Pregnancy & Delivery

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Delivery Advice

Ask for a pre-positioned mirror so you can also witness the grand event.  Nicole Schwartz

 

Don’t go to the hospital too early, labor at home if you are able to for as long as possible.  Bring some relaxing music and your “bag of tricks” - the positions and relaxation techniques that you’ve practiced beforehand and will use to ease the pain during labor.

            – Carolee Harris

 

Try to get sleep whenever possible.  Don’t be brave, you don’t get a medal for braving pain. If you want to be alone at anytime, speak up.

            – Marilyn Nicacio

 

Trust your body, don’t let the doctors intervene in any way unless absolutely necessary.  Sit on a birthing ball for instant relief.  Also, labor in the shower.  The hand-held shower head feels great on your back between contractions, and on your lower stomach during contractions.  I was in the shower on a birthing ball throughout the transition phase, and was even laughing between contractions until it got really close to the end.

            – Marcy Vogler

 

Let someone else do it.  Marcia Ross

 

Get as much rest as you can before because you will get very tired from working so hard.  They don't call it “labor” for nothing.

            – Gloria Van Inwegen

 

Ask them to put you to sleep, and if they refuse then have Patrick knock you out.  Richard & Jas Nicacio

 

30 minutes or less is a great idea, but Domino's had a hard time with it. Andy Van Inwegen

 

A good (yet gentle) shag ensures an earlier delivery date. Kelly Hyde

 

Enjoy the pre-labor and take your time getting to the hospital.  Maybe do something fun together or take a walk.  If it’s a good time to rest, do so.  And sleep as much as you can in the days before the baby comes.

            – Andrea & Patrick Bertotti-Mettoyer

 

Don’t worry, relax, and enjoy it!  You get to experience one of life’s greatest miracles. Mandy Burns

 

Do what the nurses say – they know what they’re talking about.  You will probably forget everything you learned in your birthing classes, but the nurses will remind you.  Yes Victoria, you will do something totally humiliating.  There’s no way to stop from passing gas or more while you’re pushing your guts out.  Don’t worry, the doctors have seen it before.

            – Deb Russell

 

And advice for the father…

For Pat, the cuts probably won't leave scars.  For Victoria, trim your nails.  Pat, be aware of what's going on and listen very carefully and gently to Victoria.

            – Kiel Van Inwegen (cousin)

 

She’s going to be doing all the work.  Keep your mouth shut.  There’s nothing you can say that will be right.  For instance: I kept asking Debbie if she was “comfortable” or “if she was OK”.  OF COURSE SHE WASN’T!!  She was squeezing a watermelon through a straw!

            – Jim Russell

 

Pat, stand back!  Victoria will be possessed at this point.  There’s no telling what she will say or do.  As soon as your baby is out, she will return to the same woman you knew before.

            – Deb Russell

 

You may safely disregard any epithets or blaming curses your wife shouts at you in the throws of a contraction--and don't shout back!

            – Matt Gummerson

 

What was the biggest surprise about pregnancy or delivery?

How happy I was.

            – Kiel Van Inwegen (cousin)

 

How amazing the whole process of pregnancy and delivery was.  It’s amazing.  All the changes a woman goes through.  Watching that little “bean” turn into a human.  Counting the toes and fingers.  Seeing Aaron’s and Madison’s face for the first time in an ultrasound.  Seeing their little faces for the first time right after they are born.  How strong Deb’s grip is.  One other piece of advice.  While you need to be there, don’t get too close.  A woman in labor has amazing strength.  You don’t want her grabbing anything attached to you.  I couldn’t flex my hand for a week.  No joke.

            – Jim Russell

 

The episomity didn’t hurt.

            – Nicole Schwartz

 

How great I felt after having Korbin . . . no medication.  And, also, how long it took for me to go into labor after my water broke with Korbin.

            – Marcy Vogler

 

The big relief when the baby comes out, physically...mentally it has only begun.

            – Sally Hull

 

That labor can slow down so much.

            – Andrea Bertotti-Mettoyer

 

It hurt like HELL!!  (Oops, Mom's aren't supposed to swear and I don't think we better let Victoria in on this little fact.)

            – Gloria Van Inwegen

 

With Aaron it was how big he was.   He completely tore me apart.  I worked on getting him out for 14 or so hours.  Madison was surprisingly much easier.  She came after only a couple hours of work, and slipped right out with hardly a tear.  I’ve delivered babies weighing 1 lb. 6 oz., 9 lb. 10 oz., and 7 lb. 14 oz. and labor felt almost exactly the same with all three.  Size doesn’t matter here.

            – Deb Russell

 

How much babies look like aliens.  Haven’t you noticed that?

            – Richard & Jas Nicacio

 

Finding out that Liborace was gay.

            – Andy Van Inwegen

 

That Victoria agreed to get pregnant.

            – Marcia Ross

 

How fast the memory of pain disappears once the baby arrives.

