Although I know that, in this great country of ours, we are never going to enjoy tropical temperatures and all walk around tanned and beautiful in bikinis, is anyone else really, really fed up of being so cold all the time? Being a sensitive kinda girl who feels the cold a lot, this is an issue very close to my heart. In the winter months I hardly emerge from within the hundreds of layers of clothes I wear, my school kneesocks are a major part of my wardrobe and I never take my gloves off (except in the shower because that would be silly).
So what do I propose we do about it? Study the diagram below.
The first point to notice is the satellite with the giant magnifying glass. To save money, I suggest we use the old Mir space station, fitted with a huge lens constructed in the Sahara desert and taken up in pieces by the space shuttles. The effect of this will be to diverge the sun's rays over a greater area of the earth, warming the naturally cooler areas of the earth such as this great country.
The second point is the underground heating system. A grid of hot water pipes running under all roads and pathways, it will keep the floor lovely and warm to walk on and it will be impossible for snow and puddles to collect on. Which can only be a good thing.
The final point is the outdoor heating - radiators on outside walls (yes, outside!) and big fire-in-a-barrels on street corners (I know they're really called braziers but 'fire-in-a-barrel' is what I call them, ok?). This would keep us all warm at night and of course it would be endless fun to poke the fire with sticks and things like that.
So, who's with me? What are you waiting for? Write to your local MP, prime minister, president or grandma now!
Incarcerate Little Mo