Author's Note: I'd like to mention that I wrote this back in my forum-whoring days. Before I knew about proper fanfiction-writing, etc. I called myself "Darkone". I believe I still have my account there. x_x;;

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of Final Fantasy or McDonalds (McDonald's being a wretched, vile pleace).

Warnings: OTT Character bashing and OOC, I was a retarded kid

His senses were flooded with the sudden scent of prey nearby. He licked his lips as his fangs flared ready to feed. He was a hunter of the night, living in shadows within the depths of darkness. He had awaited this night for days... The perfect feast was laying upon a sleek smooth granite countertop. It seemed like a heavanly object, crispy and golden. He moved forward, his heart racing.

'Just two steps closer and you will feed tonight...' His subconscious thrummed deep within.

His mouth watered at her lucious aroma. Feeling the drool running down the left side of his jaw, he pounced, like a sleek jungle cat. He ceased her with ease wrapping the fingers of his right hand around his prey. Licking his lips once more, he fed.

He shoved that french fry in his mouth and chewed it mercilessly.

Chomp Chomp

"Irvine, you're eating habits have become almost repulsive." The blond took a step out from behind the counter. Pink radiated loudly from her tacky outfit.

Shielding his eyes had no affect against the blaring pink that threatened to consume him. In a blinding flash his thoughts slowed. Everything seemed to go into slow motion around him as he sunk to the ground. His head pounded as he hit the floor, still starring into the blinding pink. He began to shake, almost violently as if he were strapped to one of those paint mixers they have at Duron. The drool came flooding from his mouth as he shook and stared into the pink.

"Ms. Trepe... he's having another seasure... You really need to ditch that outfit." The small girl with curly brown hair smiled brightly, illuminating the dark resteraunt like some... satanic lightbulb.

"Evil..." The pink woman muttered, as she shuddered. That evil little brown haired vampire. "Shut up, girl."

"Tee hee!"

The blond woman shuddered to the very bone. "Satan's child..." she mumbled.

The woman, Quistis Trepe, was tall and blond (in two ways), she wore a pair of glasses perched highly upon the arc of her nose. Her pink attire seemed to radiate her desire to be the most evil vampire in all the land. (The land being McDonalds, of coarse.) She stood tall, with attractive features (that no one was attracted too), such as high cheekbones, letting her face slide smoothly (Like the Sahara desert? ... That's big ...), she was slim (shady, the real slim shady, you could tell because she was standing up), and long legs (like some big evil spider from a Harry Potter book). Yes, she was beautiful (That's a joke unto itself).

"Stand up, Irvine." Her voice was strong with authority. As she glared at the figure, victim to a seasure, upon the mucky McDonalds floor. "Now."

The man, a bit younger than Quistis, stood suddenly snapping out of his seasure. He shoved a pair of tacky black plastic sunglasses upon his face, and looked to the now dull pink woman. His brown leather trenchcoat was a bit dusty from the floor, but he managed to smile, none-the-less. "Quisty! How's is goin', homegirl?"

The blond sighed irritant with the younger male. "I have a mission for you, fool."

Irvine blinked. "I get a mission? You're sending me on a mission!?" He jumped into the air and landed on his knees dragging himself over to latch tightly onto Quistis's leg in a hug.

"Get off my leg."

"Yes ma'am." He detached himself and stood before her.

"Tee hee!" The small brunette girl, giggled at Irvine, batting her eyelashes wildly. Suddenly, she sneezed and flew back into the wall. "Gur! Why am I always hitting things!?" SHe frowned innocently, tears forming in her emerald eyes.

"Get up... Satan's child." Quistis added that last part only in a muffled whisper. "I can't have the whole vampire population rolling on the floor! We're people, not dogs-"

"You mean, we're vampires... not dogs..." Irvine added.

"Yes, yes, whatever. Now!" She turned to stare Irvine in the face, "You're mission..."

The brunette got up from her cracked spot on the wall and walked clumbsily back over to the other two, hitting the floor a few times on her way. "Damnit!"

Quistis shot the girl a glare, and continued. "Your mission is to seek out the illustrious gang... Them. And destroy... Them."

Selphie's green eyes grew in confusion, "Who is Them."

"They are... Them. The most feared gang in China-er-Balamb!" Quistis groaned.

Irvine and Selphie blinked simoultaneously. "Who are... Them?"

Quistis sighed, "Rinoa Heartilly, Squall Leonhart and Mop Boy. They are... Them."

Irvine and Selphie gasped simoultaneously, "Them"

"Them" Quistis confirmed.

Notes


None.