Like they take them for granted and not see them for the immense treasures that I know them to be. Perhaps they do not look beyond the obvious to see the incredible sense of grace such expressions impart. What appeared as a simple, appreciative smile for a passing comment was to me an expression of grace which proved that despite past misunderstanding or struggle, the human spirit can still aspire to greatness of character. The young man could have just as easily frowned, focusing on past events and holding negativity in his heart toward me. But rather, he chose joyfulness and held true to that which I believe him to possess, a soul filled with God�s light. And I have yet another treasured moment. One which I can imagine looking back on years from now, probably while I am living in Oregon, and be thankful for God�s influence in my life which lets me see such grace and beauty in others. In those future times, I know that I will look back at such moments fondly and find myself hoping and praying that those who have imparted these brief inspirations are in good health and have joy in their lives, wherever they may be. Just like all the ones I think back upon now at past events.
In a world where so much negativity and strife occurs, I find that these simple moments, when looked at as a whole, make all the difference to me. It is largely for this reason that my heart knows such daily joy and that others can witness that joy in my interactions with them. For those that know me and think well of me by the time we share or the actions they see me take, they really should realize that they are themselves partly responsible for any joy they glean from the moments we share. It is the beauty and grace I see in them and the rest of God�s creations which allows me to have such consistent joy in my life and my choice to give back and share that with the world is simply an expression of my faith. If only people could see how beautiful they can be and often are. If only they could realize that it is only a matter of choice on what they want to focus on. All too often that focus is on the struggles and adversity that life throws at us. And far too often people do not recognize that these struggles are opportunities for deeper understanding and a realization of just how precious a gift life truly is. I find myself wishing I could do more to make them see this basic Truth. But I do try. This is why I write letters to others. This is why I set my mind to doing what good I can in this world and attempt to share the joys and many treasures my own journey through life brings. And this is why I choose not to hold on to sorrow, anger, disappointment or any sense of guilt I may experience for very long. They serve their purpose to seek higher understanding, but not letting go after learning from their presence can only hinder a life and counter God�s plan for us in this world. I am so very thankful for this understanding.
I look at my life now and in times past and feel certain that I will always go through my life�s journey with this understanding. Good times will be treasured always and the trials will serve their purpose to bring about greater faith and understanding until such time that I can return to God�s eternal essence. And even in the worst of times I will listen to that gentle voice of the spirit which assures me that �all is as it should be� and in that I will trust, always.
