Author's Note: This is still from the forum days. Ridiculousness. Ancient memories.

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of Final Fantasy or Walmart (Walmart is quite exciting; so many things in one store).

Warnings: OTT Character bashing and OOC, I was still a retarded kid

Like the crystal waters of the beach shore, they ensumed her. Burrowing a deep hole into the depths of her soul, as she looked into those two deep pools of icy blue. The message hidden beneath their deep tides was one unhidden to her eyes. One so powerful that even her dog could see it as he stood beside her in patient waiting. It was that message that drew her into the light...

She leaned forward, extending her arms in an open embrace towards the tall, elegant, man before her.

"Ma'am. I'm afraid we don't allow animals into the store." He kept his voice low when adding, "We'll make an exception for you, but not your dog."

"Uh..." She paused, putting her arms down as he quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, yea... I just won't let him in then." She batted her eyelashes furiously and smiled, her yellow teeth radiating in the large lighting from the tall ceiling above.

"Heh..." The man gave a nervous laugh, not letting his face break from one of confusion to smile back (We all know he DOSEN'T do the smiling thing). "Uh... He's already in." His elegantly gloved finger pointed to the drooling creature at her legs.

"Oh... Yea... He is. I'll just take him back out, then." She smiled, still not moving.

"OK... So..." He glanced at the dog, and shuddered at, what he thought to be, the mere illusion of a pair of glowing red eyes focused upon his face. "Does your dog kill?"

"Excuse me?"

"Er- I meant bite! Bite! Does your dog bite?" He glanced around nervously. Suddenly, from above, floating down from heavan, was a large cardboard sweatdrop, that came to a soft rest beside his brow.

"No! He's a sweet doggy!" She leant forward, hugging the pup with a smile and giggle. "His name is Angelo."

"Aa..."

The dog foamed at the mouth.

"Eh..." The man beside the door backed up, "Just leave your dog outside, eh?"

"OK!" She giggled and bounced outside to tie her dog onto a displayed lawn-mower infront of the building.

The dog snickered, almost evilly behind her back, as she began her happy dance back into the store.

"Welcome to Walmart." The man began again.

The girl, straightened her blue frock and smiled as if she hadn't a clue what was going on around her. "Thank you!" Her giggles were squeaky and pitched to the volume of only a dog's hearing.

Outside, the dog howled.

They stood in an awkward silence for a moment, seeing as the girl didn't move.

"OK..." The man blinked glancing around, "Uh... Enjoy your shopping." He gave her a wave, hoping to send her along her way.

It didn't work.

"But, isn't there anything you want to ask me?" She smiled, her phone number on the tip of her toungue for an immediate responce when he asked (She also pulled out her dormitory room key, to her room at the 'Church Of St. Peter Convent for Training Women to Follow Our Lady Mary In Holiness and Virginity' down the street, incase he was feeling good about himself tonight).

"Uh..." The sweatdrop hadn't moved since it arrived. He held up the role of sticky, yellow, dots. "Do you want a smiley face sticker?"

"Goddamnit, Irvine. I've had to tell you three times this past week!" Selphie pouted and stomped her foot, "Gogurt is not a toy! It goes in the grocery section!"

A tall boy blinked and scratched the cowboy hat neatly set upon his tied, red, hair. "But, I thought-"

Selphie Tillmit gave a sigh and shook her long green hair (Bad swimming accident). "We never get to spend anytime together, anymore, Irvy!"

Irvine Kinneas paused from unstacking the gogurt boxes, from the shelf, beside the Barbie and Doll isles. The dark cowboy hat set upon is head hid his weary eyes as he turned his head to the floor. The long trenchcoat he wore didn't improve his look (working at Walmart), as it clashed horribly with his deep blue Walmart employee shirt and jeans. Though, he knew not how his trenchcoat looked upon him (He had just stolen it from a hunting store across the street, and the price tag still dangled from the wrist reading:

'| ||| | | |||| |
372 700 870
$0.50 - 50% OFF! - $0.25

This coat csme from a box of Cheerios our staff was eating for breakfast on June 7, 1969, during Woodstock. Look for extra cereal bits in pockets if hungry.' But, on the back it read: 'Warning! This trenchcoat is NOT penetrable by silver bullets. Do NOT loan to: werewolf, hunting game, or ex-girlfriend.')

"I believe our relationship is suffering because of your horrid working habbits." The girl turned suddenly, "I'm sorry, Irvine. It's over."

"Damnit!" The man through his hat down, "They said they'd call me when the game started! Who won?"

From across the store, zoomed a giant sweatdrop of cardboard, held in the air by remarkable anti-gravity skills. It stopped suddenly beside the green-haired girl's head. "The Lakers won, and that's NOT what I was talking about."

Irvine mumbled kicked at the floor and throwing his hat down, "Damn Lakers. Now I'm out 50 gil! Stupid janitor and his gambling habbits."

"Irvine...

"I mean, it's not MY fault that he just has to place a bet on every event known to happen on a day-to-day basis AND OR special events."

"Irvine!"

"It's always, 'C'mon! Just one little bet! Don't be a wimp and back out now, just place your money on the table.' And no matter how hard I resist, he always-"

"IRVINE!" Selphie's green hair matched oddly with her bright red face. She lit up like a... satanic christmas ornament.

"What?" The cowboy blinked at his girlfriend's sudden outburst.

"You and me. We're-"

"It's 'You and I', love." Irvine coughed and glanced around nervously.

"Grr... WHATEVER! You and I are OVER!" She clenched her fists tightly at her side and turned to leave.

"Over?" Like a lost puppy, the cowboy blinked in sadness and fear. He watched her as she walked away.

"OVER!" She screamed.

Somewhere behind the meat counter of the grocery section, came a loud scream...

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, SQUALL!?!?"

Notes


None.