| Soberguy |
| Name: |
| Current FUBAR Characters: |
| Captain Gibberish |
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| Another recipiant of Lawmans Shining Star of the Week for FUBAR! |
| Two men in bright, gaudy costumes sauntered into the nearly empty lobby of FUBAR HQ. As they approached the receptionist's desk, the one clad in green spandex and a glittering cape addressed the other, who held a laptop computer. "All right Ghost Writer, read back that last paragraph..." "Sure boss, 'As the fearless champion of sobriety burst forth through the doors of the colossal complex, all eyes were fixed upon him. The assembled throngs of well-wishers erupted in a thunderous applause - a heart-felt tribute for Khazan's greatest superhero'.... umm boss, are you sure you want to write that? I mean, noone is here. All they did was leave a message on your voice mail..." "You aren't paid to question my ideas, chum. I want creative licence, not actual objectivity"! "Right boss", backpeddled the humbled sidekick, "okay, where were we? 'Willie, the leader of the rag-tag group of heroes was the first to greet him, regailing him with gifts and praise. Yes, by accepting the invitation to join their ranks, our hero had indeed saved the floundering organization - pulling it back from the brink and thrusting it headfirst into greatness!' Oh man, I can't believe I just wrote that..." "Nonsense, chum, your skills as a literary hack are second to none. Take pride in your abilities! Excelsior!" The pair reached the desk and the caped hero slapped a poorly typed sheet of paper onto the desk. "Take care of that for me, will ya baby? Atta girl..." As the two headed out the door once more, the receptionist grumbled something about workplace harassment as she looked over the document: *************************************** Name: Soberguy Alias: A Guy Who Is Sober Prior Affiliations: Former self-proclaimed Archduke of Canada, formerly a member of AA, presently affiliated with Spandex Publishing and Myopic Movie Productions Inc. Reason for Joining FUBAR: Need material for upcoming movie sequel, "Soberguy 2: Beer Beware!" FUBAR title: None, but his PR people are working on a few catchy suggestions. FUBAR job: Motivational speaker, De-boozifier and part-time consultant. Job Description: Do as little as possible while still maximizing his own publicity and furthering his own selfish ideals and unchecked ego. Hobbies: Watching hockey, practicing superheroic poses in front of a mirror and of course, downing a few cold ones. Also taking singing lessons in preparation for his upcoming off-Broadway show, "Soberguy: The Man, The Myth, The Music!" Your quest in life: To end the scourge of alcohol once and for all, ridding Khazan of it's impure, toxic villainy and then celebrating my righteous victory with a HUGE kegger and BBQ! Favorite Color: Is glitter a colour? The air speed velocity of an unladen swallow: I wouldn't know. I spit. |
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