            – Marilyn Nicacio

 

The contractions really do get strong!  The most amazing part was holding Connor for the first time.  The love you feel for your child is absolutely overwhelming.  Words are inadequate to explain it.  You'll know exactly what I mean when you hold your little one.

            – Mandy Burns

 

They both weighed less then what the doctor had said.  They were there, alive, and mine.

            – Natalie Manning

 

Which type of delivery option would you choose: Natural or Medicated?
 

Natural

Natural, so that Victoria can brag about it.

            – Marcia Ross

 

Natural if medically possible - the woman has more control of her body and the delivery this way.  She gets to experience her birth completely.  This day and age, too many doctors are using medication to make delivery ‘convenient’ for their schedules.

            – Carolee Harris

 

Go for natural, unless you feel pain.  Nicole Schwartz

 

I was too chicken to get an epidural.  Either way, you live through it, so you might as well experience what it feels like – at least once.

            – Deb Russell

 

I had my first baby medicated due to circumstances beyond my control.  I had HELLP syndrome, and had to be induced. With Korbin, I had a much better experience.  I did scream for an epidural for the last 40 minutes of labor, but once all was said and done, I felt so much better than I had after having Kilor.  I definitely advise going natural . . . if it’s an option.

            – Marcy Vogler

 

You know that answer - Natural...it's an experience that I was glad to have and remember.

            – Andrea & Patrick Bertotti-Mettoyer

 

Depends on how the labor is going.  If the labor is easy and you have enough rest and strength and the hard, working labor is of short duration, go natural otherwise take the medicine.

            – Marilyn Nicacio

 

Both Pat and Andy were born during a natural delivery.  This way I just felt that there was no chance of any drugs, etc., harming either you or me.

            – Gloria Van Inwegen

 

Natural…just because.

            – Richard & Jas Nicacio

 

Medicated

An epidural is your friend.  Whoever says that going “au natural” is better is from another planet with superhuman pain tolerance and they are lying.

            – Kelly Hyde

 

If God gave us the ability why choose to be bohemian? Sally Hull

 

Epidurals can be a good thing! Matt Gummerson

 

Medicated with Cheese. Andy Van Inwegen

 

With my situation I took the epidural and it was fabulous! Mandy Burns

 

Medicated baby!!  You don't feel a thing until after the meds have gone through your system, then you will wish you had more.

            – Natalie Manning

 

This should be totally up to two factors: 1 What’s best for the baby at the time of delivery.  2 Whatever the Mom wants.  By the way, #2 holds true forever and forever and forever.

            – Jim Russell

 

I won't presume to answer.  But my guess is a little of both. Kiel Van Inwegen (cousin)

 

What is the best advice your mother or father gave you about pregnancy & delivery?

 

Would you believe my mother told me very little about either pregnancy or delivery?  She was a great help after my babies were born, but before that she really didn’t give me much advice. Gloria Van Inwegen

 

Don’t get pregnant but if you do then just accept the pain and get on with it. Richard & Jas Nicacio

 

Marry her first, jackass. Andy Van Inwegen

 

Yes, it hurts, but it’s not senseless pain, it’s pain with a purpose.  You know it will end and you will have your beautiful baby. Mandy Burns

 

That I was not going to get a medal for having a natural birth. Nicole Schwartz

 

Never have kids (I know my mother only said this out of love). Richard & Jas Nicacio

 

The best advice my mom gave me was to remember that it’s a natural human phenomenon . . . not a medical emergency.  Also, she advised tearing verses an episiotomy.  I did tear with both children, but had very little pain from the tear with either . . . and healed up fast. Marcy Vogler

 

Don’t have children. Marcia Ross

 

What advice...My Mom was knocked out for all 6 except twins. She remembers little of birth only the aftermath. Sally Hull

 

Parenthood comes naturally.  You become an expert immediately.  Trust your instincts. Marilyn Nicacio

 

Don’t have another one until you are married. Natalie Manning

 

What is the best parenting advice your mother or father gave you?

 

Were they supposed to give advice?  Actually, I think it was trust your instincts. Kiel Van Inwegen (cousin)

 

I never listened to them before.  Why start now? (Don’t tell mom I said this…) Jim Russell

 

You can never spoil a baby.  When you have the child sleep by themselves the first time, DO NOT open the door when they stop crying.  They will see you and start the wailing all over again. Nicole Schwartz

 

Enjoy the time it goes fast. Every time you turn around they get a little bigger until they are no longer behind you, but in front walking out the door. Sally Hull

 

Don’t sweat the small stuff.  Why use a cannon when a pea shooter will do. Marilyn Nicacio

 

Just love that baby with all your heart and make him feel safe and cared for.  Take care of those physical needs, but don't forget the psychological ones.  Sometimes we focus so much on changing diapers that we forget to talk to babies and laugh and sing to them.  My parents rarely interfered with anything in my life, even though sometimes I wish they would have.  I remember one time, my mother very quietly took me aside and said, “Gloria, you are being too hard on Pat.”  That's all she ever said, but because she so rarely offered advice, I really took it to heart and realized that I was unfairly expecting too much from you.  You were so little, only about two years old.  So we all need to let children be children and not try to make them grow up too fast.  And….I hope I will be the kind of grandmother that my mother was and not interfere with you and Victoria and the way you raise your children.  If I ever do, please tell me - I promise I will understand! Be a good role model for your children.  They will become very much like you, so give them something to live up to. Gloria Van Inwegen

