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[05.05.04] Written by: PWFSI ASSOCIATED PRESS

Funked! Week 4: The Rocko Leopards tore up the Venus division in the first three weeks of the season. The first real test from the rest of the league came in the form of the Funky Monkies from the far side of the world. The Monkies climbed on top, narrowly edging out the Leopards 234-207. Guam fans have not had much to celebrate the last couple weeks after their team's surprising victory over the Colonel's Atlanta Force in Week 1. Close losses to both Miami and Chicago had left the spirit in the "Treehouse" (The Monkies' headquarters in the Guerrilla Military Acadamy) a bit low. The game was pretty tight most of the week, with the big days coming early in the week. Guam started on Wednesday with a strong showing, followed by Rocko's responce on Thursday with a great outing from her bats. The Leopards' wood contributed three homeruns of support for starting pitcher Wells's solid outing. The two teams stayed close to each other giving Guam the slight edge when the smoke cleared, 234 to 207. "This will give us the little boost we needed after those last two losses," Manager Cornelius said after the game, "We hadn't been feeling this low since the team was packed up and moved to Timbuktu and forced to play a whole other sport. Getting our second win brings us back to thinking we can still contend for a wildcard spot if Chicago keeps playing the way they have been." The air at the Rocko camp was not as cheery. The casual observer would not be able to notice the disappointment in the nine-year-old's press conference room. The room was filled with poster's of Harry Potter and all team personel are forced to wear full length black robes to all press conferences and wear bright "Rocko" Green ribbons in their hair. Vlad Guerrero spoke to the press after the loss to Guam: "Those {Bleep}'n Monkies play dirty. Those pitcher's wouldn't give us anything to hit after Thursday. And don't get me started on the Manager's decision to bench Livan (Hernandez) and TL (Lilly), those are two of our best arms and that little child left them on the bench all week. How we supose to win like that? Clarvoent or not, no team should be ran by a girl.. let alone one still in elementry. Ms. Willa is supose to be some expert at the pitching staff, but she sure dropped the ball this week." This reporter was not able to obtain any information on what the punishment for such lashing out will be in the Rocko offices especially after Vlad threw down the green ribbon he had in his hair. Depite the controversy, the full team has made the road trip out to Cranville for their 4th division game of the season. Guam will host Chicago in what will surly be a great game in a week already full of big matchups. Chicago 249, Seattle 175 The Skunks just could not match the firepower of the Cubsbartmen this week. It seemed throughout the week that Seattle was just outmatched by the Pluto division leader. The weekend saw the Skunks early lead fade away, and Chicago showed why it was currently the best team in the league with strong pitching and reliable bats. Seattle is primed to eliminated one of their division foes out of the Division race. Chicago looks to go 5-0 when the have another matchup against Guam in week 5. Michigan 301, Miami 191 The Hustler's slump continues, dropping now the third game straight. Rumor has it that Miami is starting to look into making improvements to their roster, so a couple players may be getting the axe in the coming weeks. The Twinkies will face a very fired up Wisconsin team in week 5 that has had this game circled ever since the schedule was announced. Miami looks to rebound next week against the unpredictable Providence team. Hummels Wharf 253, Dundee 124 The Braves completed another wave of ownage of the Hillbillies leading up to their big matchup of the year against Atlanta. With another disappointing division showing, Dundee has found themselves in a must-win situtation if they want to continue to have a chance at the Mars Division crown. A loss against Seattle in week 5 (their fifth division game in as many weeks) they will be out of the hunt and have to play hard the rest of the way to try and earn one of three wildcard spots to make the playoffs. Atlanta 135, Wisconsin 112 Before the season, Atlanta force owner, Colonel Harper pledged league-wide ownage. He has started to turn around his season, and after the hard fought victory over the Wannabes, may still be able to fulfill his promises. The Wannabes suffered their 4th straight loss, mostly due to the poor pitching that they have been recieving from their highly touted staff. They have their revenge matchup set next week, so maybe the fans in Wisconsin will soon have something to cheer about again. Cranville 299, Providence 255 Two weeks ago the Plague stole their matchup from the grasp of the Euchres. Week 4 was different. Cranville, caught in a tight matchup, brought out their big guns and were able to have a good day on Sunday to grasp their second division win. Providence continues to have an on-again off-again relationship with their pitching staff, leaving the Plague without the consistancy needed to win week after week. They will face a desperate Miami tean next week, while Cranville will have their fifth division game against Venus leader Rocko.

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Last Updated: May 5, 2004