| I love my Willie 2: Willie rises again |
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| I Love My Willie 2 �Willie Strokes Back� or "Willie Arises Again� no kit Strength 25 Body 25 Agility 25 Mind 50 Bio More of a plaything for the female population than a human, Willie finds that he makes the girls laugh, which is by far one of the most sought after traits in this world. Strong of wrist and of larynx, he has been seen in theatrical occasions such as his self written one man show sequel to that Shakespeare classic �Banquo, Strikes Back�, a risque version of a womens take of Hamlet entitled: Oh feel ya up, and who could forget that age old classic: �Ugh Ugh, I�ve lost my Head and I don�t know why I�m writing this character up again�. He now has in his library collection, 3 whole books about Shakespeare. A Hamlet picture book, idiot�s guide to Shakespeare, and a First Folio Text of the Complete Works of William Shakespeare (which he uses as a Ottoman when watching repeats of Emiril Degassi). Matches are pretty one-sided in his presence, it's a battle of wits rather than the ever present bloodshed which has run rampant through Khazan. Plus the fact that no one really wants to be known for "Beating Willie". With his years of experience in pleasing an audience Willie has found that it�s all in the name that brings them in. Free My Willie, Let My Willie Go, I love my Willie again, Willie Strikes Back, Willie rides again, (and in some cliched circles; Mr. Viagra. Don't ask me why...) No matter how many different ways you say it, Willie has returned and he�s �pulling out� all the stops this time. Personality He was genetically engineered to be the greatest Shakespearean actor and imitator. Obviously, something went terribly wrong. He has been involved in theatre in one form or another for most of his life - due to the fact that he has no real life of his own. Now he has a headquarters. Now he has money. Now his has his own personal accountant. Anyway, this should be old hat for most of you out there. He doesn�t rely on violence to win. Violence is not the answer. Laughter can be a very powerful tool and peaceful weapon against the wicked in the world. Willie is very pleased to be able to talk about himself in a third person point of view... Pre-Show Announcement Force of Will standard Good Day ladies and gentlemen and welcome to my show. Just a few brief announcements before we get underway. First, flash photography and the recording of this show by any means audio, video, or virtual is strictly prohibited. Also, please refrain from eating, drinking, or smoking�anything� during the performance. For your convenience "Port o Privees" are located stage left. In case of an emergency, exits are located wherever you can find them. Please keep your hands and arms to yourselves at all times. That means you "Cooty Boy". Should the show suffer a sudden loss in pressure, oxygen masks will drop automatically. Simply place one mask over your nose and mouth and continue to breathe normally. If you are at the show with a small child please place your own mask on first and let the little bugger fend for himself. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Willie. The lovable Willie. After been beaten down a couple times by some "Wankers" I figured that my show could use a little revamping. So please, sit back, get comfortable, and enjoy the ride. Props: Rubber Chicken Bashing Attack supreme I have thought about featuring Mr. Chicken in a new show combining "King Lear" and "Titus Andronicus" entitled �Chicken a la King�. For those of you not in the know about Mr. Chicken I�ll just have to explain it again. No Comic is complete without his trustee rubber chicken. This one is special though. It�s filled with lead ball bearings. How I got them in there, use your imagination. When it hits its mark that person will most likely be knocked out for a good hour in order to use him or her as a dummy. I�ll use this gag over and over for I have found that rubber chickens never grow old in the mind of an audience. Prop Box Emotion Control superior HA! You�re more foolish than you look. First of all, do a reality check up there on melon one on the top of your shoulders. Secondly, I�m an actor, not a fighter. I've entertained many a fight with the props in this Box and I know how to use them. Like� this one� I know, you can�t control your laughter. I mean how can you keep a straight face when I�m using these ridiculous props? Go ahead, I�ll give you a few seconds to compose yourself. Hey, get off the floor, it�s not that funny. Come on now. If you don�t want to play nice I might just have to thwack you in the buttocks. Don�t make me get Mr. Chicken! Iron Willie Style Iron Will superior OTT, how can I tell it, it ain�t to hard to spell it, so listen up and soon you�ll get to yell it. �O� is �Over� �T� is for �The�, the last �T� well that�s were I take ye. You see I found a way to satisfy your craving when your born in a barn on Stratford upon Khazan. From poetry to subplots to imagery that�s illin�. I get right to the sex and to the killin�. I dress up in tights and do the doublet walk, hold forth, soliloquize, and talk iambic talk. No Magic, no secrets, Damn, there ain�t no voodoo. I�ll tell lots of Wang jokes and jokes about Doo Doo. When that don�t work and the opponent is buggin, I ain�t too proud, I�ll act stupid, start muggin�. And just to make sure that I never ever flop, I�ll do it all straight over the top. Just when you think you couldn�t get enough The Big Willie comes back to strut his stuff�word� Pie in the face Smokescreen ranged Have you e'er been pied? I mean, really, truely, pied? So bad that the whip cream can't get out of your eyes? So bad, that custard seems to drip through every facial orifice? So bad, that you choke on the miscellaneous goodies within the pie? Have you ever been knocked down by the force of such an embarrassment? I have, and it is by far the funniest thing to witness in person. Care to try? Viagra joke insert here |