 

Relax and make the best out of whatever life throws at you. Andy

 

Enjoy it because each step, breath, smile, laugh, cry, hug, kiss, outburst...only happens once. Devin Burns

 

Best remedies for post-birth soreness

 

I recommend cool decaffeinated tea bags for nipples and witch hazel for hemorrhoids/sore crotch. Nicole Schwartz

 

Don’t drink ice water, but drink lots of water.  Ice on the pubic area.  Breast-feed.  If your nipples crack, use lanolin.  Use the little water bottle they’ll give you to spray off with after going to the bathroom instead of wiping.  Rub the rectal area with Vaseline before going poop in case of hemorrhoids.  Hemorrhoids may well be worse than the delivery itself, so be prepared; also, they last a long time so don’t try to endure it as I did. Marcy Vogler

 

I’ve heard of these sitzbath ‘butt salts’ that you soak your hiney in after birth! Carolee Harris

 

Sitz baths and keeping an irrigating bottle of warm water for use every time you use the restroom.  Lanolin on the nipples. Marilyn Nicacio

 

Sitz baths - I have one you can borrow if you want; cold packs and a donut seat. Andrea Bertotti-Mettoyer

 

For post delivery soreness, my friends have sworn that the portable “doughnut” makes life bearable. Kelly Hyde

 

Get that spray that numbs for relief, Dermaplast.  I use it now on kids boo-boos. Also if you get stitches ask for a topical steroid and something to loosen your bowels.  Everything else is just mental. Sally Hull

 

Tucks are the best invention ever made for this problem. Gloria Van Inwegen

 

Stock up on maxi pads.  Victoria is about to experience the period from hell that will last for weeks.  The doctor will probably prescribe some pain medicine and stool softeners.  Take them because the first time you need to have a bowel movement after delivery will feel like pushing a baby out all over again.  Baths will help.  And dab, don’t wipe!  Yes, it is very painful. The best remedy for cracked, bleeding nipples when nursing is Lansinoh ointment.  Victoria should start using it now to help “prepare” them.  Deb Russell

 

I don’t know and would rather not have to think about it for a while. Richard & Jas Nicacio

 

Alcohol in large quantities. Andy Van Inwegen

 

Morphine. Natalie Manning

 

I was given some prescriptions for pain.  I took the Motrin and it was great!  I brought a doughnut home from the hospital and sat on that for a day or two.  Just avoid hard chairs! Mandy Burns

 

Let’s be honest here Pat.  You want to know when you can start practicing for child #2.  Don’t worry.  She’ll let you know.  There’s nothing you can do except listen and be prepared for that opportunity.  Jim Russell

 

Other Tidbits about Pregnancy & Delivery:

 

Statistic: having a wife and kids decreases your chances of committing suicide by 20 fold. Matt Gummerson

 

Semen contains pitocin (spelling is off) and can induce labor.  During pregnancy you can smell everything. Nicole Schwartz

 

Baby Blues:  just be by yourself when they come.  You’ll feel awful, and feel guilty for feeling awful since you are so happy with your baby.  Just spend the afternoon as alone as possible and make sure that Pat’s there to help out with the baby.  Marcy Vogler

 

Breast feeding is the key to rapid weight loss. Kelly Hyde

 

Just remember that no matter how long the pregnancy feels and how hard the delivery is, once you see that little miracle and hold him in your arms, all of the previous difficulties are forgotten. Gloria Van Inwegen

 

You can tell a lot about a doctor by his/her hands--e.g. clean and neatly trimmed.  The same can be said about their shoes. Matt Gummerson

 

Keep records of every little thing the child does, they’ll want to know later when they did what and if you can’t give them an answer, they’ll accuse you of favoring the other children. Marilyn Nicacio

 

What questions relating to pregnancy and delivery have I not asked that I should have – and what is the answer?

Q: How do you know what to do with a new baby? 

A: Surprisingly as a mother, things just come naturally. I didn't believe it until I lived it.

            – Sally Hull

 

Q: What should dad bring to delivery?

A: A toilet kit and change of clothes.

            – Kiel Van Inwegen (cousin)

 

Q: What do you do with the advice you have received? 

A: Listen, read and follow your instincts.  Fads in baby care come and go.  Some need heeding, others are fashions only.

            – Marilyn Nicacio

 

Q: Have you considered video or pictures of the birth? 

A: We didn’t get any “right in there” shots, but Aaron took some awesome pictures of Madison being born.  And no matter how much the moms want to be in the delivery room, this is your first, you may not want to share this with anyone else.  Its very miraculous and you will turn into blubbering idiots.

            – Deb Russell