| People I Know |
| This bit, surprisingly is about people I know. I once thought of making a big long list of all the people I have ever known but I soon realised that would be a very stupid idea as it would be as boring and useless as it would be time consuming. Think of all the wasted time when I could be fingerknitting, making model aeroplanes, jumping out at my brother from dark corners etc. |
| Name: Sarah Status: Sometimes-sane hippy Special skills: She can be beautiful and unruffled, like, all the time. We went to Germany in July. Wore bikinis, drank beer and spoke to the locals as little as possible. |
 |
| Name: Zarah Status: Well behaved nutcase Special skills: Running around like a madwoman when on a caffiene high. And dancing around lamp-posts. Don't ask. |
 |
| Oh dear. There is now no room for further People I Know on this page... so for more click here. |
| Name: Nicholas McCullogh Status: Illegal immigrant Special Skills: His over-inflated ego is a dangerous weapon. Member of the Swedish Mafia. |
 |
| Name: Holly (otherwise known as Bridget) Status: Singing fairy Special Skills: Living beliveably in the past, Holly could be described as "a little bit mad". But it's not her fault - which would you rather do, be a dancer at the Moulin Rouge or go to college? QED. |
 |
| Names: Natalie and Gemma, aka the Terrible Twins. Status: BOTH "the evil one" Special Skills: Amazing ability to outrun, outthrow, outscore, outjump or outdrink anyone in the whole wide world. |
 |
 |
| Name: Phil Polson Status: Wife beater and would-be babe magnet Special Skills: Phil has been in and out of psychiactric care for most of his life due to his violent tendencies. Also flatters himself into thinking that I am in love with him. Hmm. |
 |
| Name: Hema Shah Status: Short punk wench Special Skills: My mental link to the little rock-on world that is Abingdon-on Thames. Prize nutter. |
 |
| Name: David Rocke Status: Drummer / guitarist / Hendrix impersonator Special Skills: Saying "Smurf" more times than anyone else, ever. And he has great hair. Special Section: Apparently he gets this because he is looking over my shoulder right now. "But there's nothing in it!!" he says. Hee hee hee. |
 |
| Name: Stu Status: Roman legionary Special Skills: Due to an unpleasant accident with a contraceptive and a time machine, Stu was born 2045 years too late, in 1980's Britain instead of ancient Rome. Has been known to conduct entire conversations in Latin, which is sad really as anyone who could understand him perished with the Roman Empire. |
 |
| Names: Marcus and Andy Status: The Goblins Special Skills: Superior poking/slapping/thrashing skills. Andy's killer hair (it has a life of it's own, people!) has been known to trap small mammals for days at a time without anyone noticing, as well as occasionally getting merged with Jo's afro which is just awkward and uncomfortable for all concerned. |
 |