You spend every waking minute learning how to play your guitar \ drums \ bass \ keyboards \ mixing desk. You wanna get together with like minded souls and play your heart out. Then the opportunity arises for a major record contract. "Great!" You think. "I can make a bit of money, taste a little fame, have teenage girls with my face plastered over their bedroom walls". Nice. But it doesn't work out like that.

• At every gig, hoards of teenage girls scream out your fret ability because "the cute one" has thrown his towel into the crowd and caused a mini riot.

• At a contracted photo shoot you're yet again told to stand at the back. You wouldn't have minded but your proud mum has just pre-ordered 40 copies of the article for the whole family...

• On your next album sleeve you find that your face has been edited over with the face of the last CK model...

• You miss a call from your girlfriend because the large group of fans backstage fail to get out of your way in time and dont recognise you. You later find out you're dumped...

• Standing just behind the cute one on stage, you get hit in the eye by a fluffy toy and miss your cue. The entire band give you evils for the rest of the night.

• Interviewers constantly never ask for your opinion on anything. If they do, it's to check the correct spelling of "the cute ones" name.

Your band has had great reviews, and your fans love you. But your royal school of music qualifications are being ignored for the rock star poses "the cute one" practises two minutes before you're on stage. Your determination to get where you are, is ignored for 'cute' polls in teen magazines. At every gig you watch the cute one and think up devious ways how to take over their place in the band. You ARE the true artist. Your only good quote from a highbrow paper is underlined, and framed on your bedroom wall.

You should be the famous one, not them. One day they will all see...!

(cue evil laugher to fade)

 

(p.s. - there is always one alledgedlly "cute one" in every rock \ pop band (follow the trail of screaming teenage girls at gigs for real examples) and I am refering to no band in particular. halo just happen to all be attractive and so of course this doesn't apply to them... )