Last updated Nov. 14, 2002

Copyright © 2002, Caroline Randall

Drugged Ugh

Before the Marine Corps Liquid Confidence

Judgement

Drugged
Wake up sweaty, entangled
Senses matted, like my hair
See him
Only 3 drinks—one from
His arm which flops over me
My thoughts garbled with
Urges of flight and panicked flashbacks that
End without conclusion

June 11, 2002

Ugh
Masses uprooted
More fastidious than the previous

Before the Marine Corps
My elbow on your chest
Legs intertwined
Splash of wheels going by
Set back with brazen relief
Hum of the computer and
Whir of my cell phone charging
The battery died an hour ago
The days I don’t drink I down
A yellow pill
Saccharine with medicinal
Value, you are my high
I would give you Tums and
A sleeping pill to keep you longer
A slant of carlight slides off my
Fingernails to your chest
Run away again
October 18, 2002

Liquid Confidence
Something weird on the table
What it is I can’t discern
Drinking to feel more confident
Wipe away lonely concern
Some people sit one side of the booth
Facing me to make me squirm
Take another, tip it back
Almost too heavy, I’ll never learn
October 28, 2002

Judgment
Stupid bitch, two chins and pockmarked
Wearing a man’s t-shirt
Don’t stare at me because I’m drinking
Alone—it probably took you 3 years to
Make your 2 friends
Take that to-go box and waddle your
Rude way out of here
You’re just jealous that I have the
“confidence” to go on a date by myself
October 26, 2002

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